I Don’t Want To Be An Ojakgyo

I stretched my hand to close my empty black eyes, still facing the sky. Though, thank goodness my younger siblings didn't see me dying. No, was it actually unlucky that I wasn't able to see my younger siblings, my driving force, before I died?

I had gained more information through the book and I didn't want to see how my corpse was taken off of the streets, so I was planning on heading back. Nobody had found my body yet, but I would be taken somewhere else as soon as someone reported it. Would my siblings hear about my death through the phone?

I was just sorry and worried that I had died after our parents. I was worried about Se-yoo. He couldn't get sidetracked again. He was getting better–he wasn't going to go crazy again, would he?

I frowned through my pounding chest that felt like it was being stretched too thin. I tried to remember the circle that would get me out of these memories.

I was just about to leave when I suddenly heard a familiar voice.

"So when unni becomes a legal adult, we're going to give it to her then?"

"Mhm, it's a surprise gift so we're going to try and pester her as much as we can, okay?"

"Then Semi is going to poop on the floor! And then Yehwan oppa is going to clean it up."

"Good, good."

"Se-yoo hyung, you're so mean. Do you have to pull out a fake scene like that and make her feel bad?"

"Hey, think about what happened to me on my birthday."

"Hmm, Ye-an nuna was pretty mean back then. It was funny seeing you run a lap around the neighborhood naked."

Three familiar children were holding hands and walking down the street. The tallest of the three, Se-yoo, held a gift for someone. The gift was wrapped so I couldn't see what was inside.

Shocked, I stopped drawing the magic circle and stared as they walked closer and closer to my body.

"…….This can't be happening."

I wanted to stop my siblings from finding my body. I turned around and tried to move towards my siblings, but their roaming eyes were faster.

"Holy shit, that surprised me."

Se-yoo discovered the person on the ground first and covered his younger siblings' eyes.

"Hyung, why are you doing that?"

"Oppa, don't play around. It's not funny."

I could hear our siblings jeer, but Se-yoo frowned and looked towards the person on the ground. He scrunched his eyes as if he couldn't see it well.

"Hey, kids. Your hyung suddenly wants to get some ice cream. Do you want to go home first? I'll buy some. Whoever gets home the fastest through the opposite road over there gets two ice creams."

When Se-yoo tried to send off the kids home first with a promise of a prize, Yehwan and Semi both agreed and began running home to get there first.

Se-yoo checked to see that the kids were gone, then took out his phone and immediately called the police.

"I reported it, so I should buy some ice cream and head home."

Thankfully, Se-yoo didn't check my body. He immediately turned around towards the supermarket.

"She should be done with her part-time job now, right?"

Se-yoo muttered as he took out his phone from his pocket again. Then, he dialed a number and called someone. Se-yoo's phone screen had 'Eldest sister' as the phone rang.

"Han Ye-an, you ass. Twenty years old? Ugh, gross."

Se-yoo shivered overdramatically with his phone at his ear. He held up a small box in his hand.

He opened the box to reveal a rose-shaped badge within it.

"When I was lost and wandering, I must've hurt her feelings a lot. What a good sister, though."

Se-yoo smiled bitterly as he fiddled with the badge. He put the lid back on and put it in his pocket.

"I hope there's only happiness coming out way now. For us, all of us."

Se-yoo slowly walked as he blew out a warm gust of air. My heart hurt at Se-yoo's lone muttering. I needed to leave right now, but my hand refused to listen.

He was waiting for my response, but I didn't get the phone immediately.

When I didn't answer the call, Se-yoo tilted his head in confusion and redialed the number and called again.

[Riiiiiiing………..Riiiiiiiing…….]

When Se-yoo called, my basic ringtone ran from right behind him. Se-yoo frowned when he heard the ringtone. He thought it was someone else's phone that was ringing, but the phone behind him seemed to ring only when he called.

Se-yoo thought that something was weird. He turned around to look towards where the phone was ringing.

His eyes were met with a cold, dead body, and that was when Se-yoo realized that something was very wrong.

