I Don’t Want To Be An Ojakgyo

"Stop trying to look tough and deactivate the spell."

Swanhaden looked at me and my siblings, turning his head from left and right.

As he hesitated, blood began to flow through his bandages.

His injuries were reopening because his magic was growing unstable. I held onto Swan's arms and begged him.

"It's enough. Swan, this is enough for me. Thank you for listening to my excessive request."

"….."

Swan wordlessly looked into my eyes.

"So let's go. I'm hungry."

When I told him that I was hungry, Swan finally deactivated the spell.

The white magic circle that had been wrapped around us disappeared and the magic in the circle was reabsorbed by Swan.

We ended up on the path of total darkness once again.

There was a white light at the end of the path–when we arrived there, we would go back to our present.

As soon as we came back into the dark path, Swanhaden fell onto the ground as if he had been waiting for it. He panted as he was barely able to treat himself with white magic.

I steadied myself as I watched Swanhaden in pain. I didn't want to reproach myself. That would make Swan's choice, something that he had undergone even though he knew the risks, meaningless.

Instead, I wanted to thank Swan for preventing this from becoming a lifelong regret, and for allowing me to take care of it. I wanted to thank him. I was sorry to Swan, who had undergone all that trouble, but I was more grateful than anything.

I rushed to help Swan on his feet. Swanhaden watched as I stared ahead of me and walked and let out a short laugh.

He put his head on mine and rubbed it. He seemed to stick to me more than usual today. It must've been weird because of my changed appearance, but he seemed more comfortable than usual because of it for some reason.

Swan rested his head on mine as he recovered, then looked surprised as he turned his head to look at me.

"Why are you crying?"

Swan angled his body away from mine. I didn't know if Swan was actually that fast at recovering or if he was faking it, but he seemed to have recovered somewhat.

I stretched my hand towards Swanhaden's hand and linked my fingers with his.

"Let's go back, to where I was before. Let's go back."

I slowly walked through the long and dark path and muttered to myself, as if making a promise.

Everything was mending itself, one by one. My memories, my times in that place were slowly being filled with new memories and times. That was obvious.

No matter what, a part of me would remain in them forever, and a part of them would remain in me forever. But now, I would look somewhere far away, somewhere as long and far away as the path I was walking, towards my future.

While I had been submerged in my past, they had slowly been working through their pain. I was proud of them, but I was also a bit sad. Maybe I was feeling this way because I was still young.

When I reached the end of this road, I would really have to let this part of myself go. I had no more excuses to keep holding onto my past like this. Just like they had buried me in their hearts and wished for the best, I had to do the same. It hadn't worked out well until now, but this had to happen now. I had to let them go and believe that they would live on, and live well.

Now that I didn't have that responsibility burdening me, a part of me felt empty. I began crying loudly, just like Semi had cried earlier.

I had never cried out loud like this before, but I felt comfortable crying here because nobody could see me. The only thing I could hear in this quiet place were my loud cries.

This was really the end. This was really going to be the last time I thought about the past and felt sad about this.

Swanhaden wordlessly held my hand and walked by my side. Through his hand, he casted a spell that would protect my throat. Seeing Swan using magic again meant that he had recovered somewhat.

"Shushu, will you give me permission now?"

"What."

I frowned at Swan's words. I didn't even remember what I did a few days ago. How was I supposed to remember something from a long time ago?

"What does that mean? I don't know. Do what you want."

I was out of it, so I just sniffled and responded haphazardly.

As soon as he was given permission, Swanhaden gripped my hand a bit tighter and sent a bit more magic through his hand.

Through Swan's touch, I felt all of my memories and the tiny emotions within it all move towards him.

The happy, beautiful memories and emotions became more beautiful as I shared it with him, and the sad, hurt memories and emotions seemed to heal as they moved to him.

All of the loss, the responsibility, and the pressure I had felt seemed to become lighter as I shared it with him.

I dimly wondered if this was what he had meant by treatment earlier.

When he used his healing magic, he would take in the other person's injuries and heal it within his body. It seemed like his mental treatment spells worked the same way. For some reason, I was very aware of his treatment methods, but I didn't really know why. I didn't try to think too much of it.

During treatment, a lot of my past memories and pains were sent to him and returned. If I had been miserable and sad by myself before, now I felt a lot lighter, knowing that someone knew everything about me and tried their best to understand me and my hurts.

