Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food

Chapter 27 - Lemon Flavored Film Emperor Gong (6): Cute Male God~~ Current favorability value: +69

Translator: SilverRain

Editors: Amaris, Grump

A tiny content warning for this chapter. It has a few scenes that are somewhat similar to the current pandemic situation.

#WE Talk: On the rise of a budding star!#

In this era of entertainment, getting a hundred responses meant you were a failure, ten thousand responses wasn’t anything special, a hundred thousand responses meant your efforts had paid off, and a place on the purple list demonstrated your overwhelming talent!

In less than a day, Gou Liang’s WE blog attracted 30 million fans. He was sent straight to #1 on the HOT list after He ChongFeng described him as ‘cute’.

After their initial excitement wore off, some fans calmed down enough to think.

“This newcomer’s journey upwards looks slightly familiar!”

“A reference to the old Teddy’s road to becoming a star ♂.”

“It’s not the same, okay? Back when he was on the white list, Teddy became famous when he got into an argument with several yellow and orange list stars!”

“Do you want to know the truth? Pointing to the cute newbie’s related artists list!”

“He’s only related to my Feng and the teddy next door. Emma, don’t you think this equation’s kind of cute?! Can’t stop my brain from filling in 30,000 words, I’m going to jerk off!”

“User upstairs, remember to send me tickets!”

“I heard he’s seriously loaded!”

“Who’s this guy’s father?”

“I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. If my Feng says he’s cute then I think he’s cute too!”

“《War》 fan passing by, looking forward to the newcomer’s performance.”

“Am I the only one who noticed his agent?”

“Wen Wu-Ge… this is going to be a mess! ￣口￣”

“Wen Wu-Ge… this little newcomer is bound to become hot! I’ll follow him now!”

&#k2026;&#k2026;..

Various discussions about Gou Liang erupted on the WE blog. Zhao Bin was skilled at manipulating public opinion. Cute newbie Gou Liang would remain a hot topic for quite some time.

Right now, the 《Agent of War》 filming was also becoming increasingly tense.

====== 《Agent of War》 Scene 9, shot 5, take 1. Action↓↓ ======

Outside the ICU.

The man slowly approached his wife, who was sleeping on the armrest of the recliner. He took off his coat and gently covered her shoulders. The woman wasn’t sleeping deeply, so she quickly woke up. She smiled after seeing who it was: “You came?”

That smile, however, had a fog of tiredness that couldn’t be dispersed.

A hint of pain flashed in the man’s eyes, but he showed an easy smile and raised the takeout bag in his hand. “Granny Chen’s little wontons! Quickly eat it while it’s still hot.”

Seeing the surprise on his wife’s face, the man’s eyes suddenly became much softer. He walked towards the hospital room door to look through the narrow glass window at his daughter who was in the ICU.

Because of a shoddy batch of gas masks sold by SB Company, his daughter became one of the victims of the polluted air outside. Although her life was saved, the doctors discovered that her immune system had been compromised. She was so weak that even a gas mask wouldn’t be enough to protect her from the PM toxins in the air. Even if she woke up, she would most likely spend the rest of her life in quarantine as the outside world would be deadly for her.

The man pressed his lips into a thin line as he thought about the doctor’s words and what they meant for his daughter who dreamed of freedom, to one day travel around the world like a toxin-resistant mutant bird.

How could he bear to let his daughter live like a pitiful caged bird?

His wife came to him and touched his arm with a forced smile as she tried to comfort him, “The doctor said today that she is recovering well. Soon she’ll be off from the ventilator. Everything can only get better from here…”

The man wrapped his arms around her shoulders and said, gently but firmly, “It’s going to be okay… I promise.”

In this moment, he made up his mind.

He would accept the organization’s mission to retrieve Medication X and give his daughter a world where she could soar free.

……..

======&#k300J;Agent of War&#k300K; Scene 101, shot 5, take 1. Action&#k2193;&#k2193;======

Captain asked the aloof Yu Gao, “What do you think the meaning of human life is?”

“Meaning?” Yu Gao scoffed, “Why do people have to live a meaningful life? So what if there is meaning, and so what if there isn’t? Don’t you think that’s a ridiculous question? And what is the meaning of your life? Wearing a gas mask to and from work every day like those poor bastards? Working with those wearing mask A and serving customers wearing mask B to earn a modest salary to afford a 30-square-foot confined room for your wife and children?”

“Humans are creatures who can endure an hour of pain for one second of pleasure. There’s always an upside that will make you hesitant to be disappointed with life.”

