Chapter 60: Sarah's Lament
However, he remained stood in the centre covered in blood, his eyes pure black with silver rings as threads of blood began to appear, making them bloodshot. The next moment, small wounds began to appear on the two black arms of Nikolai.
They spurted with blood as the wounds grew larger and his transformation faded.
"Ugh...."
Black blood vomited from his lips. Nikolai began staggering before he fell to his knees now with his eyes on the same level as Sarah, who looked at him with a shocked gaze, her body trembling.
[You pushed yourself too hard—this bloodline is too dangerous...]
Eliza's words couldn't reach him because of the throbbing headache that felt like someone was dragging him across concrete while kicking his body constantly.
"A-Are you.... really Nikolai?" Sarah's terrified voice echoed, rocks dropping from the damaged area onto the floor when she noticed him suffering and tried to reach out with her trembling hand. "You're hurt?!"
The wounds on his body continued to increase because he forced his two powers to fuse without practice.
He overloaded himself by transforming both arms into those black, deadly monster claws, which caused damage after he used them for too long while suffering damage from the Silver Clan werewolves.
"Kuh.... I am fine, it's fine... you're safe now."
Sarah watched Nikolai who seemed like a fragile rose fallen from the bush about to fall apart. His black eyes drained like ink before turning into the same ruby colour she remembered.
"H-How can someone who is bleeding and vomited blood be fine?! You... are not human.... right.... what are you?" Sarah's words were like arrows penetrating his heart, causing his body to shiver.
"I am just me... nothing more, nothing less... ugh," Nikolai replied, looking up at Sarah with a warm smile, a trail of blood seeping from his lips. Although he could see her trembling, the fear in her eyes and scent. He tried to ignore it, wanting to hope she wouldn't fear him.
However, this wasn't possible. Nikolai knew what he just did should have terrified and scarred her for life.
He saved her and killed everyone that had held her hostage.
"Sarah.... are you okay? Did they hurt you?" Nikolai asked, his voice becoming a little deeper as he clenched his teeth through the pain.
"N-No, I'm fine... so tell me the truth!" Sarah shouted, her expression a mixture of fear and worry, which was clear because of her shaking body and the tears beginning to form.
"I already did, there are no lies," Nikolai replied, knowing fully well that saying the truth wasn't an option.
"Please... if you tell me I won't... I won't quit just because you are different..." Her hands clenched tight because she feared that knowing would lead to her death or he might abandon her when she felt a new life possible.
"It's better to be scared than dead," Nikolai said, his gaze changing, a deep sadness in his voice.
"Please...."
"You don't want to know, trust me. You should leave," Nikolai replied before he tried to stand, but his body failed him—falling back to his knees only to be caught by Sarah, his blood staining her torn dress and face as it splashed onto her.
"Please, I-If I go without knowing I will forever wonder.... a-and I have nowhere left to go," Sarah muttered, her words shocking Nikolai when he looked at her eyes and found no lies.
'What should I do... Sarah is an important person for my future, but she knows me secret now....'
[What else can you do? Kill her or turn her.]
The cold voice of Elizabeth was nothing like her usual calm and joking tone. He knew she was serious about this.
"Can you keep this a secret? Can you lie to everyone in the world and tell the ones closest to you nothing happened today?" Nikolai asked, staring deeply at Sarah with his crimson irises glowing slightly, causing her body to shiver before a small nod came from her.
Yet he detected a small doubt and insecurity in her eyes that caused him to feel a wave of anger... To be rejected because of being poor, now to be rejected because he was a monster!
'Maybe... no, no I can't let myself become that.'
"Liar!" He growled, his eyes becoming sharp, the dirty feelings he hid, his inferiority, shame and anger towards those who judged him all flowing from his chest, unable to seal the opened floodgates.
"H-Huh?!" Sarah gasped when his hand reached out, grabbing her face, his fingers on one side, his thumb on the other, twisting her to look into his eyes with enough strength not to let her turn away.
"Do not lie to me, human."
He hated the way his words spat out the word 'human' as if he wasn't part of their society as if Nikolai denied his past self.
Yet the dirty feelings of hatred and complexes he hid deep inside himself flowed out. Now, a different species. However, these emotions were genuine and not a delusion or he could easily ignore them.
"P-Please don't hurt me, please," Sarah pleaded, her body trembling.
"I have to kill you, since you know my secret."
"No, no please no!"
"Then why lie to me," Nikolai spoke calmly, his gaze full of resentment.
"I-I don't want to die, please no, no, I can't—don't make me," Sarah cried, her body trembling while begging.
'What's wrong with me?'