The phone continued to ring from the pocket of someone lying on the ground, their gifts for their siblings all strewn on the ground.

The broken screen had tiny little black and red lines littered along the screen. Even then, the 'Han Se-butt' on the screen was crystal clear.

"Han Ye-an!"

Se-yoo hugged my body in his arms. He yelled so loudly that I felt like he would pass out right then and there.

I couldn't bear to see what happened after. I left the memory.

I placed a towel in a bowl of cold water, then placed the wet towel on my face.

Whenever I breathed, the towel moved in and out, following my breathing motions.

Hazel, who had come back to the dorms after a long time, watched what I was doing and laughed. I laughed lifelessly with her.

The towel was cold, but my eyes were warm.

Calm down, everything already passed. It's all in the past.

I couldn't breathe properly, so I choked for a few moments, then. Then I cried.

I didn't want to drag my feelings down with something that happened such a long time ago. I tried to forget it as much as I could.

Too much time had passed. I didn't want to bring that topic back up. It didn't feel right for me to burst into tears and cry about how sad it was that I died and how much I missed my younger siblings.

I decided not to look at what happened after I died.

I had used black magic too often, which left me exhausted. I also didn't have to courage to see what had happened to my younger siblings after that had happened. I wanted to check so badly to see if they were doing well, but my fears were stronger. I avoided it.

I tried not to show it as much as I could, but I guessed that it was inevitable that I looked depressed. When I looked at my reflection on the window, my shoulders were drooping and I looked exhausted. Other students patted my shoulder and asked me if I was okay, so I forced my mouth to curve into a smile and reassured them.

Anyway, being sad aside, the reason why I checked my memories was because I was worried about the 'last page' of the book.

The scene where Hestia went up the Augran mountain.

Even though I had looked through my past life, I felt like I didn't gain too much out of it.

The only gain that I had with all of that was that I had come to this world based on someone's plans.

There were a few other things I had questions about other than that, but that was the only thing I was sure of.

I needed to get some more information, so I headed to Yves, who was the most knowledgeable about the current state of the empire.

Yves often worked in the quiet pavilion within the school. When I headed over there assuming he would be there, Yves was leaning on one of the pillars as he looked through some documents. Just as expected.

When I headed towards Yves, he put down what he had been holding and turned his body towards me. He seemed to notice that my mood wasn't great recently and was a lot more careful with his actions.

He didn't hug me as soon as he saw me. Instead, he took a step back and stared at me before sweeping his hand across my forehead and my hair.

Then, he pulled me towards his side and sat me down before disappearing somewhere. He came back and handed me chicken skewers. I had no idea where he got it from, though.

We sat on a high hill near the garden stairs as we stared at the fountain. Yves put his hand on my head and gently pat my head. With his head still facing forwards, he asked me if there was a reason why I was so gloomy.

Then, he asked me if there was anyone who put me in a bad mood. At his words, I paused to think before shaking my head.

My head felt like it was overheating, so I brought up another heavy, complicated topic to try and focus on something else.

"Yves, what do you think about the current state of the Orde Empire, based on your insight?"

When I changed the topic to the subject I had been curious about, Yves looked taken aback. It must've felt like it had come out of nowhere.

Yves narrowed his eyes and stared a hole into my face. Then, he gave me a genuine response to my question.

"Exactly what do you mean by the current state?"

"Just, the general atmosphere."

At my question about the atmosphere, Yves asked if I was asking because of a school assignment.

When I poked him a few times with my finger to stop digging and just answer my question, Yves bit the finger that I had poked him with. When I, surprised, flung my finger back towards me, Yves put his arms across his chest and answered my question.

"I'm not too sure about before, but it's become really peaceful recently."

"Really?"

"It was about to get pretty rowdy because of the inheritance problem, but mister Hylli Orde just overpowered the second prince with his skills. It passed without too many issues. Other than that, another incident…. There are a few, but all of them resolved themselves so easily that it's strange."

While I had been quietly attending the academy, all of the dangers had seemingly passed. There had been a crisis that almost led to our destruction, a battle for the throne, and all of them had apparently resolved themselves without a hitch.

