Falling into the Abyss

Chapter 39: The Past Regarding Roland (II)

Ethan and Roland agreed not to make a big splash regarding their relationship. After all, the Earth Unions government had always been very reluctant to promote the love between civil servants and foreigners. They might even deduct three to five points of their moral value, which may affect their year-end assessment. Ethan and Roland didnt see each other very often at the Energy Bureau, but sometimes Roland would deliberately make a detour to pass by Ethans office. They didnt talk but merely gazed and smiled at each other. Ethan would also look into the labs when he passed by them. If he saw Roland, wearing a white coat and playing with some instruments, he would be delighted all afternoon.

Even his assistant secretary whispered that Ethan had become much more friendly and did not chastise him even if he made a serious mistake.

In the afternoon, after their work finished, if Roland did not work overtime or meet with other researchers, then he would knock on Ethans door around dinner time. Ethan sometimes made dinner, and sometimes they called for takeout. Both of them enjoyed watching movies about ancient history a lot. They would chat for hours and would have sex in Ethans bed at night. Roland was very gentle to him and very skillful. However, Ethan secretly hoped that he would be rougher.

Of course, he could never voice out such a shameful desire.

Occasionally, they would go to restaurants or cinemas far away from Ethans home to avoid being seen by people they knew and getting reported to their superiors. Ethan did not feel aggrieved at first and even liked the thrill. When no one was around, Roland would take advantage of the moment to kiss him. When they were in the middle of a meeting with the director, he would quietly hook Ethans leg under the table. When Ethan passed by, Roland would imperceptibly slap his butt. All of these small actions caused his heartbeat to accelerate and make him feel passionate and excited.

But as time went on, he gradually felt a little bit lost.

During the month they achieved a breakthrough in the new metal synthesis technology, the Bureau held a dinner party. They invited all relevant researchers and administrators to attend and allowed each to bring a dance partner. Ethan planned the entire event by himself, from choosing the venue, determining the dishes, and arranging for the security. As the main person in charge, he naturally had to participate, but he didnt bring any partners, as he thought that he would have no time to dance anyway.

However, he soon regretted it.

He saw Roland walk in slowly in a tailored indigo suit. Beside him, there was a beautiful and lovely Omega youth holding his arm, his smile as bright as a spring breeze. From time to time, he would stand on tiptoe and whisper to Roland, and the Alpha would laugh. Whether it was in height or appearance, the two men were so well matched that they were particularly eye-catching in the crowd and aroused everyones envy and admiration.

Ethan stood on the second floor and listened to the hotel manager verify the number of people in attendance, but he did not hear what the other party said. His eyes wandered back and forth between Roland and the Energy Bureaus new engineer currently in his arms, and his mind suddenly seemed to empty.

Ethan had never been good at dancing. He was often stiff and full of awkwardness on the dance floor and would slip away after ten minutes. He would never have danced so harmoniously with Roland.

At this moment, he suddenly hated himself. Still, even more so, he hated the smiling young man who revolved around Roland.

For the rest of the evening, Ethan was in a bad mood. Except for communicating with the head chef and the director when necessary or guiding the guests when they couldnt find the bathroom, he sat by the tall bay window with a glass of champagne in silence, occasionally glancing at the smiling crowd. He had arranged everything clearly before the banquet. He had set when to serve the first main course, when to serve the second course, and when to ask the director to speak. Everything was going on according to the schedule. Even without him, there would be no issues. Looking at a pair of lovers near him, he felt that his existence had become increasingly unnecessary.

He had thought about leaving early on the pretext of physical discomfort, but he stayed until the end of the party. He didnt know why he wanted to torture himself. He watched Roland and the many Beta and Omega men and women joking around him. Even Typhoeus, who had always been cold, was amused by his jokes. He could see how popular the Alpha was, so how could such a popular man take a fancy to himself alone?

Ethan felt confused and had suddenly lost all sense of security. He wanted to grasp onto Roland, but he didnt know what to do.

When the party finally ended, Ethan brought a few people as usual to help the hotel staff clean up the venue. He was busy until 2 a.m., when he wore his overcoat and gloves, wrapping himself tightly before stepping into the cold air outside the gate with his head down. Winter in the space station was incredibly cold. He just wanted to go home and bury himself in his soft bedding, wrapped up layer by layer. But when he went back to his spacecraft, he suddenly found a man standing in front of him.

It was Roland.

Can you take me in for the night? the man asked with a charming smile.

Ethan allowed him to get onto his spacecraft and turned on the automatic navigation system in the drivers seat. The spacecraft automatically ascended into the air and quickly glided down the space stations long street that was still bustling, even at night. Ethan did not speak much and looked solemnly out of the window, staring in silence at the bright neon lights.

