Chapter 40 - 40
Chapter 40
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"Not going to mock me for my choice in food?" I asked Mai, looking over at her as the waiter brought over our trays, several others weaving through the mess of tables to get their own platters to the party guests.
"Normally there would be nothing more I'd enjoy than mocking your garbage palette," Mai stated with a mocking little smile. "But this is your birthday party so if you want to eat like you are in high school so be it."
"So be it!" I said with a laugh as I looked over the spread. Bowls of French fries with cups of the most basic of ketchup for dipping. Breadsticks with just a hint of butter and garlic. Mozzarella sticks that were still perfectly hot so the cheese had a wonderful stretch.
"But at least you went with something other than normal pizza," she said as she raised her Pinot Noir while waving her hand at the square pizza the server had just set down in front of us. "I was afraid you'd ask for one of those store-bought things."
I however quickly shook my head. "This is far from normal, Mai. This is the best pizza ever made." I looked over my main course with a loving eye. "Everyone talks about that flat cardboard that is New York Style. Chicago's casserole they call Deep Dish is famous. The California style pizza is spoken of all the time though I have no idea why. The Hawaiian as well, with its sin against man that is pineapple on pizza.
"But this?" I asked as I gestured at the large lovely that sat on the table. "This is the true king of all pizzas. Square so that every piece is perfectly shaped with two sturdy corners. Thick enough that you can easily hold it without it flopping about and there isn't any need to use a knife and fork like a pretentious prick. Cheese allowed to not merely reach the edge but go over it to create a perfect carmalization. Thick sauce and perfectly cooked pepperoni to provide the correct spice." I dished out a piece onto my plate before selecting a bowl of fries. "The Detroit Style Pizza!"
"Should we let you two have a room?" Yuri teased. Mokuba, who was seated between her and Mai, merely smiled and snagged some cheese sticks. It had been a fight to get Seto to let him sit with us, as apparently he'd told Mokuba that they needed to stick together for the first movie, but in the end Mokuba's puppy dog eyes and my assurance that I'd keep the swearing to a minimum had won the day and Mokuba was allowed to dine with me. It probably helped that the older members of the guests, such as James and Caesar, were seated near us to ensure that Mokuba didn't get into any trouble.
"Michigan has to represent," I told her before allowing my grin to morph into a more casual smile. "Seriously though... thanks guys. This is... this is just amazing and I'm so glad you guys didn't listen to me."
We were all sitting in the theater, getting our lunches served to us by the staff before Kong: Skull Island began. Cassie and Mako were competing in the trivia games that were popping up on the screen... when Cassie wasn't mixing her own drinks as 'that bartender doesn't know what he's doing, let the Irish gal do it!'.
There had been a bit of a shuffle as we tried to figure out who would sit at my table as, to ensure that everyone got to see the film, we were limiting it to only one side and thus there were only three slots beside me and Mai; Mokuba had been an instant given as no one wanted to argue with the boy when he'd excitedly asked to watch the first movie with me. Seto, of course, had wanted nothing to do with the party and I think he would have left if it wasn't for the fact that he didn't trust Mokuba not to be hurt if he wasn't around. So he had decided to sit in the far back by himself, ordering a sandwich and working on his phone with earbuds in so that no one bothered him. But that had left two other slots and everyone had begun to argue why they should get the right to sit with me. Aria and Joey had nearly gotten into a fist fight over who should be allowed the spot next to the birthday boy.
In the end I'd decided to just make it a rotational thing. We'd start with me and my group (The Chaos Clan? Chaos Crew? I really needed a name for the four of us) but after that we'd rotate who got to spend time with me. Tea and Yugi had called dibs on bowling while Pegasus had suggested the two of us, along with Solomon and Arthur, sit together for Downton Abbey which I was all for as I really didn't want to deal with Joey snoring if he watched the film with me. Rex and I would geek out over getting to watch Jurassic Park while Alan and Cassie were a lock for Indiana Jones.
"So, everyone good to start?" I called out and my party guests all cheered. Several raises their glasses while others were too busy eating their food to say much. "Well then I think its time I gave you a present, even if this is my party: No long speeches from me! Roll the film!"
That got me even more cheers and I smiled as I dug into my pizza as the lights dimmed. It was actually a rather nice set up as the tables had low lights on the edges that allowed us to easily see our food but didn't distract from the screen. The sound test came on as did the movie theater's logo before... coming attractions began to play.
"Wait," Mai said. "Why are there coming attractions? This is a private viewing."
"And why is the trailer rated B for 'Beating that Christmas-Stealing Jerk Edwin's Ass'?" Renard asked.
"Oh fuck me," I groaned, holding my head in my hands as the trailer began to play.
"It a world that has forgotten that Christmas is the most important thing ever... one spirit possessing an ancient Egyptian artifact waged war against the Dark Lord who sought to steal the holiday of light and giving from the world."
"There are like... seven things wrong with that statement."
"Shhh!" Yuri hissed, causing me to turn to her in confusion. But before I could complain she stuck a cheese stick in my mouth.
"But when he was banished in order to give an old fat man control of his body again-"
"Not helping your case," I muttered.
"-the Spirit of the Millenium Crown decided to create a body all his own."
THUMPITY THUMP THUMP
I looked around. "Anyone else hear that?"
THUMPITY THUMP THUMP
Suddenly the screen went dark... as did the entire theater.
