Heather the Necromancer

Book 1: Chapter 18: Open for Business

When morning came, Heather put on her pink dress and set about the morning chores. Her first priority was bathing, and with bucket in hand, she went in search of water. The stream that ran beside the graveyard was down a rather lengthy hill, and she started walking.

Frank said he wanted to expand over the stream to include it in the graveyard. He talked excitedly about building small tombs into the hill and putting stone bridges over the stream. He wanted to make a sort of park pavilion on the other side with a towering obelisk at its center.

She smiled when she thought about how excited he got when he talked about building. Right now, however, all that mattered was washing. She had soap, and a bucket, now all she needed was water. Thankfully the stream was a rapid clear flow of water that tasted clean. She thought of some of the streams from the real world. Slow, stagnant flows full of tires and green algae. She wouldn't dare risk drinking from one of those, let alone washing with it.

She made her way to the stony shore and took her shoes off. She found it odd that she translated in wearing a perfect copy of her clothes down to her sneakers. She wondered why the visitors didn't start new players with something more appropriate. The thought nagged at her mind only a few seconds as she dipped the bucket in the water.

Finally, I can wash, she said as she hauled the bucket up. Ooof! she grunted. Why is water so heavy?

She had to use both hands to struggle the bucket to the shore and then set it down panting. With a groan, she looked up the hill and lamented the distance to her tower.

Water weighs a ton! How am I going to get it up there? she grumbled. She went back to the bucket and grabbed it firmly with both hands. She didn't have much trouble lifting it. It was just the rope handle dug into her skin from the weight, and she couldn't hold it long. She struggled a good twenty steps with it before putting it back down.

Why didnt they make a fantasy world with plumbing? she groaned. She struggled a few more times and managed to get another twenty paces closer, but now her arms hurt.

Fine, I will just wash in the stream, she said as she lay on the hill panting. Giving up, she got to her feet and stumbled back to her tower to get a block of soap. As she got close to her door, she stopped to look at a skeleton.

Oh. You give me an idea, she said with a smile. Come here, she ordered and pointed to the ground at her feet. The skeleton quickly obeyed and moved to stand before her. Alright, so far so good, she said and took a few steps back. When the skeleton didn't follow, she ordered it again. Come here.

Once again, it walked to stand right before her. She stepped back some more and stamped a foot when the skeleton didn't move. She let out a sigh. This will take forever. There must be an easier way to get you to follow me.

The skeleton suddenly lurched forward and stood swaying slightly before her.

Did you just move on your own? she asked pointlessly. When it said nothing, she took a step back, and the skeleton stepped with her.

Right, Heather said with a shake of her head. Follow me works better. With the skeleton finally in tow, she led it down the hill to the bucket.

Ok, pick that up, she said while pointing to the bucket.

With a smile, she watched as the skeleton bent over and picked up the bucket of water.

Good! Now, hold it, and follow me, she commanded and walked back up the hill. She walked backward most of the way, watching as the skeleton effortlessly carried the bucket of water with on hand. She led it all the way to the door of her tower and stopped.

Now, put it down slowly.

The skeleton bent over and placed the bucket on the ground at her feet.

Heather, my dear, you're a genius! she beamed with a smile. She looked to the skeleton and gave it a quick command. Wait here. It didn't move, but she took that to be the proper answer. She picked up her bucket and struggled with it the rest of the way inside. Once safely inside, she finally dared to undress and wash.

It's not quite a tub, but at least its soap and water, she told herself as she knelt beside the bucket and lathered. I need to get some towels and a good scrub brush. I wonder if they sell loofah sponges?

After her wash, she put on a lovely red dress with a layered skirt and gold trim. It was a little fancy, but she wanted to make a good first impression with the adventurers that would be arriving. She had the skeleton come inside the tower and carry out the water. She stood outside her door and surveyed her yard, wondering what to do next.

There wasn't much else she could do. She had her tower and the small yard around it. Her five skeletons, combined with Franks twelve, would have to be challenging enough for those who came to visit.

At least she could reanimate them so that the players wouldn't have to wait hours for them to come back. Still, as she stood in her yard, she couldn't help but feel something was wrong.

Its the air in this place, she told herself. It smells like moldy wood and wet dirt. Everything here smells dirty.

She briefly considered if she could order the skeletons to wash the gravestones. She assumed that would be too complex and order and didn't bother trying. Instead, she went in search of Frank and found him in his lair.

Why arent you outside? she asked as she walked in.

I am staying here, so they won't see me.

Why would you do that? Heather asked with a frown. Youre the one in charge of the graveyard.

I dont need to be up there. I can sense the whole graveyard from here.

dont be silly. We should meet people at the gate and thank them for coming.

What? Frank said with a twisted head. Why would we meet them?

To be friendly, Heather said. They are coming to visit the graveyard.

You have no idea how these games work, do you?

