Chapter 54: A Widow's Sleepless Nights
Chapter 54: A Widow's Sleepless Nights
When I came to, 3 faces were surrounding me. I looked blurrily around. The noose was still around my neck but the other half had been severed. I took in big gulps of breath, feeling the oxygen course through my veins. The most precious thing in the world was free. At that moment, I couldn't appreciate oxygen more even if I tried. Guan Zhenglin punched me on my chest. "I told you not to do such a dangerous thing, you scared the crap out of us!"
"How many days have I been out?" As I pulled off the nose, I asked.
Xiao Liu sighed helplessly, "Do you think we're in some kind of drama where every instance of unconsciousness turns into a coma? It has been less than 10 seconds from the moment you dropped to the ground, and you waking up. Any longer and we'd be at the emergency room already." Gu Chen pulled over the stool for me to sit. "I felt almost zero pain. After a few seconds, it was like the world around me shut down. It was probably due to cerebral anoxia. There are some chafing pains around my neck now but that shouldn't be a concern for Wang Yiman, after all, she would be dead by then."
"Well, what exactly did you gather from this life-threatening simulation?" Guan Zhenglin asked. I nodded and said, "I did notice something. My mind cleared before the senses shut down. Maybe it was the last radiance before death. In any case, I noted two anomalies that suggest at least another person had participated in this suicide." Gu Chen asked for clarity, "You mean, like Gao Rui, someone has also talked to Wang Yiman before she died?"
I caressed the ligature marks around my neck. "Bingo!"
"What are the two anomalies?" Guan Zhenglin asked. I extended 1 finger, "1, I remembered now the knot around Wang Yiman's neck is not a normal knot, it's a kind of slipknot where the stronger you struggle, the tighter it will be. A normal person would not have known such an intricate knot." I extended the second finger, "2, Wang Yiman knew to avoid the throat so that she wouldn't be in too much pain when she hanged herself. Furthermore, before death, she used the toilet to remove all human refuse from her body. That way her body would not be contaminated after death. These are the anomalies. Wang Yiman became a fulltime housewife after she graduated from high school. She was by all means a normal person, so how did she know to look out for these details?" I pointed at Gu Chen, "If you wanted to hang yourself, how would you do it?"
Gu Chen shrugged, "I'll grab a rope, make a noose and then do it."
I snapped my fingers. "That's right, a normal person wouldn't have taken so many things into consideration before committing suicide. Therefore, I believe that while this is indeed a suicide but Wang Yiman had a suicide coach. Gao Rui was a biology teacher, he could have known these things but Wang Yiman was just a housewife"
Guan Zhenglin countered, "You shouldn't look down on housewives these days. Perhaps she learned these from her husband or the internet."
I nodded. "That's possible but both Wang Yiman and Gao Rui committed suicide in the same style in such a short period of time, I refuse to believe there is no connection between them. In any case, we know about Gao Rui's reason for suicide, it was because he had lost Zhang Mingliang, but what about Wang Yiman?"
"It's the same for Wang Yiman!" Guan Zhenglin said as she tapped against her head, "Hadn't she lost both her husband and child?" Gu Chen argued, "But that was 5 years ago!" On this issue, I leaned towards Guan Zhenglin. Pulling my hair, I said, "Time is always fluid when it comes to feelings and emotions. Take our previous case for example, Ol' Six had waited years before he took revenge for Chu Ye. He was waiting for a timing, perhaps Wang Yiman was waiting for a timing too."
"Timing?" Gu Chen frowned, "What kind of timing?"
I turned to look at the jigsaw puzzle pieces Xiao Liu and Gu Chen had poured out. "A timing that allowed her to put down everything and bid farewell to the world. I think we should turn back to the puzzle, perhaps the answer is in there." At 4 am the next morning, after sacrificing our sleep, we finally almost finished the puzzle, almost' because near the end, there were a few pieces which were missing. The general puzzle was that of a Chinese cartoon character, Pleasant Goat frolicking on a field, there was nothing special about it.
"You sure you didn't drop a few when you dumped out the pieces?" I asked Xiao Liu. "This is valuable evidence!"