When I read the newspapers and listened to the professors' conversations, the empire was enjoying a peaceful time. Based on the contents of the books, the Augran mountain's monsters should've grown more aggressive and should've come down to attack people. All of the successors that represented the nobles should've lost their minds to try and get their hands on the throne. But just like what Yves said, everything was settled.

All of the monsters that had been riled up and ready to attack during the end of junior year seemed to be calm, and Hylli was next in line for the throne and there was peace within the palace.

All of my friends, who should've gone completely off the deep end, were relaxed and playing chess and stuff. I was just back from a round.

It was a time of complete peace. It was strange.

"Why are you asking all of a sudden?"

"Could there be an incident that wipes out the empire all at once?"

Yves huffed out a laugh at my question. Then, he frowned and quietly muttered, "That could've been the case." to himself.

When he turned back to face me, the frown was gone.

"….there shouldn't be anything currently?"

Yvnes said after a beat of silence. He scratched his cheek slightly.

Could've been before. Yves stared at the ground for and stayed quiet for a while. He seemed deep in thought about something before shaking his head.

"Mm, it's all done. There are a lot of trivial problems, but the big problem that you're worried about won't happen."

Yves' words held a ring of truth to it. There had been a time when danger seemed to be in the horizon before it disappeared from some point onwards. Even though the conclusion of the book had been written that way, the current situation was very different from the situation in the book. I decided to accept the facts as they were, even if I wasn't too pleased with it.

It wasn't the satisfying, assuring information that I had wanted, but this was plenty.

Once I finished organizing my thoughts, I stood and jumped down from my seat next to Yves.

My brain was filled with information. I had a sudden urge to head to the club room and check the monster village.

When I tried to head out, Yves stared at me before grabbing my arm.

"Shushu."

"Why?"

"If you have time the day after tomorrow, do you want to play with me?"

I raised an eyebrow at the sudden request to play.

Then, I soon figured out his intentions. Yves' smile held a bit of concern towards me. I was touched at his concern.

"I regret the time I lost with you because of Eric, so I need my fill."

Yves' relaxed, silver eyes opened into a small smile.

I stared at Yves, who had dragged me close and whispered all of this in my ear. I rolled my eyes thoughtfully for a while before nodding slightly.

Sure, go ahead.

I stretched my hand to close my empty black eyes, still facing the sky. Though, thank goodness my younger siblings didn't see me dying. No, was it actually unlucky that I wasn't able to see my younger siblings, my driving force, before I died?

I had gained more information through the book and I didn't want to see how my corpse was taken off of the streets, so I was planning on heading back. Nobody had found my body yet, but I would be taken somewhere else as soon as someone reported it. Would my siblings hear about my death through the phone?

I was just sorry and worried that I had died after our parents. I was worried about Se-yoo. He couldn't get sidetracked again. He was getting better–he wasn't going to go crazy again, would he?

I frowned through my pounding chest that felt like it was being stretched too thin. I tried to remember the circle that would get me out of these memories.

I was just about to leave when I suddenly heard a familiar voice.

"So when unni becomes a legal adult, we're going to give it to her then?"

"Mhm, it's a surprise gift so we're going to try and pester her as much as we can, okay?"

"Then Semi is going to poop on the floor! And then Yehwan oppa is going to clean it up."

"Good, good."

"Se-yoo hyung, you're so mean. Do you have to pull out a fake scene like that and make her feel bad?"

"Hey, think about what happened to me on my birthday."

Three familiar children were holding hands and walking down the street. The tallest of the three, Se-yoo, held a gift for someone. The gift was wrapped so I couldn't see what was inside.

Shocked, I stopped drawing the magic circle and stared as they walked closer and closer to my body.

"…….This can't be happening."

I wanted to stop my siblings from finding my body. I turned around and tried to move towards my siblings, but their roaming eyes were faster.

"Holy shit, that surprised me."

Se-yoo discovered the person on the ground first and covered his younger siblings' eyes.

"Hyung, why are you doing that?""Oppa, don't play around. It's not funny."

