Chapter 60 - Lie Down
Adeline wordlessly peered up at him. She was hesitant. There were so many things that could go wrong with telling the truth. But she wasn't in favor of telling lies, especially to her future husband. He was watching her with a hardened look, but she saw the sincerity behind it.
"I dreamt of my parents…" she confessed.
Adeline twiddled with her fingers, playing with them in hopes of distracting herself. She felt the stutter before it even came. She tried to suppress it, knowing her anxiety was the cause of it. If she just took a few deep breaths, it would be enough to clear her mind.
"A nightmare?" Elias asked.
Adeline nodded a bit.
"I see, darling."
Elias continued to caress the back of her head. His mother used to do the same thing to him as a child when he was on a rampage. It had been a long time since he had last seen her. She had killed herself shortly after discovering her own son could not love him, no matter what she did. And she was the cause of it.
"What was it about?" Elias pried without hesitation.
"T-the dream made me remember something unpleasant," Adeline stammered out.
Adeline instantly regretted her stutter and bit upon her tongue. She forced herself to breathe in deeply, even if it meant inhaling his scent. He smelled intoxicatingly beautiful, like pinecones during winter and citrus during summer.
"Oh?"
"I'd like to not talk about it, Elias."
"Why not?"
Adeline's head snapped up. Didn't he know a thing or two about boundaries? Seeing his careless smile and deep gaze, she received her answer. He was here just to stoke his own curiosity.
"I don't feel comfortable…"
"If it's something unpleasant, I can help you forget it," Elias said. Of course, only she would forget it, but he'd remember it well.
"And how can you help me forget it?" Adeline hesitatingly asked.
"You just have to trust me, my sweet," Elias mused.
Elias saw the flicker in her eyes. She was watching him even more now, with doubt and interest. For once, he saw the thoughts running through her mind. She wanted to know how and why he was going to erase her memories.
It wasn't difficult. Elias had done it before. In fact, he had done it multiple times when he attended the funeral for Kaline and Addison. Underneath a swaying willow tree, he had kneeled before Adeline and swept all of the bad memories from her. At that time, Elias did not know, he had also wiped his presence as well.
In the end, Elias had caused her amnesia. But why? He intended to erase all of the unwanted memories. As a child, did she view him as something unpleasant?
"O-okay…" Adeline finally responded.
Elias snapped back to reality, but with great dissatisfaction. This tiny woman on his lap was being caressed like a pet. But in the past, she viewed him as something horrid? Horrid enough for him to be a part of her bad memories?
"You're upset," Adeline noted in a somber voice. She touched his face, her fingers smoothing out the crease on his forehead.
Elias nearly scoffed in response. She was excellent at distracting him. A single touch was enough for his attention to be captured. Not wanting her caress anymore, he smoothed out his expression, changing it back to nonchalant arrogance.
Her eyes widened in surprise and she instantly dropped her hands, realizing her actions.
"I'm sorry for touching you," she said with great earnesty.
Elias could practically see her ears and tail droop in disappointment. He held back a sigh and shook his head.
"But you should apologize as well for always grabbing me," she added on.
Elias let out a scoff of disbelief. "You've never rejected my touches before."
Adeline gawked at him. "How can I reject it when you grip me so tightly?"
"By telling me to let you go," he deadpanned.
"And would you do it?" she mumbled.
"Probably," Elias responded. Would he? He had always honored consent. He wouldn't do anything if she felt uncomfortable.
"That doesn't sound very convincing…"
"Seems like a personal problem, my sweet," Elias said.
Elias laughed when she slapped him on the chest. Not a second later, she buried herself back into his arms. Most likely, she was hiding her glare and desire to hurt him. He was amused.
"Alright, alright, I'll stop teasing you for five minutes," Elias chortled. He grabbed her wrists and pulled her away from him. Sure enough, he saw her deep glower and sullen pout. She was sulking, and he was gloating.
"So," he said with a clear of his throat, hoping to sound more serious with her. But it was difficult to do so when his lips threatened to smile. She was very endearing, like a small animal.
Perhaps that was why Elias couldn't find it in himself to hurt her. Even a monster like him could not hurt something so delicate. But truthfully, he needed something to pass his time. Even if it was the girl who ran from him. Even if she was the child of liars who tried to deceive the King.
"The nightmare," he said with a cold voice.
"I don't want to forget it," she suddenly said.
Adeline meant it. As unpleasant as it was, she wanted to remember it. She needed to dig deeper and find out why. Why did her Father try to strangle her? Why did he seem so distraught? Was it truly because she was a daughter and not a son? Was it truly because of her birthday? What was the cause of it?
Did he have to hurt himself, just because he had hurt her?
"Sure," Elias vaguely responded. "Now, tell me."
Adeline began to explain it from the beginning. She spoke about her parents' arguing about her custody in case of their death. It was a strange conversation as if they knew their demise was looming in the corner. Then, she spoke of their purple faces from the poisoning, or perhaps, lack of oxygen in their body. And then, she spoke of the audacious truth.
"I might've been the cause of my parent's death," she said in a meek voice.
Adeline suddenly wanted to dig a hole and bury herself in it. Now that she had made this confession, she realized how harsh it was. What was he going to think of her? Surely, it wouldn't be pleasant thoughts.
"You had a rough night, darling," Elias finally said.
Adeline wryly nodded. It seemed he would not be divulging her story. Whether or not he saw her differently, it wouldn't change the way she felt about him. They would be together for no more than a year. That was all.
"I won't keep you up any longer, my sweet," Elias said. He slipped her off of his lap and placed her upon the bed.
Adeline sat there, dumbfounded and staring up at him. Suddenly, she was reminded of her guns, which were still strapped to her thigh. She could feel it pressing into her flesh, and wondered if he had felt it too. He must have.
"Do you view me in worse lighting than before?�� Adeline asked in a clear and strong voice. She needed to know the truth.
Elias peered down at her. His face was difficult to decipher. Cold, daunting eyes, thin, smooth lips, he was a whirlwind of mysteries. She wished to unravel each and every bit until there was none left.
"You're not the only child who has caused their parent's demise," Elias said in a frigid tone.
Adeline blinked. "Oh."
"Now sleep," Elias commanded in a softer voice, like feathers upon flesh.
"Will you leave then?" Adeline asked. She would prefer if he wasn't watching her sleep in the corner of her room, like a creepy stalker.
Elias nonchalantly laughed. "I said it was a one-time occurrence. I won't be going back on my word."
Adeline hesitatingly nodded. She wanted to change out of this heavy dress, but couldn't. It would reveal the guns. She needed to hide them once he left the room.
"Then the door is right there," Adeline said, whilst pointing towards it.
"This is my castle. I know where the door is," Elias snorted. He tucked his hands into his pockets and glared at her.
"I won't leave until you lie down and sleep."
Adeline found it like he was obsessive about taking care of her. But she couldn't blame him. She was quite weak. It wasn't like that before.
A decade ago, she had her own voice, did as she pleased, and talked as she wished. No one controlled her. And without the reins of Aunt Eleanor, Adeline was slowly reverting to her previous self.
"Alright," she said.
Adeline slipped under the blankets and laid down on her back. She closed her eyes and hid her hands inside of the warm covers. It didn't take long for her to hear his retreating footsteps. It quietly echoed in her room, like the click of a trigger.
"Oh, and Adeline?"
She opened her eyes and turned her head towards the door. His lips curled into a slight smile.
"Happy birthday, darling."
Adeline rapidly blinked. She didn't think he knew. Before she could even smile, he was out of the door. Elias was gone.
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