Heretical Fishing

Book 2: Chapter 92: Resounding Success

Beneath the sea of birds still milling over the capital city of Gormona, I trudged along with a smile on my face.

As I glanced back, I saw that my wares were still in order. It hadn’t taken long to find a cart big enough to carry all the still-unconscious cultivators. I’d removed all their collars and stacked them as comfortably as I could, making sure they all had room to breathe. Right at the front of the cart sat my prized passiona bushes, all three of them having large clumps of dirt still attached to their root systems.

Ahead of me, I heard the clanking of armor, and I let out a sigh.

Rather than change course, I just kept walking, too exhausted to really care.

“G’day,” I said as the guard came into view.

I expected fear, anger, or perhaps even a cry for backup. Instead, the morose guard simply stared at me and the cart now filled with uncollared cultivators. He was... relieved?

What in the frack…?

“What are you doing?” the guard asked, still not showing any fear.

“I’m taking these slaves somewhere safe, mate.” I replied, giving him an appraising look. “Is that a problem?”

“Slaves...?” He pursed his lips and looked closer at the cart. His hand drifted toward his sword’s handle. “You mean to enslave them?”

“Look, man—I don’t want trouble. I’m saving these guys, okay? The capital—”

A crack like continents colliding split the air. I whirled toward it, seeing an entire section of castle explode. The stones, some as large as a car, rained down across the forest. In their midst, something flew across the night sky.

Not something, I realized. Someone...

A man I didn’t recognize sailed through the debris, his eyes wide and pants nonexistent. He had to have been attacked by my pals, because he traveled at unbelievable speed. He shot through the first mountain, only coming to a stop when he slammed into the peak of a second one.

“Whoa...” the guard said. “What was that?”

“I must be getting tired,” I replied. “Because I could have sworn I just saw an old bloke flying through the air with his meat and two veg flapping in the breeze...”

“Did he have long gray hair and a longer beard?”

“He did. You know him?”

“The king,” the guard said.

I chuckled. “Sounds like the poor bloke met my friends. He...”

I whirled back to the mountain, my skin prickling. “Wait—the king is a cultivator?”

“Apparently,” the guard answered. “I only found out tonight.”

“Damn.” I scratched my chin. “That’s kinda fracked up, isn’t it? The bloke is a cultivator himself, but enslaves others?” I pointed back at my cart full of cultivators. “Talk about a dick move.”

“Fracked up?”

I waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it. Anyway, it was nice meeting you, but I gotta bounce. Probably best you don’t tell anyone you saw me, yeah? It actually works out if I’m seen, but they might get mad at you for not stopping me.”

I gave him a nod and made to walk on, but he stepped forward.

“Wait.”

I sighed. “Mate, it should be obvious that I’m a cultivator. I’m all for your loyalty, but I’d appreciate it if you just let me go.”

“It’s not that.” He clenched and unclenched his fists for a long moment before he raised his eyes to meet mine. “Can I come with you?”

Well, that was unexpected.

“You want to come with me?”

“Yes,” he answered, his eyes resolute.

“I don’t have an issue with it, but my friends might get a bit annoyed if I don’t ask you why.”

“Why...?” the guard repeated. He pointed at the stack of cultivators. “See the man with his hair tied up?”

“The one with dark brown, or the one with sandy blond hair?”

“Dark brown.”

“You know him?”

“He’s my little brother.”

“Oh. Oohhh! I get it. You’re, uh, okay with me taking their collars off and all that?”

The guard shrugged. “The king didn’t wear a collar. Why should they have to?”

I gave the guard a grin. “Finally, someone sane. What’s your name, mate?”

“Hey!” a voice yelled from down the street. “Return to your homes! The city is under attack!”

A woman came sprinting into view, trailed closely by four others with gleaming collars around their necks. The cultivators’ eyes were wide as they scanned the sky above, tracking individual seagulls.

Unlike the cultivators, their handler was covered in sweat.