Nikolai realised how cruel his words and actions were.
His hands began trembling, gripping her cheeks tighter and deforming her lips. He felt a hunger close to his desire during a blood frenzy, his eyes glowing deeper with each moment that passed, watching Sarah with his blood covering her face and lips.
"I'm sorry, Sarah."
"Don't K-Kill me... please don't k-kill me," Sarah replied, her body quivering.
"I have to, or you will expose me, and if others learn... you understand right?" Nikolai questioned, his voice deep and quiet, his eyes never leaving Sarah's gaze.
"I-I will not tell... please trust me."
"I cannot trust you, as a human."
Sarah's eyes widened as she felt a sudden eerie feeling like his shadow grew larger and enveloped them, a dark, cold feeling that seeped into her heart as she realised the reason he said, 'as a human' with such emphasis.
'He's not human... and he cannot trust me as a human... he wants me to...'
Her thoughts froze, her body quivered, the fear consuming her mind as she remembered what he had done moments ago with the same inhuman blood covering her face.
"Y-You want me to become a... one of you."
"Yes."
Nikolai's reply caused her to shudder, but she noticed the sadness hidden behind his calm eyes.
"No! Wouldn't that make me a monster?!"
"You would no longer be human, true," Nikolai nodded his head, his eyes showing no signs of lying.
"How could you ask that, wouldn't that be the worst thing?"
"You will live."
"B-But I will become a monster."
"Am I that bad in your eyes? I will not ask you to kill others." Nikolai's eyes narrowed. He felt irritated and just wanted to drink her dry and toss her corpse to the side. It took every ounce of willpower to stop himself from succumbing to his blood frenzy, even while his wounds were still bleeding and didn't heal.
"I-I didn't say that, but you are a monster, a-and will make me your slave! I don't want to become your slave!" Sarah's voice raised, her body trembling. She was afraid of the power Nikolai had, his speed, and those black inhuman arms with distorted and monstrous claws.
'I am a monster, aren't I? This poor girl only wished to rise in the world. Now she has only the choice of death or losing everything she once knew.'
"You have no choice."
Nikolai's words shocked her. Sarah had never felt this fear or helplessness. She watched him stand up, his body trembling from pain, the wounds from his fight causing his blood to cover his body, while his crimson irises glowed, lifting her off the ground as she tried to flail, only to be too far to hit his body.
"I-If you do this to me... I will hate you forever!"
"Hate me all you want."
"Please don't do this!"
"I must."
"P-Please stop, no!" Sarah's voice continued to ring, her words filled with fear while her heart beat faster than ever before.
[Why are you taking so long? A human will never be trustworthy. They will inform the SSS, and you will be killed! Even your best friend Ryan betrayed you and planned to bring you in!]
'Ryan...'
Nikolai froze for a moment, remembering what Eliza had said moments ago about his childhood friend. He also understood that he mistook Elza's worry and pained voice for a cold voice... she didn't want him to suffer. It was for him that she got angry.
"P-Please, Nikolai... don't," Sarah's voice became weak, her eyes wet with tears.
'If I don't turn her... will she betray me? I will become a fugitive, and those people will come after me again and again until I die... Forgive me, Sarah but I cannot let you roam free. One day you might understand, and you cannot go against those who grant you the same bloodline. A cruel torment for you, who hates me.'
"Hate me, curse me whatever you wish, but I must do this."
"No!"
Sarah cried and begged, but Nikolai didn't listen. He closed his eyes, his fangs extending while he bit into her neck; unlike the last woman, he was more gentle, trying to forget the pleading eyes, and her face twisted in agony as her screams echoed until she fell unconscious.
'I am sorry, but this is the only path.'
***
When Sarah awoke, he found himself in an unfamiliar room.
"Ugh... my head hurts.... where am I? What happened... Agh... that's right, some strange men took me....
then Nikolai... Master Nikolai saved me..."
'Master?! Why... what.... what did I forget?!'
Her wounds healed, but the smell of fresh blood entered her nose, causing Sarah's stomach and body to become hungry; the glass of crimson fluid beside her bed made her heart race; she wanted it... so badly.
A dull ache filled her body as she tried to stand, only able to reach out and grasp the glass full of warm juice.
"It smells so delicious. Is this tomato juice...? Ah... I can't stop myself...."
She gulped down the contents, her tongue absorbing the rich, sweet-tasting scent, which caused her to remember something, yet she couldn't figure out what.
"Ah.... there's nothing left," Sarah said, her body feeling refreshed, her hands and clothes clean. "Wait a minute, isn't this Master's apartment?"
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