Chapter 565: Happy Birthday!
Chapter 565: Happy Birthday!
Sixty Two years after the events at the Phoenix Peaks.
I took a deep breath in, enjoying the myriad smells of life and mango. From the floral blooms to the loamy soil, the ripe mangoes to the morning dew, to sappy resin and freshly cut grass, my orchard was my happy place. My peaceful place. I’d cleared a small area in the center just for me, with a few benches to sit on.
I hadn’t let the looming threat of war stop me from living and enjoying life, and I was proud of myself for it. My decades-long project to create a grove of mango trees just for me had paid off, and the place was serene and beautiful. A place I could always go, no matter how bad of a day I’d had. The sun was on my face, there was a light breeze as a few fluffy white clouds passed overhead, and everything was simply perfect.
What day it was helped.
A trio of happy-screaming System-locked kids sprinted through the central area, playing ‘monster’. One of them was chasing the other two, and honestly, I thought they learned how to split up when running away as toddlers. The two zipped past me, but the ‘monster’ skidded to a halt and paled at me. He did his best kid impression of a bow.
“Prima Elaine! I’m so sorry, we didn’t know you were here. We…” He trailed off and flushed. I cracked open an eye and an indulgent smile, and flapped my hand at him.
“I’m pretty sure monsters don’t have manners that good. Plus, they’re getting away.” I said.
It took the kid a moment to realize what I was saying, and with a throaty ‘RAWR!’ and his hands curled up into claws, went chasing after his friends.
I smiled indulgently. Ah, kids. They weren’t usually allowed up here, and credit to their parents - they’d been pretty clear about where they were and weren’t allowed to go, and proper manners. Made me kinda wish I could be a godmother again or something. Someone who could see kids for a few hours, then return them home when I was done.
I held out my hand and [Teleported] my staff from where I’d leaned it on a fence to rest, almost a hundred feet away. I stood up, stretched, and started to slowly go through the meditative motions I’d learned at the Jakhong Monastery, all while keeping track of the kids hunting through my orchard through [The World Around Me].I was halfway through my set when one of them, in the throes of trying to escape being eaten by the monster, looked like they were about to run into one of the low-hanging flowering branches. There would be a lot of crying on their end, and the branches would be ruined.
I [Teleported] all three of them out of the grove, having enough magic power to enforce my will on low-vitality children, and repositioned them such that the two ‘chased’ kids would be running back towards the villa, assuming the ‘monster’ ran right at them. Instead, they looked around, marveling and speculating on what just happened. I smiled and whipped up a quick spell to project my voice.
“Don’t monsters chase people?” I asked the three of them. Distractible kids they were, the monster started chasing the other two, and I settled back to finish my routine.
“Hey Elaine, everything’s ready here. Come on over when you want.” Iona said deep inside the villa, speaking at a normal volume. My ears perked up at that, and after looting all but three - errr, make that two - mangos for tomorrow, I skipped on over to the party.
It was our birthday! Iona and I had settled on ‘trading’ birthdays where one of us spoiled the other rotten - it just worked best for us - and I’d called dibs on the big 100. Iona had been completely fine with it - she’d gotten the 64th and was also the one getting the 128th, which I didn’t mind at all. She tended to have very specific ideas about what she wanted, and so did I, which made our system entirely harmonious.
I’d wanted it to be a small, intimate gathering of my friends.
I didn’t realize how many of those I’d gotten until I was staring at the pile of invitations.
Iona needed no invitation, but I made sure to include Titania and Skye. They helped run the household, but the invitation, to me, was symbolic that I considered them friends, and wanted them there as themselves, not as some of the people helping out.
Auri’s invitation was made out of a burning cake, clever enchantments on the icing making burning words, spelling out my request for her attendance.
She’d insisted on making me the best cake ever, and I wasn’t going to gainsay her.
Iona and I had giggled madly as we made a mystery for Fenrir, which in theory was going to culminate with him dropping in on the party. The invitation was the present, in many ways.