I could hear our siblings jeer, but Se-yoo frowned and looked towards the person on the ground. He scrunched his eyes as if he couldn't see it well.

"Hey, kids. Your hyung suddenly wants to get some ice cream. Do you want to go home first? I'll buy some. Whoever gets home the fastest through the opposite road over there gets two ice creams."

When Se-yoo tried to send off the kids home first with a promise of a prize, Yehwan and Semi both agreed and began running home to get there first.

Se-yoo checked to see that the kids were gone, then took out his phone and immediately called the police.

"I reported it, so I should buy some ice cream and head home."

Thankfully, Se-yoo didn't check my body. He immediately turned around towards the supermarket.

"She should be done with her part-time job now, right?"

Se-yoo muttered as he took out his phone from his pocket again. Then, he dialed a number and called someone. Se-yoo's phone screen had 'Eldest sister' as the phone rang.

"Han Ye-an, you ass. Twenty years old? Ugh, gross."

Se-yoo shivered overdramatically with his phone at his ear. He held up a small box in his hand.

He opened the box to reveal a rose-shaped badge within it.

"When I was lost and wandering, I must've hurt her feelings a lot. What a good sister, though."

Se-yoo smiled bitterly as he fiddled with the badge. He put the lid back on and put it in his pocket.

"I hope there's only happiness coming out way now. For us, all of us."

Se-yoo slowly walked as he blew out a warm gust of air. My heart hurt at Se-yoo's lone muttering. I needed to leave right now, but my hand refused to listen.

He was waiting for my response, but I didn't get the phone immediately.

When I didn't answer the call, Se-yoo tilted his head in confusion and redialed the number and called again.

[Riiiiiiing………..Riiiiiiiing…….]

When Se-yoo called, my basic ringtone ran from right behind him. Se-yoo frowned when he heard the ringtone. He thought it was someone else's phone that was ringing, but the phone behind him seemed to ring only when he called.

Se-yoo thought that something was weird. He turned around to look towards where the phone was ringing.

His eyes were met with a cold, dead body, and that was when Se-yoo realized that something was very wrong.

The phone continued to ring from the pocket of someone lying on the ground, their gifts for their siblings all strewn on the ground.

The broken screen had tiny little black and red lines littered along the screen. Even then, the 'Han Se-butt' on the screen was crystal clear.

"Han Ye-an!"

Se-yoo hugged my body in his arms. He yelled so loudly that I felt like he would pass out right then and there.

I couldn't bear to see what happened after. I left the memory.

I placed a towel in a bowl of cold water, then placed the wet towel on my face.

Whenever I breathed, the towel moved in and out, following my breathing motions.

Hazel, who had come back to the dorms after a long time, watched what I was doing and laughed. I laughed lifelessly with her.

The towel was cold, but my eyes were warm.

Calm down, everything already passed. It's all in the past.

I couldn't breathe properly, so I choked for a few moments, then. Then I cried.

I didn't want to drag my feelings down with something that happened such a long time ago. I tried to forget it as much as I could.

Too much time had passed. I didn't want to bring that topic back up. It didn't feel right for me to burst into tears and cry about how sad it was that I died and how much I missed my younger siblings.

I decided not to look at what happened after I died.

I had used black magic too often, which left me exhausted. I also didn't have to courage to see what had happened to my younger siblings after that had happened. I wanted to check so badly to see if they were doing well, but my fears were stronger. I avoided it.

I tried not to show it as much as I could, but I guessed that it was inevitable that I looked depressed. When I looked at my reflection on the window, my shoulders were drooping and I looked exhausted. Other students patted my shoulder and asked me if I was okay, so I forced my mouth to curve into a smile and reassured them.

Anyway, being sad aside, the reason why I checked my memories was because I was worried about the 'last page' of the book.

The scene where Hestia went up the Augran mountain.

Even though I had looked through my past life, I felt like I didn't gain too much out of it.

The only gain that I had with all of that was that I had come to this world based on someone's plans.

There were a few other things I had questions about other than that, but that was the only thing I was sure of.

I needed to get some more information, so I headed to Yves, who was the most knowledgeable about the current state of the empire.

