Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Chapter 15 - Gege can you add me when you’re in a good mood? T.T

Jing Huan was in a state of self-doubt when his friend messages flashed again.

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: Fuck, hold on, I sent you the wrong WeChat number.

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: …have you searched for it yet?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: …

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Not yet…

…looks like that was an alternate account for other purposes.

Love is For You to Eat quickly sent another WeChat over. Both of them sent a cute expression and tacitly avoided talking about the previous WeChat account.

Jing Huan searched for the new WeChat number, and sure enough, the profile picture was a cute anime character wearing an orange hooded jacket. Her WeChat name was Chichi, and her Moments couldn’t be seen by strangers either.

This is what’s normal ma.

Looks like it’s not his problem then.

The other healer called Ji Xiaonian was still afk-ing. Yearning For kicked her out right after leaving the instance and casually asked another healer to join in the World Channel.

Without the healers afk-ing, Jing Huan could basically lay on the ground while clearing the remaining two instances. They were very efficient and cleared both in half an hour.

The party disbanded on the spot. Jing Huan threw the Restoration spiritual plants and 500 gold to Yearning For and flew to the safe area.

[Friend] Yearning For: Come back.

[Friend] Yearning For: I’ll throw you money.

Restoration spiritual plants could be sold for dozens of coppers at the Chambers of Commerce.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: I don’t need the money, Gege, just treat it as a protection fee for doing the instance with me [touches head]

Xiang Huaizhi raised an eyebrow. It’s not like he was part of the underworld, why would he need a protection fee?

Forget it, he would just throw it to her the next time they did instances together.

A moment later, he moved his mouse over to Xiao Tianjing’s profile and saw the other party’s coordinates.

Not in the safe area again.

This person was really…

[Friend] Yearning For: If you can, don’t leave the safe area during this period of time.

[Friend] Yearning For: If you drop levels from getting killed, it won’t be good when doing instances.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Okay Gege QAQ

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: But Gege how did you know that I’m not in a safe area right now?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: You’re looking at my information!!!

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: [twirls around][excited]

“…” Xiang Huaizhi silently closed the dialog box.

“That healer came back, she said she disconnected just now.” Lu Hang said, “Ai oh right, Old Xiang, how many instance points do you have left?”

Every time an instance was cleared, the system would give the player points corresponding to the instance. Once the points were accumulated to a certain extent, they could be exchanged for rewards with an NPC.

Xiang Huaizhi glanced at it. “…80.”

“80?!” Lu Hang exclaimed, “So didn’t that idiot exchange all the points that you had accumulated? Fuck! Did he go mad from poverty? He even stole instance points?”

“There’s nothing left of whatever he could take.” Xiang Huaizhi closed the page.

“…fortunately your equipment was all locked, otherwise I’d definitely dox him and screw him to death.” Lu Hang couldn’t help saying, “Aren’t you too unlucky? It wasn’t easy to find a booster, yet you encountered such an outrageous one, and he even reduced your character’s reputation to such a state…”

Xiang Huaizhi didn’t respond. After he finished his dailies, he closed the game and opened up an NBA replay.

“Hei, I’ve watched that match.” Lu Hang had his toothbrush in his mouth as he walked up behind him. “The score was 113 to…”

Xiang Huaizhi picked up the basketball next to his foot and threw it at his face. “Shut up.”

Lu Hang steadily caught the ball. “Fuck, I’m wearing pjs. If you dirty my clothes, I’ll roll all around your bed.”

After watching the basketball game, Xiang Huaizhi got into bed.

He picked up his phone and was just about to set an alarm when he saw a WeChat message pop up on his screen.

【Xiao Jing ya has sent you a friend request, attached message: God of War Gege, I’m Xiao Tianjing! >.<】

Xiang Huaizhi, “…Lu Hang.”

Lu Hang, “Aiya, the little miss has been begging me for it for more than half the day, it would’ve been too embarrassing to not give it ah. Also, we’ll be teammates doing instances together from now on, so adding each other on WeChat will make it more convenient for contacting each other ma!”

Xiang Huaizhi frowned and clicked ‘ignore’.

But the other side clearly wouldn’t give up that easily.

