Chapter 35
"Whusa?" I mumbled as I startled awake at the sound of a door opening. I sat covered in blankets and one eye caked shut cold drool on my chin which I quickly wiped away.
"Real cute." Jun told me dryly as he caught sight of my sleepy face.
"Jerk." I snapped at him, cut off by a big yawn as I stretched arm high and wide letting the muscles in my upper back stretch out a bit.
It wasn't like stretching my Cyberware mattered. Although I did notice my right arm wasn't right. But it wasn't the usual discomfort, I glanced at it and noticed the dent.
Right. I had gotten shot last night in the arm… Which reminded me about someone else being shot.
"Jun? Are you all healed up?"
"Mostly." He confirmed plopping down on the couch beside me and peeling his burrito from a wrapper.
"I'm glad." I told him gently as he took a big bite. "Sorry I didn't come back, I was gonna but… well I had my own little thing." I told him quietly with a smile as I relaxed my shoulders getting to feel my arms settle.
It wasn't how they would have settled before, but it was how they settled now, and that fact didn't bother me so much right then.
"You okay?" He mumbled from between bites and I gave him a smile and a nod.
"Yep! I had a big cry… Everything sort of hit me last night. But I'm feeling a lot better."
"Good. That's good." He told me quietly, and while I could feel the emotion in his voice he was definitely fighting back another emotion.
"You wanna talk about me running off last night?" I prompted and I could see him take a deep breath and let it out.
"Yeah. I do."
"Okay. I'm not going anywhere. So let's… Let's really talk Jun." I rose up off the couch pulling my blanket with me to flop on the other side of the table as I settled in, letting us talk face to face.
He was quiet for a while as he chewed but the way he was staring I knew he was thinking.
"You didn't need me last night."
"Maybe. Maybe not." I shrugged a weird feeling now that I was holding my shoulders lower. "I was looting when you showed up, but I might have gotten greedy and stuck around too long."
"Motoko… You didn't need me." He said bluntly, sounding sad as he put the empty burrito wrapper on the table. "You handle yourself like a pro… I left you behind during the raid because I didn't want you there. I didn't want you in danger. But you still caught up. You still killed. I hated it. I hate it. Seeing you do that. Putting blood on your hands… But no matter what I do, you're still gonna do it."
"Yeah." I confirmed with a sad smile as I looked at my brother really fighting himself. Jun wasn't an emotional guy. At least not like this. He was a hothead. Not an empathetic thinker.
But he was trying.
"I can't stop you. I want to. I… I would kill anyone to stop you, but that won't change anything. You will still do what you want. Just like always." He sighed his hands seemingly not able to sit still as he kept opening and closing them, or pushing them together. "I'm scared Motoko. Scared that you will get hurt. I can't protect you if you put yourself in danger." His leg was bouncing as he started talking knee up and down in a rapid succession.
"I'm scared for you too Jun… But I can't stop you. You joined the Kamikaze, which… Man, that name has some connotations." I grumbled. "But I have to trust you. I have to believe you will stay safe, because I can't… I can't physically stop you."
"And I can't physically stop you." He agreed, the two of us looking each other over with matching quirks of our lips.
"What a pair we make huh Jun-Nii?"
"Yeah Imouto." He chuckled a little, actually sounding like… Well Jun. Before everything. "A real pair. We both have a death wish."
"No." I told him instantly, standing up and reaching across the table to put both my hands on his cheeks. "Not a death wish. Just a bloody path ahead of each of us… It's not a death wish. We might die. We might not. But Jun-Nii. I promise. I won't throw my life away. If I die, it will be doing something I believe is right. And maybe something I love. Cause I do like it."
"Little Killer." He finally said with a huffed out laugh as he reached forward and suddenly I wasn't standing on the other side of the table. No, I was squeezed tight against Jun's chest as he held me. I laughed, and hugged him back.
We were both broken. Maybe even crazy. But the world was crazy too.
So we would survive.
—--
"Ow!" I growled as I zapped myself once again. After the nice long hug from Jun, and a bit of sibling bonding Jun had gone into his room to take a nap, still tired from the drugs and his bullet holes, while I went to work on my newest skill!
Engineering!
With Engineering my Crafting had suddenly linked with the knowledge and had exploded.
Two halves of the same coin. Crafting was slapping shit together. How good are you at physically making something? Do you know the right tolerances, the right diameter to make something just work?
But Engineering? Engineering was planning. Design. Engineering was creation. It was the difference between the tinker in his home lab shaving away a few millimeters on something to make it work better, to the engineer that designed the whole thing in a lab.
Together they synced, I was both of those people. The creator, and the end user. Plus with my other skills I was the operator.
How many people could say they were a true Renaissance woman? I could do it all! Although I still couldn't paint.
So with just how flexible my knowledge was, first step was to mess with my equipment.
I had done some tinkering with my guns already, but I had a lot to do.
First I went out to the car and grabbed all the loot from the Maelstrom garage.
The Nekomata was first. I had looked it over, but there wasn't much I could change, the previous user knew his gun. It was a solid piece of work. The modifications it had were all solid improvements.