Yves often worked in the quiet pavilion within the school. When I headed over there assuming he would be there, Yves was leaning on one of the pillars as he looked through some documents. Just as expected.

When I headed towards Yves, he put down what he had been holding and turned his body towards me. He seemed to notice that my mood wasn't great recently and was a lot more careful with his actions.

He didn't hug me as soon as he saw me. Instead, he took a step back and stared at me before sweeping his hand across my forehead and my hair.

Then, he pulled me towards his side and sat me down before disappearing somewhere. He came back and handed me chicken skewers. I had no idea where he got it from, though.

We sat on a high hill near the garden stairs as we stared at the fountain. Yves put his hand on my head and gently pat my head. With his head still facing forwards, he asked me if there was a reason why I was so gloomy.

Then, he asked me if there was anyone who put me in a bad mood. At his words, I paused to think before shaking my head.

My head felt like it was overheating, so I brought up another heavy, complicated topic to try and focus on something else.

"Yves, what do you think about the current state of the Orde Empire, based on your insight?"

When I changed the topic to the subject I had been curious about, Yves looked taken aback. It must've felt like it had come out of nowhere.

Yves narrowed his eyes and stared a hole into my face. Then, he gave me a genuine response to my question.

"Exactly what do you mean by the current state?""Just, the general atmosphere."

At my question about the atmosphere, Yves asked if I was asking because of a school assignment.

When I poked him a few times with my finger to stop digging and just answer my question, Yves bit the finger that I had poked him with. When I, surprised, flung my finger back towards me, Yves put his arms across his chest and answered my question.

"I'm not too sure about before, but it's become really peaceful recently."

"Really?"

While I had been quietly attending the academy, all of the dangers had seemingly passed. There had been a crisis that almost led to our destruction, a battle for the throne, and all of them had apparently resolved themselves without a hitch.

When I read the newspapers and listened to the professors' conversations, the empire was enjoying a peaceful time. Based on the contents of the books, the Augran mountain's monsters should've grown more aggressive and should've come down to attack people. All of the successors that represented the nobles should've lost their minds to try and get their hands on the throne. But just like what Yves said, everything was settled.

All of the monsters that had been riled up and ready to attack during the end of junior year seemed to be calm, and Hylli was next in line for the throne and there was peace within the palace.

All of my friends, who should've gone completely off the deep end, were relaxed and playing chess and stuff. I was just back from a round.

It was a time of complete peace. It was strange.

"Why are you asking all of a sudden?""Could there be an incident that wipes out the empire all at once?"

Yves huffed out a laugh at my question. Then, he frowned and quietly muttered, "That could've been the case." to himself.

When he turned back to face me, the frown was gone.

"….there shouldn't be anything currently?"

Yvnes said after a beat of silence. He scratched his cheek slightly.

Could've been before. Yves stared at the ground for and stayed quiet for a while. He seemed deep in thought about something before shaking his head.

"Mm, it's all done. There are a lot of trivial problems, but the big problem that you're worried about won't happen."

Yves' words held a ring of truth to it. There had been a time when danger seemed to be in the horizon before it disappeared from some point onwards. Even though the conclusion of the book had been written that way, the current situation was very different from the situation in the book. I decided to accept the facts as they were, even if I wasn't too pleased with it.

It wasn't the satisfying, assuring information that I had wanted, but this was plenty.

Once I finished organizing my thoughts, I stood and jumped down from my seat next to Yves.

My brain was filled with information. I had a sudden urge to head to the club room and check the monster village.

When I tried to head out, Yves stared at me before grabbing my arm.

"Shushu."

"Why?"

I raised an eyebrow at the sudden request to play.

Then, I soon figured out his intentions. Yves' smile held a bit of concern towards me. I was touched at his concern.

"I regret the time I lost with you because of Eric, so I need my fill."

Yves' relaxed, silver eyes opened into a small smile.

I stared at Yves, who had dragged me close and whispered all of this in my ear. I rolled my eyes thoughtfully for a while before nodding slightly.

Sure, go ahead.

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