How To Survive as a Villain

Xiao YuAn stumbled and almost fell on the spot: “Auntie Ma! You can eat rice indiscriminately, but you can’t speak nonsense¹!”

Aunt Ma didn’t use her handkerchief, but directly used her giant palm to smack Xiao YuAn: “Are you still trying to pretend with Auntie? Ah? Still pretending? When I said that I wanted to act as a matchmaker for him just now, you were the one who started to make a fuss about it! Why did you stop me so quickly, when I was trying to find a good match for this Gongzi just now? The smell of vinegar² is so strong that I could still smell it three streets from here, and you’re still trying to pretend with me? Moreover, little devil, you still have the nerve to ask for a match for yourself, when this one clearly loves you, and has to keep the taste of vinegar hidden inside him. You just want to act tough, aren’t you?”

Yan HeQing reached out his hand to stop Aunt Ma, putting his arm around Xiao YuAn to protect him from a slap, and receiving it himself.

“Whoops.” Aunt Ma, who had hit the wrong person, quickly withdrew her hand. Then she looked at Yan HeQing and smiled: “Oh my, is this heartache? I know, I’ll stop hitting him, and don’t worry, I don’t have a heavy hand.”

Yan HeQing nodded his head, not denying her words.

Aunt Ma was very satisfied with Yan HeQing, she poked her finger at Xiao YuAn’s forehead: “You see, he’s angry, so you need to be nicer. If you don’t coax him right away, you’ll be damned.”

Aunt Ma, after finishing her speech, poked Xiao YuAn’s waist in a meaningful way. After saying her goodbyes, she walked away.

Xiao YuAn: “…..”

‘Auntie, you have to wake up!!! He’s a straight man!!! The kind that has a harem!!! He’s the kind of straight man that will torture the male villain to death, and would push down the female villain!!!’

Right now, Xiao YuAn wished that he had a copy of “The History of the Four Kingdoms” in hand, just so that he could give it to Aunt Ma and she could read with her own eyes how Yan HeQing treated the villains differently depending on their genders.

After saying goodbye to Aunt Ma, Xiao YuAn coughed uncomfortably to clear his throat. He then looked at Yan HeQing and said: “The neighbors in the countryside are very straightforward, so don’t get offended-….”

Yan HeQing looked at him with a bland expression and said: “Why should I get offended?”

Xiao YuAn was stunned, and then he lamented in his mind: ‘He’s really worthy of being the Male Lead, he’s unmoved either by gain or loss³!’

When they walked into the medical shop, Zhang Changsong was treating patients in the front hall, so he didn’t have the time to greet them. He let Xiao YuAn go and grab the medicine himself. Xiao YuAn took the small scale on the counter, and picked up the medicine. Meanwhile, Yan HeQing was watching him and asked: “Did you study medicine in your previous life?”

“Huh? No.” Xiao YuAn paused for a brief moment, and then continued: “This is what I learned after coming to Taoyuan Village. I’m not able to treat all difficult diseases for the moment, but I’m good with small pains and fever.”

“Hmmm.” Yan HeQing responded, and then added: “That’s great.”

Xiao YuAn wrapped up the medicine and tied the hemp rope. Then he took a look at the front hall, and saw that Zhang Changsong wasn’t paying attention to them. Smilingly, he took out the dried hawthorn and mulberry from the medicine cabinet, and handed them to Yan HeQing. When he saw that he was puzzled and wanted to question him, Xiao YuAn smiled, hushed him, and winked at him; then he put the two dried fruits inside his mouth.

When he saw that Yan HeQing was still in a daze, Xiao YuAn gestured to him to eat, so Yan HeQing nodded and put the small dried fruits inside his mouth.

The sourness and sweetness filled his mouth, it was neither astringent nor bitter. Xiao YuAn then asked Yan HeQing with a smile: “Does it taste delicious?”

Yan HeQing nodded his head, as he saw how Xiao YuAn smiled at him from ear to ear.

“Xiao YuAn!!! That’s a medicinal herb, not a candied fruit! Are you stealing again?!” A flying medical book followed Zhang Changsong’s roar, which was firmly caught by Xiao YuAn, and placed on the cabinet right after. Then, he quickly picked up the medicine and dragged Yan HeQing outside, laughing out loud as they ran away from the medical shop.

Aunt Ma is a wise woman! And our XYA, this little devil, is still so blinded by the “straight stereotype” YHQ was on the original book.

Jsjsjsjsj XYA stealing medicinal fruits with YHQ xDDDD idk why but that’s adorable ❤❤

Footnotes

1. 这饭可以乱吃，话不能乱讲 zhè fàn kě yǐ luàn chī, huà bù néng luàn jiǎng; It’s a saying. It means that you must be careful when you speak. You can’t say unfounded words, otherwise, you will hurt others and cause yourself trouble.
2. 吃味 chī wèi; Jealousy.
3. 宠辱不惊 chǒng rǔ bù jīng; It’s a Chinese idiom, it means that a person doesn’t care if they’re being favored or humiliated, and they’re not moved by personal gain or loss. From《在怀县》(zài huái xiàn), “In Huai County”, written by (潘岳 pān yuè) Pan Yue [247-300], a famous writer from the Western Jin Dynasty [265-316].

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