“What are you doing moving wares around while the capital is...” She trailed off when she caught sight of my cart’s contents. “A-Attack!” she screamed, clearly recognising the cultivators within.

The order made the collared tear their eyes from the gulls above. When they saw their unconscious peers, there was a brief moment of silence. All four of them blinked, their enhanced minds struggling to reconcile the sight.

Then, chi poured from their cores.

I dashed forward and slipped around the guard, placing myself between him and the attacks that would tear through the street in less than a second. There was a brief moment of quiet like the calm before a storm as the cultivators drew from their chi reserves.

A whistling sound broke the silence, and I glanced up at the sky, unable to contain my joy.

A small form shot headfirst toward the ground. Covered in brown fur, the creature shaped herself like a missile as she rocketed downward. Lightning wreathed Corporal Claws’s entire body, and small jolts arced between each of her dagger-sharp teeth as she closed the distance.

She trilled her glee for all to hear, and before the cultivators knew what was happening, she was among them.

Electricity gathered in the clouds above. I raised an eyebrow, not understanding why chi was gathering there. The seagulls, their senses apparently more keen than the cultivators surrounding Claws, fled the area.

Booom!

A bolt of lightning tore down from the clouds. It connected with Claws and spread out, slamming into all four of the cultivators. The chi they were gathering died along with their awareness, and all four of them fell to the ground.

“Claws!” I yelled. “You got a new ability? What was that!”

She cast a wide grin my way, giving me a double thumbs up.

Before I could run over and scoop her into a hug, another whistling sound caught my attention.

I scanned the sky but was unable to locate its source, so I reached out with my senses instead. They were still sluggish following the blasts I’d unleashed, so it took me longer than it should have to feel a familiar chi signature coming from behind me. I spun, expecting to find her coming for a good scritching. Instead, I saw murder in her eyes.

Cinnamon rocketed down from up high. She flew headfirst toward the guard, her gaze locked on him. A half-peep, half-banshee-wail tore from her throat as she spun in mid-air, utilizing her momentum to deliver a spinning back kick right into the guard’s chest. She didn’t use deadly force, but it still would have rocked the regular human it was aimed at.

Before she could connect, I caught her by the cinnamon-colored scruff.

“Hey!” I chided, holding her up before the wide-eyed guard. “He’s a friend. No kung-fuing our pals.”

She looked at him, me, and him again, then hung her head in embarrassment. Sorry, she peeped, her entire body going limp.

“It’s, uh... okay?” the guard replied, his hand twitching as he stared at Cinnamon. “Can I... pet you?”

Cinnamon perked up immediately, her ears going alert.

“I think that’s a yes, mate,” I said, letting go of her scruff.

She jumped up into his arms, resting her forepaws on his chest. He threw a gauntlet aside and rubbed the top of her head with his hand, a small smile coming to his face that disappeared when a certain miscreant leaped onto his shoulder.

Corporal Claws chirped her indignation at him, shoving Cinnamon aside and pointing to her own head, demanding scritches with a firm chirp.

The guard obeyed, taking turns to rub them both. Claws started pushing Cinnamon, and Cinnamon started pushing back. Before they could start batting at each other within the poor guard’s grip, I yoinked them both.

“All right, you two. You know I love giving a good scritch as much as the next guy, but we’re still on a mission.”

Cinnamon let out an apologetic noise, but Claws just gave me a wide grin. I shook my head as I let them go.

“Get out of here, you little scamps.”

Rather than shoot off, however, they both leaped to the cart.

Cinnamon gave me a shooing gesture.

“You want me to leave them with you?”

Yes, they both replied.

“Do you promise you won’t let Barry leave them behind?”

Cinnamon held a paw to her heart and nodded sincerely, while Claws held a hand to her stomach and reeled as if my words had struck her a mortal blow.

I pointed at the cart. “I’m serious, Claws,” I said, laughing. “The bloke with long, tied-up brown hair is this fella’s—wait, what was your name, mate?”

“Er—Deklan...?” he replied.