I was comforted with the conversation and sympathy I received through magic. All of the memories I had slowly shifted from a burden that I was forced to carry on my own to a worn out photo within my soul. Swanhaden's power granted me the ability to look at those photos with a calm, objective gaze.

When I thought that the magic used was something quite poetic, we were almost at the end of the path. We walked through the light and returned to our original world.

As soon as we exited the light, I ended up doing a full roll on the ground. When I opened my eyes, Swanhaden was right below me.

Our faces happened to be incredibly close.

It was late at night. Our surroundings were dark, but the moon was bright. I could see Swan looking hazy but bright under the gentle light of the moon.

Swan was crying instead of me. Seeing his multicolored eyes in such close proximity had me thinking only one thing: how pretty.

I placed my thumb under his eyes as tears continued to wordlessly fall from his eyes. When I put my face close to his, I could feel the slight warmth that his tears had left behind.

Swanhaden raised his right hand, the one that he had used to catch himself on the ground, and put it on the side of my face. His touch was so gentle that I could feel how much I was being cherished.

Swan wiped my tear-streaked cheeks and pulled my face closer to his. Our faces grew even closer. If we moved just a bit, our lips would touch.

"There isn't a single part of you that isn't lovable."

Swan whispered to me with a sad smile on his lips. I could feel his shallow breaths every time he talked. For a moment, I thought that our lips had touched.

Swan seemed to realize how close we were after a moment. Or maybe he had realized it earlier. His gaze seemed to burn a hole through my lips.

After he gazed at my lips for a long time, he raised his eyes to look back at me again. It was a look full of provocation, but it wasn't forceful.

Swan gently rested one hand near my waist and the other towards my face and tugged my face closer to his, millimeters away from each other, and stayed still.

I was still entranced by his face. I didn't even think of pushing him away.

Our lips were almost touching but not. We were so close that I almost thought it had already touched. My lips felt ticklish.

Swan just kept the distance there and didn't push me away or pull me closer. He just stayed still.

I was the one that moved first, swept by the strange feeling in the air.

As soon as our lips met, Swanhaden pulled me towards him, as if he had been waiting the entire time. He pulled my arms towards his neck and hugged my waist closer. Then, he put his lips on mine, inhaled once, then let me go. Swan seemed more shocked at his own behavior for a moment.

I hugged Swan's neck a bit closer, then placed a kiss atop his teary eyes a few more times. Swanhaden seemed surprised at my behavior. His eyes grew wide, then he smiled sadly and then put my face near his.

This time, Swanhaden was the first one to initiate the kiss. The kiss was gentle at first, but soon became heavier and heavier.

I opened my eyes slightly to see that he was still crying. Tears were still flowing down his jewel-like eyes even as we kissed.

"I just like you so much……"

He said as he sobbed. I like you, he whispered, voice hoarse and filled with tears. He softly repeated his words before placing his lips back on mine.

It seemed like Swanhaden was also having his first kiss. It was kind of awkward. It's okay, I was a mess too. But he was quick to learn and the kiss soon grew heavy. I didn't like how he was softly leading the kiss as if he was teaching me, so I bit down on his lips. He laughed quietly.

I didn't have the mind to think about what I was doing with who and what I was listening to. I was just following my instincts.

There had been a time when my lips had been on his (it had actually just been ripped off), but it was a complete 180 from that time. I had been shocked and taken aback and angry back then, but I was just enjoying it right now.

I liked being so close to someone, and I liked the warmth of it all. I wondered if this was why Yves was so touchy-feely all the time.

When I hugged him from above and put my lips on his, Swanhaden fell more and more backwards. I shifted my own body backwards so he wouldn't fall and found myself on the opposite end of the position from earlier. I almost fell backwards and Swan caught me with his hands, catching my head first.

I smiled slightly at his surprised look and hugged him again, then continued what we had been doing earlier.

I didn't know how much time had passed, but I could feel my transformation magic slowly fading away.

"Swan….."

I called his name softly while our lips were apart. The long black hair that had been falling down my shoulders slowly shifted back to orange.

When I called his name, Swanhaden's eyes grew wide as he looked towards me.

"…….damn."

Swanhaden stiffened. It seemed like he was in a state of shock.

"Oh my god."

I fell asleep to his sleep spell. The last thing I saw before I went under was Swanhaden's stiff expression.