"Oh come on!" Rebecca cried out. "Who turned out the lights?"
"It's okay, Tea, I got you," Yugi said.
"Uh, actually that's me, Yug."
"In the dark there is moon light and stars hang overbove," my phone played.
"Who is the power company that's in charge of this?" Caesar asked.
"Kaiba Electric."
"..."
"You know, this would have never happened had we had the party at one of MY buildings," Pegasus stated.
"Solomon, do you have a lighter?"
"I'm looking for it, Arthur."
"Whoever just pinched my behind... do it again."
"I like yelling things!"
"Who keeps saying that?" I complained.
But just as quickly as it began the lights turned back on again to reveal, standing before the screen, the new body the Millennium Crown had chosen for itself.
"...oh come on," I complained as I stared at Frosty the Snowman.
Because it could only be Frosty. With his corncob pipe and his button nose and two eyes made out of coal.
And the Millennium Crown perched on his head.
"Edwin Chaos," the snowman said as he stepped...er... hopped... towards me, holding his arms out wide. A young woman was standing next to him, looking rather annoyed, brushing snow off her jacket. Frosty, remembering she was there, looked at her and shrugged. "You may go now. I have used your Plus One to get into the party."
"Uh huh." She waved to me. "Hey Edwin. Happy birthday."
"Hey Sally. Rough day?"
"About the same. Everything is card games I don't understand, toddlers causing havoc, and now kidnappings. Oddly enough the toddlers were almost as bad as the kidnapping. I'm going to get drunk."
"You don't drink. That's how we bonded at Caesar's birthday party, remember?"
"I do when I get kidnapped by snowmen."
"Fair enough.
Cassie grinned, waving her over to her table and gesturing at all the bottles of booze she had laid out. "Alright, Jungle Juice coming up!"
"Runs the KaibaCorp Daycare," I told my group before facing Frosty. "What the fuck do you want?"
"Was it not bad enough that you mocked Christmas and all it stands for-"
"I didn't do any of that!" I called out. "I've even referenced Jesus and that's more than anyone else did!"
"-you now decide to not even bother celebrating Christmas and instead make a mockery of this wonderful holiday."
"I am still doing my Christmas Party!" I complained. "I sent out the invites already!" I jabbed a finger at Tea. "She postponed Christmas!"
"I did do that," Tea admitted. "And I would do it again!"
"Hear that?"
"All in the name of Edwin Mephistopheles Chaos-"
"THAT IS NOT MY MIDDLE NAME!"
But Frosty merely continued to shuffle walk towards me, his... well, they were coal-like except they were also rather cartoony looking and that was as offputting as one might expect... eyes narrowed. Down through the theater with a broomstick in his hand, moving here and there all around the square tables. "But I will not let this stand this insult, Edwin Chaos. You defeated me last Christmas but I have returned to make right your grand wrong! I will defeat you and reclaim Christmas, making myself once more its true master!"
Joey leapt up, thrusting a fist into the air. "Come on Ed, take that overgrown snowcone down!"
"You can do it, Edwin!" Mako chimed in.
"I still like yelling things!"
I frowned. "Who keeps-nevermind." I shook my head before turning my attention back on Frosty. "Can I ask a question?"
"Regarding your doom?"
"No, regarding all of this. You are the Spirit of the Millennium Crown, taking over bodies or creating your own bodies, correct?"
"I am," the snowman confirmed.
"And the Millennium Items were made in Ancient Egypt, right?"
"Correct."
"Then why the hell do you care about Christmas?!?!" I demanded, throwing my hands in the air. When Frosty didn't answer I looked to my party guests. "Anyone want to explain this to me? Anyone at all? Alan? Cassie? Solomon? Arthur? I mean have I missed something when it comes to Ancient Egypt and Christmas? Or is it all holidays? Does the Pharaoh really like Bastille Day or something?"
"Edwin," the Pharaoh said, taking over Yugi's body, "if you are scared to face this threat I will." He turned and narrowed his eyes at Frosty. "You have insulted my friend Edwin Anubis Chaos-"
"Come on, that isn't even a Devil name!"
"-and I will not let that stand, Frosty!"
"Thank you Pharaoh but I am concerned you didn't comment on the whole Bastille Day. Second off you aren't Kill Stealing this. Third... it's a snowman!" I stood up and began walking towards Frosty, taking to to grab a pitcher of Sprite from Rex's table. With a toss I threw it at Frosty, the snow instantly beginning to melt. "I'm melting, oh I'm melting!" I mocked as I watched him turn into a puddle. "Oh what a world."
After a few moments all that was left was a button, some coal, and the crown.
"Alright, let's get a mop and get the movie-"
A cold wind suddenly rushed into the theater, swirling around the puddle with twinkling snowflake sparkles, and the water reformed right back into Frosty.
"Huh," Rex said, "that frosted glass. Thanks!"
"Stop complimenting the evil snowman Rex," James muttered.
"Happy... birthday," Frosty said darkly as he was reborn, glaring at me with hard narrowed eyes. "I am afraid you won't be able to defeat me so easily, Edwin Chaos. I am made from magical Christmas Snow, to ensure everyone has a White Christmas."
Pegasus opened his mouth only for Arthur to shake his head. "It's too easy."
Frosty took another hop forward. "No... if you wish to defeat me there is only way you will be able to do so."
"Please no..." I whined as a duel disk made of blue ice formed on his arm. "God damn it!"