【Xiao Jing ya has sent you a friend request, attached message: Why is Gege ignoring meee……】

【Xiao Jing ya has sent you a friend request, attached message: QAQ Gege wuwuwu I’ll just be a corpse in your list, I definitely won’t annoy you!】

【Xiao Jing ya has sent you a friend request, attached message: Gege can you add me when you’re in a good mood? T.T】

Jing Huan lay sideways on the sofa with his feet casually hanging off it. While he pondered over what message to attach next, he threw a grape into his mouth.

His phone suddenly vibrated, making him so elated that he quickly closed the request page–

Lu Wenhao: [kitty wink]

Lu Wenhao: I’m sorry, but I have no remarks here, so may I ask who you are, Meimei?

Xiao Jing ya: ?

Xiao Jing ya: Guess.

Lu Wenhao: Meimei from a neighbouring class?

Xiao Jing ya: No.

Lu Wenhao: Added in a bar?

Xiao Jing ya: Nope.

Lu Wenhao: Don’t tell me you’re someone from the Lang Ren Sha club?

Jing Huan fell silent and suddenly felt like it wasn’t surprising that this idiot got deceived online.

Lu Wenhao: Why aren’t you talking anymore?

Lu Wenhao: ** Mei.

Jing Huan held his phone up, pressed the voice key, and with a voice that couldn’t go any lower than it was, enunciated clearly, “I’m your father.”

A few seconds later, Lu Wenhou’s voice message immediately popped over.

“What the fuck!” Lu Wenhao was still in shock. “Are you nuts?! What kind of profile picture is this?! Why is it even more fucking pink than my ex-girlfriend’s profile pic?? And what’s up with your Moments? Why did you upload a bunch of pictures of dolls?”

“You’re the one who’s nuts.” Jing Huan spit out grape seeds. “Don’t you know how to read chat records? Also, you have an ‘ex-boyfriend’, not an ‘ex-girlfriend’.”

Lu Wenhao: “I clear my chat records every day, there’s nothing to see.”

“That’s what a slag guy would do.” Jing Huan assessed.

“Fuck, it’s just my habit, isn’t it all because that swindler from before always liked checking all my social networking apps…pei pei pei, don’t fucking mention him anymore.” Lu Wenhao said, “Why did your WeChat become like this?”

Jing Huan said calmly, “Lost in Truth or Dare.”

“You put up pretty high stakes, didn’t you.” Lu Wenhao believed firmly in Jing Huan. “Oh right, Xiangxiang and I will be eating hotpot in the dorm this weekend. When you come over, bring some beer along.”

“Okay, afternoon or night?”

“Night of course, there’s no mood for it in the afternoon. By the way, come earlier and bring your laptop along, and we can play together then.”

His phone vibrated again. With a Lu Wenhao precedent in place, Jing Huan couldn’t get excited anymore. It was most likely someone who wanted to mock his profile picture.

【Xiang: I’ve already accepted your friend request, we can start chatting now.】

Lu Wenhao: “You don’t know this, but just two days after you left, those damn assholes in the neighbouring dorm started provoking me and Ah Xiang everyday, they really need to be taught a lesson. We must teach them how to conduct themselves and press them down into the spring waters…”

“I’m hanging up.” Jing Huan interrupted him.

“And make them call us Daddy as they cry…what? You’re hanging up now? Hold on, I still have something…”

Before he finished, Jing Huan hung up.

He opened up his list of expressions and wanted to greet Yearning For first.

But he forgot that WeChat wasn’t NCH, it didn’t have as many preinstalled expression packages for him to choose from. What he had saved in his WeChat were mostly idiotic expressions.JPG.

So he just sent the kitty expression that Lu Wenhao had sent him over.

Xiao Jing ya: [kitty wink]

The other side didn’t reply, of course. There wasn’t even the words “is currently typing”.

Jing Huan tapped on Yearning For’s Moments to take a look; the information section was empty, but there were a few Moments. They were all pictures of basketball courts.

Jing Huan didn’t mind not receiving a reply. It was more important to sleep at night.

There were many days yet to come, he could take his time.