"Stop trying to look tough and deactivate the spell.""….."

Swanhaden looked at me and my siblings, turning his head from left and right.

As he hesitated, blood began to flow through his bandages.

His injuries were reopening because his magic was growing unstable. I held onto Swan's arms and begged him.

"It's enough. Swan, this is enough for me. Thank you for listening to my excessive request.""….."

Swan wordlessly looked into my eyes.

"So let's go. I'm hungry."

When I told him that I was hungry, Swan finally deactivated the spell.

The white magic circle that had been wrapped around us disappeared and the magic in the circle was reabsorbed by Swan.

We ended up on the path of total darkness once again.

There was a white light at the end of the path–when we arrived there, we would go back to our present.

As soon as we came back into the dark path, Swanhaden fell onto the ground as if he had been waiting for it. He panted as he was barely able to treat himself with white magic.

I steadied myself as I watched Swanhaden in pain. I didn't want to reproach myself. That would make Swan's choice, something that he had undergone even though he knew the risks, meaningless.

Instead, I wanted to thank Swan for preventing this from becoming a lifelong regret, and for allowing me to take care of it. I wanted to thank him. I was sorry to Swan, who had undergone all that trouble, but I was more grateful than anything.

I rushed to help Swan on his feet. Swanhaden watched as I stared ahead of me and walked and let out a short laugh.

He put his head on mine and rubbed it. He seemed to stick to me more than usual today. It must've been weird because of my changed appearance, but he seemed more comfortable than usual because of it for some reason.

Swan rested his head on mine as he recovered, then looked surprised as he turned his head to look at me.

"Why are you crying?"

Swan angled his body away from mine. I didn't know if Swan was actually that fast at recovering or if he was faking it, but he seemed to have recovered somewhat.

I stretched my hand towards Swanhaden's hand and linked my fingers with his.

"Let's go back, to where I was before. Let's go back."

I slowly walked through the long and dark path and muttered to myself, as if making a promise.

Everything was mending itself, one by one. My memories, my times in that place were slowly being filled with new memories and times. That was obvious.

No matter what, a part of me would remain in them forever, and a part of them would remain in me forever. But now, I would look somewhere far away, somewhere as long and far away as the path I was walking, towards my future.

While I had been submerged in my past, they had slowly been working through their pain. I was proud of them, but I was also a bit sad. Maybe I was feeling this way because I was still young.

When I reached the end of this road, I would really have to let this part of myself go. I had no more excuses to keep holding onto my past like this. Just like they had buried me in their hearts and wished for the best, I had to do the same. It hadn't worked out well until now, but this had to happen now. I had to let them go and believe that they would live on, and live well.

Now that I didn't have that responsibility burdening me, a part of me felt empty. I began crying loudly, just like Semi had cried earlier.

I had never cried out loud like this before, but I felt comfortable crying here because nobody could see me. The only thing I could hear in this quiet place were my loud cries.

This was really the end. This was really going to be the last time I thought about the past and felt sad about this.

Swanhaden wordlessly held my hand and walked by my side. Through his hand, he casted a spell that would protect my throat. Seeing Swan using magic again meant that he had recovered somewhat.

"Shushu, will you give me permission now?"

"What."

I frowned at Swan's words. I didn't even remember what I did a few days ago. How was I supposed to remember something from a long time ago?

"What does that mean? I don't know. Do what you want."

I was out of it, so I just sniffled and responded haphazardly.

As soon as he was given permission, Swanhaden gripped my hand a bit tighter and sent a bit more magic through his hand.

Through Swan's touch, I felt all of my memories and the tiny emotions within it all move towards him.

The happy, beautiful memories and emotions became more beautiful as I shared it with him, and the sad, hurt memories and emotions seemed to heal as they moved to him.

All of the loss, the responsibility, and the pressure I had felt seemed to become lighter as I shared it with him.

I dimly wondered if this was what he had meant by treatment earlier.

When he used his healing magic, he would take in the other person's injuries and heal it within his body. It seemed like his mental treatment spells worked the same way. For some reason, I was very aware of his treatment methods, but I didn't really know why. I didn't try to think too much of it.

During treatment, a lot of my past memories and pains were sent to him and returned. If I had been miserable and sad by myself before, now I felt a lot lighter, knowing that someone knew everything about me and tried their best to understand me and my hurts.