"You and I will duel again to determine once and for all who the true master of Christmas is!"
I looked around and seeing that all my friends were looking at me in anticipation I hung my head in defeat. "Alright, before we do this... I am finishing my lunch and we are watching Kong Skull Island!"
"I will allow this," Frosty said before moving and sitting down at Mako's table, one of the theater staff members bringing him a menu which he began to look over. "The bananas you use in these splits... are they brought in fresh or frozen?" Everyone else, realizing there would be a slight delay, decided to take the time to order desserts now rather than waiting till after the movie ended.
"Fucking filler arc bullshit," I muttered as I decided to ignore the snowman and focus on enjoying my lunch. The lights darkened once more and finally Kong began to play.
"So this is the one from the 80s, right?" Nic asked.
"...nooooo."
~MC~MC~MC~
"What do ya think?" Joey asked as the gang watched Edwin and Frosty move to the front of the theater, both having finished their meals and the movie and thus ready at last to begin their epic duel. "Ed have a chance against this chilly jerk?"
"Of course he does!" Tea said as she wiped some pizza sauce from the corners of her mouth. "He defeated Yami Santa last time! He can defeat this evil snowman."
"I don't know, Tea," Tristan said, idly tapping a breadstick against his plate. "Frosty has had since last Christmas to think about how Edwin defeated him and prepare for this match. I'm worried Edwin might have bitten off more than he can chew."
'What do you think, Pharaoh?' Yugi thought.
'I'm curious was Bastille Day is. How can I say if I like it if I don't know what it is?'
Edwin, meanwhile, rolled his neck to work out the kinks before he activated his duel disc, Frosty doing the same. "Alright then, let's get this over with because I swear to God if this stupid vendetta of yours costs me a chance to see Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade I am going to be a very unhappy birthday boy!" He drew his cards. "So its time to DUEL!" Looking over his cards he selected two. "I start by-"
"WOOOOOO!" Sally cried out, throwing her arms up in the air.
Aria frowned as she looked at Cassie. "What did you put in that Jungle Juice?"
"Its basically any liquor he can get your hands on and fruit juice." The others at her table stared at her in horror. "What?"
"Well this will be interesting," I muttered, turning away from the drunken daycare worker and focusing on the duel. "I start by summoning Mythical Beast Medusa to the field in defense mode!"
"Oh hey!" Mokuba said with a grin. "Its Edwin's Mythical Beast deck! I haven't seen him use that since... last Christmas!" His eyes lit up. "Is it a special Christmas deck?"
"No," Edwin called out to Mokuba. "Just a filler arc exclusive deck." Mokuba just stared at him, as did everyone else.
"I did give it to you for Christmas, Eddy-boy," Pegasus pointed out.
"And you only use it around Christmas," Kipling chimed in.
"And your monster is wearing a santa hat," Rebecca said with a smile. Edwin opened his mouth to protest that only to notice that yes, his jelly-fish like monster that had appeared on the field, tendrils tipped with jackal heads snapping at Frosty, was wearing a santa had. As were all the little jackal heads.
"...and while this deck might not be my normal Endymion deck," Edwin said, deciding to just ignore that insanity and move on, "that doesn't mean I don't have a few old favorites from that deck in this one. Such as this one: Spell Power Grasp!"
"I think if I ever see you not use that card in a duel I'll die from shock," Mai joked as Edwin used the card to place a spell counter on Medusa while the monster's own effect added a counter to it.
"I will set this card and end my turn," Frosty said simply. But to everyone's surprise rather than looking like a normal Duel monster card the hologram projected a card made out of pale blue crystal.
"I can't decide if I like that cool little change, am annoyed it is happening with you, or question if this is ruling out Elsa appearing to duel me at some point." Edwin bobbed his head back and forth. "Though I suppose with how insane Disney can get the likelihood of them letting Elsa and Anna appear in a filler arc is slim to none. Now if it were one of the Sony properties..."
"Do you understand a word he's saying?" James asked Edwin's uncle.
"I tend to smile and nod a lot," Kipling admitted.
Edwin drew his next card. "I summon Mythical Beast Bashelisk!"
The spell-altered crocodile appeared on the field, snapping his jaws... and wearing a Christmas wreathe around his neck.
"Now the world is just fucking with me," Edwin said only for his phone to begin playing 'Up On House Top'. "Whatever, I now activate my continuous spell card the Mythical Institution!" He smiled as a grand building with many columns running along it s face, a large tower at the very front, and carefully maintained trees and walkways appeared behind him, replacing the wall of the theater. Flower petals were billowing around him and he smirked as he looked back at Frosty. "This card represents one of the most important buildings in Endymion's city: his college where the studies of magic and spells led to the creation of spell counters and the Mythical Beasts. It is one of the most dignified and important buildings save the Citadel and it-"
"Hold it, hold it!"
Edwin slowly turned to see the Magister of Endymion appear, directing some Defenders and some Breakers around the Institution, the knights carrying large rolls of Christmas lights.
"Sorry my liege, just need to get these in place," Magister told Edwin to his utter confusion. The audience and even Frosty could only stand by and watch as the monsters set about decorating the Institution with wreathes, lights, and bows. The Magister even slammed his staff in the ground and turned the flower petals into snow flakes. "There, all is proper my liege." The Magister gave a dramatic bow and the knights and him walked into the Institution, shutting the door and leaving a doormat that said, "SANTA STOP HERE!" in their wake.
