Beers and Beards: A Cozy Dwarf Tale

On the side of a cliff stood a white stone gazebo. Mist fell from a great waterfall that stretched beneath it, vanishing into the clouds below. A black mountain rose up behind it, seeming to touch the sky. A circular marble table covered by a complex game-board sat in the centre of the gazebo. The edges of the board stretched into the distance while still somehow filling a defined space. Seven ornate figurines sat upon the board – a dragon, an elf, one human, two dwarves, a gnome, and a beastfolk.

Eight Gods sat around the board, each radiating an aura of power and majesty.

Two of them were drunk.

“Barck, I swear that I will tie your beard to a tree and toss it off the waterfall if you don’t stop giggling!” The Goddess Lunara, the ebon-skinned elven Goddess of Law and Order snarled.

“I cannae halp it Lunara!” The cheery dwarven God of Spark and Innovation sniggered, holding a large glass bottle to his chest and giving it a hug. The bottle sank into his green beard and vanished from sight. “This new beer from Minnova causes laughin’. They call it Gigglebrew!”

“I *hic* prefer this eisbock of Peter Roughtuff’s.” A morose voice sighed from further around the table. “Helps me forget…” Midna, the human Goddess of Spirit and Communication, took a giant swig from a black Whistlemug. Then she belched and crashed face first onto the table.

Solen, the dragon-headed God of Chaos and Freedom, frowned at the pair of drunks. “Can you two pay attention for a moment? We’re about to vote on who gets all the Karma coming out of Crack. Lunara, you may say your piece.”

Lunara stood tall and regal, her gown of moonlight spilling around her. “As you all know, my Chosen Catalyst was the one who instigated all the Change happening in and around Kinshasa. I believe Thad Harmsson should receive the resulting Karma. While he may be in prison and unable to affect much Change himself, he still has a hand in it as Minister of Finance. Additionally, none of the aforementioned Change would have occurred without his actions. Peter Roughtuff, while he may have been involved, was not directly responsible and should not receive any of the Karma. I ask that you vote to direct all the Karma resulting from Crack’s political state to my Chosen.”

There was brief applause from the tiny gnomish Goddess of Matter and Possessions, Tiara. Lunara nodded severely and stepped back from the table.

“Uh oh! He always has lots to say!” A young human girl giggled – Yearn, the multi-faceted goddess of Nether and Relationships squirmed in her chair. “Can we vote now? I’m booooored.”

“Aye, I got lots to say.” Barck said, calming his giggles. “But I’ll keep it short. None of what happened in Kinshasa were ‘cause of ‘yer lad alone, Lunara. Pete is just as deservin’ of that Karma as anyone else. The only reason this is even an argument is ‘cause yer a namby pamby sore loser. ‘Sides, you already got what you wanted. Why’re you complainin’?”

“Says you.” Aaron, the antlered beastfolk God of Aether and Exchange muttered. “Not all of us have been so successful. The only one of us that’s seen more Change in their Portfolios than you is Archis.”

So saying, he conjured a hunk of meat and tore into it with a frustrated growl. He went at it with gusto, and Solen edged away from the splatter zone.

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Across the table, an elderly looking man in heavily be-runed robes, the God of Magic and Knowledge Archis, smiled with a twinkle in his eyes and waved his fingers. “Oh, I’m having a lovely go this time around! Can you believe that an enterprising young student in Kinshasa University is about to discover magic can be activated with acting? How marvelous! We’ll see a golden age of magic, just you wait!”

“Ahhhhhh…………” Midna’s muffled wail penetrated her grimy mop of black hair from where she lay face down on the table. Her Chosen’s piece lay off to the side of the board, alone and forgotten. The other assembled Gods gave her sympathetic looks, and Solen cleared his throat.

“Very well. Let the vote begin. The Karma gained by the changes to the ruling system of Crack, and the rapid spread of Democratic systems, should be given solely to Lunara’s Chosen Catalyst Thadd Harmsson. Hands up for Yea.”

Midna, Yearn, Aaron, and Tiara raised their hands.

“Tiara, you traitor!” Barck grumbled. “How about you tell that elven Chosen of yours to keep his mitts off Pete!”

“Hey, your boy is getting a bit too ahead of everyone else. He doesn’t need the Karma!” Tiara snapped back. “And stop whining, you’ll probably get even more new drinks out of it!”

“He’s still losing to meeeeee!!!” Yearn cackled, as her form shifted to that of an elderly gnomish woman with a shrill laugh.

“You didn’t put yer hand up.” Aaron observed, giving Lunara a curious gaze. “Why give that whole speech if you weren’t going to vote for yourself?”

“I am unable to deny that Peter Roughtuff helped.” Lunara sniffed. “I was trying to convince all of you.”

There was laughter around the table, and even Midna stopped groaning.

“It looks like a tie.” Solen said, smiling with a mouth full of sharp teeth. “As host, I am the tiebreaker.”

Lunara rolled her eyes. “Fine, just say it.”

“Hmm….” Solen rolled out the word, clearly taking pleasure in Lunara’s discomfort. “I think I’ll vote for…. giving all the Karma to Harmsson.”

“WHAT!?” Barck yelped. Lunara clapped her hands with pleasure and gave Solen a beaming smile.

“Why the change in heart?” Archis asked.

“I just wanted to watch Lunara squirm.” Solen smirked, then pointed at Barck. “And shove it to you. You’ve been getting a bit full of yourself, Barck! You’re lucky I even let you back in!”

“BAH!” Barck harrumphed. “I hope you get knots in yer beard. See if I share any of these new beers with you.”

“I prefer elven wine. I have refined tastes.” Solen sniffed. "And my scaled skin is immaculately clear of anything so vulgar as follicles."

Tiara’s gaze on Solen grew sharp. “You’re in a good mood. What happened?”

Solen shifted guiltily. “Nothing.”

Aaron went ramrod stiff and his eyes grew vacant, as though his vision was elsewhere. A moment later he hissed, “The dragons! The dragons are gone!!!”

“What did your Chosen do?” Tiara asked with horror. “What did he do!?!”

Solen chuckled, then guffawed, and then his toothy roaring laughter filled the gazebo and echoed out over the waterfall as it spilled out into the universe.

Far, far, down below, cutting through the mists that covered the great ocean that lay between the continents of Drakken and North Erden, the race of dragons winged onward, a great black behemoth at their helm.

For the first time in eons, the dragons were on the move.

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