Chapter 193: Chapter 193- Tears Of Regret
Silence completely engulfed the entire room. It was so quiet that the sound of a needle dropping on the ground could be heard at that moment. Talon stared wide-eyed at the girl in front of him.
For a moment, he couldn't comprehend what she said. After all, never did he expect to hear such a thing. But, a few seconds later, he regained his ability to think as he blinked. Still, he didn't immediately speak. After all, what could he say? The story he heard was insane.
"I killed her…" Hyun-Jae continued in a dark tone. "The image of my sister… laying on the ground, staring with wide eyes at me… Wide dead eyes… It's etched into my head for the rest of my life.
Whenever I close my eyes, I can see that moment as if I was there… I could see her blaming me, cursing me, and hating me even more for what I did…" Hyun-Jae's expression was so dark as she said every word that she seemed like a completely different person.
But, Talon knew that this was Hyun-Jae. Beyond the layer of a strong, cold, and confident leader, there was still a huge part of her that was broken… A part that still didn't move on and will probably never move on.
After all, witnessing the death of a family member was already a horrible thing. Causing that death was a whole different matter especially when her sister gave her a look full of hatred seconds before she died.
"I know I deserve this for what I did. But… I'm tired, Talon… I'm so tired… Every single moment of my life… She had been haunting me, making sure to remind me that I was the reason for it…" Tears streamed down her face like an endless torrent. No matter how much she tried to wipe them, they would continue moving down her face.
There weren't loud sobs or cries, just silent tears that sounded far more painful than anything Talon had heard.
"I wanted to apologize to her, even for a moment. I wanted to tell her that I regret every single moment I mistreated her. I wanted to apologize for pushing her. But, it still hurts, I still feel suffocated every time I think of it. When my parents realized what happened, they never looked at me the same again. Our relationship was completely ruined.
Every single time they see me, I could feel the hatred they bore toward me."
'So, that's why it changed. Her parents probably couldn't handle the loss as much as she did.'
"They still hid what happened from the public eye and protected me. But, perhaps as their way to take revenge, they put all the pressure of becoming a worthy heir on my shoulders. I lost all the time to play or rest. All I had left was expectations. I asked for forgiveness again and again and again, but that changed nothing. They rarely talked to me and even when they do, it's all harsh and cold words.
I had lost both my parents and my sister… And it's all my fault."
It was at that point that Hyun-Jae felt at the lowest point. She had mustered all the courage she could and told the story she hid from everyone. Nothing could be retracted now, she either would lose another dear person to her heart or she would gain him.
If the first one happened, Hyun-Jae had no idea what she would do. She knew that she could never handle losing Talon. Not even her resilient nature would handle that. He was the last person in her life that she truly could not fathom living without.
'I won't blame him if he gives up on me… I'm a murderer… This is my true nature.' Closing her eyes she waited for the harsh reality to slap her again.
But, at that moment, instead of a harsh coldness, she felt a comforting warmth wrap around her body. Opening her eyes quickly, she realized that Talon had hugged her without realizing it.
"I'm sorry…" Putting his hand behind her head, he murmured lowly.
Only two words, and yet, their impact is unbelievable on Hyun-Jae. Her hands slowly lifted up as she hugged him back. Tears never stopped streaming out of her eyes.
"Talon… What should I do?" She asked in a desperate, almost hopeless tone. She had never been more lost in her life. She wanted anything she could hold on to before she could fall deeper and deeper into the darkness and Talon seemed like the only person that she could grab onto. After all, only he had the biggest effect on her.
"You've already blamed yourself enough," Talon said with a pained expression. "I didn't know you lived through all of this."
As he spoke to her, he felt her grip on him tighter. Her fingers dug into his back with all her strength.
"It's my fault…"
"Mistakes happen, Hyun-Jae. You never wanted your sister to die."
"But I pushed her off the balcony… I did it…"
"And you destroyed yourself over it for years. You lived every day as if it was a nightmare to go through. You paid for that mistake enough."
"*Hick* She never forgave me…"
"It's true, you can't ask her for forgiveness anymore. But, you never ran away from the blame and you accepted that you made a mistake. I don't know whether that would really change your sister's mind wherever she is. But, I know for a fact that you aren't a horrible person. You're one of the kindest people I have ever met."
Hearing those heartfelt words, Hyun-Jae continued crying. She felt a mix of overwhelming happiness and sadness clash in her mind. She was relieved that Talon didn't hate her for what happened.
"Just give yourself a break. Didn't you talk to me about freedom? This is your time to be free. You aren't the same person anymore, Hyun-Jae. You deserve to live your life to the fullest. As for your parents, wherever they are now, I will make sure we find them and I will make them understand the huge mistake they're making by throwing their last daughter away."
"Why… You don't have to do all of this… For me…"
"No, I want to. The moment we became companions, anything that hurt you hurt me too. So, until the moment I see you smile carefreely without holding back, I will do anything I can to help you."
Then, Talon slowly pulled her away as he stared at her face. "I can help you and I will."
In his eyes, all Hyun-Jae could see was the hypnotizing charm he always had and the deeply rooted confidence he had in himself. It wasn't something different from what she usually sees whenever Talon looks at her and yet… At that moment, it seemed like she had reached an epiphany.
'Those eyes… Those same eyes…' Lifting her hands up, Hyun-Jae slowly traced her fingers across Talon's face. 'They're the ones that saved me once…'
Then, she slowly closed her eyes through the tears before she slowly moved her head forward. 'They have been my light in a world that adored darkness… Why didn't I realize this sooner?'
With each thought, her face grew closer and closer to Talon. Her heart raced quickly as her thoughts whitened. Every move she made at that moment was simply her soul talking. She didn't need to think what she could feel.
'I need him… I need him more than anything else… I want to feel him. I want to feel every part of him. I don't care anymore.'
Hyun-Jae basked in the sensation of Talon's arms wrapped around her body. She couldn't feel any happier being this close to him. Even if it meant nothing to him to hug her, it made the world to her.
The two grew closer and closer to each other. She could feel Talon's breath on her face. Inch by inch, their lips brushed over each other for a split second before a loud noise shook them from awake from their moment.
Looking down, Talon realized that his communication device was going off. Immediately, he pulled himself away and quickly picked it up. Hyun-Jae was still in a dazed state so she didn't react as fast.
"What is it?" Talon asked as he answered.
"Leader! Bad news! There is a group of monsters attacking the camp! There are at least a hundred! They're about to break in!"
The young frowned when he heard the news before he nodded his head. "I'm on my way, hold on for as long as you can." After that, he turned the device off and turned to Hyun-Jae.
"Can you move, Hyun-Jae?"
"Huh? Oh, y-yeah, ehem, I'm feeling better now." Wiping her tears, she quickly regained some of her composure.
Seeing that, Talon pursed his lips. "Let's talk more later, ok?"
With that, the two quickly rushed out of the house as fast as they could. Hyun-Jae ran a little bit slower than Talon as she seemed deep in thought.
'We were about to kiss… I felt his lips touch mine… If that didn't happen… We were really going to…' A bright red color appeared on her cheeks.
Then, she slowly lifted her hand and touched her lips dazedly. Even if she couldn't kiss him at that moment, that fleeting contact still made her heart almost stop.
(A//n: I know it's a bait to do that but I had to change my mind last second for a better idea XD but, I have other plans for these two so bear with me.)
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