"-anyway," Edwin said, "I activate another Spell Power Grasp, giving my Institution a spell counter. And my Medusa and my Bashalisk both gain counters as well thanks to me activating that spell counter. And now Bashalisk, attack that downface card!"
The hybrid creature snarled and rushed forward, sinking his teeth into the crystalline card. But the moment he did so the card glowed and Edwin could only stare at the large snowman that had appeared.
"I expect so little and I'm still disappointed," he muttered even as the shnwman attacked thanks to some kind of straw monster that hid within the depths of the icy construct, striking his Mythical Beast and sending it flying into some pillars that had been wrapped in red fabric to make them look like candy canes.
Martin frowned, lifting a pitcher of Coca Cola just as the monster flew by. "The fact that these are hardlight truly do open us up to lawsuits."
Mako frowned. "It is rather dangerous isn't it?"
"What the heck is that thing?" Tea said, grabbing onto the Pharaoh's arm as she stared at the snowman.
"I don't know but it looks rather dangerous," the Pharaoh admitted.
Joey grimaced before steeling himself. "Eh, who cares! Ed can take care of that thing easily enough!"
Frosty let out a hearty chuckle. "You think that, Joseph Wheeler? Then you are quite mistaken. Edwin has revealed my Snowman Eater. A nasty beast from the far North, where only the fiercest are able to survive. It destroys all that fight against it, including your magically altered creature. It was foolish to leave its home and interfere with things it didn't understand... just as it was foolish for you to meddle in Christmas!" The Bashalisk shattered into pieces. (Edwin-3900)
"Yeah yeah yeah, blah blah blah," Edwin said, moving his hand in the universal sign of 'yapping'. "While I did lose my Bashalisk I was able to trigger the effect of my Institution. When a Mythical Beast is destroyed I can place two spell counters on it!" The spell counters appeared, joining the first, hanging amongst the Christmas lights and shining rather cheerfully. "You're move."
The snowy duelist looked over his cards before selecting one wit his wooden fingers. "I am not so foolish as to believe that blow will deter you, Edwin Chaos. You have shown time and again to be a duelist who is able to stand back up time and time again despite the damage done to you. No matter how many times you are shown to be a fool you continually haul yourself up and fight again." Frosty clenched his branch hand into a fist. "So I will continue to use that fatal flaw to draw you deeper and deeper into my grasp, luring you into the icy trap I have created for you until there is nothing left for you to do than to freeze in terror at my might! The blood will run cold in your veins before you white out!"
"...your favorite movie is Batman and Robin, isn't it?"
"Are you going to show it after this duel?"
"No," he said.
Frosty merely shot him a dark look (which wasn't that impressive considering his eyes were two clumps of carbon; every look was a 'dark' look) before holding up a card. "I summon in defense mode my Snowman Summoner!" Another snowman appeared on the field, thinner than the first one and wearing a stocking cap while he held two brooms in his hand that had runes carved into them. "While his zero attack and 1600 defense points might not seem like much it is his ability that is the true strength of my newest powdery brother. For the snows will always blow, the ice will forever freeze, and the snowmen will forever return... with reinforcements."
"Oh, I don't like the sounds of that!" Tea declared.
Edwin though looked over at her. "That was just nonsense babbling!" he complained.
"That was clearly a threat, Edwin!" Mako declared.
"Well duh, of course he was threatening me I just meant that it didn't actually mean anything!"
"He's saying that the snowmen are forever and will be returning in larger numbers!" Duke warned.
"I know that! I mean that he just made up shit like that when it's just..." Seeing the others still weren't following Edwin rolled his eyes. "okay, watch, I'll do something similar!" Edwin cleared his throat before dramatically pointing at Frosty. "The cow may wish to be milked under the harvest moon but it is as much as the mercy of the mayor as the banana is to Stephen Hawkings. So too are your chances of beating me."
The audience... went utterly silent.
"Whoa," Mai finally said. "Edwin... that was... harsh."
"Yeah man," Tristan said, "I get you want to defeat this guy but no need to be so... eesh."
"I thought you agreed to tone down your language in front of my brother, Chaos," Seto growled.
The birthday boy just looked at Frosty who seemed utterly startled by his 'threat'. "Just... just make your fucking move already."
"Very well," Frosty said though he seemed shaken by Edwin's comment about his chances. "My Snowman Summoner is able to call forth our icy brothern with proper tribute. As such I will now sacrifice 1500 lifepoints to summon three Snowman Snowballs from my deck."
On the field three small snowballs with eyes and mouths appeared, rolling about before settling into place. Each one had only 500 defense and no attack. (Frosty-2500)
Aria snickered. "Heh... snowballs."
"Why would he do that?" Joey asked. "He just gave up nearly half his lifepoints to summon those puff balls."
"They don't look that big," Nik stated.
"Sometimes it isn't the size of the balls that matter, its what's in them that counts," Rex said.
"Testicles!" Sally said with a giggle.
"He must be setting up for something big," Tea said. "I do a similar thing with my Agent of Creation and the Shine Balls: pay lifepoints to get them out of my deck and then use them to summon something really big and dangerous." She wrung her hands together nervously. "oh, I hope Edwin is careful!"
"We have to trust that he will manage, Tea," the Pharaoh said. "He has been in tougher spots before. The Fake Kaiba. PaniK. That 5 year old at the toy store..."
