Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

Hearing Rodriguez say that, saying that Oscar looked shocked to fuck was an understatement. Because not only did he prove he was in no way Asian due to how roundly enlarged his eyes, the motherfucker couldn't even squat with full depth as he had a panic attack-like event.

I thought for sure that he'd be jumping for joy or unloading several birdshots— err, buckshots in the fucking air, but the dumbass needed to sit down as he started to hyperventilate.

"K-KID! KID! KIDDDD! SHE'S COMING! S-SHE'S COMING!"

I tried my best to contain my laughter, "I heard, old man. She's finally—"

"OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! SHE'S FINALLY COMING! WHERE'S SHE GONNA STAY?! OH FUCK!

OH FUCK—"

"You have a house back home, alright?! Keep it together!"

"OH~ BRUDDA~! WHAT IF SHE SAW THE MESS?! THE HOUSE HASN'T BEEN C-CLEANED IN WEEKS! S-SHE'S GONNA KILL ME, KID! W-WHAT DO I DO?!"

"We're gonna call Aunt Sharon and she'll get it sorted, alright—"

"OH HELL NO! WHAT IF SHE TELLS ME I COULDN'T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF?! S-SHE'S GONNA LEAVE ME AGAIN, KID! I'M NOT PREPARED FOR THAT— OWW! THE FUCK YOU HITTIN' ME FOR, YOU LITTLE SHIT?!"

"GET YOURSELF TOGETHER! YOU'RE A FUCKING MESS! I THOUGHT YOU'D BE HAPPY TO SEE HER! AREN'T YOU FUCKS TALKING?!"

"DON'T CALL MY DAUGHTER A FUCK, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! SHE'S THE BEST!"

"THEN WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING SCARED OF SEEING HER?!"

"THAT'S THE FUCKING THING! WHY WON'T YOU FUCKING HELP MEEEEEE?!"

I slowly approached the dumbass, "Alright… Alright… That's totally my fault… I'm gonna help you don't worry… C'mere old man… Bring it in…"

"Now you fucking get it! I TOLD YOU I NEED HELP, ALRIGHT—"

"Shhh… Settle down… Settle down… Turn around, turn around…"

"What are you doi— HNGH! GCK! HELP! GACK! HE'S CHOK—"

"Shhh… Shhh… Sleep… Sleep… We can't take eight more hours of this…"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Major Harper had to cut in, "Did… D-Did you just choke out the colonel?"

I turned to him with an angelic smile, "Yes! Works pretty well, no?"

"Ah..."

"...?"

At this point, even if the old man wouldn't stay unconscious for the whole eight hours, one sure-fire to get anyone from a 100 to a 0 was to not only make their mouth stop moving, but also the rest of their body. Furthermore, I was slowly stacking the times this motherfucker spiked my drink for my "benefit" but this time, choking him out was also beneficial for everyone else.

But yeah, it looked like Jenna Rodriguez, one of Major Harper's Warrant Officer's still had more to say before Oscar blew up, so I turned back my attention to her after placing Oscar in a relatively safe corner.

"You were saying? You had more, right?"

"I…" she was still in a little bit of a shock from what had just occurred but she shook her head quickly before she resumed her game face, "Right! It is just a generous statement though but I'm confident that they wouldn't take more than 24 hours to dock the carrier in this place.

We've already made ample space for them and the ones that would arrive but we're expecting at least a thousand evacuees—not including the soldiers who'd sail in a few days after a short rest."

"A thousand at least? And sailing in a few days?"

"Yes. That's one of the reasons the Major had Mitch take over that bigger place across this small body of water…"

Major Harper followed, "Yeah, I did say we're just waiting for things to settle but we gotta meet in the middle here. The hospitality my troops and I received from all of you was more than welcoming and I hope you'd do the same for everyone else, within reason, of course. I'll grant you some authority to throw your name with some weight around my men because it seems like a popular choice, no?"

I lightly chuckled, "I appreciate the confidence and all but I thought Mitch would be the one doing most of YOUR work here. Right now, I think you're trying to push more work on me without any sort of return."

"Hmph! Gaining full control of my men and a thousand or so survivors isn't enough? The world is your oyster, you can pretty much tell them to do fuck all and I was told specifically by the colonel that you prolly wouldn't even need the special authority I'll give ya to make them bend to your will."

I shook my head, "It's not about bending anyone to my will, it's about finding what works for everybody—within reason, of course—and moving on from there. We just gotta find the perfect balance for it so everyone could—"

"I'm gonna stop you right there, kid. You should be telling all your secrets to Mitch, not me. Besides, can't you see that we went to you and the old man directly instead of the president? We have our reasons, of course, but doesn't this favor you greatly? I don't wanna compare apples to oranges but don't tell me this shit isn't tempting you?

You can't just pass up a few hundred soldiers from the Navy to anything the president has an excess of, right?"

"That's true in many cases—"

"So why do I think you're about to say no?"

"Then let me finish so we can see eyes to eye, alright? No offense."

"Heh. Go on. I'm listening with my two good ears."

"You're basically asking me to babysit a "few" hundred Marines, a thousand or so random survivors, and look out for your escapees who are trying to smear your name. And for what? I do know that someone said that people are a resource but it comes with a lot of fucking baggage and responsibility without any actual power."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I'm confident in my ability to lead people but each and everyone of you testing me every single time we shook hands just rubs me the wrong way."

"So, what are you saying? You sayin' no?"

"Not quite."

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