“I’m Fischer. Nice to meet you, mate.” I turned back to Claws. “That bloke in the cart is Deklan here’s brother. I know you can be trusted, but it might make him relax if you give him your assurance.”

Claws hopped up onto the cart’s ledge. She gave Deklan a crisp salute, then dashed forward and grabbed his hand, pumping it up and down in a firm handshake.

“I—er—thank... you...?” he said.

Claws nodded, leaped to my shoulder and kissed my cheek, then left. Lightning wreathed her body as she tore off with the cart, disappearing from sight in what must have been the blink of an eye for my new unawakened friend.

“They’re spirit beasts?” he asked.

I nodded, glancing his way. “How do you feel about that, mate?”

“Honestly?” He thought about it for a moment, chewing his lip. “It’s pretty neat,” he eventually decided.

“Right?” I laughed. “It is pretty neat!”

I took a deep breath, my chest feeling lighter than it had all day.

“So, are you ready to leave?”

Deklan was lost in thought. But at my question, he looked up. “I think I am, yeah.”

He was still clearly shocked, but he was handling the fact I was friends with spirit beasts remarkably well. We started walking away, and as much as I wanted to give him a chance to process everything he’d learned, I couldn’t keep a question from voicing itself.

“So, Deklan...”

“Yeah?”

I looked up at the wheeling gulls, trying to appear nonchalant. “How do you feel about fishing?”

***

Turning his back to the mountains the king had struck, Ellis watched as Snips smacked Rocky on the head.

“It is okay,” Ellis said, returning his attention to his notepad. “The king lives.”

Snips blew a slew of furious bubbles.

“I know that is not the point, Snips, but it is done now. No use crying over spilled ink.”

He finished taking his notes as Snips’s beratement continued. Now that his thoughts were down, he could finally inspect the king’s clothing. The garment drew his eyes in as if it were excited as he was.

Indestructible Flame Suit of the Weaver

Rare

Woven of web from a Core Weaver, this suit is almost completely impervious to damage from all chi. It does not provide any resistance.

Bonus Effect: +30% effectiveness to fire chi.

“Remarkable...” Ellis said as he returned to the present.

Before he could further vocalize his thoughts, the surrounding ruckus caught his attention.

Now that they had been seen by the king, it was time to go. Borks had his portal open and ready for them to enter, but Rocky was being… well, Rocky. The crab was facing the hole the king’s naked body had made in the castle, pointing at his back. When Ellis realized what Rocky was asking for, he rubbed his temples.

Rocky wanted to be... what was it that Fischer called it?

Yeeted.

Rocky wanted to be yeeted by Snips as a punishment for breaking his no-chi-attacks rule. Snips was trying to grab him and drag him into the portal, but every time she got close, he cocked his claw back and threatened to blow the floor up.

“Rocky,” Ellis chided. “You can be launched to your heart’s desire when we get back to Tropica. We really do not have time for this. If you wish to be brought on further missions, I must ask you to enter the portal.”

Rocky spun and gave Ellis a series of remarkably rude gestures.

The distraction had worked, however.

With Rocky’s back turned, Pistachio dashed behind him. He wrapped Rocky up in his powerful claws, holding Rocky’s closed. Rocky hissed and spat, his entire body shaking in rage as he promised future violence for the leviathan lobster. Pistachio ignored the threats and scuttled into the portal, taking Rocky with him. Snips followed, berating Rocky the entire way.

Ellis took one last look at the castle before he too strode for the portal. “Take us home, Borks.” He leaned down and patted him twice on the head. “You are a good boy.”

Borks licked Ellis’s hand, and Ellis nodded his thanks. When he stepped back into Borks’s pocket dimension, a sea of faces met him.

“How did it go?” Barry asked, his visage lined by worry as he glanced at the restrained Rocky and vehemently hissing Snips.

The portal to the outside world closed.

“I have much to relay, but first...”

Ellis threw back his hood, letting them take in his wide smile.

“I hereby declare Operation Sticky Fingers a resounding success.”

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