~A few months ago~
"Hands off I had it first!" Edwin shouted, yanking on the Legacy Collection Brachiosaurus.
"It's mine! I want it!"
"It was in my cart you brat! Where is your mother?" He looked up and saw that the kid's mother wasn't even looking up from her phone. "Screw this." He raised his voice. "What's that? You think Joey Wheeler is better at Duel Monsters than Seto-"
"HOW DARE YOU COMPARE HIM TO ME!" Seto roared, lifting the kid up and giving him a shake.
"...he wasn't even with us," Tea said in shock.
~MC~MC~MC~
"So long as he believes in the Heart of the Cards I know that Edwin will be able to overcome the Millennium Crown and the Spirit that dwells within it."
"I hope you're right," Tea murmured.
Edwin seemed to be thinking the same thing as Tea: that Frosty wasn't merely summoning the snowballs to, well, snowball him and keep him from attacking. As such he took his time, looking over his hand before finally selecting a card. "I summon a second Medusa in defense mode." A second one of Edwin's jellyfish-like monsters appeared, only this one was sporting a Mrs. Claus' style cap on its head. "And now I'll activate the final Spell Power Grasp, adding a spell counter to my Institution. Another set of counters appeared on the Institution, twinkling merrily amongst the lights. "But just like any Christmas Present, there comes the time when things need to be unwrapped and used! As such I remove all 8 tokens I have on the field to activate my Institution's effect!"
The eight spell counters rose in the air, swirling about and dancing in the air before exploding in sparks of green and red.
"Ooooo," Sally said, eyes spinning about wildly.
Cassie quickly put her hands over the other woman's face. "Sorry but I don't feel like having you vomit on my shoes."
"Is this supposed to impress me, Edwin Chaos?" Frosty asked, his mouth twisting into a frown. "I have seen the Aurora Borealis on the coldest, clearest night of the year. This is nothing but sparklers held by a child compared to the wonders I have seen and will introduce to this world when I am made the Lord of Christmas once again!"
"It's not the sparklers that matter... but what they herald," Edwin stated.
"Hark the herald angel sing..." Alan murmured.
"Herald?" Joey said. "I thought it was Harold. Harold Angel."
"By sacrificing these eight spell counters I am able to bring forth one monster from my deck to my hand. And now it is time to bring him forth! I set in my right most spell zone Mythical Beast Master Cerberus!"
~MC~MC~MC~
'Okay, as annoying as all the other changes have been... I still like this,' I thought to myself as Cerberus appeared in his ghostly pendulum form... and looking like Beebo the God of War dressed in Master Cerberus' armor. "Now then, I will activate Cerberus' effect, which allows me to destroy him in order to add another Mythical Beast from my deck to my hand."
"Bee-bo!" the blue god declared before he exploded in a flurry of sapphire fur.
"How very odd of you," Frosty said. "Why would you do so much to bring out such a monster only to then destroy it?"
"Asking rhetorically?" I asked. "Or do you really want to know because you forgot our last duel and what my monsters can do? If so allow me to remind you of the power of the beings that dwell within the domain of Endymion." I threw my arms out wide. "Those that live within the Citadel have not just merely mastered magic but learned how to become one with magic. Thus they are never truly destroyed but instead become part of the magic of the world... and can return from it." I smirked at the blob of snow even as Cerberus' destruction caused new spell counters to form on my cards. "Let me show you. I set in my right most spell zone my Mythical Beast Jackal King!"
The basis for all other Mythical Beasts, only powered up to his true form, appeared on the field in my spell zone. It cackled as it flew about the field before settling like some demented djinn, leering at Frosty... though that was ruined a touch by the reindeer antlers and light bulb red nose he was wearing.
"But he won't be remaining there for long. I destroy Jackal King in order to activate his effect!" The Jackal King laughed as he shattered, more spell counters appearing on my Medusas and my Institution, but his fog-like form remained in part, swirling about me like a cloud. "Because when he is destroyed I am able to return one monster from my Extra Deck to the field. So reform and return to the mortal plane Master Beast Cerberus!"
"I love love love you!" Cerberus declared, holding his tiny arms out wide as he stared at Frosty.
"The Blue God has demands," I declared.
"Beebo hungry!"
"He hungers for BATTLE!" I shouted, at least able to find some amusement in this. "Cerberus, attack his Snowman Eater! And then I activate the Quick Play Spell Card Mythical Beast Phantom Strike, which allows me to select one Mythical Beast in my extra deck and destroy one monster on your side of the field with attack less than its own. And I choose your Snowman Summoner!"
Both fully formed and partially formed monsters unleashed their attacks, striking the two Snowmen and shattering them into bits, leaving just a bit of happy little Chirstmas Snow raining down on the field to show that they had been there.
"If anyone sees any yellow snow under Frosty there... that isn't lemon flavored."
"Actually it would be," Frosty said.
"...ew ew ew ew."
Frosty however merely stared me down, a dark smile forming on his...lips? Whatever Snowmen had. "The winds of winter always howl... so your words and bluster are meaningless to me."
"I feel like you should be off in a coffee shop performing beat poetry," I commented.
"I could go for some coffee," Marin said, holding up his hand. "Waiter? Could I get some coffee."
Mai also raised her hand. "You might as well begin serving dessert." The movie staff nodded and moved to collect final orders as Frosty and I continued to duel.
