How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis

Chapter 25: Let's Get Salty

Salt. Holy shit. For one chob, wed got a small bag of salt that would last us weeks. One pinch was enough to season a plate of food. You can keep your crack cocaine and your black tar heroin. That nights rabbit stew blew our minds.

After we ate it became clear the other groups had moved on. Levelled up. Cleared the final boss. Found a way to Stage 2. Who knows? They were gone and we were still here.

We threw some extra logs on the fire just for the hell of it and considered our next move.

From tomorrow, I said, were really going to have to start grinding those rabbits.

Ugh! said Flossie. Why?

No, I said. What I means is, we have to kill a lot more and as quickly as possible. Its going to be a grind, like how a boring job is a grind, but its the best way for us to make money without too many risks. Once we can afford better equipment, we can think about hunting more rewarding beasts.

They all nodded knowingly. Two days in and they were all veterans. Sadly, rabbits were not going to prepare us for the things waiting out there. Apparently, that was my job.

Were definitely getting better, but were still too slow and too hesitant. We need to be merciless with those rabbits, and with anything else we might run into. So far weve been lucky. We havent encountered any monsters, but that can change any minute. We need to be prepared.

Nods all round again. I guess it was better than them arguing with me about the rights of monsters to live a peaceful life, eating who they please.

Were still weak and our gear is unreliable. Getting good with weapons doesnt happen overnight. It takes months, years even. What we need is better teamwork. The way we got all those rabbits in the end wasnt with our super ninja skills, it was teamwork, right?

The nods were more enthusiastic. They were onboard with my message of mutual cooperation and positivity. Youre probably thinking, how wonderful. Finally theyre coming together and with the power of friendship these guys have a chance of making it. But then, sometimes what you think is happening, isnt whats actually happening.

We have to trust each other. Rely on each other. We cant get depressed and all self-doubty because were afraid others might not like us. There are no others here. Its just us, and none of us is perfect. Far from it. Which is why I think we should all just admit our fears, our weaknesses. If everybody knows what youre worried they might find out, what have you got to lose? Nothing, right?

They looked less sure with their nods this time. Their heads bobbed ambiguously, like maybe they were agreeing, maybe they got caught by a breeze.

Ill start. I tend to push people away. You might have noticed. I like to reject them before they reject me, because thats what usually happens, and it doesnt feel good. So I do it first and Im much happier that way. Or at least less unhappy. Of course, if someone really wants to be friends with me, theyll resist when I push them away. No one ever has. So thats me.

I looked expectantly at them, letting my gaze pass from one to the next. Nothing. No one spoke or looked like they were going to. I kept going.

Even you lot, I fully expect you to eventually to go off on your own once you feel a bit more confident. Which is fine, Ill just go back to being on my own. Im used to it.

Still nothing. I wondered how far Id have to go to get these guys to open up.

Then Claire said, I have a boyfriend back home. Everyone stared at her, but she was focused on the fire. Hes not very nice to me. In fact, hes a bastard. Tells me Im ugly, that no one else would have me, makes fun of me in front of his friends. Her voice started to break up a little. Sometimes I get upset with him, scream at him, tell him to fuck off. But I always take him back.

Why? I asked her.

She looked at me across the fire. Because hes right. And Id rather be with someone than no one.

Nobody said anything for a while.

I scratched my chin, the stubble reminding me I hadnt shaved, or brushed my teeth, or combed my hair in an age. Claire, I dont know what will happen to us, but I think I can guarantee that none of us will abandon you because of the way you look. There were murmurs of agreement from around the fire. Your personality, maybe, but not your loo

I ducked as a stick came hurtling at me.

Fuck you, said Claire, but there was laughter in her voice.

Oh, ah, erm, began Flossie. People think of me as happy because ahm always smiling and that. But the truth is people get me to do things for them, and never do anything for me in return. She laughed. Its kind of depressing really. Even my own family. I guess Im a bit of a doormat. She laughed again. It was a hollow, joyless laugh. The nicer I am, the more I do for them, the worse it gets. She smiled a sad-eyed smile. I dont know what else I can do to make them like me.

Claire put her arm around her and whispered something in Flossies ear which brought a slightly more genuine smile to her lips. I turned to Dudley. He immediately looked up at the sky. I was about to move on when he spoke.

Ive always been something of a disappointment to my parents. They sent me to the finest schools, bought me everything I could possibly want or need. And yet, Ive never been able to live up to their expectations. I just dont have it in me. I try, I really do, but my mind wanders, I lose track and before I know it, Ive failed again. I hope I dont let you down too.

Word of encouragement flew around the fire.

Im black, said Maurice. As revelations go, this one didnt come as a big shocker. But I dont like hip-hop and I consider R&B music to be the work of paedophiles.

Flossie raised her hand. Nobody had mentioned a Q and A segment, but Maurice gave her a nod.

Ah like R. Kelly, she said. Hes good.

Theres no point, said Maurice. Youre too old for him.

What about the Remix of Ignition? said Claire. I like that tune.

Flossie agreed.

Hot and fresh out the kitchen, threw in Dudley in his incredibly plummy voice.

Maurice looked over at me, somewhat baffled. I shrugged.

My point, continued Maurice, is that other black people have never accepted me. They think Im trying to be something Im not. Whereas actually theyre the ones trying to force me to pretend. And of course, white people arent keen to have someone on their turf either, so Im something of an outsider. I mean my parents have tried to reach out to me, but they dont know how to relate to me. Last Christmas my mother got me... He started to choke up. She got me a Maroon 5 CD. Pain flashed behind his eyes. She meant well. She meant well.

What kind of music do you like? I asked him, genuinely curious.

Oh, Rage Against The Machine, Nine Inch Nails, any quality rock really.

What the fuck?

Maurice, before you got transported here, when you were back on Earth, what year was it?

He pushed his glasses back up his face. 2016. Why?

Nothing. Just surprised you listen to those bands.

Timeless music is timeless, he said.

Each to his own, I guess. In any case, I had a better idea of who I was dealing with now. Of course, what I said about myself was utter horseshit. I didnt reject people because I thought theyd reject me. I could care less. Oh, youre thinking, poor guys in denial. Cant admit the truth. Maybe, but if I am in denial, then I have no idea if it is true (thats why its called denial) so either way, it isnt something I waste time getting worked up about. The only reason Id said it was to get the ball rolling. Now I knew their insecurities and weaknesses, it would be much easier to manipulate and control them.

Not that I intended to use the knowledge in a malicious way, but if I didnt get them into some kind of decent fighting force wed all be dead by the weekend, assuming the concept of weekends existed here. And if it didnt, Im sure Maurice would attempt to invent it.

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