Dungeons and Dalliances

3.13 – Kitchen Duty

Bright and early the next morning, after a quick, cold breakfast, Natalie attended to her punishment: kitchen duty.

Their team hadn’t been the only one sentenced to it. Unsurprisingly, a significant portion of the freshmen student base had overstayed their dungeon first run. Five hours from class end to curfew didn’t leave much time to get anything done, and pushing for more had gotten them caught. Real delves took a full day at least. The smaller week-day ones were plenty for earning experience, though. Both the literal sort and the class-based sort. And monster-core farming, which, while not the only way to start working toward credits and gear, was definitely the predominant method.

The looks of muted outrage amused Natalie. Conforming to how Tenet ran every other aspect of the campus, status of birth didn’t exempt princes and princesses from cleaning floors and scrubbing dishes. Some were less happy about that than others. None looked pleased, but to be fair, that was probably because who would be pleased attending kitchen duty this early in the morning? Natalie certainly wasn’t. Only some of their indignation came from their noble status, and the rest of it, from a mundane source.

There were three cafeterias scattered through campus, and the good news was, she did get assigned to the same one as Jordan. The bad news was that things were hectic enough there weren’t many opportunities to talk. Though, one did eventually come. Scrubbing dutifully away with hand-brushes, on their knees, they found a chance to chat.

“You think they’d give us a mop, at least,” Natalie grumbled. “This is so inefficient.”

“I get the feeling efficiency isn’t the point,” Jordan said. “They have actual staff for that.”

“Still.” Being put to work was one thing, but being put to busy work was another.

A few moments passed, rough bristles scratching away at tile.

“So,” Jordan said. “Explanation time?”

Natalie sighed, knowing it had been coming. She’d even been looking forward to it; she wanted to get the ordeal off her chest. Still, she couldn’t be wholly excited to detail all the bizarre stuff that had gone on, yesterday.

“Which part should I start with?”

“How about why you snuck a core out?”

“Because it’s full of potions of infertility.”

The scrubbing stopped. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“Infertility?”

“Yup.”

“Okay,” Jordan said slowly, drawing the word out. “And how did that happen?”

“Remember the ‘trap’ I fell into?”

“Could hardly forget.”

“Not so much a trap.”

“Kay?”

“More of an encounter.”

“Of … a different type?”

“Very sticky sort, yeah.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning I got shown a very good time by an excited mass of vines.”

Jordan stared at her.

“And once it was done having its way with me,” Natalie said, “I was rewarded with practically a bathtub’s worth of infertility potions. The dungeon cares about my career, I guess. How considerate.”

For a long moment, Jordan didn’t respond. Natalie didn’t blame her for that.

Finally, Jordan shook her head to clear it.

“That’s a lot to take in.”

“Tell me about it.”

“So when are we testing it?”

“Testing what?”

“The potion. If it works. Next session?”

It took several seconds to piece together the meaning of the words.

When she did, her mouth dropped open, and she gaped at her friend. Seeing sparkling green eyes, she flushed and returned to her scrubbing.

“Stop teasing,” Natalie growled, adjusting her skirt, which had, at the imagery produced by Jordan’s suggestion, suddenly grown strained. “You’re going to get me caught. This thing isn’t as easy to hide anymore.”

“That is a problem,” Jordan admitted, sparing a glance at it. “But I think I’ll take the risk. It’s too much fun making you blush.”

“I’m sure it is.”

“And,” Jordan said, “I like seeing it. It’s a reminder of what I get to play with, tonight.”

“Jordan.”

“Look. It’s getting even bigger. You’re right. It really doesn’t hide well, anymore.”

Natalie scrubbed the floor, pointedly ignoring her friend, and the unwieldy bulge in her skirt. Really. When this thing had been six inches, it had been troublesome. At eight, she hadn’t a clue how her secret would remain a secret.

Though maybe that wasn’t the goal. While mortifying, the truth getting out would make romantic encounters simpler. Rather than having to explain it to each partner.

“I think we can trust the potion does what it says,” Natalie said.

“But you don’t want to make sure?”

“Jordan.”

“What’s a creampie between friends?”

“Jordan!” Natalie said, scandalized.

“Okay, okay,” Jordan laughed. “Putting aside how insane the … vine stuff … is. And the potion. It’s not ideal that you had to hide the reward.”

“Don’t like stealing from the team, that’s for sure.”

“Especially since you might get more in the future. Doubt it’s one-off.”

“Yeah.”

“I get why you did it, though.”

“Doesn’t make it right.”

“You could tell them?”

“Think that’s smart?”