Xiao Liu shook his head like crazy. "No, everything's here. Plus, is that really the point? You told us this puzzle will present us with crucial information but no matter how I look at it, this is just a normal jigsaw puzzle so where is the big clue?" I scratched my head awkwardly. "If this was not something important, why would Wang Yiman keep this puzzle stored so dearly?"
"It's simple!" Guan Zhenglin said through a yawn. "This is probably her daughter's toy and Wang Yiman kept it as a memorial after her daughter passed away. She would play with it whenever she missed her daughter. It probably had nothing to do with the case itself. Even though it is not a big clue, at least it's something for us to remember Wang Yiman by."
"Fuck!" Xiao Liu yawned heavily. "Did I really just waste my sleep on this? I still had to interview many people at Yu Cai High School later today, you know?!"
"Then why are there pieces missing?" I asked.
"Maybe her daughter lost them." Guan Zhenglin shrugged. I frowned. "I need to go somewhere."
"Where? They asked.
"Wang Yiman's home."
Xiao Liu leaned against the table and started to snore.
Currently I was seated on the bed in Wang Yiman's bedroom. I was surrounded by silence. Other than the light inside Wang Yiman's home, looking out from the window, the neighbourhood was dark. It was not even 4.30 am yet, everyone was asleep. Guan Zhenglin and Gu Chen stayed in the living room, they didn't disturb me. I had been sitting here for half an hour already. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine myself as Wang Yiman. What would I do every night? If I was Wang Yiman, what would be my sleeping ritual? I stared at the family portrait on the vanity table and tried to stop the loneliness that tried to drown me.
Solitude and loneliness were 2 different things. Wang Yiman was solitary but not lonely. She was only 32, she could have found a new family but she did not. With her beauty, I was sure she would have had many suitors in the past 5 years but she didn't fall for any of them. So how did Wang Yiman pass the solitary nights for the past 5 years?
I am Wang Yiman. I reach into the drawer to grab the glass bottle and shake the jigsaw puzzle out. Yes, I am alone but this puzzle will be my company every night. That way, I won't fall asleep, I won't dream of my dead husband and daughter, I won't be reminded of my abandonment. I don't want to dream because every dream will be a nightmare.
I sat on the bed numbly and slowly extricated myself from Wang Yiman's identity. Ironically, my mother named me Wu Meng because she didn't want to dream anymore, because like Wang Yiman, her every dream would be a nightmare. Perhaps the greatest consolation for some people in the world was a dreamless night.
The first ray of light filtered through the window and the world awakened with it. Then came the sound of the hawkers rolling their carts, the auntie coming out for morning exercise, the uncles gathering under the tree for chess. When the noise came, I would no longer feel that alone.
Wang Yiman could only sleep around dawn because she would not be alone then. The sounds were there to accompany her.
I finally knew the purpose of the jigsaw puzzle. Was it to tide over the loneliness after the accident? That might be the case at the start but she would have known where each piece would go after playing with the puzzle for more than enough times. She could complete the puzzle with her eyes closed. It was unable to distract her from the disquietude anymore. Then the puzzle took on a new purpose. It was no longer just a tabletop game.
I walked out of the room. Gu Chen and Guan Zhenglin were asleep on the couch.
I shouted, "Storm is approaching, grab the clothes before they're wet!" They jolted awake from their sleep and I said, "I know what the jigsaw puzzle is for. I need you to call everyone from the local station and search through every corner of this place. Even if we have to move the furniture, we need to find the few remaining puzzle pieces."
"But why?" Gu Chen was baffled. "Do we really need to mobilize a whole force just to find a few puzzle pieces? And say we did find them, and then what? What's the point?"
"Sometimes, things are pointless." I shook my head. "I just want to help a solitary woman find the things she has lost."
"You must be mad!" Guan Zhenglin grumbled under her breath.
I finally understood the bravery and pain behind the choice of solitude. I noticed how each of the puzzle pieces had different stains like they had been left at different nooks and crannies around the house.
Every lonesome night, the solitary widow would scatter the puzzle pieces around the room. Then she would look for them piece by piece. Perhaps they had rolled under the bed, tumbled behind the sofa or landed on the fridge. When she found almost all of them, the sun had already risen and sounds came from outside. She was afraid of solitude so she had no choice but to distract herself from facing it.
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