“Aren’t we worried about, you know, side quests?” I asked Iona. She chuckled.
“If he does fall into a side quest, he’ll have an even better time, and root out some problem. Isn’t that the best gift we could give him?”
She had a point.
Nina and Amber naturally made the list, along with Night and Susan. The semi-retired Katerina was sadly unable to attend, currently enjoying a much-needed vacation on the sunny shores of northern Exterreri.
Nina’s squire-turned-Valkyrie couldn’t make it, and Iona was endlessly pleased that the wheel had turned, as she was more of Iona’s mind on how to best operate. Iona had decided she wasn’t taking on [Squires] anymore. The wound from Nina’s ‘betrayal’ had long ago scarred over, and the two were on great terms - but the hurt echoed.
One burned, twice shy, and I didn’t blame Iona for not wanting to go through it again.
Night and Arachne were both going to be in attendance, which included their personal Sentinel teams. Event security basically - the sun was out, they were vampires, etc. etc. Frankly, I was touched that they were even willing to take the risk, as miniscule as it was.
Artemis and Julius had both been pried out of the School and were in attendance, along with one of Artemis’s favorite ‘gophers’.
“Because I’ve gotten too lazy to do things for myself.” Was her stated reason. I was pretty sure she was just soft on the student, and wanted to make connections and good experiences for her.
I was a little disappointed that I’d gotten Vitus fired from the School. Next on my ‘ways to fuck with Vitus’ had been to teleport out every single screw and nail from his office. Everything should remain standing until he touched it, at which point it would’ve all fallen apart.
Speaking of fucks - I was too old to give a fuck about any sort of group drama that could result from my invitations - and people not invited. All of the War Sentinels except for Calamity got an invite. We didn’t get along personally, and barely got along professionally. More than I expected accepted the offer, a few declined, citing work. A number of Sentinels I’d made friends with over the years, including Devour, Terminus, Springsteel and Skater, were in attendance, as was Atlas and his wife. Nix had retired - RETIRED, he was just a little kid the other day, how could he have retired already!? - to Ortus village, the rapidly growing community at the base of the mountain. Bless the original settlers, they’d made it clear which direction the community needed to expand in. Both Nix and Hasta were invited, along with a dozen other friends I’d made over the years.
Librarians I’d spent countless hours discussing books with over the years had gotten an invite, and since it wasn’t just about me, even though I was the focus, everyone in the slowly-growing Valkyrie Order had a letter written for them, along with a dozen of Iona’s closest friends.
Harper was retired from being the Ranger’s [Quartermaster], but was as lively as ever, and Marcelle held no grudge over the School stuff, and was quite happy in Sanguino, teaching and running her own questionable experiments.
I know the Rangers had been over for a ‘friendly chat’ at least twice.
The list went on and on, and it quickly became a bit of a joke between Iona and I. I didn’t mind - I was just happy to see all my friends and family, safe and happy.
I was no packrat, and while I didn’t pretend I was a minimalist or didn’t need tons of stuff, I was also pretty liberal with my income,simply… buying anything I wanted. It made gift-giving occasions hell on people, and I liked seeing people happy so… I twisted it. I gave the gifts! It was a TON of fun!
In no time at all, I was dressed in a really nice, tight outfit - one of the gifts I was giving Iona, at her explicit request - and partying in the little garden in the middle of the villa. We’d thrown a heavy canvas over the open-aired portion to make a ‘roof’ for all the vampires, an initial layer against the sun. Mystical flames floated around near the makeshift ceiling, courtesy of Auri. Fenrir had made a statue of us out of Ice near one end, the waves of cold radiating off of it a welcome relief from the heat. Tables groaned under the catered food piled high, delicacies prepared from around the world. I was feeling like Ralakar food today, the spices were simply divine.
It would burn horrifically on the way out, but that was the price of tasty food.
I waved to Iona as I came in.
“Hey love!” I said, enjoying how her face just lit up at seeing me. Over 64 years of marriage, and we still had that impact on each other.