Unhappy? Roland asked.

No, I must have drank too much. I feel dizzy.

You are unhappy. I can see that. Rolands blue eyes gazed at him quietly, and he asked, Is it because Yanni and I attended the party together?

Roland had poked his sore spot. Ethan felt something stuck in his throat, and he felt the urge to punch the man in front of him. Did he need to ask?? Did he think that Ethans heart was made of steel and that he wouldnt get jealous?

However, he felt that he was in no position to say that.

Although they were secretly lovers, no one knew about it. Ethan didnt even tell his family. This always made him feel that his relationship with Roland could end at any time.

He knew that Roland would leave the Earth Union one day and that they would have to part. Their so-called relationship could only last until then. Ethan thought that he didnt mind. Nowadays, who dated just to get married? Wasnt it that everyone would merely meet by chance, get together after having a favorable impression of each other, and once the spark between them diminished, they would part?

That was why he felt that he had no reason for his temper to flare up.

Its none of my business who you bring to dinner.

Although he wanted to utter that out calmly, he sounded so sour.

Roland suddenly took Ethans hand and placed it on his thigh before gently squeezing it. We are just friends. He said that he didnt have a partner for today, and neither did I. That was why we just decided to head over together. I looked at you the entire time, but I did not dare to go to you. Your Earth Unions moral system is too scary, and Im always afraid that it will implicate you.

Ethan snorted and had just wanted to make a sarcastic remark, but suddenly something occurred. It seemed that there was something wrong with an aircraft in front, and it forcibly changed lanes and collided with the aircraft in front of them. A sharp alarm sounded in Ethans aircraft, and the autopilot system began to brake, but it was too late. They collided with the two aircrafts in front of them.

At that moment, he could only hear Roland shout something, and he suddenly jumped up, pulling Ethan tightly into his arms. Then came a violent shock. Ethan heard a loud noise and hit his head heavily on the glass before losing consciousness.

He didnt get any severe injuries from the traffic accident, just a few stitches on his forehead. Obviously, most of the impact had been absorbed by Roland. The Alpha broke a leg, and it would take him more than a month to walk again.

Ethan no longer cared whether others would gossip, and even if it meant abandoning his work, he would rush to the hospital every day. He brought Roland food and would help him go to the bathroom to wash up. He even got some books from his own house for him to relieve his boredom. Roland said with a smile that if he had known that this would happen, he would have broken his leg earlier so that he would be able to lead such a carefree life with everything provided for him.

However, Ethan couldnt laugh at his joke. He could still clearly remember the tautness of Rolands body as it surrounded him tightly, blocking the impending disaster for him. He still remembered that when he saw Roland in the hospital, unconscious and covered with blood, his heart felt like it had been torn apart by pain, fearing for Rolands life.

He had never been so afraid of losing a man. Ethan was well aware that even when he had learned that his mother had gotten cancer, he had not felt such an intense fear.

It was the accident that made Ethan realize that he had fallen in love with Roland. He wanted to be with him as his rightful partner.

After Roland was discharged from the hospital, the plaster on his leg had not been completely removed. To take care of him, Ethan took Roland to his home for a while. Everything seemed to be as usual in the Energy Bureau, but the director called him to the office and asked why Roland was in his car when the accident happened and why rumors had spread that Roland had moved into his home. Ethan lied and said that Roland had lent his aircraft to a friend that day, so he kindly decided to send Roland home. Taking care of Roland at his home was to repay him for saving his life. The director just nodded and asked him to pay attention to his words and deeds. He then began to discuss sending the next batch of researchers to Mars to continue Project Zero with him. He told Ethan to sort out a dozen research results reports from Mars and summarize them into a key report. He would report it to the state council on a later day. When Ethan received the documents, it was already 10 oclock at night. The director was in a hurry for the document and said that he needed it by tomorrow, but there was a patient at Ethans home who could not walk and hadnt eaten yet Ethan hesitated for a moment before deciding to take the information home and sort it there.

Ethan had never done such a thing before because of how guarded Project Zero was. It should never have left the directors office. However, he thought that it was just the last few copies. Besides, the smart computer at his home was heavily encrypted and was very secure, so there should not be any problem. He then stored the information in his portable hard drive and called a taxi to go home.

In the distant future, after the truth came to light, Ethan speculated that it might have been during that time that Roland somehow cracked his encryption program after he fell asleep and obtained his identification number and password. He then began to collect research materials about Project Zero and sent them back to the Ophiuchus Alliance.

Ethan even began to wonder, was that accident really an accident?

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