“Well, I’m sorry to say that that doesn’t apply to me.”

……..

====== 《Agent of War》 Scene 153, shot 200, take 1. Action↓↓======

In the cramped little room, the six agents who had just gone through their first skirmish were gathered. They were:

The male lead who was codenamed Captain, Yu Gao who was codenamed GOD, codename Capital A, codename Old Eagle, Gaping Ghost and Black Widow.

“Old Eagle, can you still go on?”

Capital A pulled on the bandage as he tightly tied it off. Old Eagle grimaced because of the wound on his arm: “I wouldn’t keel over from this.”

Black Widow: “Use more disinfectant spray on me, do you think it’s perfume?!”

Capital A: “You should actually try using it before babbling nonsense!”

Gaping Ghost: “Captain, the tracker is moving!”

That said, the team members who were patching each other up and Yu Gao—who was incongruously leaning against the wall with eyes closed and his gun—looked over. Captain, who was standing at a distance smoking, stomped out his cigarette and came over.

After following its trail, they found that Medication X was eventually delivered to SB Company’s secret base—in order to keep the gas masks and disinfectant sprays in circulation for a long time, SB wouldn’t allow anyone to change the current world situation that was very profitable for them.

The special forces team lost their first battle, but they managed to put a tracker on Medication X. Now it was time for their second operation to begin.

……..

====== 《Agent of War》 Scene 293, shot 80, take 1. Action↓↓ ======

The shootout took place in the illegal underground research facility. The cold and metallic building interior was filled with grazing sparks and ear-piercing sounds from the gunfire.

Yu Gao pushed Gaping Ghost away and fired a shot back, but he was hit on the leg. Only after making sure his target was dead did he hold his leg and shout at Gaping Ghost, who was a technician unsuitable for combat. “You go first, I’ll cover you.”

“But your injuries—”

“Get a fucking move on!”

Yu Gao pulled a gun from his leg and tossed it to him for self-protection. He dragged his wounded leg over behind the corner for cover, ready to take aim at his pursuers.

……..

====== 《Agent of War》 Scene 298, shot 80, take 1. Action↓↓ ======

By the time Captain and Gaping Ghost obtained the drug and rejoined Yu Gao, the other three had already perished in battle.

Yu Gao was also no longer able to hold on due to wounds that were severely infected with the toxin.

“Stay alive and don’t give up! We’ve got Medication X! Everything’s going to be okay!” Captain looked at the fading life that was younger than himself and held him tightly in grief. “Hang on, don’t you want to see the world as it used to be? Let’s go together… Yu Gao! Hold on, help is coming!”

Gaping Ghost wiped his tears as he drove, “Captain! Why don’t we use Medication X…”

He couldn’t go on.

This was the only remaining sample of Medication X in the world. The materials needed to produce it had already been damaged. It was the only thing that could save Yu Gao’s life, but there was only one dose left.

“There’s no… need. My life… isn’t worth much anyways.” Yu Gao shook his head. “No… it’s okay. I’m not really looking forward to it after all… Haha… well, if that day ever comes, remember to burn a few pictures… for me.”

In the end, he died in Captain’s arms.

……..

====== 《Agent of War》 Scene 300, shot 25, take 1. Action↓↓ ======

Experts rejoiced as Medication X was put into circulation, only to discover that the substance that was supposed to purify the toxins was nothing more than a hallucinogenic stimulant that allowed people to live out their inner utopia……

Captain stood silently in the midst of the people who began to collapse mentally. In the end, he took off his hat and considered the item—in the bulletproof glass case—which had taken the life of his comrades and was his last hope to save his daughter. It seemed like a joke made by God himself. He pulled out his handgun—

Bang.

What this world needed wasn’t some imagined comfort, it was action!

……..

《Agent of War》was set in a future where the environment was heavily polluted. People lived in a world with heavily segregated houses and masks. No matter where they went, even in their own home, they had to first check the PM toxin meter on their wrist before taking off their masks. Agents were highly trained individuals who could remain unharmed after direct contact with the polluted air.

The script opened up with the story of an ordinary family of three—a father who worked as a car mechanic, a mother who worked as a cashier, and a lovely ten-year-old daughter.

After the daughter was poisoned, the family was destroyed. The ordinary man who was able to blend in perfectly with the world of ordinary people—able to endure customers stiffing him and his wife nagging him—began to show his true colors once again.