“Elaine! You look great!” Her eyes danced all over me, and I spun around, showing off a bit. I looked fantastic and I knew it. “Let me grab Nina, the two of us have something for you.”
“Okay! I can’t wait! I’m going to swing over to the buffet table and grab something before it’s all gone.” I said.
[Teleportation] was great for many things, but getting rice and curry out of a tray was not on the shortlist. Along the way I was greeted by a number of the guests.
“Elaine! Happy birthday!”
“Dawn, congratulations on 100!”
“Hey, the student that got me termin - I mean, got me a brand new job! Happy birthday!”
I stuck my tongue out at Marcelle’s good-natured greeting, who laughed with a mouth full of very pointy teeth.
“Marcelle, great to see you! Have you spotted the bloodwines yet? I got a nice bottle from Vesontio. How are the body modifications going?” I knew Vesontio’s vineyards produced her favorite vintage - at least, last I checked. Her pupils rapidly changed between a dozen different animal eyes before winking, letting me know exactly how it was going. I continued to slowly walk to the buffet table, a vision of everything vanishing as people said hi to me dancing through my mind.
“Excellent! This is such a marvelous event, thank you, and once again, happy birthday!”
I got to the buffet and started to heap my plate high with food, then navigated my way to the ‘birthday girl’ table we’d set up in a prominent spot. There were too many people for me to sit with everyone, but I had too many friends to pick and choose who was going to sit with me, and who was going to be relegated to a ‘second class’ friend. Our solution? One modest table with a few ‘guest chairs’ that anyone could sit in.
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Iona was making her rounds and chatting with people. She’d join me eventually, but for now she was having the time of her life with her friends. We loved each other, we were married, but we weren’t joined at the hip, no matter the jokes.
My ears perked up at the distant sound of Auri brrpting a dozen expletives, swearing on water and mouldy bread as something went catastrophically wrong in the kitchen. A few moments of sensing later, I relaxed.
It wasn’t that bad.
[*ding!* [Sage of Tomes] has leveled up! 824-> 825. +1500 Magic Power, +1500 Magic Control, +700 Mana, +700 Mana Regeneration from your Class per level! +1 Strength, +1 Dexterity, +1 Speed, +1 Vitality, +1 Mana, +1 Mana Regeneration, +1 Magic Power, +1 Magic Control for being Chimera (Elvenoid) per level! +1 Mana, +1 Magic Power from your Element per level!]
… it was time to be an ostrich like Auri’s phoenix friend Weavy and stick my head in the sand over that. Everything was fine.
No matter how much Auri was talking about diverting waterfalls through the kitchen. Nope.
[Sage of Tomes] had been the ‘natural’ evolution to [Erudite Archmage], with nothing particularly special about it to set it apart from the prior ‘learned wizard’ aspects. A few of my skills had changed names, but most of them simply upgraded quietly. From my discussions with other high level Classers, it was normal.
Night and Susan were the first couple to swing by, holding hands and being disgustingly cute with each other. If I didn’t see them holding hands and nuzzling each other in public, I would’ve never believed it myself. I did catch glimpses of Night’s team at the edge of the party, watching over everyone. Arachne’s threads were on every surface except the sealed present room and our personal quarters, and eh, sure, why not.
“Night! Susan! Come, sit, sit!” I [Teleported] over a bottle I’d kept stashed specifically for him. It was so old I’d swear it was vinegar if reliable Classers hadn’t told me otherwise.
Night and Susan sat down at the table with me.
“Elaine. Congratulations on a hundred years of living, as the System measures it.” Night said. I sighed dramatically.
“I’d be one of the oldest creatures alive if I just used normal math for my age!” I joked.
“Nonetheless, it is a significant milestone to you, and it is my deepest desire that we should meet again for your 1000th birthday. This is simply the beginning of a long and fruitful life, no matter how quickly it looks like you are attempting to achieve divinity. It brings me great joy to be sitting here with you today.”
Susan leaned in.
“Yeah! This party’s fantastic, you have such good taste!”
