EPIC Side Story: Dragon Ball

Chapter 23: Bravado

As the name implied, Mushroom Forest was dominated by massive, tree-sized mushrooms that seemed to stretch out towards the horizon. Unlike normal mushrooms, however, the mushrooms of Mushroom Forest were rock solid near the base and remarkably springy near the top.

In the distant past, long before the reign of King Picollo, people had used the Mushroom Forest like an extreme sports playground. It required a bit of skill, but, so long as you had sufficient finesse and adequate equipment, it was possible to bound from one mushroom to another as if they were giant trampolines.

Though King Picollo had been defeated three hundred years prior, humanity was still in the process of a slow and gradual recovery. The crazed Namekian had gone around wrecking cities and hunting humans for sport. Were it not for the sacrifice of Master Mutaito, Roshi's former teacher, the human race would have been pushed to the brink of extinction and reduced to slaves.

Fortunately, though they had been forced to endure severe hardships in the interim, the destruction wrought by King Picollo wasn't without its silver lining. The near-destruction of the human race had brought an end to nearly every conflict driven by race, religion, greed, and political fear-mongering. As a result, people of all races, religions, and backgrounds had banded together with the common goal of surviving, rebuilding, and ultimately prospering.

Now, three hundred years after the destruction wrought by King Picollo, the people of Earth had become so tolerant of one another that pills capable of changing a person's gender and race had been created without any significant backlash. There had even been a craze ten years ago where millions of people, captivated by the notion of becoming Animal-Type Earthlings consumed a pill known as Animorphaline.

By consuming a single, tick-tack-sized pill, a human's genetic code could be altered in such a way that the changes in their genome would be passed on to their descendants. It was even possible to determine which animal you ended up as by having a DNA and blood test prior to consuming the pill. As a result, nearly 17% of the global population had become Animal-type Earthlings as it made survival in some of the more inhospitable climates of Earth much easier.

With even the 'King of Earth' having consumed the pill, subsequently becoming a Dog, it wasn't an exaggeration to say that Animorphaline was remarkably popular for those who wanted to spice up their lives and experience something new…

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Aiming for the massive clearing located near the center of Mushroom Forest, it wasn't long before Vahn, Sarina, and Goku found themselves in an extremely arid region whose only landmark was a massive, predominately sand-colored castle.

With architecture reminiscent of Arabian and Egyptian cultures, complete with a pyramid base, said castle would have stood out as a marvel of ancient and modern engineering. Unfortunately, nearly half the castle currently lay in ruin. As for the culprit, she was currently sunbathing atop the chassis of the Model Tiamat, her developing yet remarkably mature body on full display as she relaxed in little more than a bikini and sunglasses…

Teleporting over to the destroyed section of the castle with Sarina in tow, Vahn was unsurprised to find the wreckage of a peculiar blue, pink, and green robot littering the area. The differently colored sections had once represented individual mecha, but, due to the creator's obsession with retro cartoons and transformation sequences, they were able to change shape to form a single, massive robot.

Unfortunately, said robot may as well have been a cheap action figure against the much larger and exponentially more powerful Imperial Dragon. Bulma had plucked away its limbs like the petals of a flower. Once she ran out, she forcefully separated them before threatening to give their bodies the same treatment if they attempted to run away.

Powerless against the overwhelming might of the Model Tiamat, the trio, consisting of an imp-like man with blue skin, a raven-haired woman that could best be described as an Eastern femme-fatale, and a petite man resembling a chubby Shiba-inu remained confined to their cockpits. With the tail of the Model Tiamat contracting whenever they attempted an escape, there was little they could do but wait patiently for their fates to be decided.

"I see you took care of things on this end…"

Hearing Vahn's words, Bulma was startled to a seated position. When she saw him standing next to Sarina, the latter wearing little more than yoga pants and a sports bra, a faint yet ill-tempered snort emanated from her nose as she retorted, "You sure took your sweet time. I was beginning to believe you wouldn't show."

Though she hadn't considered for a moment that Vahn might not show, that didn't prevent Bulma from complaining. Fortunately, this was the last stop on their journey to collect the Dragon Balls. If she was lucky, they would be West City and celebrating before nightfall. Then, after decompressing for a bit, she could begin implementing the plans she had drafted since her engagement with Vahn.

Shifting his attention to the buxom blunette, Vahn was unsurprised to find Bulma leaning forward in a way that showed off her faintly tanned breasts. He rewarded her expectations with a brief glance, but, instead of gawking, he quickly met her sapphirine gaze, answering, "There was a minor incident we'll need to discuss once we're finished here. Have you recovered the last Dragon Ball…?"

Shaking her head, Bulma restrained her curiosity as she pointed towards the smallest of the three robots, the blue one, as she explained, "Nah. I figured it would be safer to wait until you arrived. I do know where it's at, though. That little blue-skinned man has it."

Responding to Bulma's accusation, the external speaker of the blue robot hissed to life as a shrill, high-pitched voice answered, "Lies! Slander! I've never even heard of these magical, wish-granting balls you speak of…!"