Heather scowled at him and tapped her foot. Is this a game if we are in here for real? When he didn't respond, she continued. This is the real world for us, so we should treat it as such. We provide a service like any business, and part of every business is customer service.

He scratched at his head, and she gave up. Fine, I will go stand at the gate and welcome them in. You stay here and hide in your tunnels.

She marched down the tunnel and returned to the surface as the morning sun moved to midday.

People should be here any minute, she said with a pleased smile. She made her way to the gate and went down her path to the road. As she arrived, she could see a group of people approaching from the north.

Good morning, she called as they got closer. She smiled to see the familiar dwarf and erudite pair traveling with three others. Oh, welcome back!

By Gromiers beard, are we really going to walk in there like nothing happened? the dwarf grumbled.

Im terribly sorry about that, Heather said. But I will make it up to you. We have three groups of skeletons in the yard. One near the front, one near the back left, and five more around the tower.

Oh, we know there are skeletons in there! the dwarf replied. You bloody well trapped us with them.

Frank won't be ambushing you this time, Heather said sweetly. Will you please forgive me and try our graveyard again? She gave them the big eye and clasped her hands.

Come on, let's go in, the Erudite said.

Thats the same bloody look she gave us last time!

The others moved off to go to the yard, and the dwarf glared at Heather before going in after them.

She stood by the road and swayed as the sounds of battle were heard from the yard. An hour later, she went in to check on them as they were finishing the skeletons around the tower.

All done? she asked, causing the dwarf to jump again.

Dont you be sneaking up on us like that! he grumbled.

Im sorry I didnt get your name, Heather asked.

His name is Margus, The bald gray man said. Im Eribold.

We call him Eribald, the dwarf mocked.

The gray man shook his head and continued the introductions. This is Thexis, our thief, he added, pointing to another insectoid with all black skin and a long dagger in each of its four hands. Dixie is our healer, he said, pointing to a woman who was thin but only four feet tall. She had bright green eyes and rich yellow skin. On her head was a pair of curled black horns.

Heather nodded and looked at the last man. He was a little taller than normal with deep red skin and small points for horns. He had sharp angular features and deep black eyes. His armor was all black plates, and he carried a long serrated sword.

And who are you? Heather asked.

Eribold sighed as she shook his head. This is l33tk1ller, he said as if the name were ridiculous.

Hey, its a perfectly good name, the man argued.

Well, I am Heather, she said with a smile. And somewhere below us is Frank the ghoul.

Lets hope he stays below, Margus grumbled.

Oh, Frank is really very nice, Heather said. He just wants to build his graveyard like Moon wants to build the town.

Yeah, but he does it at our expense! Margus replied.

Margus, Eribold interrupted. She has kept to her word, and we all got a decent chunk of experience.

Heather watched the dwarf shift uncomfortably and then had an idea. Hey, I know what we should do next!

Frank knew they were all in the graveyard, but they hadn't moved in nearly half an hour. They were all in the back corner of the yard where his stone coffin was. He decided to investigate, and as he left the mausoleum, he heard laughing. As he crept across the yard, he stopped in his tracks as his mouth fell open.

What are you doing? Frank yelled from the side.

Oh hi, Frank! Heather called sweetly from where she sat on the coffin.

Why are you sitting on my tomb?

We needed a table, Heather said. You know I dont have any furniture.

As Frank walked closer, he shook his head to see Heather sitting with a group of adventurers. Two bottles of her apple cider were open, and they all had a cup in hand.

You're supposed to be adventuring not having a tea party, he groaned.

They are just taking a break, Heather said. I will respawn the skeletons when they are done.

This is supposed to be a dangerous, scary place, Frank insisted.

The smell is certainly scary, Dixie said.

Oh, I am very sorry about that, Heather apologized.

Its a graveyard! Frank snapped. Its supposed to smell like that.

Dixie shrugged. It needs some flowers.

I said the same thing, Heather added with a smile.

I cant believe this is happening, Frank groaned.

Come have some cider, Heather suggested.

I dont drink, Frank replied dryly.

Heather ignored him and went back to talking. So Frank was thinking of putting in this tree that is a spiders nest next, but I think he shouldnt.

No, he should absolutely do it, Eribold said. Those spiders drop rare silk that tailors, and some alchemist would kill for. It would attract even more people from the town here.

Really? Heather asked.

He sipped his cup and nodded. I read a lot before I came in. The economy is very big on rare materials like that.

I had no idea, thank you for telling us, Heather said with a nod. She turned to Frank with a smile. I changed my mind. I like your spider tree idea now.

Great, Frank said as he folded his arms.

Well, if you're all ready, why don't you step outside the gate and will respawn the skeletons.

Thank you, Miss Heather, Margus said. The cider was lovely.

Heather smiled and waved them out as Frank stood by with his arms folded, tapping a foot.

Did he just call you, Miss Heather? Frank asked when they were gone.