I grinned at the compliments, being easily flattered.
“Thank you! I hope you’re there too, and you’re too kind. I’ve been to your parties, they overshadow this one like nothing else.” I punned. Susan dutifully groaned.
“I spent a lot of time thinking - what do you get the man who has everything?” I asked Night, waving off his attempt to answer and say he didn’t need anything. “No, no, I’ve got this. The answer is - you get his wife something she likes. Susan, I’m shamelessly cheating on the present we got you. Auri’s acquired this silk from the North Continent, I haven’t seen or heard of anything like it down here. Maybe it could be useful for your threads, or maybe just have your [Tailor] make something nice?”
I [Teleported] out a nice bolt of shimmering teal spider silk, obtained from some rare spider variant with unique skills. Susan gasped as she ran a delicate finger over it.
“Oh Elaine! It’s beautiful!” She beamed, and Night couldn’t keep a happy smile off his face.
“I will take my leave now. I am sure others would love to spend some time with you, and far be it for us to simply monopolize all your time. I believe I see someone I wish to have a conversation with as well. Once again, I would like to wish you and your wife a happy birthday, and hope you will be around for many more.” He got up with a polite flourish, and Susan slung her arm in his. The two melted into the party, and Artemis was over a moment later, dragging Julius behind her. A small storm of sharp rocks swirled around Julius, and I pointed at Artemis as she sat down.
“I swear to Ciriel, if you hurt someone or cause a problem here… I’ll unleash a pair of cockroaches in your villa. A breeding pair of cockroaches.”
Julius shuddered in disgust and sat down. Artemis twirled her chair around before sitting on it backwards, the freshly-made Immortal looking shocked.
“But Healy-bug! He’s all fragile right now! Given the levels here, someone hits Julius on the back too hard without checking his level and they’ll break his spine!”
Julius reluctantly nodded, but stuck up a finger.
“Yes, but we’re at Elaine’s party now, and her healing’s up. You said you’d drop it then.”
His voice was… slow. Way too slow.
[Leader - 32].
“Oh! You finally made it to the Reset River! Congratulations! And yes, my healing is up and locked with [Persistent Casting] Artemis, it’s like you don’t know me at all.” I shot a glare at my friend, who had the good grace to look sheepish as the swirling stones dropped. “Julius, tell me about your plans! A new set of levels is a new lease on life, and I’m curious what you’re thinking.”
The two traded looks, and Julius shrugged, looking a little embarrassed.
“Well, I’ve had to do a lot of soul searching. Remus and being a Ranger was everything for me, and that’s all gone now. Rebuilding it all… well, Artemis helped, so much. I can’t say enough good things about you, love.” He put his hand on Artemis’s and squeezed. “Being at the School, I figured I should teach something I was good at, and I found my niche. Party leadership when fighting monsters.” His jaw tightened. “Including elvenoids.”
That was a little heavier than I was expecting, and Artemis - very gently, very slowly - socked him on the arm.
“Hey!” He protested.
“We are at a party.” She reprimanded him. “I’m supposed to be the goofball making the inappropriate comments! You’re supposed to be keeping me in line! This is all backwards!” The Lightning [Mage] threw her hands up in the air in despair.
Julius looked suitably chastened at Artemis’s rebuke, then shot me a sly wink. I laughed at his clever… was it really a prank?
Iona took the moment to plop down next to me, giving me a quick peck on the lips. She grinned roguishly at the two, clearly having heard the conversation.
“I’m really curious, how does the stat difference work? I know with Elaine - hahahaha.” She laughed as I twisted her ear, burning red. Neither Artemis nor Julius seemed to care.
“MOVING ON.” I shouted. “I got something for all three of us. Tada!”
With a flourish I teleported out three miniatures, covered with silks. Artemis eagerly ripped hers off, while Julius more carefully folded the silk and put it off to the side. I put the silks back in storage with a thought.
Damn, being a Spatial mage really paid off at the higher levels. No regrets on the element I’d taken, although I probably would have similar thoughts with anything I grabbed. Iona whipped out her sketchbook and a pencil, her hand blurring as she started to capture the moment.