From another perspective, the plot could also be described as the story of how the male lead returned to the world he once left, to save his daughter.

He wasn’t the kind of all-powerful, womanizing and arrogant hero that people normally thought of. He was an ordinary guy who was trustworthy, gentle and strong.

This was exactly why the male lead was so charismatic.

Hidden behind the stunts and battles in 《Agent of War》 was an ironic and tragic educational film where even the narcissistic, arrogant and untamed characters had humanising elements. The audience might mail razor blades to the director when they saw that all the hard work and sacrifices built up throughout the film didn’t pay off, but the tragic ending only served to further highlight the director’s message: Don’t leave the problem of pollution to the future generations.

*

After Yu Gao’s role was over, Gou Liang still stayed at He ChongFeng’s villa, using the excuse of taking care of his male god.

He ChongFeng’s health had been restored to a full five stars, but luckily Film Emperor He’s ‘anorexia’ was still stubbornly present. He wouldn’t eat anything that wasn’t made by the little pear-dimpled streamer, which gave Gou Liang a good reason to stay: Ao, he never thought that anorexia could be so cute ≧o≦!

Film Emperor He’s inner little person: For the sake of those little pear dimples, even anorexia can be a good thing~~

The shooting of the movie was coming to an end. Actually, the post-production editing and special effects were the most time-consuming parts.

The health of Gou Liang’s body was automatically adjusted to a five-star state, but the continuous shooting still made him feel tired. On the other hand, He ChongFeng was full of energy every day to maintain the peak state of acting. Gou Liang could not help but admire his dedication.

Today, it was a rare day of rest for He ChongFeng.

Gou Liang had prepared a menu to treat his stomach yesterday, but He ChongFeng actually got up early in the morning. Gou Liang woke up to the sound of the System’s urging.

As soon as he opened his eyes, he saw that the mobile phone on the bedside table automatically turned on. A holographic baby with sleepy peach blossom eyes came out of the phone, blinking with tears in his eyes like he hadn’t woken up yet.

Gou Liang was immediately jerked awake.

When the movie was finished, Gou Liang did not arrange any other work for himself except for the occasional live broadcast in the kitchen. Zhao Bin had originally arranged some ads for him, but Gou Liang resolutely refused in order to keep his “place” in Film Emperor He’s household, which made his agent so angry his liver started to hurt. A sudden thought came to him out of boredom.

The target was a major blindspot for the system’s surveillance, but it shouldn’t be a problem to connect and interact with the holographic baby that He ChongFeng shared with him.

Although the process was a bit convoluted—System was sucked into a big blindspot after going into He ChongFeng’s phone. When its programmed eyes looked past it… it was all mosaics!!! It was only after Gou Liang made excuses to keep He ChongFeng some distance away from the phone amidst its wailing cries that it was rescued.

As the System repeatedly stressed in the sea of consciousness for its master to keep the target away from it in the future, it trembled as it passed through the layers of firewalls set up by He ChongFeng. Finally, it succeeded in synchronizing the holographic baby in He ChongFeng’s phone with Gou Liang’s.

Once He ChongFeng used it, the holographic baby in Gou Liang’s phone would also do the exact same thing.

Since getting this new skill, there was a new task in Gou Liang’s daily life—to watch Film Emperor He break character.

He would pull out his beloved phone and wake the cute holographic baby up for a face poke almost any spare time he had. He didn’t talk when he was tired, but whenever he had the energy, he would touch it and say the preset password to make the hologram baby say things like “Male god touch me”, “Little Fool likes you”, “Male god I want to make babies with you”… In short, he was never in a bad mood when he was with the holographic baby.

At this time, the “Little Fool” was wearing pajamas—this was Gou Liang’s first time seeing this costume.

It was a furry one-piece pajama with spots like a dog. Even included ears on the hat… Hehe, Film Emperor He had such refined tastes_(:зゝ∠)_.

“Good morning, Little Fool.”

He heard the low deep voice of the big blindspot in his ears. Then he looked at the holographic baby on the phone whose left cheek was deformed while it was actively presenting its right cheek…

Film Emperor He chuckled lightly. His enjoyment of poking little pear-shaped dimples was clear.

The willing holographic baby showed a sweet smile: “Male God, chirpy chirpy~”

He ChongFeng laughed even more joyfully.

