Beers and Beards: A Cozy Dwarf Tale

Chapter 19: Title Drop

“Pete? Peeete. Peter?”

“Go away Balin.”

“Aye, I can do that, but tell me you’re alright first.”

“I’m fine. I just need some space.”

“Alright, I’ll head to the mess hall. You come tell me when you’re ready to talk.”

“Ok. Thanks.”

“I dunno what’s goin on, but I’ll keep it between us. Don’t worry.”

Balin stood up and left me where I lay, staring at the stars. I had fallen to the ground and I wasn’t planning to get up.

Ever.

I looked up at the blue boxes in my vision, uncomprehending.

You have accepted the Blessing of Barck! You have gained [Regeneration] and [Good Luck!]

Your Vitality has increased by 1

Your Perception has increased by 1

Your Blessings from Barck and Tiara can be merged into a Title!

Do you want to gain a Title?

Yes/No

What just happened? I’d finished making gunpowder, and I’d gotten the Blessing I’d half expected. I’d hit ‘no’ because I wanted magic and I needed Archis’s Blessing for that. Instead of vanishing, the prompt had instead forced the Blessing on me.

I rolled around on the ground and screamed into my helmet.

WHERE WAS MY CHOICE!?

Opal had been very clear in her lessons that the single thing the Gods were always constant on was choice. Choice about Blessings, choice about Titles, choice about Milestones, choice choice choice.

SO WHERE WAS MY CHOICE, BARCK!?

You have accepted the Blessing of Barck! You have gained [Regeneration] and [Good Luck]!

What WAS this shit? Is it an Otherworlder thing? Had I run through my allotment of allowed ‘no’s? Was Barck just the absolute ASSHOLE of the gods?

You have accepted the Blessing of Barck! You have gained [Regeneration] and [Good Luck]!

NO, I DIDN’T!!!

I rolled around on the ground and screamed into my helmet a bit more. I did have the presence of mind to avoid bumping into any of my bowls full of gunpowder. Just because I was royally pissed didn’t mean that I’d completely lost my head. Honestly? Screaming into a metal helmet full of beard is a great stress reliver. I’ve used a pillow before but it wasn’t quite the same. The acoustics of the helmet were just perfect.

Eventually I sat up with a sigh and glanced over at the harbingers of my doom. The seven pots full of gunpowder mix sat demurely on a table, unaware of the great crime they had brought upon me. My chance for magic, gone. I couldn’t believe it; I pinched myself, then bit my tongue. Ow! Nope, not a dream, there goes that hope. Seriously though, what just happened? Opal was completely serious when she talked about choice and the Gods.

Could this… get me in huge trouble? Am I cursed by the Gods and so they removed my choice? I don’t think I should tell anyone about this ever. I hope Balin is on the up and up. If he went back to camp and told everyone, “Pete got a Blessin’ forced on ‘im by Barck” I could get the dwarvish inquisition coming after me! I never expected the dwarvish inquisition! I think Balin’s got my back, and he did say he’d keep mum, so I’ll trust him for now.

Your Blessings from Barck and Tiara can be merged into a Title!

Do you want to gain a Title?

Yes/No

I contemplated hitting 'No' as a screw you to Barck. However... Would that mean I could never have a title? I didn't even know Titles existed a year ago, but I knew they were important.

Well, I guess I’m getting a Title.. I have to hope that there was some reason for this madness. Maybe I’m destined to save the world and the Gods have chosen me? By my beard I hope not. If anyone comes and tells me I’m the chosen one, I’m going to choose the other direction. It’s clear that I’m here for one reason and that’s to save dwarvenkind from bad beer. If a demon king shows up to start the apocalypse, I’ll invite him to the pub and we can have some drinks until it all blows over.

Might as well get this over with. I mentally clicked on ‘Yes’. With a *bing* another blue box appeared, followed by four more.

Congratulations!

Please choose two Blessings to combine into a Title!

Tiara of Matter and Barck of Spark

[Strength of All: Self] and [Regeneration] will combine into the Title [Immortal]

An [Immortal] combines a strong body with incredible regeneration.

An [Immortal] stands on the front lines and commands others with a strong voice and undying flesh.

Would you like to become an [Immortal]?

Yes/No

Tiara of Matter and Barck of Innovation

[Strength of All: Self] and [Good Luck] will combine into the Title [Alchemist]

An [Alchemist] is a master of the material world and combines a strong body with stronger luck.

An [Alchemist] can craft and brew mixtures that can heal, harm, or bring about miracles.

Would you like to become an [Alchemist]?

Yes/No

Tiara of Possessions and Barck of Spark

[Strength of All: Held] and [Regeneration] will combine into the Title [Slaver]

A [Slaver] has a strong whip and a stronger life force that grants the ability to dominate others.

A [Slaver] can turn the spark of another into their own possession.

Would you like to become a [Slaver]?

Yes/No

Tiara of Possessions and Barck of Innovation

[Strength of All: Held] and [Good Luck] will combine into the Title [Gambler]

A [Gambler] trusts in the heart of the cards they hold, but are able to make their own luck.

A [Gambler] gambles not only with Gold, but can gamble with Fate itself.

Do you wish to become a [Gambler]?

