I Fell For My Nemesis

Chapter 124 - Just Be Yourself



Joss was so important to Keith. He couldn't afford to lose her but still found himself getting greedy because a few people had planted a stupid idea in his head. 

He wasn't supposed to be thinking like this. This wasn't a date. It was two friends celebrating an accomplishment together. It could never be more than that. It really couldn't because he screwed up every relationship he touched. 

Honestly, it was amazing he hadn't managed to mess this up yet. Probably because he really hadn't spent much time with her. As she got to know him better it was highly likely she wouldn't be a fan of what she saw. 

Keith remembered something Frostine said out of the blue. That her goofy friend was the light of her life and that he might be that for other people too. 

Was that even possible? Could someone truly value him that much? 

He knew Joss had to like him as a person and find some value in their relationship in order to stubbornly eat at the same restaurants for so long solely to see him. But he didn't want to get ahead of himself. That was the best way to end up disappointed. 

"You're just saying that," Keith deflected, pretending to be embarrassed by the compliment with a wave of his hand. 

Joss shook her head. "I'm not. I'm going to miss seeing you every day when you do become a firefighter. My workdays won't feel the same at all."

"You could always see me outside of work every day."

Stupid! Why had he said that out loud?! That definitely sounded like flirting. He was NOT supposed to be flirting with her. Not when he wasn't allowed to let his feelings run free for fear of losing what they had. 

Her eyes widened. "You would want to see me that often? Really?"

At least she didn't seem upset. Just confused. Why would she be confused by that though? Did she not realize how much he enjoyed spending time with her?

"Why wouldn't I? You're my best friend," Keith said honestly. "You aren't the only one who's going to miss that." 

"That's a lot of effort to put in though." 

"No more than you have by checking out different restaurants until you found me again. Unless you don't want to see me that often. I'd understand; wouldn't want to get sick of me."

"I could never get sick of you!" Joss said vehemently. "I meant that it was a lot of effort for you to put in because you're going to be really busy. And I don't know what firefighter schedules are like so ours might not match up so well."

Keith blinked at her. No one had ever told him anything like that before and he didn't know what to make of it.

"That's a pretty bold claim to make. You underestimate my ability to annoy people." 

He said it in a joking tone but he meant it. People always found him annoying in the end unless he managed to keep up whatever persona he thought they would like best the whole time he knew them. Even that wasn't always enough. 

Joss looked at him seriously, seeing through his attempts to use humor as a shield. Right. He momentarily forget she was a therapist. People probably did this in front of her all the time. 

"Keith. You're the highlight of my day. You underestimate your ability to make people happy."

Tossing his words back at him sent his jolt through him. He made her happy. Had anyone else ever told him that before? 

"I do?" Keith asked in a more vulnerable tone than he meant to. 

Joss reached out and clasped his hand on top of the table as she gave him an oddly heartbreaking smile. "Yes. I would love to see you every day once you change jobs. I just don't want to put pressure on you if that's difficult to make work. Promise."

"Why?"

The word slipped out without his permission. He truly didn't understand. Why would someone as smart and beautiful and put together as her want to see a wreck like him so often now that she knew more about his situation? 

She shrugged. "I need more fun in my life. You're very fun."

Was he really? That reminded him of his conversation with Frostine too. She said that everyone needed warmth and laughter but people like her needed it more than most because it helped her from drowning in everything she had going on. 

She also called herself dull. He didn't think Joss was dull at all but she did have a high-stress job. Dealing with other people's problems all day must be hard. She probably did need a good laugh to break up all the negativity. 

Had Keith finally found someone whose personality complemented his real one? Was that why they had gotten along so well all this time and she had put so much effort into continuing to see him whenever he switched jobs? Had the impossible finally happened? 

That made thinking of taking their relationship to the next level even scarier. She was too important, too rare and precious to lose!

"Honestly, it makes less sense that you want to hang out with me than that I want to hang out with you," Joss continued. "I'm about as boring as it gets." 

"I don't think you're boring at all!" Keith protested. 

"You would be the first."

He frowned. Who could possibly think Joss was boring? She was slow to warm up to new people, that was all. There was nothing wrong with being shy. 

He was struggling to think of something to say when she spoke up again. "I think that's what makes us work. We both think the best of each other. Everybody needs someone like that." 

Joss cut through straight to the heart of the matter. She was right. That was what made them work, wasn't it? They needed each other because they were both able to make the other person happy simply by being themselves. 

Keith needed her so much. If she needed him too even a little…was it possible for him not to screw this one up? The timing was still terrible because he hadn't retired from hero work yet but Red Dynamo had managed to make it work with his girlfriend. 

No. He was getting ahead of himself again. He had no proof Joss was interested in him romantically. 

Why would she be? He was nothing special. He wasn't ugly but he wasn't particularly handsome either. And he had absolutely nothing to offer her other than the ability to make her laugh. 

Keith didn't have a stable job like she did. He lived paycheck to paycheck in a crappy apartment shared with five other guys. Would she even want to have a boyfriend like that? 

"You really need me specifically?" he asked doubtfully. 

Joss nodded. "Yeah. You're my best friend too, you know. I'm not so great with people and I've never had a best friend before but I do want to see you more. So let me know if I'm doing anything wrong, okay?"

What kind of thinking was that? How could she possibly do something wrong when she had never been anything but nice (albeit sometimes slightly exasperated with his teasing) to him? 

"What do you mean you're not so great with people? You're a therapist!" 

"Yeah. I'm good at giving therapy not having real relationships with people. You apply completely different skills in those situations. I doubt anyone would want to be friends with somebody in therapy mode all the time," Joss said reasonably. 

She had a point. Still, he didn't think she was bad with people. She had always acted perfectly fine around him. 

"I think you're being too hard on yourself. You've been a great friend to me," Keith told her. 

Joss smiled at him in a way that turned his insides to jelly. "Really? That's reassuring."

Ah, he was completely helpless in front of her, wasn't he? How had she been able to affect him this much in such a short period of time? It hadn't been like this for three years before that coworker of hers said something to him. 

There was no going back now. Every time he saw her he inched closer and closer to spontaneously combusting. That would be a real accomplishment considering his water powers. 

"Don't worry about that, Joss. Just be yourself," Keith said as he gazed at her warmly. 

"I'll do my best. But the same applies to you." 

That was the problem with giving advice. You had to follow it or you would feel like the world's biggest hypocrite. He wondered if she ever had that issue when she was in therapy mode but it wasn't like he could ask. 

"Deal," he said reluctantly. 

Being himself had never worked out well for him but he had to try. This might be his only shot at being genuine with someone. He wasn't about to mess it up. 

Keith had no idea how to proceed from here but he knew that he needed Joss in his life. Even if she did turn it upside down by seeing more than he wanted her to.. She was scarily good at that even for a therapist. 

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