He sure did, she replied.

He doesnt like us!

Yes, he does, Heather corrected. He just needed some time. He's a big sweetheart when you get to know him.

Youre treating this like its a game, he said.

Heather blinked at him. I thought it was a game?

You know what I mean, Frank said. You're too friendly. Were supposed to be the bosses of the graveyard.'

But, isn't that what we are? Heather asked. She wasn't sure what Frank was getting at, but she could tell he was annoyed.

People should be afraid to face us, not sit down to cider with us.

Why? Heather asked.

He threw his arms up in frustration. I don't know; it's just how it's always done.

That isn't a good answer, she pointed out. Why can't we be friends with the town and share?

Frank looked around and didnt respond right away.

Frank, what am I missing?

Youre missing me, he said.

I don't think I understand, she said, walking to him. Explain it to me.

Look at me, he said. I picked this so I could be the boss battle at the end. I wanted to fight with the players, and I was prepared to lose half the time. I just wanted the fun of being the big challenge deep below in the dungeons. If I'm not going to fight them, then why did I pick this race in the first place? I could have built a graveyard with a hundred other races that were more accepted.

Oh, Heather said. You were looking forward to it.

Yes, Frank said with a nod.

Im sorry, I didnt realize this was part of your plan. I got so focused on helping you build the graveyard.

It's alright, Frank sighed. It was growing so slowly anyway. I was never going to have the dungeon I wanted.

Heather paced a bit as she chewed her lip. Here, let me animate the skeletons really quick, and then let's go into your tunnels and talk about it.

What else is there to talk about?

Will you just try talking? she pleaded. Sometimes, other people have shockingly good points of view.

He shrugged and walked off as Heather set about reanimating the skeletons. A few minutes later, she went to the gate to let them know they could go in.

All ready, she said with a happy tone. I am going below to talk to Frank. I will be up in an hour to check on you.

Alright, Miss Heather, they responded, and she dashed away.

Frank, she called as she walked down the dark hallway to his lair. She found him squatting in his soil pit almost motionless.

So you were looking forward to being part of the adventure, she said to return to the earlier conversation.

Why else would I choose to look like this? he asked. I wanted to look scary.

I'm sorry. You were scary when I first saw you, but you were always so nice. Now I just see you as Frank. It never occurred to me you wanted more from your building.

Like I said, my plan wasnt working anyway.

Heather saw his shoulders slump and his head pitch down. She didn't realize he wanted to be a part of the graveyard, not just build it. So much of this world confused her, and now that confusion was hurting Frank.

Maybe, we can do both? she said as she started to pace.

What do you mean, do both?

Heather chewed on her lip as her mind worked. We can't do it yet, but when we're a little bigger, and you have more rooms, we could make it a special event to hunt for you.

How could we do that?

Heather tried to work out the details in her mind as they started to come together. Once you have more rooms, you can hide down here someplace. I will send teams in one at a time, and they have only so much time to find you and defeat you. If they do, they get a prize. If not, the next team gets to try.

So, I could be the challenge at the end?

You would be the challenge itself. Find the ghoul and defeat him for the reward, she said. We could even charge teams an entry fee.

Frank looked at her with unblinking eyes for a long silent moment.

Is it a bad idea? she asked.

He shook his head. No, it's actually a good idea. You don't think at all like a gamer, and because you don't, you have good ideas all the time.

Well, thank you! she beamed at his kind words.

What will we use as a prize? he asked.

We can use some money as the prize and add to it as teams pay us to hunt for you. We can even lure more and more people in by telling them when the prize pool is large.

Youre like an advertising agency, Frank said.

Heather shook her head. I did a lot of work for fundraisers. Advertising is ninety percent of the job.

Frank reached up and scratched his head. It seems funny to be doing nothing while players raid the graveyard, but it isnt hurting anything. I guess its alright.

It's perfect, Heather said. You can use the experience to make more tunnels and rooms to make it challenging. Then when it's big enough, we start holding the events.

Frank let out a sigh. I'm sorry, I got mad. You don't see things the way I do, but sometimes the way you see things is better. I keep making stupid decisions.

You're just trying to have fun, Heather said. And you shouldn't put yourself down. You were trying to build a dungeon to provide a rewarding experience too. So in many ways, you cared about customer service just as much. You just tackled it a different way.

I guess your right, he said. Incidentally, they have cleared the first group of skeletons.

I hope they are having fun, Heather said, looking up at the ceiling.

I hope one of them dies. I could use a body for the graveyard.

They brought somebody who could heal with them, Heather said.

Oh well, Frank sighed. Maybe in the group tomorrow.

There you go! Heather said. This is going to be fun for all of us now.

Frank shook his head. I never imagined doing it this way, but I am glad you made it happen.

She smiled as she felt proud of herself. For the first time since arriving, she felt like something was going right. With any luck, that would continue until she found a way home.

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