The next day, Xiang Huaizhi had just returned to his dormitory after class when he saw Lu Hang leave the dormitory with his bag.

“Old Xiang!” Upon seeing him, Lu Hang quickly took two steps forward. “You’ve come at the right time, just need to tell you that it’s my Mum’s birthday today, so I have to rush home for a bit. I won’t be able to accompany you in the arena tonight…it’s my fault, I only remembered today. I was even scolded by my Dad just now.”

In order to ensure that his character had a stable placing on the ranking list, Xiang Huaizhi had to play in the arena every week. He used to only play 1v1s, but NCH had changed the arena’s mechanism after its updates and maintenance two weeks ago; those who played 2v2 and above would get a certain amount of bonus points.

His account was messed around with by a booster in the past few months, and he had already lost quite a lot of points. If he still didn’t gather points this week, then his rank on the expert ranking list would drop. So he and Lu Hang had arranged to play 2v2 together from then on.

“It’s okay, go back ba, it’ll be the same for me if I play 1v1s.”

“Don’t ah, I saw the new system. 1v1 only nets you three points after one win, the other levels gets you 7 points per round. If you play 1v1, you’ll definitely be surpassed by others on the expert ranking list.” Lu Hang persuaded, “Why don’t you find someone to make do with first? Oh right, I added quite a few people on the expert ranking list on WeChat, I can help you ask around? Which sect do you want?”

“No need.” Xiang Huaizhi shook his head. “It’s okay, go back ba. I’ll play it by ear.”

After returning to the dormitory, Xiang Huaizhi opened NCH and went to take a look at the game bulletin board. Sure enough, it was just as Lu Hang had said, the points for 1v1 had been reduced a lot.

He opened up his friend list.

He has been playing NCH for so many years so he did have a few friends in game, but they rarely talked. He hadn’t talked to most of them after adding them as friends, so they weren’t much different from strangers in the end.

He paged through the list twice and still decided on playing 1v1.

It didn’t matter if there weren’t a lot of points, he just needed to win a few more rounds to make up for it.

Since he didn’t need to look for a teammate, he had enough time to do a few dailies.

He made his character walk out of the city. He had just arrived at the portal when he saw a familiar little fairy fox sitting at the city entrance. Its fox tail swayed from side to side and became part of the city entrance’s scenery.

Afk-ing here?

Xiang Huaizhi’s fingertips paused, and for some strange reason, he cast a few more glances at her.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: [surprise] God of War Gege!

Xiang Huaizhi, “…”

So she wasn’t afk-ing.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Are you going to do your dailies? [doubtful]

[Current] Yearning For: Un.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Okie, take care *^0^*

[Current] Yearning For: …

[Current] Yearning For: What are you sitting here for?

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Ah, I wanted to do my dailies too, but there are a lot of people from Idle Pavilion lying in wait outside. I don’t dare leave.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: The arena will probably start soon, and I’ll go do my dailies after they leave.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Aren’t I smart [pushes specs]

Xiang Huaizhi didn’t say anything.

He didn’t understand; this little fairy fox was clearly being pursued relentlessly, so how could she still be so optimistic everyday? If it were someone else, they would’ve probably left and switched to another account long ago.

[Current] Yearning For: You’re smart.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: [shy]

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Gege go and do your dailies ba.

[Current] Yearning For: You can’t even do your dailies since you’re being hunted down like this, what fun is all this?

[Current] Yearning For: Have you never thought of selling your account?

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Ah? Nope 0.0

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: It wasn’t easy for me to do instances with you at last, I won’t sell my account!

[Current] Yearning For: …

[Current] Yearning For: I’m leaving.

After saying this, Yearning For immediately walked into the portal and left the city.

Jing Huan was halfway through typing when he stopped.

Fuck, his “Gege baibai” hadn’t even been sent out yet!

Jing Huan was about to change to another pose and continue defending the city gate when he saw the portal light up, and a man wearing a black robe reappeared in front of him.

Jing Huan was stunned. Why was he back again?

Just as he was about to type and ask, he saw a row of words pop up above the man’s head.

[Current] Yearning For: Do you want to play in the arena?

—

Juurensha: Ohohohoho, bonding time!

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