Her gallery of moments was one of my favorite things, and the pencil on paper stored beautifully in [The Library of Infinite Wonder].
Artemis and Julius were both stunned wordless by the little statues, lovingly crafted by a high level [Mason] who’d been exceedingly well paid to have me breathing down his neck over every little detail. I ignored the tears that sprang to Artemis’s eyes, and how Julius’s hands trembled over them.
It was Ranger Team 4. All seven of us, rendered down to the hair texture and painted, the wagon sliced open to show the interior.
Julius. Artemis. Kallisto. Maximus. Origen. Arthur.
And myself, as a scrawny teenager.
There had been a few artistic liberties taken - we didn’t have the standard of Remus flapping in the wind, for example - but otherwise it was almost exactly as I remembered it.
Three had been commissioned, one for each of us. A memory preserved in stone, names engraved eternal on the bottom.
“Elaine… it’s beautiful. Thank you.” Artemis whispered, wiping the tears with her sleeves. “I… I think I need to go before I make a mess. Thank you.”
She loudly blew her nose into the sleeve of her tunic, grabbed her statue, then rapidly made an exit without Julius. He looked after her retreating back with fondness.
“We’re not leaving, but I do need to check on her.” He said. “Happy birthday again!”
“Yeah, now I’m almost as old as you are. Decrepit!” I joked.
Person after person, present after present, I met with my guests. Nina got several thick tomes on law, politics, trade, and economics - a way to help her out that wasn’t simply supplying her with weapons.
For Marcelle, I’d copied an ancient elven [Biomancer’s] journal that I’d read in Ithil. [Astral Archives] plus [The World Around Me] and [Scripture Savant] made me a certifiable menace when it came to copying books.
Amber was still deep on trading intangible goods, and I gave her the exclusive rights to my life story, whatever that was worth. She got all excited over them, and Iona looked unimpressed.
“What?” I asked. “She’ll find a good [Playwright]! We might see me on stage!”
“That’s exactly what I’m worried about.” Iona joked as she put the finishing touches on the Amber sketch. “Who are they going to get to play me? I’m going to end up scrawny in most of these productions!”
Harper got a puzzle box made out of rare metals, with each metal containing a hint about how it was supposed to solve the greater puzzle. My mind had shorted out when the seller had explained it to me, but Harper seemed to understand my verbatim explanation.
“Girl! This. Is. TOTALLY AWESOME! Thank you thank you THANK YOU! This is the best present EVER!”
Harper had looked torn between continuing to be a guest at the party, and running away to a dark corner to start working on it. Iona managed to capture that moment beautifully on her paper, the delighted indecision immortalized.
Sentinel Devour got some unusual animal parts Auri had harvested from the North, and my little phoenix friend continued to be the MVP as she’d also obtained a pair of truly fireproof gloves from The Dungeon, wanting me to pass them off to Atlas for her. For whatever reason, it couldn’t come from her - proper boss-minion etiquette and all that.
Auri had been lurking around a corner until Atlas got his gloves, then she shot over to her rightful place on my shoulder.
“Brrpt!” I was pretty sure she was raising a protest just for the sake of looking like she was protesting. She’d gotten him the gift!
“Auri. I’m not spoiling Atlas rotten. Plus, don’t you want to know what I got you?”
“...Brrpt.” Auri tried to play it cool for half a second before furiously nodding her beak.
I [Teleported] it over - I could not get over how easy the skill made life - and presented it to an adoring Auri.
“BRPT! BRRRPT! BBRPPPRRRPT! Brpt?” Auri bounced up and down on my shoulder in approval, before flying off, wings buzzing.
The enchantments on the thing had been tricky. First was getting it to recognize ‘brrpt’, then keeping everything hyper efficient enough that a small trickle of mana from the arcanite inside was able to continuously power everything.
“Say ‘Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the prettiest of them all?’, and see what happens.” I encouraged her.