Yes/No

Opal never really went over all the different Titles. I’m not sure she even knows all of them. Honestly, I kind of tuned out anything not related to magic, and I’m regretting it now. Seriously, a [Slaver] that makes people into possessions? Tiara, you’re one scary Goddess.

I slumped into the chair I’d lugged out here, because this was going to take a while. I needed to examine this from a couple of different perspectives. Did I get a Title here because the Gods have some deeper plan for me, or is there something else at play here. Why Barck in particular? I never had this happen with all the other Blessings. Was there something special about Barck?

First is [Immortal] and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t appeal to me. Just the name makes it sound incredible, let alone the description. Undying flesh? Hell yeah! If I’m going to live in a world with magic and monsters and I wasn’t going to get magic, then a Title that increases my survivability sounded like a pretty hot deal. I bet the ability to get easy Milestones would allow a Title like that to snowball pretty hard. I’ll put [Immortal] in the ‘likely’ pile for now.

Next was [Alchemist] and this one feels a bit too… on the nose. “Can craft and brew mixtures” would sound like a dream come true under other less forced circumstances. Plus, I can only imagine what a ‘miracle’ beer would look like! Could I craft beers that count as potions? Could I use magic ingredients to create magical beer for people who got ACTUAL GODDAMN MAGIC, BARCK?! Either way, this class feels the most like ‘me’ and I’ll put it on my ‘under protest’ pile.

[Slaver]… do I even consider it? I don’t know how I feel about something like [Slaver] being an actual Title with powers granted by the Gods. Aaron is the God of Freedom, so it kind of makes sense that there would also be an aspect of the Gods that opposes that. It’s interesting that Aaron is a God of Freedom, but Tiara isn’t actually a God of tyranny or anything like that. Opal mentioned that the Gods are a reflection of ‘society’ so I wonder if that simply means modern society values freedom far more than bondage. Depending on the bondage, no kink shaming here. I think I’ll put this in my ‘never’ pile. Even if it was out of spite at this entire situation, I don’t think I could live with myself if I became a [Slaver].

Finally, there was [Gambler], and here was the difficult choice. First off, the reference to ‘heart of the cards’ was kind of bugging me. Were these messages based on my own memories? I used to think they were standardized, but that felt really personal. The alternative is that the Gods just made an Earth pop culture reference and that has some uncomfortable connotations. Anyway, I loved myself some mahjong or poker, and I could always beat Caroline and our friends. A Title dedicated to making me rich could be just what Doc Opal ordered. However, what was really catching my eyes was that a [Gambler] could gamble in ‘Fate’ with a capital ‘F’.

If Fate is a thing here, I strongly suspected I wanted nothing to do with it. Nothing good could come of putting ‘Otherworlder’ and ‘Fate’ together in the same sentence. Would becoming a [Gambler] trap me in some terrible fate, or give me the power to avoid it?

I decided to do what all sensible men, uh dwarves, will do when put into a conundrum like this. Go ask a woman.

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“[Alchemist] or [Immortal].”

“Are ya sure? What’s wrong with [Gambler]?”

I was currently standing at the Goat pens with Doc Opal. She had just arrived back from a call to one of the other camps and I was helping her remove all the tack from a grey coloured unigoat.

“It has terrible connotations, and can result in ruin just as much as success.”

“What about this ‘Gamble with Fate’ thing?”

“Grim has me on standby for your ‘Spontaneous Combustion’ so I believe you gamble with fate already.”

“Oh.”

Opal smirked.

“I could always grab [Slaver]. Maybe put a collar on Bran and have him beg for recipes?” I asked as I unbuckled one of a dozen buckles.

“If you pick [Slaver] I will stop being your friend.”

“Awwww, we’re friends?”

“To my dismay, that appears to have become the case.”

“Thanks Opal.” I grunted and heaved as the two of us removed the saddle. We moved it into the tack closet and took a moment to catch our breath. Opal turned to me with a questioning gaze as we locked the unigoat in a paddock labeled ‘Dusty’.

“I admit to being confused by this. I thought you wanted the Blessing of Archis.”

“Uh, I decided I wanted [Regeneration]. It sounded too good to pass up.” I attempted a bald-faced lie and I regretted it instantly, Opal deserved better, but I was really spooked by this whole thing.

“True, you do tend to walk a razor’s edge.” Opal eyed me, but she didn’t seem to suspect anything.

“So, your recommendations are [Alchemist] or [Immortal] then?”

“Yes. [Immortal] is a popular title due to the vigor it provides. Many greybeards are Titled [Immortals], and it is a trusted Title. [Alchemists] can get a bad name if they mess with poisons or toxic fumes, but potions are always in high demand. Also, I think you’d have a gift for alchemy.”

“Hmmm…. Alright. Thanks Opal.”

“Take some time to think on it, and congratulations!”

“Yaaaaaaay.” I gave a half-hearted cheer and made my way back to my gunpowder station.

I wasn’t going to think on it. I’d made my decision. I’d made it even before I talked with Opal, but she’d helped me come to terms with myself.

I glanced over at one of the blue boxes and with a firm feeling in my heart, I mentally clicked on ‘Yes’.

With a jolt, the powers of an [Alchemist] flowed into me.

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