How To Survive as a Villain

Xiao YuAn was shivering while he was taking a bath in the river under the cool night, and illuminated only by the moonlight, the water turned even colder. Xiao YuAn was in a hurry to rub himself clean, stirring the water from the bottom of the river. Then, he half-walked, half-swam towards the shore, where he had put his clean clothes; only to find a monkey playing around with his clothes.

Xiao YuAn threw a small stone next to the monkey, trying to scare it away: “My clothes aren’t food, so why are you so curious about them?”

The monkey was startled at this, and he bared his teeth while screeching at Xiao YuAn. Then he picked up one of Xiao YuAn’s shoes and threw it towards the river with force.

“Hey!” Xiao YuAn shouted and turned around to catch the shoe mid-air; but in the end, he couldn’t catch it, and the shoe floated away.

That monkey was still on the shore, making threatening screams at Xiao YuAn: “You’re mean, really mean, but you can’t be evil.”

‘Without a shoe, would it be difficult to jump back to the barracks on one foot?’ Xiao YuAn walked up the shore with a headache and reached for his clothes. However, the monkey unexpectedly picked up the clothes on the ground and ran away, screaming all the way into the woods.

Xiao YuAn was stunned for a full second, and when he reacted, he wanted to chase after the monkey: “Hey! Stop!!”

At that moment, he saw that a man was approaching this place, and Xiao YuAn immediately thought that it might be a soldier who came to take a bath in the river. Instantly, Xiao YuAn didn’t care about the monkey anymore, turned his head around, and jumped back into the river.

Yan HeQing: “……”

Xiao YuAn got out of the river and wiped off the water on his face: “Yan-ge! A monkey stole my clothes! Quick, quickly help me chase after it!”

Yan HeQing looked at the direction he pointed, but after a while passed, he didn’t see any monkey around.

At that, Xiao YuAn submerged himself in the river, hoping that he would drown due to the embarrassment.

Yan HeQing leaned over the river and stretched out his hand: “Come up, the water is cold.”

Xiao YuAn came to the surface of the water again, spat out a mouthful of water, and said: “I’m not wearing any clothes, and I don’t have any clothes to wear.”

Yan HeQing coughed lightly, took off his outer robe, and handed it to him. Then he said: “You can wear this for now. Now, come out.”

Xiao YuAn hesitantly walked up the shore, took Yan HeQing’s outer robe, and quickly put it on, then hurriedly walked towards the barracks: “Let’s g-go back to find clothes, it’s cold.”

Yan HeQing, with a few steps, caught up with Xiao YuAn and picked him up: “There’s no need to rush back. Besides, you don’t have any shoes. If you go back like this, you’ll hurt your feet.”

For a moment, Xiao YuAn unconsciously reached out and hugged Yan HeQing’s neck to prevent himself from falling. When he came back to reality, he found that he was thinking too much, and Yan HeQing was walking like a flying, stable and steady horse.

Xiao YuAn couldn’t help but say: “Yan-ge, I’m a full grown man, so if I hug you like this, wouldn’t that make you lose face? Even though you’re really cool, this is still about saving face, wouldn’t it be better to carry me on your back?”

Yan HeQing replied: “You’re not wearing any pants, I can’t carry you like that.”

Xiao YuAn: “Oh alright, alright…. yes, that’s reasonable. I suddenly miss my own body, because even though you’ll still be able to lift me, at least I can make you stumble a little.”

At that moment, Xiao YuAn inexplicably remembered the Prince of the Western Shu Kingdom, who looked exactly like himself in his past life, and immediately shook his head.

Yan HeQing glanced at him and asked him: “Are you feeling cold?”

“Huh? What?” Xiao YuAn came back to his senses and said: “Cold? Ah, I seem to feel a little bit cold.”

When he came out of the river, Xiao YuAn didn’t dry off his body. Unexpectedly, Yan HeQing’s outer robe, which was wrapped around Xiao YuAn, wasn’t soaked; but since the outer robe couldn’t cover his entire body, he could still feel a little chill run through his body.

Without saying a word, Yan HeQing hugged Xiao YuAn tightly, and started to walk faster towards the barracks. When the patrolling soldiers saw the Emperor hugging an almost naked boy, dressed only in a thin robe, they were so surprised that their long spears fell to the ground.

Xiao YuAn looked at the sky and then at the ground, coughed two times, and shouted at them: “I went to take a bath and a monkey stole my clothes! What are you looking at? Me being held? What’s wrong with being held like this? This only shows that your Emperor is very kind towards other people’s circumstances, am I right? Did you know that your Emperor adheres to the leadership method, and working policy, of ‘From the masses, to the masses¹’? Don’t think of strange things only because you’re still young.”

The young soldiers were characterized as being selectively deaf and blind, but they still couldn’t help roaring inside their minds: ‘Who the hell would believe you!!’

Bad monkey!! 😂😂😂😂

Ah XYA, you’re really deceiving yourself with “this is not what you think!” 😂Y

YHQ is just enjoying the view (and carrying a butt naked XYA 👀)

Footnotes

1. 从群众中来，到群众中去 cóng qún zhòng zhōng lái, dào qún zhòng zhōng qù; It’s the leadership and working method of the mass line of the Communist Party of China. This method of leadership and method of work, is based on the mass view of historical materialism, and at the same time, is the concrete application of dialectical materialist epistemology in practical work.

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