How To Raise Your Regressor

What followed the little display of authority were the typical activities that one gets to see on birthdays.

Well, 'typical' in the sense of what an average middle class family on earth does on birthdays. I have seen people commit mass murder on their birthdays so yea. Not typical.

After Mrs. Miller wiped off the fallen piece of cake, Dora cut a new one and fed it to the Millers, then to Jennifer.

Of course, as is typical of a slice of life story with themes of love and redemption, Dora was more enthusiastic when presenting the little cake piece in her little hands to Jennifer.

"Aaaa~" She posed like she was feeding a little baby.

Jennifer IS a little bitch boy so 100 points for accuracy.

"Aaaa~" Jennifer seemed more than happy to play along and opened her mouth wide to take in the cake.

However, just before she could bite the piece of cake, Dora pulled her hand back and Jennifer chomped at thin air.

"Hehehe," she giggled like a little child (which she is) while Jennifer squinted in mischief and she followed the cake around.

They played around that for a little while until Jennifer cheated and directly assaulted Dora.

How greedy of a pig must one be to directly attack a little child just for a piece of cake? Disgusting.

"Hahahahha, Aunt it tickles!" Dora managed to complain between her laughter.

Of course, tickling=third degree assault. I demand that she be given the death sentence, your honour!

Jennifer stopped tickling, seated Dora on her lap and hugged her, while the latter fed her the cake.

Damn, just their smiles are enough to give me diabetes.

Let's hope this country has universal subsidised healthcare so that I don't go into debt just to get my insulin shots.

Just kidding, I'll obviously sue Jennifer and scam Azell to get my insulin money. Or maybe cure my diabetes. Depends on my mood, tbh.

Jokes aside, Jennifer really does love this kiddo a lot, doesn't she? It should be safe to assume that there's nothing she wouldn't do for her cute niece.

I daresay that if massacring every single living being on this world is what it took to save Dora, Jennifer wouldn't hesitate to do so.

No wonder she's so cautious and hiding their relationship so thoroughly.

Maybe that's why they can peacefully enjoy their time together right now.

Would be a shame if something happened to disrupt their peaceful time together, wouldn't it?

Hmm? Did I just raise a flag?

​ Yes. Yes, I did.

As I always say, anything for entertainment.

Besides, identifying a red flag that already exists is way different than raising a flag that leads to chaos, so I'm innocent here.

Anyway, we digress.

After Jennifer, the only one left was me. And of course, ya boi refused to take a bite directly from her hands. I just directly gobbled the entire cake in a single gulp.

Just kidding, that would obviously be too much for me to take in, not to mention pretty tactless on my part.

I just swallowed 1/4th of it.

"Woah!" The bday girl was pretty excited when she saw me unhinge my jaw like an anaconda and swallow a big ass piece of cake, so it's all kosher.

After that, the Millers put on some banger music (surprisingly) and we all danced a bit to it. Then there were some simple games, like cards and some board games.

"What the fuck… How is this possible?" The cards fell from Jennifer's hands.

Needless to say, I absolutely destroyed everyone.

"Language, Ms. Jennifer."

Noob.

"Fuck…" Dora murmured to herself.

See? Never swear in front of kids, unless you're prepared to hear the vilest curse you've ever heard in your entire life from a toddler's mouth.

Little kids are scary, I tell ya.

After getting their asses handed to them, the pathetic adults decided to have dinner because they couldn't handle the humiliation of facing defeat at the hands of a 13-year-old.

Hmmm, aren't we forgetting something?

"Before that, aren't we forgetting something?"

Wat? Is this dodgy guild leader an Esper?

Does that mean she's been listening to every single thing that I've been thinking about?

Bruh.

First of all, how dare she invade my privacy like that? Second, holy shit.

That's fucking… awesome!

If this doesn't make her kill me, I don't know what will.

"What?" Mrs. Miller tilted her head a bit.

"Dora's birthday present, obviously!"

Exactly. What's the point of a bday party if you aren't giving presents to the bday gurl?

"Presents!" Dora hopped while clapping her hands.

"For you, I have…" Jennifer raised her empty palm in front of Dora's face, "this!"

A neatly wrapped gift box appeared on her hand.

"Oooh!" Dora exclaimed as she got the box from Jennifer. "Can I open it?"

"Of course, it's yours," Jennifer had a warm smile on her face.

Dora quickly unwrapped the gift only to find a small bracelet inside.

Huh, if I'm not wrong, the chain of the bracelet is made of Adamantite, or whatever's the name of the strongest magic metal in this world, isn't it?

And that crimson stone is the naturally crystallised soul of an Ancient Dragon, able to hold in up to 5 basic, 3 intermediate and 1 advanced spells, which can not only be programmed to automatically trigger those spells in certain conditions, but also cast these spells repeatedly without delay as long as there's mana in the surroundings.

Holy shit, Jennifer's going all out. That bracelet could pay for the entire military budget of the USA and more, and she's giving it away just like that.

This woman's reech as fuck.

"So pretty…." Dora admired the beautiful bracelet without knowing about its actual cost.

"Try it out."

"Un," Dora nodded and put on the bracelet.

"It looks good on you," Jennifer nodded in satisfaction.

I think it's safe to assume that Jennifer loves this child more than anything else in that world. Because if not, just to get a return of investment of 1, Dora would have to be a child of a god with the potential to take her parent's position within the next 20 years.

Needless to say, Dora doesn't have that kind of potential. As a matter of fact, as far as the development of her physical and supernatural activities is concerned, her potential is only slightly above average.

Although Jennifer would be able to stimulate and improve that potential using her immense wealth (fucking whales, I tell ya), it would only be enough to make Dora a reasonably strong person, probably in the top 20% of this world.

Anyway, next was, of course, the Millers' turn. And what they presented her was a simple, good looking locket with a family photo inside.

Giving her a picture of them to her on her own birthday; what fucking narcissists.

Now then.

Jennifer and the Millers gave bday gifts to Dora, while the girl in question, as the bday girl, obviously wouldn't gift herself. So by the process of elimination, it was my turn.

But I didn't prepare anything for her because I forgot about it.

What a blunder!

"What would you like as a present, Dora?"

Let's ask the smol gurl herself.

"Umm…" She tilted her child with her finger on her chin.

"Ask for anything."

"Anything?" Her eyes widened slightly with a certain sparkle shining within.

"Anything. I'll give it to you, no matter how absurd it may seem."

I'm the motherfucking origin after all. Granting a little child's wish as a birthday present would be more than easy.

"Then… I want to be as strong as Aunt Jennifer."

Oh my.

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