Then the holographic baby began to undress—listening to the sounds, the big blindspot was doing the same. It stripped until even its little underpants were off. Then, out of nowhere, the holographic baby pulled out a little yellow duck underpants and lifted its little short legs in a very human-like fashion. It pulled the pants over itss left foot and then its right. Then, it obediently started putting on the little green army uniform… When did this thing get so many extra outfits?! It seemed that the mystery of what Technology King He had been doing on his computer all this time had been solved.

Gou Liang: …What a spicy sight.

After dressing on its own, the holographic baby tilted its face up proudly and said, “Male god, hug me, hug me~~”

Gou Liang saw the “Little Fool”, which was standing on the surface of the phone, make a hugging pose. It happily rubbed its little face against what seemed to be Film Emperor’s index finger—judging by the size and angle. The holographic baby’s black soft hair was stroked again and again. Its eyes squinted comfortably as it almost fell asleep.

By the time HeChongFeng had satisfied himself enough to go wash up, it was already five minutes later.

[Gou Liang: …Little Wanton, has my beauty faded with age? Am I an old hag now?]

[System: Huh?]

[Gou Liang sighed: Why would he rather jerk off to a holographic baby?]

[System: …Ding, current favorability value +50!]

[Gou Liang was furious: I didn’t know he was this kind of film emperor! He’s already done this and that to me! Is my purity only worth +50 favorability?!]

[System: But he didn’t… ⊙ω⊙]

[Gou Liang was even more furious: What are you talking about?!]

Humph. He already figured out He ChongFeng’s bizarre preferences.

The worst thing was that the gap between his inner and outer selves was extraordinarily large!

The first +30 favorability was because of the little pear dimples drawn on the mirror. The second +1 favorability was triggered because of the completion of the holographic baby’s love programming. The third +19 favorability was all from the holographic baby—how dare he not act on his impure intentions like the little strawberry and find an opportunity to boldly kiss him!! (┙>∧<)┙へ┻┻

But it’s okay!

If he doesn’t come to me, I’ll go to him!

And so….

Knock, knock.

The door to sin was opened. Film Emperor He—who was freshly dressed and ready to go to exercise—saw Gou Liang yawning outside the door with a little bit of water on the corner of his mouth. The other’s eyes curved and he smiled, “What do you want for breakfast, Male God?”

He ChongFeng slightly pursed his lips and suspiciously hid his hands behind his back. He said somewhat belatedly, “Wu… Anything’s good.”

Gou Liang tilted his head in an act of annoyance and said, “I want to eat black bean sauce noodles and soup-filled buns, but I also want to eat cream cake rolls and mango yogurt sago… Why don’t I make everything and we’ll each eat half of it?”

The more he thought about it, the more he felt that it was a good idea. His eyes shone brightly as he looked at He ChongFeng expectantly, making it hard to let him down.

As expected, after getting a positive answer, Gou Liang’s smile immediately brightened a little, letting him go to exercise without worry. Delicious food would be waiting for him afterwards~

After walking two steps away, Gou Liang suddenly turned back again.

He ChongFeng was still where he was, somewhat dazed as he looked at Gou Liang’s back. He came back to his senses and was about to ask Gou Liang if he had forgotten to ask something when he saw Gou Liang’s mouth curve as he suddenly leaned in towards him—

Just as Gou Liang was about to kiss He ChongFeng, he paused again and placed his index finger against his own lips. Then the warm fingertip landed on He ChongFeng’s lips.

He said, “Good morning, Male God. Muack~~”

He ChongFeng’s lips moved, but he had completely forgotten what he meant to say. Gou Liang withdrew his finger and ran off gleefully. He paused when he reached the stairs like he remembered something. He kissed the finger that was just on He ChongFeng’s lips. Like he had gained the upper hand, his little pear dimples appeared and his peach blossom eyes bloomed.

He ChongFeng almost felt his lips heat up. He still hadn’t reacted when Gou Liang fled down the stairs three steps at a time.

It took a long while before He ChongFeng could slow his rapid heartbeat and retreated back into the room. He pressed his back against the wall by the door and touched his lips with somewhat dull eyes, and then—he pulled out his phone and released the holographic baby again.

He touched it, poked it, and even deliberately enticed it to chirp at him. But….

It wasn’t the same.

That lovely smile, those warm fingertips and the indirect kiss possessed a kind of beauty that he couldn’t replicate no matter how much effort he put in.

He really wanted to poke those toasty little pear dimples. He really wanted to…kiss him kiss him kiss him!!!

[Ding, the target’s favorability value has been updated. Current favorability value: +69!]

[Gou Liang: I sure like this number! >< ]

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