Everyone Else Has a System

"Ziana… who are you… if you don't mind me asking… who are you to me?" I asked i a dry voice as I looked at her with a slightly curious expression.

Perhaps things have been going on for a long time that I felt like there was more to Ziana that I have seen up until now. The way she took care of me as if I were her own child, the fact that she was the one who unlocked my emotion of sadness.

It wasn't just that, but… she cried when I cried; she felt the pain that I felt… I felt a comfort looking at her even in the most desperate times. I felt safer… I felt better…

I felt like I was fine here. Everything was fine here…

"Well. Even if I wanted to tell you, you probably won't understand. Though, you will understand everything and if I am not wrong, then that day is not far away either… so all you need to do is to survive and one day… you will find out everything," she spoke with a slight sad smile before she stood up and spoke,

"Well, can I ask you something ****?" She made a request, and I observed her before nodding.

"Can you hug me once more?" she asked and I, even though confused, nodded at her before standing up and then moving towards her, I hugged her.

"Hug me tightly," she spoke, and I did that as she too hugged me back tightly. I wanted to know what she was trying but then she started speaking.

"The future is going to be hard ****. Be more brave. Take care of your friends, find a good girl to marry, have a beautiful life. If you feel like it is too much, you can let go as well. Just take care of yourself better this time…"

She started speaking, and I kept listening as she continued,

"You are going to face a lot of difficult choices, so be brave and take more care of yourself. You might feel lost many times in your life, but be brave and trust yourself, okay?

Many things will be revealed to you, so I want you to be calm about it too. Be careful how you deal with every situation…

Take more rest. Eat more. Always have a good rest, okay? Try to be happier… also, don't fall for the wrong girl, okay?

I will miss you, you know, and it is going to be hard to go on without you and I know that it will be hard for you as well, but it is fine… this is how life works, I guess. Perhaps someday we will see each other again. Who knows?

In any case, if you are going to have kids, then I want their names to be Azure if it is a girl and Dylan if it is a boy. Say to your wife or wives that they better take care of you or else I will return just to haunt them as a ghost…" I noticed that her body was slowly vanishing and tears were running through my eyes as I realised something… something very crucial…

"Mother?" I asked, and she stopped speaking for a while…

"Yes, son… take better care of yourself, love… " she spoke before she vanished completely and I just kept staring in space at the empty garden in front of me….

I… lacked words to describe my emotions… I felt not just empty but devastated… how much of an idiot was I to realise this so late…

["You are going to face a lot of choices, so be brave and take more care of yourself. You might feel lost many times in your life but be brave and trust yourself, okay?"]

Each of her words started echoing in my mind… everything she ever spoke started coming back to me

["Sadness. Sadness. Go away!]

I felt like I was dying inside when I realised what I had just…

["Did that help a little?"]

Why was it so hard to connect the dots? Why did I not realise it up until now?

["You look much better than before… would you like to eat something? I made it with my own hands."]

I looked around to see a bit more of the food she made and hurriedly ran towards it. I took it in my hands and looked at it as if it were the most precious thing that I had ever seen in my entire life.

It was my mother's cooking… my own mother's… something that I had desired for all my life… Something that I craved for… my own mothers… my mother's.. My mother's cooking…

Tears began falling out of my eyes as I looked at that food and my insides felt like they were churning painfully…

Slowly and Slowly I took a small bite out of the food and ate it, trying to feel the flavour of it… each and every bit of it… I tried feeling and absorbing every bit of it…

The rest, I kept in my dimensional storage safely in a corner before I lay on my back as I tried holding myself in this place…

"Should I kill myself?" I asked but…

["Well… I guess now that I know everything about you… I think I am quite satisfied with how you lived your life. I am proud of you ****"]

["It is all right. Take it in… feel it… don't reject your own emotions… accept it… ****... I trust you… I believe if it is you, then you can do it…"]

["The future is going to be hard ****. Be more brave"]

["I will miss you, you know, and it is going to be hard to go on without you and I know that it will be hard for you as well, but it is fine… this is how life works, I guess. Perhaps someday we will see each other again. Who knows?"]

I recalled what mother told me and I sighed as I realised how she knew exactly how I would react…

"Perhaps…. I will see you again… I wonder if I can find or create a spell to find you…" I cling to hope without any base or anything… it was a simple small hope that was almost impossible to do, but… maybe… I wonder.

Tears were still falling out of my eyes but I was better than before… If I can meet my mother twice… then I will meet her again as well.

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