“I would wait until we formalize as a group. But once we do, you might want to. Probably for the best.”

“And I can get even, then. Pay everyone back?”

Jordan bobbed her head in agreement. “Maybe that’s not even necessary. You could make claim to it. It’s an item suited to your class that you need. Those types of drops are exceptions to standard splits. The same if we had found a rapier for Sofia, or something.”

“Yeah.” Natalie wrinkled her nose. “I’ll figure it all out later. Feel bad about it, though.”

Jordan made a noise of agreement. That she condoned what Natalie had done eased some of her guilt, though not all of it.

“So,” Jordan said. “Other big topic. Sleeping gods and goddesses.”

In the ridiculousness of the vine event, she’d almost forgotten about that.

At the same time …

“Dunno. You think it meant anything?”

“You don’t?”

“Seems far-fetched.”

“Your class is far-fetched. So was the encounter with the Bestower, from what you told me.”

“You’re not wrong.” She chewed her lip. “But what can we do about any of it? Say the dungeon did feed us accurate information. That the Architect is harvesting our old gods’ powers to fuel the system, and the goddess of lust is waking first—and that’s why I got my class.” Put into words, it sounded even more absurd. “So what? What could we do about any of it?”

“Dunno,” Jordan said. “Ought to at least look into it, right?”

“I’ve got about a million other things to deal with,” Natalie said. “Not that I disagree, but come on. It’s not high priority.”

“The fate of the world isn’t high priority?”

Natalie raised her eyebrows at Jordan.

“Not that I think that’s what’s happening,” Jordan admitted. “Or that I’m sold on the premise in the first place. But putting even ‘looking into it’ as low priority feels unjustified.”

“When I have time,” Natalie said, rubbing her forehead with the back of her hand. “I’m not ignoring, ignoring it. Just, like I said, I have other stuff going on.”

“That’s fair. If I have a spare moment, I’ll see if I can find anything, too.”

“Thanks.”

“Okay,” Jordan said, lips quirking up. “Less crazy topics. We’ve finished our first run. Gonna have a flow of cores, soon, which means tokens. What’s our plan there?”

“Getting a place to stay is number one, still? It’s only been a week, but I’ve had enough public housing to last a lifetime.”

“The restrooms are getting old, too,” Jordan said wryly. She paused. “Speaking of, are we sharing a bed?”

Natalie’s scrubbing stilled. “Uh?”

“Might as well, right? Cheaper, and it means I won’t have to sneak into your room each night. Less chance of getting caught by Sofia.”

“That’s … not … a terrible idea?”

Jordan raised an unimpressed eyebrow at Natalie. “Having me there to take care of you each night, every night, in our own bed, isn’t ‘a terrible idea’?”

“I just meant …”

“And there she is, again,” Jordan said, smirking as nodded toward Natalie’s crotch. “She disappeared for a moment. Glad to see her.”

Natalie adjusted her skirt, trying to make it less obvious, then glared at Jordan. “What happened to you? What’s with all this teasing?”

“Like I said, when it’s so easy to make you blush, how am I supposed to help myself?”

Natalie huffed. She was supposed to be the confident one. Since when did Jordan take that role?

“So …?” Jordan prompted. “Same bed?”

“If you want to.”

Jordan rolled her eyes. “Sound so enthusiastic, you’ll make me think you want me.”

“I’m just worried about how much you’re doing. You’ve already done enough.”

“Thoughtful as always,” Jordan said with a snort. “Well, if you want to say thanks, you could always … I don’t know. Wake me up the fun way, here and there?”

Natalie’s brain stumbled a few steps.

“I might take you up on that offer,” she said.

“You better.”

They scrubbed away at the floor, ignoring their exchange, as if she hadn’t just agreed to wake Jordan up with morning oral sex as soon as they moved in.

You know, best-friend stuff.

Natalie cleared her throat, then adjusted her skirt. “Anyway, we’ll check out the housing situation some time this week. But other stuff we’ll do with credits?”

“Gear, obviously.”

“And shampoo,” Natalie said. “And clothes. And the whole list. Can’t believe they make you buy everything.”

They’d been allowed to bring starting supplies, but the two-week mark, which approached rapidly, meant most of it would be purged, and they’d need to start buying from Tenet. Clothes, cleaning supplies, and delving gear alike. They took their ‘local ecosystem’ approach deadly serious.

“Hurts us a lot less than them, at least,” Jordan said.

That was true. Ninety percent of the student base was filthy rich, and if not that, sponsored by people who were.

So by that regard, they were as well off as anyone.

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