At least for now.
Instead I had a bunch of tech scrap that I already had ideas for.
If I was going to level Engineering, I might as well do it easily.
Grenades!
An explosive, a trigger, and a casing, honestly with my 3D printer I could make everything but the explosives, but those were easy.
I had stolen a bunch of grenade stuff from the Raffen base, and now I was actually motivated to use it. The shard I klepped that had the crazy grenade Raffens tips and tricks on how to create grenades was actually easy to understand with my Engineering knowledge.
Which is why I was putting together homemade grenades. After half a dozen frag grenades I decided that a couple EMP grenades might be really useful.
The discharge for it was pretty standard stuff. I grab a battery that I could find in most devices, and basically set it into a supercharger that would cause it to explode, put that in a case, and set it all up from a button.
Voila EMP grenade. I guess that says a lot about power sources in Cyberpunk that with a few modifications you could turn them into a dangerous explosive.
Honestly the scrap metal I had was running low considering how simple Grenade interiors were.
"What the hell is that?" Jun said suddenly looking at me from the door, his fire hair limp and sticking out at weird angles from a nap.
"Grenade."
He blinked. Then he blinked again as he looked down towards the wires that I was holding in my hands as I was wiring up an EMP grenade.
"Not in the house."
"It's safe!"
"Not in the house." He said again before slowly backing back into his room.
"Fine!" I grumbled as I undid all the wiring before tossing the grenades in pieces back into my parts section. Not about to leave an unfinished halfway put together grenade in my box.
That's stupid.
But now I had nothing to do. The Maelstrom would all be sleeping with the sun still up…
I blinked.
Why did I think I had nothing to do? I had a car. A city, friends…
That's right. I had friends.
I snorted at myself. I had been so stressed out, so focusing on killing I had practically forgotten.
I stood up and stretched feeling the play of muscles in my back loosen up from my hunched over position.
"Hey Jun! I'm gonna go see Hiromi!"
Jun's head popped out of his room a moment later as he instantly looked to the table, not seeing whatever he was looking for he seemed to relax.
"You shouldn't be running around. It's dangerous out there."
"Hiromi is stuck at home, at least last I talked to her. I'll go visit. My car is armored so unless I'm jumped by an entire attack squadron of Strom, I'll be fine. Besides… I should probably get out and do something other than hyperfocus on the Maelstrom." I threw Jun a thumbs up and gave him a big smile. "I'll be careful!"
He slowly nodded as he stepped out, walked over and to my surprise pulled me into a hug. He ended it nearly instantly without a word as he walked into the kitchen to grab a drink.
"Love you too Jun-nii!" I called back as I ran around gathering some stuff. Mostly my jacket and guns. I did decide to bring my Katana though. Maybe Hiromi and I could practice?
A few blocks away from the Dojo I called Hiromi.
*Motoko! Are you okay? Everything alright?*
*Hey Hiromi! I'm okay! How are you? Still stuck at home?*
*Uh, Yeah… My 'rents are still super protective right now.* She said but there was something in her voice a tremor, or… I wasn't sure.
*Want to hang out?*
*Yes! Save me Motoko! I'm so bored!*
*Well I'm on my way over. I can tell you what I've been up to.*
*Perfect! Seriously, it's been the wooorst! Both of my parents are working from home to avoid any gang problems!* Hiromi started chattering, which was actually pretty soothing as I continued the drive. By the time I was pulling into a parking spot in Hiromi's apartment's garage, she seemed normal-happy and chattering away.
I guess she really had been lonely.
I shouldn't have let myself spiral into my own issues… Hiromi was my Choom. Being stuck inside, practically locked away all day? That sucked.
We ended the call as I parked, and I hurried to the elevator. The long wait as it rose up had me tapping my foot, but finally it opened, and there was Hiromi already rushing me.
"Motokooooo!" She cried out in delight as she slammed into me in a massive hug.
I couldn't help but laugh as I had to spin her around a few times to bleed off the momentum. Finally her feet were back on the floor and she looked me over for a moment looking at my new arms. I brought my right arm up and flexed a bit.
"It's taken a bit to get used to, but I'm starting to feel comfortable with them."
Hiromi wasn't smiling though. Her smile had turned into a frown, before she shook herself Which is when I noticed her hair wasn't in her usual Mohawk. Instead it was sort of laid down, much more casual than I had ever seen her hair. And her Neon whisker marks weren't on, leaving her cheeks chrome, but sort of bare. But I knew something was wrong when she tried to smile at me. Only for it to fold. "I'm sorry… I wasn't there, I…"
"Heey. It's okay, honestly! I actually started feeling better about it last night… I uh, had a cry last night." I revealed, a little embarrassed.
"Gonk." She whispered gently, as she was obviously fighting back tears, but she took a deep breath and let it out. She reached out and grabbed my hand and started pulling me along. "C'mon we can hang out in my room, and you can tell me everything!"
"Sure!" I chirped as I was tugged along, Hiromi was shorter than me, but she tugged me along without any trouble. Her wild girl was showing a bit of a return. That was good. Hiromi was acting weird.