"I will now should you just how powerful I am and how worthless you attacks truly are! I summon my Snowman Creator in defense mode!" On his side of the field a massive machine appeared, a happy face on it that didn't make me feel jolly at all. It began to blast of steam and sound whistles before it set to work, the conveyor belt chugging along. "I will now use my Snowman Creator to create four Ice Tokens, which I will attach to your Master Cerberus!" My little blue monster began to struggle as tiny baby snowmen rushed out of the Snowman Creator and swarmed him like Baby Yoda spotting a tasty frog. No matter how he tried to beat away the monsters they wouldn't let go, clinging to him with their itty bitty wooden arms.
"Oh man, that can't be good!" Joey exclaimed. "Ya got ta shake those snowmen off your monster, Ed!"
"Would you care to tell us anything else that everyone knows?" Seto said from where he was watching, rolling his eyes. "Maybe that during his next turn he should draw a card? Of course with you knowing such things is a mighty feat of learning..."
"Hey, ya don't see me marchin' down to your office-"
Tristan shook his head. "Joey, you know if you finish that he's going to make a poor joke."
Joey opened his mouth before slowly clicking it shut, clearly seeing the logic in what Tristan had just said... and the fact that all the KaibaCorp members were nodding their heads in agreement.
"I'm... uh... gonna go talk with Serenity." He hurried over to the table where is sister was sitting. "Hey sis, how are things?"
Serenity though glowered at him. "You sat me at the kid's table."
"No... no I didn't-"
"More pizza, Teddy?" Rebecca asked.
"...Yugi was in charge of the seating arrangements?"
"Your friends are right, Edwin Chaos."
"No, we really didn't have seating arrangements until I came in. Though Joey did tell his sister to sit at that table."
"Hmmm, still telling jokes. You should truly worry about my ice tokens. You see, when they are locked onto a monster I can draw it into the Snowman Creator and destroy it, leaving you once more with nothing to protect yourself!"
The machine let out another whistle and the baby snowmen dragged Beebo, I mean Cerberus, towards said belt, ignoring his struggles as they giggled happily. But just as Cerberus neared the machine the spell counters on my side of the field began to glow.
"And I can use my spell counters to activate Cerberus' effect which creates a shield around him that makes him immune to your monster's effect if it would destroy him!"
"BEEBO!" Cerberus yelled, blasting the Ice tokens back before spinning his staff and giving Frosty a 'come at me bro' hand wave.
"So much for that move," I taunted.
"This isn't even in the Top 5 of weirdest duels I've been in," Nikolas muttered.
"Its barely cracking the Top 10 for me," Rex stated.
"Oh, so you duel Mai often too?" Nik shook his head. "Poor Edwin, stuck with that cuckoo."
"You believe that was all I had in store for you? Hardly... with the Ice Tokens on the field they are able to call forth something far worse from the depths of the Northern Icy Plains. A beast that will consume not just your monster but your hopes and dreams and desires. Behold your end... the SNOWDUST DRAGON!"
There was a blast of chilly wind that sent some of the napkins and party favors flying about before snow rose up into the air, locking together as they began to build a massive dragon made of blue ice. It let out a roar as it finally formed, about half the size of the Blue Eyes White Dragon but still intimidating as hell, I had to admit. It was a creature of magic that didn't actually belong to any world but now that it was here it wouldn't be stopped from taking vengeance on all that stood in its way.
"That thing is as powerful as Master Cerberus!" Yuri declared.
"Edwin!" Mai shouted. "Be careful!"
"There is nothing he can do to stop what is about to happen, little girl, so toddle off to mummy and dream of white Christmas."
"She's in her fucking twenties you sexist prick!" I complained even as the Snowdust Dragon opened its mouth and fired a beam of pure cold at Master Cerberus. My monster countered with a blast of magic of his own, the two blasts striking head on and battling to try and overtake the other, an orb of conflicting magic forming in the center of their struggle. "You did a lot to bring out something that is about to melt away, Frosty! Cerberus might fall but he'll take your Snowdust Dragon with him!"
"Are you so sure about that?" Frosty taunted me. "Allow me to show you the error of your ways. By sacrificing one of my Snowman Snowballs I am able to save my Snowdust Dragon from destruction, placing the Snowball in its place even as your monster is destroyed!" The two monsters suddenly swapped positions and I shielded myself as Cerberus was destroyed while all Frosty lost was a snowball.
"He snowballed him!" Arthur declared.
"Or blue balled if you want to be cute," Caesar chuckled.
"Damn it," I muttered in annoyance upon seeing Master Cerberus return to the Extra Deck. I looked at my hand and seeing nothing I could do that would really help matters passed my turn.
Of course Frosty saw such a move as me admitting failure or some shit like that and thus began to taunt me. "How utterly sad for you. Unable to do anything to stand against the might of the Snowdust Dragon. Soon you will fall and I will return as lord and master of Christmas!"
"Can I just point out that I never wanted the title... and it was when you were Santa that you had a claim to that? Frosty isn't the lord and master of Christmas. Never was!" I paused. "I mean, sure, when my brother was little he thought Frosty delivered presents-"
"SILENCE EDWIN CHAOS AND WITNESS YOUR DOWNFALL! SNOWDUST DRAGON! ATTACK HIS MEDUSAS!"