Auri shot me a burning stare, and I sighed.
“Yes, I know you don’t speak my language. Try it in brrpt.”
“Brrrpt?” Auri asked the foggy mirror. It cleared up and showed… Auri!
“BRRPT!” Auri was delighted. She had a whole collection of mirrors, but this was a magical, enchanted mirror, one that would show who the prettiest person in the whole world was.
In reality, it was a simple fogging enchantment that was designed to lose power when the passive ‘listening’ enchantment picked up some specific brrpts. That had been crazy hard to do. Of course, since nobody else besides Auri could trigger the mirror - in theory - it would only ever operate properly for her.
Iona’s sketch of the moment included a shit-eating grin on my face that I was sure didn’t exist.
The elderly Titania came up next, and her present was a big one.
“Titania. If I’m not wrong, you’ve wanted to become Immortal, right?” I asked her. She hesitated a moment, glancing quickly between the three of us before nodding.
“It’s been a hope of mine ma’am, but-”
I cut her off.
“Nonsense. You’re practically part of the family, and I can’t have you go dying on us. Come on, let’s go to a private room for this.”
Titania wasted absolutely no time in rushing over, primly sitting on a long low chair the moment we got into the room.
“Is there a target age I’m going for?” I asked her.
Titania’s vitality hadn’t been nearly as high as the rest of us, and time had hit her hard. Not so much that we were worried for her health, and this was a good time to do it.
“My early thirties were a wonderful time, if you could aim for that?” She asked.
I placed my hand on her head, and with minimal fanfare, activated [The Stars Never Fade].
The world faded away, and a lush forest faded in around us. Tall trees reaching for the heavens, laden with fruit, and berry bushes were scattered all around. The cycle of life and death repeated all around me, a tiny sapling growing into a mighty oak on my left, a bamboo thicket being sucked into the ground and returned to seed on my right.
There were no animals, from insects to raptors.
The spinning greenery ended on an empty patch of land, surrounded by vibrant trees. A thousand little pieces of dust gathered together, creating a single tall mushroom in the center of the glade. Then the image faded out, and reality snapped back.
[*ding!* [The Stars Never Fade] leveled up! 511 -> 512]
I braced myself for the appearance of White Dove, the avatar of death, to descend upon us and issue her pronouncement. The curse Titania would have to live under forever more.
It never came.
After a few minutes of awkwardly waiting, Titania got up and stretched.
“Thank you again, ma’am. Should we get back to the party? I’d hate to keep you from your celebration.”
To say I was concerned was understating it a little… but what could I do? Titania had never been anything other than exemplary, no matter how odd that was, and I wasn’t about to poke White Dove and say ‘excuse me, you missed one.’
How… odd.
We returned to the party, and I leaned over to ask Iona a question.
“Titania’s marked as a human in her System, yeah? There’s nothing weird with her status?”
Iona peeked over.
“No, everything looks normal to me. Why, was there something odd?”
“You could say that…” I said.
Nix and his wife and young son swung by the table next. He’d been one of the kids playing ‘monster’ earlier in the grove.
“Nix! Great to see you! I can’t believe you’re retired. It’s unbelievable.” I shook my head, my long hair waving in the breeze.
He chuckled as he sat down.
“Can’t believe it myself. I’d always heard you were Immortal, but seeing it with my own eyes? Seeing everyone get older while you stayed eternally the same?” He whistled. “That’s some trick. How’ve you been? I feel like we haven’t gotten a chance to talk in ages.” He chuckled at his own joke, while his son rolled his eyes.
“Oh, good, good! Thank you for the socks you sent last winter Hasta, I love them! They’re super comfortable.”
We continued to shoot the shit for a while, his son looking more and more uncomfortable, eventually poking Nix.
“Ah right, I should get to it.” Nix straightened up, attaining a military bearing.
“Sentinel Dawn, would you be willing to take my grandson Primus on as an apprentice to learn the healing arts?”
I nodded, figuring out his question six words in.
“Of course I would - wait, grandson!?”
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