I was comforted with the conversation and sympathy I received through magic. All of the memories I had slowly shifted from a burden that I was forced to carry on my own to a worn out photo within my soul. Swanhaden's power granted me the ability to look at those photos with a calm, objective gaze.

When I thought that the magic used was something quite poetic, we were almost at the end of the path. We walked through the light and returned to our original world.

As soon as we exited the light, I ended up doing a full roll on the ground. When I opened my eyes, Swanhaden was right below me.

Our faces happened to be incredibly close.

It was late at night. Our surroundings were dark, but the moon was bright. I could see Swan looking hazy but bright under the gentle light of the moon.

Swan was crying instead of me. Seeing his multicolored eyes in such close proximity had me thinking only one thing: how pretty.

I placed my thumb under his eyes as tears continued to wordlessly fall from his eyes. When I put my face close to his, I could feel the slight warmth that his tears had left behind.

Swanhaden raised his right hand, the one that he had used to catch himself on the ground, and put it on the side of my face. His touch was so gentle that I could feel how much I was being cherished.

Swan wiped my tear-streaked cheeks and pulled my face closer to his. Our faces grew even closer. If we moved just a bit, our lips would touch.

"There isn't a single part of you that isn't lovable."

Swan whispered to me with a sad smile on his lips. I could feel his shallow breaths every time he talked. For a moment, I thought that our lips had touched.

Swan seemed to realize how close we were after a moment. Or maybe he had realized it earlier. His gaze seemed to burn a hole through my lips.

After he gazed at my lips for a long time, he raised his eyes to look back at me again. It was a look full of provocation, but it wasn't forceful.

Swan gently rested one hand near my waist and the other towards my face and tugged my face closer to his, millimeters away from each other, and stayed still.

I was still entranced by his face. I didn't even think of pushing him away.

Our lips were almost touching but not. We were so close that I almost thought it had already touched. My lips felt ticklish.

Swan just kept the distance there and didn't push me away or pull me closer. He just stayed still.

I was the one that moved first, swept by the strange feeling in the air.

As soon as our lips met, Swanhaden pulled me towards him, as if he had been waiting the entire time. He pulled my arms towards his neck and hugged my waist closer. Then, he put his lips on mine, inhaled once, then let me go. Swan seemed more shocked at his own behavior for a moment.

I hugged Swan's neck a bit closer, then placed a kiss atop his teary eyes a few more times. Swanhaden seemed surprised at my behavior. His eyes grew wide, then he smiled sadly and then put my face near his.

This time, Swanhaden was the first one to initiate the kiss. The kiss was gentle at first, but soon became heavier and heavier.

I opened my eyes slightly to see that he was still crying. Tears were still flowing down his jewel-like eyes even as we kissed.

"I just like you so much……"

He said as he sobbed. I like you, he whispered, voice hoarse and filled with tears. He softly repeated his words before placing his lips back on mine.

It seemed like Swanhaden was also having his first kiss. It was kind of awkward. It's okay, I was a mess too. But he was quick to learn and the kiss soon grew heavy. I didn't like how he was softly leading the kiss as if he was teaching me, so I bit down on his lips. He laughed quietly.

I didn't have the mind to think about what I was doing with who and what I was listening to. I was just following my instincts.

There had been a time when my lips had been on his (it had actually just been ripped off), but it was a complete 180 from that time. I had been shocked and taken aback and angry back then, but I was just enjoying it right now.

I liked being so close to someone, and I liked the warmth of it all. I wondered if this was why Yves was so touchy-feely all the time.

When I hugged him from above and put my lips on his, Swanhaden fell more and more backwards. I shifted my own body backwards so he wouldn't fall and found myself on the opposite end of the position from earlier. I almost fell backwards and Swan caught me with his hands, catching my head first.

I smiled slightly at his surprised look and hugged him again, then continued what we had been doing earlier.

I didn't know how much time had passed, but I could feel my transformation magic slowly fading away.

"Swan….."

I called his name softly while our lips were apart. The long black hair that had been falling down my shoulders slowly shifted back to orange.

When I called his name, Swanhaden's eyes grew wide as he looked towards me.

"…….damn."

Swanhaden stiffened. It seemed like he was in a state of shock.

"Oh my god."

I fell asleep to his sleep spell. The last thing I saw before I went under was Swanhaden's stiff expression.

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