"Yup," I said as my lifepoints didn't drop an inch. "That sure showed me." I looked over my hand. 'Of course if I don't think of something soon he's going to overwhelm me. I need to keep up some kind of defense here.' I looked over Frosty's side of the field. 'Okay, so other than his Snowdust Dragon all his monsters are built for defense. He might very well not have any many offensive monsters. So I really just need to keep matching him blow for blow, defending against his attacks... and letting my Mythical Beasts get destroys and charge up the Institution.' I forced myself not to smile at that as I summoned my Mythical Beast Gardna in defense mode, the half eagle half ghost jackal appearing on the field before settling down. It had on an elf's cap and tiny little green shoes on his talons. 'Then I'll show him some real Christmas magic...'
~MC~MC~MC~
"What do you think Edwin's chances are of defeating that dragon?" Arthur asked.
Solomon rubbed his chin. "It is hard to say. For most duelists I would say they were in a hard bind and that it would be difficult for them to manage to win. But we've seen that Edwin is a skilled duelist... he has to be in order to be in the Top Three globally, along with Seto Kaiba and my Yugi. While Frosty is a powerful foe and clearly has Christmas Magic on his side there is something to be said about raw skill and talent seeing one through to victory."
"Its more than that, though," Pegasus said, interjecting himself into the conversation. "Edwin has a magic all of his own."
Seto Kaiba, who'd been standing in the corner, scoffed at that. "Are you people still on about that Millennium Key? Its all just smoke and mirrors... he probably saw Yugi wearing the Puzzle and decided that it would be a great way to make himself seem more important if he pretended he'd found another artifact himself."
Solomon frowned as he looked over at Seto. "After everything you've been through you still deny the truth?"
"I believe what can be tested, not what I'm told I must simply accept."
"Be that as it may I wasn't actually referring to the Key," Pegasus stated, sipping his wine and smiling when the waiter brought over a slice of cream roll. "it was something else, a more potent magic, that I believe will help Edwin win."
"And that is?"
"Birthday Magic."
Seto scoffed even louder at that. "And here I thought you three were the oldest and most mature in the room. Yet you are talking about birthday magic?"
Arthur though shook his head. "Have you ever heard the theory of Collective Fulfillment?" Seto didn't answer but Arthur continued on nonetheless. "It is the theory that if enough people place faith into something it can happen. It is the hopes of millions to see a success or a victory that allows for the impossible to become the possible... then the probable. The fans in the stands cheering on the home team to victory. Or a nation hoping that a space shuttle truly can make it to the moon. All over the world people believe that birthdays have a special meaning. That there is a magic to them. And if enough people believe in Birthday Magic... does that not mean Edwin can't tap into that?"
Seto didn't say a word.
"How much do you want to bet he'll challenge your grandson on his next birthday?" Pegasus asked with a smile, cutting into his dessert. "He'll probably even wear a party hat."
Before Solomon could answer Frosty finally held up a card. "I now summon my Melted Snowman!" A runny, drippy, slushy snowman appeared on the field. "When this card is summoned I am able to select one Water Type Monster and return it to the field, thus allowing me to bring back one of my Snowman Snowballs."
"That's not good," Mako said, folding his arms over his chest. "Now Edwin will have to destroy all those snowballs before he can take out the Snowdust Dragon."
Rex though scoffed. "Chaos has this guy licked. He took out friggin' Santa Claus, he can take out this slushy bozo." Rex did wince though when the Snowdust Dragon and the Melted Snowman, who had 1800 attack points, were able to take out all of his monsters, leaving him utterly defenseless. "Granted, he isn't looking too good out there..."
"KISS EACH OTHER!" Sally shouted.
"Oh, I'm cutting you off lass," Cassie said, taking Sally's cup... and downing it herself.
"When my Melted Snowman attacks he is forced into defense mode... which is fine as that means that he can protect my lifepoints."
Edwin though looked at the card he'd drawn before wagging his eyebrows. "Oh... I'm not worried at all, Rex. In fact if one of you could tell the theater staff to get the next movie cued up and ready I'll be watching it with a slice of Oreo Pie and a Coca Cola slushy VERY soon." He held up a card, different form the one he'd drawn. "Because, and say it with me kids, this duel is OVER!"
"This duel is over!" Sally said happily, nearly falling out of her chair.
"Aw man!" Joey said, rubbing his hands together in glee. "Ed is about to trounce this ice man!"
"I first place in my Left Most Pendulum Zone another Mythical Beast Bashalisk!" The croc monster appeared, though it seemed to be swimming through pure magic, only the tip of its head visible. "But he won't be remaining for long. You see, I can destroy Bashalisk in order to return one card in my Extra Deck to my deck and then draw a new card." Edwin did just that, selecting one monster before shuffling his deck and drawing. "And now I activate Beast Magic Attack!" the spell card flashed on the field. "With this card I can sacrifice 4 spell counters in order to summon one monster from my deck to the field. And I choose the one I just returned: Mythical Beast Master Cerberus!"
My little chibi Cerberus appeared on the field, letting out a little giggle as he waved his hands about in delight at being back.
"And unlike last time... I now have enough Spell counters to have some real fun with you, Frosty! I first activate Mythical Beast Master Cerberus' special ability, which allows me to remove 4 Spell Counters from the field in order to banish your Snowdust Dragon from the field. And because it is banishment and not destruction..."
"That means you can go fondle your Snowballs!" Mai called out only to press her lips together in surprise that she'd made such a comment. "Uh..."
