How To Raise Your Regressor

Needless to say, the 'power' (for which I should think of a good name because just 'power' is a bit too bland and lazy) I gave Dora wouldn't turn her into a God immediately.

I mean, imagine you're a wee little lad playing with the wee little lass of your dreams. It's hot outside so both of you as well as your other friends are playing around in a pool, splashing water at each other.

Just then, a bigger child comes and pushes your crush with whom you want to have some sinful premarital handholding.

You are angry, obviously. But before you can fight for her and show her your cool side, she quickly stands and angrily splashes some water at the big guy.

Feisty! But that's exactly why you like her. However, instead of getting wet, the big guy, along with the entire city behind him, are blasted away into oblivion.

Like, seriously, the force of the blast was so strong that you thought that it was the end of the world.

Your crush then turns around, tilts her head with a cute smile, "Tehe~ He won't disturb us ever again", and proudly declares.

That would be a massive yikes.

But also an alpha chad move.

Anyway, Dora should unlock her power in stages, with each stage giving her strength, skills and knowledge that she can easily and safely handle.

Of course, the unlocking process is dynamic; if the system determines that she can't handle what she's been given, the power will unlock slowly and in smaller chunks. The vice versa is also true.

So, technically speaking, she could become a God in the next second, but it's also possible that she'll amount to nothing and die without being able to protect anything.

It depends on her, to be honest. Let's just hope she can entertain me.

Right now, she should have the strength to fight strong adults head-on, along with martial skills and knowledge to outmanoeuvre and safely dismantle them.

Of course, the power I gave her doesn't include fighting experience, maturity and other such mental skills required to be the perfect killing machine, so how she utilises her current power is totally up to her.

Anyway, after the gift giving session ended, we moved on to the as expected subpar dinner.

This just reminded me to hire Neia as my minimum wage chef; what's the point of eating if the food doesn't kill your tongue in 47 different ways, amirite?

If Dora was an adult, then we could have gotten drunk and shared our embarrassing life stories with each other, but unfortunately she wasn't, so we had to end this party here.

"See you later," Jennifer said while hugging Dora at the doorway.

"Will you come tomorrow?" Dora asked emotionally.

"Hmm, no, I don't think I will."

"You have to come tomorrow!"

What a spoiled child.

"I'll try my best…" Jennifer smiled.

"…Liar." Dora's eyes drooped.

How pathetic of a liar must you be that even a single-digit-age old lass knows you're lying? Wow.

"Hey, hey, I'll try my best, okay?" Jennifer patted her head.

"You always say that," Dora pouted.

"Alriiiiight," Jennifer pulled her niece out of her embrace and looked into her eyes with a warm smile. "I'll come tomorrow. Okay?"

"Really?" Dora's face lit up.

"Mmhm. We'll also go to the city."

"Really? Really?!"

"Yup. We'll go shopping, eat at restaurants, and watch the opera. We'll do everything you want. It'll be fun!"

"Yayy!" A wide grin blossomed on Dora's face and she hugged Jennifer tightly.

"Alright then I'll see you tomorrow."

"Un!" Dora nodded enthusiastically.

"Don't stay up late, okay? You don't want to be sleepy tomorrow, do you?"

"I know, I know," Dora giggled.

"Good girl," Jennifer smiled lovingly and stood up. "Good night."

"Bye bye!" Dora enthusiastically waved her hand. "Bye Samur!"

"See ya later, alligator."

"I'm not an alligator, silly," Dora laughed.

Huh, she doesn't even know that that phrase is one of the most common ways of saying farewell? Her education's severely lacking.

And so, we turned around and left the house.

"Bye bye! Don't forget your promise!" Dora shouted from behind as we took off in the sky.

What an energetic child. I definitely won't be meeting her until she becomes a God and does something batshit crazy to protect her Aunt.

Of course, that's assuming that the plans I made to commit suicide with extra steps fails, which I doubt it will.

…It shouldn't, right?

Everyone around me is a dumb motherfucker, so I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it bombed harder than fat boy.

No, no, let's not raise flags for myself. Think positive things.

Should I drink coffee or chocolate shake when I get back? Or should I just down a bottle or two of Black label and get absolutely wasted?

I'm 13 years old now (debatable because we don't know my actual bday date, but let's roll with it) which means I'm an adult. It's time to develop severe alcoholism.

"Did you enjoy the party?" The dodgy guild leader flying beside me asked.

Because we were not in a hurry as we were only returning to the guild house, we were flying at a leisurely pace.

"Can't say."

The only slightly amusing part was when I gave Dora the power; the other moments were just so-so.

"Which means you did enjoy yourself," Jennifer grinned obnoxiously.

"You are free to think of it however you want."

Who am I to argue with a fucking dumbass? If she wants to believe that I enjoyed myself, so be it. At least, it'll stop her from taking me to every single party until I 'enjoy' myself.

Fucking asshole.

"Oh, come on, just admit it already!"

What the fuck?

"Why are you so obsessed with making me enjoy myself?"

Let's spread open the ass cheeks and dive into the pile of shit that is her reason for harassing me so much.

Once I know why she's doing it, it'll be easy make her stay the fuck away from me.

"Azell asked me to keep an eye on you, and Noelle asked me to make sure you enjoy your time here. I'm just keeping up my end of the deal."

Of fucking course, it's those two motherfuckers again.

Like, seriously, what the fuck? I thought that the prank I pulled at Noelle during the unveiling of the Elixir should have been enough for her to keep her distance from me, if not outright hate me, yet here she is, messing with my life due to her so-called compassion.

Looks like I need to pull an even more epic prank on those two fucking idiots to get them off my back.

"I doubt that's all."

Maybe it is, but it wouldn't hurt to make sure, would it? I need all the information I can get to finesse these fuckers once and for all.

"Well, maybe because you remind me of Dora?"

Wat.

"How in all that is holy do I remind you of her?"

"I dunno, maybe the fact that you're both small?"

She's body shaming me now? Time to get her cancelled.

Cancelled from life.

"Alright then, Aunt Jennifer."

"Hey! Only Dora is allowed to call me Aunt!"

"Then you are not allowed to compare me to Dora. That's the law of equivalent exchange."

Dumbass.

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