Scoffing in response to the imp-like man's excessively expository remark, Bulma used her [REquip] System to don something more appropriate than a bikini before having the Model Tiamat lower her to the ground. Then, despite knowing Vahn could sense the Dragon Balls, she walked over with the Dragon Radar, dangling it in front of petite imp's blast shield as she said, "Nice try, loser. Now, hand it over before I show you what real violence looks like."

Rather than abiding by Bulma's demand, the imp-like man popped open the hatch of his robot with a ludger-like pistol in hand. Under normal circumstances, this would have terrified Bulma, but, now that she had a literal God as a fiance, she adopted a cheeky smile with only a hint of nervousness in her expression.

Though he was a little unnerved by Bulma's reaction, the diminutive imp placed a bit of pressure on the trigger as he stammered, "I-If you know what's good for you, you'll hand over your Dragon Balls and that monster of a machine! I'm in a forgiving mood today so I could be convinced to let you go if you're obedient!"

With the look on Bulma's face showing ridicule rather than fear, veins bulged at the imp-like man's temples as he shouted, "You ungrateful wench! How dare you mock the Great Emperor Pilaf!? Let's see you smile with a bullet between your eyes…!"

Without waiting for Bulma's response, the imp-like man, self-proclaimed Emperor Pilaf, pulled the trigger to his pistol several times over. This caused a series of clicks to echo through the destroyed throne room. The first few caused Bulma's body to tense, but, realizing both the chamber and click were empty, a rather vicious smile developed across her face as she sent the diminutive man back into his cockpit with a punch before shouting, "Emperor my foot…!" as she stomped his face and hands with the heel of her foot.

Though Bulma was well within her right to seek vengeance after Pilaf attempted to shoot her in the face, her foreknowledge that nothing would happen made her reaction unnecessarily violent. Thus, the moment she had kicked the petite man the exact number of times he had fired, Vahn appeared next to her, saying, "That's enough…" in a soft yet firm tone.

Feeling calmer the moment Vahn wrapped his arms around her body, Bulma's adrenaline-fueled frenzy gradually ceased. In its wake, her body trembled violently for several seconds, but, thanks to Vahn, even that faded away as he held her head to his chest and gently caressed her back.

Sensing that she had calmed down, Vahn relaxed his hold on Bulma's body, his tone gentle and soothing as he asked, "You okay…?"

Too ashamed to look Vahn in the eye, Bulma lightly headbutted his chest before complaining, "You could have made the gun disappear instead of making the chamber empty…"

Nodding his head, Vahn softly replied, "You're right…" in the same soothing tone as before. This left Bulma feeling at a momentary loss for words, as, rather than feeling vindicated by his response, she felt even greater shame. After all, there was nothing requiring her to step forward and confront Pilaf herself. She had just wanted to show off…

If Vahn hadn't taken the initiative to remove the bullets from Pilaf's gun, Bulma would currently be sporting ten holes in her head. She was far from bulletproof, so, even if the pistol was a relatively low caliber, it wouldn't have had any trouble penetrating her skull. As a gun fanatic, Bulma was well aware of this, so, the moment Pilaf pulled the trigger, she had nearly peed herself from fright…

Feeling the chaotic and not-so-subtle fluctuations in Bulma's aura, Vahn continued to hold her for several minutes without saying a word. She was a remarkably intelligent woman, so, as long as she had the time, she could sort things out. If he tried to speed the process, there was an exceptionally high probability that his words would have the opposite effect. This was something he had learned after associating with quite a number of prideful women, so, while Sarina and Goku handled tying up Pilaf's crew and assembling the Dragon Balls, he remained by Bulma's side until she was the one to say, "I'm okay now…"

Giving her one last squeeze, Vahn released Bulma from his embrace before smiling affectionately in response to her staring up at him with a visible blush on her cheeks. He knew she wanted to thank him, but, as a result of her pride, the words couldn't quite make their way to her lips. Instead, Vahn bent down to claim them for himself, startling the befuddled blunette back to her sense.

Pulling away before she could get too hot and bothered, Vahn gave Bulma's cheek a gentle caress as he asked, "Shall we go and summon the dragon? Even if you've lost interest in this journey, it's a sight you wouldn't want to miss. I guarantee it."

Unable to find the words to convey her current emotions, Bulma just nodded her head in response to Vahn's invitation. When he subsequently grabbed her hand, the blush on her face threatened to extend into her ears, as, despite turning seventeen in a few months, she had never so much as held a boy's hand. Her father and the boys from her preschool obviously didn't count, so, even though this was actually the second time Vahn had held her hand, Bulma's heart raced as she cemented it as one of their firsts…

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(A/N: Alternate Titles: 'So, you're telling me the solution to most of the world's problems is to push humanity to the brink of extinction? Naruhodo…','Giga Chad Model Tiamat vs. Beta Pilaf Machine','A woman's heart and mind are as complex as a rubix cube with constantly changing color panels…')

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