Hero? I've Long Stopped Being One

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Volume 1 – Chapter 12: For The Love of Loli, We Fight!

After sending off Dong Xue'er, the atmosphere in the room turned gloomy for a period of time.

"I can't believe this kind of thing can happen." Xiao Zhan spoke, "In that case, we should be extra careful the next couple of days. Luckily I developed a device as a precaution for unexpected situations like this."

"What is this?" Glasses Bro asked curiously.

"All you need to do is wear it and press the button." Xiao Zhan put on the device as he spoke and pressed the button. An explosive stream of energy-filled music started playing. "This way you can become a BGM-man."

"So it's just a Walkman?" Glasses Bro asked. "How is this even useful?."

"Glasses Bro ah, you're still too young." Lin Jie spoke from the side. "Haven't you heard of the ancient saying: 'I'm invincible while my BGM is playing.' Because this device actually allows us to play BGM to our heart's desire, in a sense, it can be considered incredibly amazing."

"Amazing gadget your head! It's obvious both of you have already been brainwashed by comics! There's no denying it!" Glasses Bro exclaimed loudly.

At that moment, the small loli came over and tugged on Glasses Bro's pants. "Eh, where is the delicious food you promised?"

"Wait a bit and your big brother will take you to eat some delicious food." After saying that, Glasses Bro raised his head and looked at the two people. "What should we do with this kid?"

"At first, I wanted to get Miss Winter to look after her, but she said she was going to pretend to leave H-city, after all, she is currently under suspicion." Xiao Zhan said, "It seems like we'll have to take care of her."

"That's right, Thirteen was also investigating this for two years." Lin Jie suddenly said.

"I heard him talk about it. When he was small, he also grew up in the kind of illegal orphanage that conducts human experiments." Glasses Bro suddenly said, "It seems like both her and Thirteen have gone through the same ordeal, but she doesn't have Thirteen's luck."

"The same ordeal?" Xiao Zhan thoughtfully said, "It looks like Thirteen already predicted this sort of thing would happen. That piece of scum unexpectedly used a vacation as an excuse to hide, leaving a huge mess for us. I was wondering why he was in such a rush to leave yesterday."

"I don't think that's it. Thirteen probably was afraid of his bad luck affecting us, so for the sake of us putting all of our power into growing popular, he went into hiding." Lin Jie said, "I understand why he would do this kind of thing, if only he could give us his blessings from heaven."

"It's only the Heavenly Island alright?" Glasses Bro said.

"It's all the same." Lin Jie said, "Then that makes things simple. First, we bring the kid to eat something, and then call my sister to pick out some new clothes for her."

"You sure we should go out now? If we leave the Xiao's company building, we might encounter a dangerous situation." Glasses Bro said.

"What you scared for? In a public and open area, who would dare to brazenly kidnap her?" Lin Jie said, "But the more important thing is that we can't let this kid eat La Tiao anymore. I just found out that if she eats La Tiao, she'll freeze up and stare blankly into space."

"Alright."

……

"Tell me, what problem could you possibly have that you had to call me here while I was working?" Lin Wan said, "If it's not for anything serious, I just might beat you up."

"You'll understand if you come and see." Lin Jie said and brought Lin Wan into a fast food restaurant. He then pointed at a small loli currently eating a kid's meal. Xiao Zhan and Glasses Bro were both sitting at her side.

"Who is this little sister? Lin Wan said while sitting down with Lin Jie, next to the small loli.

"To be honest…" Lin Jie thought for a moment and said, "To be honest, she's my daughter."

"What?" Lin Wan was astonished as she said, "No matter how I look at her, this girl has to be at least 7 years old. At that time, you should've still been in high school."

"You remember when I was a delinquent? Well, actually, I knew a girl back then. She had been enamored by the delinquent me, and we soon fell into the river of love. Afterwards, because of our differing values, we broke up. I didn't know I was a father up until a few days ago when this child came to my side. At the same time, I found out that the reason she left me back then was because she had contracted a terminal illness. She decided to give birth to our child instead of taking the opportunity to get herself treated. So now I have decided to wholeheartedly fulfill my duty and responsibilities as a father." Lin Jie said very sorrowfully.

"Oh, your story wasn't bad. Tell me what actually happened." Lin Wan unenthusiastically replied.

"F*ck, it was so touching, but you actually don't believe me! How could you be so cold-blooded?" Lin Jie shouted.

Right at that moment, Lin Wan took out a mirror and stuck it into Lin Jie's hands. "Look at yourself, with that virgin male look, you could probably only attract blind girls."

At the side, Xiao Zhan and Glasses Bro were nodding their heads with all their might.

Lin Jie took the mirror and looked at himself. "I still look like a brilliant God of War? Where do I look like a virgin male?"

"Stop dallying around and tell me what actually happened. Also, why does she look so shabby?" Lin Wan looked towards the loli, who was still wearing one of Xiao Zhan's coats.

