Chapter 94 - Thank You For Not Giving Up On Me
Christian thought his wife would be happier about Hunsacher being behind bars. She had been distracted ever since the arrest though she tried her best to act like everything was normal again.
He wished there was more he could do. The day he was given a life sentence with no possibility of parole all Avery could do was cry in his arms. She couldn't even try to put all of her thoughts into words and they poured out through her tears instead.
She had gotten what she wanted! So why wasn't she happy? Why wasn't it enough?
He asked her about it one day when they were on the way home from dinner with his family. She had engaged with everyone like usual but as soon as they left she was quiet and he knew something was wrong.
"Avery? Can you tell me what you're feeling right now?"
His wife looked at him with sad eyes. "It took us four years to take Hunsacher down but we haven't accomplished our ultimate goal of giving this country back to its people. That was what my dad wanted more than anything..
"We managed to stop him from implementing mind control and Angelo and the rest are trying to break up the monopolies but it doesn't feel like enough. We stopped one evil. Who knows what will end up taking its place? There will always be someone who will try to buy their way to the top like Hunsacher did. We can't stop all of them."
Ah. So that was what it was about. Retirement guilt.
Chrisitan understood that. He had been there. Worried about the people he wasn't saving by sitting back. But ultimately he had realized that someone else would take his place.
There would always be bad in the world but there would also always be good that rose up to fight it. He believed that with all his heart and he told her so.
"There will always be people like you and me, Avery. Those who fight the good fight by seeing the injustices in the world and taking them into their own hands. It doesn't all have to be on you. Take it from a retired hero."
Avery cracked a smile. "I suppose your words do hold more weight than most. That isn't all that's bothering me though…I don't feel ready for to be a mother and I'm sad that my dad will never know his grandchildren. Or that his wish is on its way to being fulfilled. I just…really miss him right now."
Christian wrapped her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "He would be so proud of what you've accomplished, Avery."
"I know. But I wish I could have heard him say it himself, you know?"
He could understand that. Losing her father had left a hole in her heart that could never be filled. That didn't mean he wasn't going to keep trying to make her happy though. They were building a family together and though she would always miss her dad she would never be lonely.
"I know. I'm sorry," Christian said with a heavy sigh.
"It's not your fault," Avery replied quietly. "Special occasions are just hard without him. I mean, I'm having my baby shower tomorrow. That's kind of a big deal. It's making all of this feel so much more real."
Her due date was less than two weeks away. Marianne had finally hired a second cake decorator to take some of the pressure off of her as her pregnancy progressed so she would be able to take a longer maternity leave than most.
He was grateful for that because neither of them wanted to send their daughter to daycare so soon. They had found out they were having a girl months ago and decided on the name Bailey. They wanted to use a B name because theirs started with A and C and it sort of completed the set.
Avery hyphenated her name when they got married because she was the last of her line. The West name would die with her.
Christian could see how much that troubled her so when they were coming up with baby names he suggested that they hyphenate their kids' names as well so it could carry on. She had been rather moved by that.
He didn't care what they were called. He just wanted his family to be together and happy.
Liam had questioned his decision since it was traditional for children to carry their father's name only but he explained that it was important that Avery keep her dad alive in this way and he couldn't argue with that. He didn't know what it was like to lose someone.
Neither did Christian but he had seen how much it had affected his wife and Angelo. He sincerely hoped he never would.
"It is getting very real," he agreed, forcing himself to focus.
His thoughts had been wandering again. That had been happening a lot since he found out Avery was Nox and started working with her. It had been a lot to process but at this point he had put whatever issues he had about her lies behind him and was trying to focus on the arrival of their first child.
The nursery was ready, the baby clothes were bought, and all that was left aside from the baby shower was the birth itself. The two of them had pored over countless baby books together since Hunsacher's arrest so he felt about as ready as he could.
The problem was that his wife was struggling. He was glad she was finally confiding in him about things that were bothering her but it was still hard seeing her upset.
Avery had become a much better communicator once she no longer felt the need to keep secrets from him. They were doing well on that front. He just wished he knew how to cheer her up and get her to focus more on the future than the past.
She said before they even got engaged that she needed time to figure things out. It seemed she was still working on that even with the whole Hunsacher mess behind her. He didn't know how much longer it would be or how he was supposed to help her but he knew he had to try.
Christian had fallen in love with a complicated woman. There was no denying that. But because he loved her he was determined to stand by her side even when there was nothing he could do to help her.
Avery sighed and snuggled closer to him. "At least I know some people who have had kids before. I'm sure your mom and Angelo's tías will be incredibly helpful as I try to learn how to navigate having a baby around. I'm not going into this alone."
No, she wasn't. She had a support system in place and she had him. He would be with her every step of the way.
"You'll be fine," Christian reassured her. "Don't worry."
He felt like a hypocrite for saying that because he was worried too. Both about his wife and about how things were going to be going forward.
They really hadn't had much time alone together before getting pregnant. And most of that time was under incredibly stressful circumstances. They were going straight from one stressor to another. Were they really going to be okay?
He felt like he couldn't show any negativity though when she was already so worried. He truly wasn't as stressed about all of this as she was but he wished they had more time to figure other things out before becoming parents. Kids weren't supposed to be born under chaotic circumstances.
Though he wouldn't call this chaotic. It would have been if they were still out fighting against Hunsacher for sure but they weren't. That part was over now.
It was all Angelo's game. His and the people's he was working with.
Avery didn't have to worry about it anymore but she still did because that was the kind of person she was. The kind who cared too much. It was one of the things Christian loved about her but he wished it didn't weigh down on her so much.
"I will be fine," she said with a degree of weary confidence he found surprising. "Because I have you."
He kissed the top of her head. He was glad that she felt like she could rely on him. More than he could say. It was all he had wanted from the first time he could tell there was something bothering her that she couldn't or wouldn't talk about. They had come a long way since then.
"I love you, Avery."
"I love you too. Thank you for not giving up on me."
Christian rubbed her arm. How could he? If finding out she was his archnemesis hadn't been enough to make him do that nothing could.
She had lied more than he would have thought he was able to forgive but she did it because she wanted a chance at happiness after miserably and selflessly devoting her life to make the world a better place. She saw something she wanted and she went for it heedless of the consequences.
And she hadn't been completely selfish. She had saved his life knowing full well that it could blow her cover. Because she loved him and hadn't been able to bear standing back and doing nothing when she was capable of intervening.
Avery's actions hadn't been the wisest but they hadn't been ill-intentioned. Christian couldn't resent her for them knowing how much she loved him and vice versa.
She had been willing to throw away everything she had worked for to be with him. She had gone against her closest friend too. That was how determined she had been to live happily with him for the rest of their lives. So how could he begrudge her that? They had wanted the same thing even if they went about it in different ways.
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