Beers and Beards: A Cozy Dwarf Tale

Interlude 1: Grim Satisfaction

“Mine Leader Grim, ID 32498 you have been called to give your report to the Administrator.”

The imposing greybeard in front of him glowered down from a raised desk. The desk was fine mahogany with leather padding and brass buttons. A tiny sculpture of a Mushfolk sat in one corner alongside a tankard that read ‘Beer Drinking Champion of 9808’. The dwarf sat forward in his plush velvet chair and tapped his fingers on the desk in a staccato rhythm as he glowered briefly down at Grim. Grim knew the desk was a recent acquisition, confiscated from an official that had been caught embezzling.

Grim sighed with jealousy. He wanted one. He idly tapped a shoe as the Administrator read over the paperwork; likely with Milestones like [Detect Falsehoods] or [Check Spelling]. Dear Lunara, did Grim ever want [Check Spelling]… He straightened as the greybeard harrumphed. “Yes Sir?”

“Your paperwork mentions this ‘Peter Samson’ rather a lot…” The Administrator stroked his grey streaked beard, which reached all the way to the floor. That was a rather old style; the younger generations preferred not to step on their beard while they walked. Younger being anyone under the age of 600. The Administrator continued, “I have noticed that name before, in a medical report, one moment, [Find Reference].” He reached down and pulled open a drawer, withdrawing a file folder. “Indeed, 10 gold for the services of Doctor Opal as well as a sparkstone. In addition, partial medical fee responsibility for no less than 2 brawls. That 10 gold feels like it is insufficient. From the report, it appears Doctor Opal has been spending a significant amount of time with him.”

Grim interjected. “Yes, but the mental rehabilitation is not added to his indenture, [Relevant Article]. As per Mining Manual V. 342, Section 4, Article 13, Subsection A: All injuries obtained while working as a prisoner within the City of Minnova Prison Mine are to be added to the prisoner’s indenture. Subsection B: Any recurring injuries or required rehabilitation after a significant injury will be paid for by the City of Minnova Miner’s Rehabilitation Fund.”

“Yes, but those funds are MEANT to be used for the citizens of Minnova!” The Administrator thundered, as he pounded the desk.

“The codes do not specify that! Peter Samson was injured in a Minnova Mine and is therefore due recompense from the Minnova Miner’s Rehabilitation Fund!” Grim replied, his voice raised in kind.

The two of them glowered at each other for a bit before the Administrator sighed and slumped into his chair. “Do you feel that the city of Minnova would be well served by exiling this ‘Peter Samson’? We can continue to pay for his medical bills, but he appears to be a troublemaker.”

“Sir, I feel that removing him from the city is an extreme course of action. He has not purposefully instigated any of the brawls, they all stem from his experiments with beer.”

“Yes. Tell me about that.”

“Following prisoner Peter Samson’s near-death experience, he began claiming that beer is ‘bad’” Actually, he’d been claiming it was terrible, but no point in telling this old codger that.

“How strange. Was he of the same opinion before?” The Administrator furrowed his eyebrows in consternation. A dwarf that didn’t like beer? Preposterous!

“No sir, he was arrested on a City of Minnova Civil Infraction 4218: Begging for Beer In An Unsightly Manner. “

“Hmm….”

“Sir, in my opinion Peter Samson is not a danger to the city of Minnova, and should not be exiled. He is a kind and hardworking dwarf, and was responsible for saving the life of a fellow in the incident with miner Balin.” Grim swallowed as he said this. He was putting his neck on the line for Pete here, but he honestly felt it was necessary. Pete did not deserve exile. Sure, he was a bit of an addled fool, but the Pilsner glass was rather interesting. Also, while he’d never admit it…. He kind of liked the Radler. Plus, Doc Opal would have his head if he kicked out the source for all of Bran’s new sweets recipes.

The Administrator grumbled as he shuffled around some paperwork and thumped his stamp a few times. “That brings me to the next thing, Mine Leader!” He growled.

“Yes Sir!” Grim straightened, what was it this time?!

“How is my daughter doing?” The Administrator’s gaze softened as he looked over to the side of the room. There on a well-appointed wooden wall was a painting of the Administrator and two female Dwarves. One of which had a set of pink braids in a Verdi beard that Grim knew quite well.

“Lustre is doing very well, Sir.”

“Do you have plans to give me a grandchild any time this century?” The Administrator arched an eyebrow. Grim choked.

“Assuming I can get enough leave time to see her, Sir?”

“I’m sorry son, you know I can’t do that. If you want a serious position in city administration you need to spend some time on Mine Leader duty. Finish your tenure, get a title, and then we’ll talk.”

“Aye sir.”

“Would you like a drink?”

“Actually, I have to get going soon. We have another Blessing party, and I can’t keep missing those. Especially since they all seem to end in brawls lately.”

“Another one? [Find Reference]. That makes over 4 Blessings this month! That’s unheard of!”

“Yes sir.”

“Interesting… Interesting…” The Administrator tapped his fingers on the desk. “Well, go on then, I won’t keep you from your work any longer. Peter Samson will stay at the City of Minnova Prison Mine, and may the Firmament have mercy on your spirit.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Grim bowed as he made his way out of the office. Dwarf Lord Rodson could be a stick-in-the-mud conservative sometimes, but he was always fair and followed the rules. Grim considered him a reasonable father-in-law as far as fathers-in-law could be concerned. As he stepped over the threshold there was a *bing* and a bright blue light appeared in his vision.

You have performed a favour for the Gods and caught the attention of Lunara! Would you like to accept Her Blessing? If you accept you will receive a title!

Yes/No

A Blessing!? So soon? By Lunara’s Lace, how fortuitous! He thought it would take years to earn another Blessing from Lunara! Getting a second Blessing from the same God was always an order more difficult! Grim grinned through his straight edge moustache as he went to mentally click on ‘Yes’. Then he paused, his legs beginning to quiver.

Wait, what? He had performed a FAVOUR for the Gods? He thought back quickly through the meeting just a moment ago. There had been nothing of great import, no great revelations, and no great plans.

What had he done?!

What by the Firmament had he done?!?!

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