I was tugged into her big fancy apartment, past her mother who was looking on to see what was going on with a blank look. I gave her a wave and she simply nodded before Hiromi pulled me fully into her room. She spun me around and pushed me onto her bed before closing her door.
"Tell me everything!" She demanded standing over me with her hands on her hips and I giggled at her expression.
"Sure. So it started when Jun came home-"
—--
We ended up sprawled on her bed as I told my story. Half way through my story Hiromi had grabbed my hand and refused to give it back. Now she was running her fingers along my chrome which felt… Weird.
Ticklish? But not. I hadn't really had many people touch me gently since I got my arms, besides Jun, and his arms were just as chrome as mine.
So to feel actual human flesh running a finger up my palm was really strange.
Goosebumps were running all along my back.
"Wish I had been there." She muttered finally as I finished my story of everything I had done.
"I don't." I told her bluntly. "Outnumbered and outgunned, I tried to run and I couldn't make it. It was a hit squad. I'm just lucky they were stupid enough to kidnap me, and not just flatline me then and there." I said and Hiromi's fingers gripped hard against my hand.
"You're my best choom Motoko. You can't die okay?" She spoke quietly as she grabbed my attention with how desperate her voice was.
"I have no intention of having a drink named after me in the Afterlife." I told her not really able to promise not to die. "I'll be as safe as I can be."
"Hah! No way, when you do finally bite it, they will definitely give you a drink, you're gonna be a bad bitch Edgerunner. And I'll be your cunning and beautiful corpo contact that no one can be sure is on their side!" Hiromi offered with a chuckle, but I was frowning.
Hiromi had never in the time I had known her said she was going to be a corpo.
Ever.
Quite the opposite in fact.
"Hiromi?" I asked, voice quiet and she just sort of looked away.
"It's nothing Toko… Just everything." But I smelled a problem, so I didn't let up. I squeezed her hand back and tugged her hand until she looked up.
Finally she spoke. "It started with parent stuff. Them being here constantly, means they… Well I'm forced to deal with them constantly now. Not like before. Dad was always away before, but having him constantly in my face… Telling me what I am going to do in the future. Showing me his work, and what to do… But it's not that."
She visibly swallowed as she curled up, her legs pulling up to her chest as she held my hand like a lifeline.
"I went out." She said quietly in a whisper. "It was late, and I wanted… I just wanted to rebel I guess. I snuck outside, and jumped on my bike, and I went for a drive. It was fine at first. I had my Katana, and I was… I was stupid. Confident. I didn't even think anything could happen…"
"Did someone hurt you?" I practically growled, my eyes narrowed and I could feel my teeth grinding. If someone hurt Hiromi!
"No." She shook her head which nearly instantly poured water over the black rage building up. "It's pathetic. I can't even-" She was definitely starting to cry a bit, but that was not okay!
"Hey, hey! It's okay. Hiromi what's got you so bothered? Tell me? Best Chooms don't judge best chooms." I assure her as I did my best to comfort her.
Suddenly she was shaking her head looking down at her knees, but she started talking, never taking her eyes away from the ground.
"I got scared. I was driving along thinking I was some bad bitch. A gun fight started up. Wasn't even Tyger Claws, or Maelstrom. Just some stupid fuckbags robbing some store getting shot at. I drove past as they started shooting. Scared the absolute shit of me. I… I jerked, lost control, crashed my bike. I wasn't hurt, but… I hid Motoko. Just that, just gunshots near me sent me hiding in a fuckin dumpster… I don't I don't really know how long I was hiding. Eventually I… Eventually I got together enough to get back on my bike and ride home."
She looked up, tears in her eyes as she revealed her story. "I'm a coward Motoko… I couldn't… I couldn't go out and actually be a StreetKid. I'm just a corpo brat after all! That's… that's all I'll ever be."
"But I'm complaining about stupid shit… You're the one that got kidnapped again, and had horrible things happen. I just had to take a shower when I got ho-"
I ignored Hiromi's attempts to push away from her problems, and instead squeezed her into a tight hug.
"You're wrong. There is nothing wrong, or shameful about being scared." I whisper into her hair as I hold her, and absolutely refuse to release her, until she gives in and starts hugging me back.
"Ichi went out, Malcolm went out. You went out. I couldn't Motoko. I thought… I thought with you back everything would be great, we would be a duo, but I can't… I'm a coward, how can I be your partner if I can't even go outside?"
"Well… Then you can be my Fixer!"
Hiromi snorted, and then started chuckling until she laughed and laughed as she hugged me back.
"Gonk!"
"Nope. I'm a Best Choom." I tell her earning more giggles as she nods along
"That's true I guess… It's okay? That I…"
"Hiromi. You're my first friend. And I say that as someone who literally had amnesia and only knew Jun in the whole world. You came in and made friends with me, remember? No matter what you choose to do, or choose to be, I'll always be your best choom. Even if I have to sneak into Araska tower to hang out with you at work. Or if you are my go to fixer, or just my go to couch, to crash on and play games and watch bad movies."
She started crying again.
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