"The truth is, this child is currently being targeted by an organization." Glasses Bro rubbed his eyes and said, "We saved her from an organization that practices human experimentation, but they are looking for her to perform experiments."

"What?! That group of scum!" Lin Wan said in a furious tone, "Then tell me specifically what you want me to help you guys with."

"You also saw it. This child is an orphan with no one to rely on. She doesn't even have any decent looking clothes, so we want you to help her pick out a few pieces of clothing. You should also know that us three males are not good at this." Lin Jie said.

"This is easy to accomplish." Lin Wan said, "In a moment, after you finish eating, come with Big Sister. I guarantee that I will make you extremely pretty."

"Yes. Big Sis." The small loli raised her head in the direction of Lin Wan and let out a sweet smile. Lin Wan immediately overdosed on the moe cuteness of the little loli.

"So CUUUTTTEEEEE! In a short while, Big Sis will take you to buy some nice clothes." Lin Wan hugged the little loli while she spoke.

……

"Boss, they entered the shopping mall, At their side is an unknown woman." A male said, standing far away while looking at Lin Jie and company.

"Is that so? In a moment, go talk with them. If they cooperate then it's fine, but if they don't, teach those people a good lesson on how to conduct themselves." Another male said.

"Boss, I heard that Living Fright is a part of their team."

"Don't worry about him, that bastard is stuck on Heavenly Island. Who knows if he has ascended to heaven already." The man he called Boss replied.

If Lin Jie and company were to see these people, they would recognize them. These three were none other than the people who were bullying Glasses Bro in the Superhero Association, the Golden Triangle Superhero team.

……

At that moment, Lin Wan was pulling along the little loli who was, very happily, trying on all kinds of clothes.

Lin Jie and company were currently standing, waiting outside the store. There were many shopping women surrounding Xiao Zhan, pointing fingers and gesticulating.

"Isn't he the Filth Purifier Warrior?"

"Looks like it! It really is the Filth Purifier Warrior, I heard that no matter how dirty something is, he can easily clean it all up."

"Yeah! I heard from one of my sisters, after undergoing a 'cleansing' by him, she felt like she had gone to heaven."

"Really? Why don't we find him for some 'cleansing' as well?"

"Hmph! Even if I want to find him, I need to wait for when my husband is on a business trip and I'm alone."

"Tch, by then you won't even get a turn."

……

"Uh, my hero name is Zhan Chen." Xiao Zhan helplessly stood there and said.

"How incredible! You managed to capture the affections of so many young women in such a short amount of time!" Lin Jie said as he gave Xiao Zhan a thumbs up, "What do you think about changing your name to Mr. Wang From Next Door, specializing in helping lonesome wives and the like."^[1]

"You're incredible… in some strange areas." Glasses Bro said from the side, but his face turned dark the next moment due to seeing three people he didn't want to see at all.

Following his line of sight, Lin Jie and Xiao Zhan also saw the three people.

"Why don't you follow us and have a nice talk over there." The leader of the Golden Triangle said as he pointed towards the side of the shopping mall at an alley where nobody was around.

"Bastards! What do you guys want from us?" Glasses Bro said as he looked at the three.

"This is under the personal orders of the president." The leader of the Golden Triangle said as he took out the personal order, "It would be best if you could come with us for a trip."

"Alright, let's go then." Lin Jie said as he rushed in front of Glasses Bro.

……

The six people arrived at the deserted alley.

"I'll tell you all directly, we need you guys to come back to the hero association for investigations." The leader of the Golden Triangle said.

"Why do we need to be investigated?" Xiao Zhan asked.

"The association is currently looking for the Wintry WItch, and you guys met her before she fled H-city, so we have reason to believe that you guys were partners."

"What do you guys want with the child?" Glasses Bro suddenly asked.

"You have no right to speak here, you piece of trash." One of the little brossaid, "What we do with her is none of your business either."

"If you don't tell us what you want with her, we won't hand her over!" Glasses Bro was firm and unyielding as he declared, which was rare for him.

"He's right. She is part of a trail of clues we are investigating, so we can't hand her over to you for now." Xiao Zhan said from the side.

"He's not wrong." Glasses Bro said as he stepped forward.

"You all should first worry about yourselves!" The hand of the little bro that clamored before suddenly exploded with golden rays of light and ruthlessly swung towards Glasses Bro's face. "Since you don't want to cooperate, then don't blame us for your suffering!"

Just when his fist got close to Glasses Bro's face, a huge spiked club came swinging from the side. In the next moment, he felt like he had hit a wall.

"You want to steal our loli?" Lin Jie rested the spiked club on the ground, "You can try."

"It looks like you have a lot of confidence in your strength." The leader of the Golden Triangle sneered, "Today, I'll show you the difference in strength between D-level heroes like us, who number in the hundreds, and the countless E-level no-names like you.

Footnotes:

[1]Mr. Wang from next door/ Mr. Wang next door: Some already know but Mr. Wang next door basically means the guy next door who sleeping with your/someone’s wife. Also, Deceptioning calls him the milk man.

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