"no no, that was a good one," I told her even as Master Cerberus summoned up four Spell Counters from the Institution and himself (having gained some from his own summoning) and sending them to ring around the Snowdust Dragon, the beast roaring even as it began to flicker and fade away. "Never apologize for a good bawdy joke." I looked back at Frosty. "And never apologize for insulting the Ice Cream Man over there."
"This is a minor setback, Edwin Chaos!" Frosty declared. "You won't defeat me purely because you rid yourself of my dragon. My deck holds other icy beasts-"
"Who aren't ever coming out!" I declared. "Didn't you notice my Spell Counters are still on the field?" Indeed the four counters that had banished the Snowdust Dragon had remained on the field, the light within them waxing and waning like a heartbeat. "When they got rid of your Snowdust Dragon they also robbed him of all his strength. After all, he won't need attack points where he went. But where can that power go?" I smirked. "To my Cerberus, of course!"
The Spell Counters instantly rushed forward and collided with Cerberus, causing him to swell up larger and larger until he was about 15 feet tall. Still utterly cute and 'Beebo Looking' but larger nonetheless. He stomped a furry foot and Frosty actually began to look worried at the sight of my 5600 attack monster.
"And... still not done!" I declared. "I activate Mythical Beast Absorption, which allows me to take the final 4 Spell Counters I have on the field and give them to Cerberus, increasing his attack by 1200 points!"
"WHOA!" Joe y exclaimed. "Now that is one big plushie!" He craned his neck up to stare at the monstrously huge Cerberus that was now 20 feet tall and sporting 6800 attack points.
"You know, sometimes I love it that my job involves helping these kinds of things happen," Aria murmured.
"And yet for all your boasting your monster is nothing but a wrapping paper: eye catching but meaningless. With my defenses in place you have no open of overwhelming me before I summon a monster to counter your beast! You try and fail, Edwin Chaos, again and again!"
I held up a final card. "Is that so? I'm afraid that I must disagree with Ned Stark though... Winter Isn't Coming... its over. I activate Book of Taiyou!" The ancient stone book appeared on the field and unlike The Book of the Moon this one was orange in color with a sun emblazoned on it. "This card allows me to select one monster you have on the field and shift it to face up attack position!"
"No! My Snowball!"
"Has a Snowball's chance in hell." I blinked. "Huh, Guardian Devil. That works on multiple levels. Neat."
"You... you can't do this!" Frosty screamed.
"I can and I will. For Edwin knew the sun was hot that day. So I said, "Let's run and we'll have some fun before Frosty melts away"." The Book of Taiyou finished its effect, forcing one of the Snowman Snowballs into attack mode... and the little monster trembled at the sight of Cerberus raising a furry paw. "Finish it."
"BEEBO!" Cerberus roared before destroying the Snwoball, the shockwave sending Frosty flying, his body beginning to crumble and break as his lifepoints leaked away (Frosty-0000)
"And this time..." I said, snatching the crown before it could flitter off, "I'll be locking you away so you never bother anyone ever again!"
The Spirit of the Crown clung to the melting remains of Frosty, glaring at me as his face slopped off like that Nazi from Raiders. "You think... you've won? You've... made a terrible mistake. My master... will know of my failure... and won't take kindly to you remaining the Destroyer... of... Christmas."
"I never asked to be that," I complained as I walked over to an emergency door and used my key to make it the entrance to one of the safes I'd had sunk in the Pacific Ocean. I tossed the Crown inside and wiped my hands before shutting the door. "Ho ho ho motherfuckers."
My guests all began to cheer, rushing over and congratulating me.
"You did well, Edwin," the Pharaoh told me. "You were quick in your planning and managed to defeat that foe and his tricks."
Renard though didn't look as happy. "Are you not worried about his threat, Captain?"
"Meh, that's for next Christmas. I'll try and prepare. And hey, I defeated Frosty and Santa... what are they going to send after me anyway? No one answer that."
"Well," Alan said, "I think its time we got the next movie going and then we can break out the cake!"
I smiled as everyone returned to their seats and my birthday was able to begin properly once more.
~MC~MC~MC~
Edwin smiled softly as he unlocked the door to his apartment, wondering if it was time for him to move to a floor separate from his uncle. He liked having the man as a roommate but honestly with how hectic his life was becoming he could see Kipling Chaos wanting him a bit further away to keep things from truly getting crazy.
Opening the door the birthday boy was thinking about sorting through all the gifts his friends had given him and where he was going to put everything when he realized the lights weren't working. Frowning, he tried the switch several times only for it to remain dark in the apartment.
"The Destroyer of Christmas."
Edwin started, turning towards the voice, the Millennium Key appearing and his eyes blazing gold and black as he prepared to unleash some Shadow Realm magic. But the figure who had spoken, his arms clasped behind his back, continued to stare out the window, making no move to even look in the young man's direction.
"You think you're the only person falsely given that title?" the figure asked. As Edwin's eyes adjusted to the light he saw the figure was wearing, of all things, a Santa Claus outfit. But just the hat and the coat. "Mr. Chaos you've just become part of a bigger universe. You just don't know it yet."
"Who the hell are you?"
The figure turned and stepped into a patch of moonlight, revealing his furry green face, an eyepatch over a scared eye... and a heart that had recently grown three sizes.
"The Grinch. Director of XMAS. I want to talk to you about the Yuletide Initiative."
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