Beers and Beards: A Cozy Dwarf Tale

Book 2: Chapter 36: Mine, all Mine

*Bing!*

New Quest: Deadly Ambush Part 1/2

You’ve been ambushed! Defeat your attackers or live long enough for help to arrive!

Time Remaining: Variable

Attacker’s Slain: 0/4

Rewards: +0.2 Agility, +0.2 Perception

Do you accept?

Yes / No

I swore as I hit accept and ducked under a thrown dagger. These guys were NOT messing around. Rather than run further, I dove towards Annie and Copperpot. My decision proved wise as Copperpot shouted “[Safety Shield]!” and a grey dome of energy sprang up around us. Our first attacker bounced off the shield and nimbly flipped in the air to land on their feet. A volley of daggers followed after, each *spanging* off the shield in turn.

“You know, you don’t need to shout your Abilities out loud.” I panted.

“Shaddup.” Copperpot pulled a stone out of his pocket and held it to his lips. “Guards, we’re under attack in the warehouse, come fast. Both of you, get ready.” He said the last while pointing to Annie and me.

There was a *tsk* from the four black robed gnomes surrounding us, and they vanished before my eyes. Wait, no, my [Minimap] indicated where they were, and with its aid I could just make out their translucent forms as they flanked us. My brain kept telling me there was nothing there; it felt like forcing my mind to accept something it knew wasn’t real, like an optical illusion or one of those stupid see-ing eye puzzles that I was never able to do as a child. It must be Yearn's [Nothingess] Blessing, or an upgraded version of it.

Annie dropped Copperpot and began shouting. “ACTUAL [ASSASSINS]!? GODS DAMN YOU BOTH!! I SHOULD HAVE STAYED HOME!!”

Copperpot grunted as a vial smashed onto the dome above us, spilling sizzling liquid. Droplets oozed down the side of the forcefield and where they landed the ground bubbled and popped. “That’s not good. Dome is down in four seconds. Guards should get here in less than a minute. Stay close to me. Pete, are you able to see them?”

I pointed, and Copperpot spun his beanie. I activated [Flash of Insight].

A few things happened at once.

Copperpot’s shield dropped and the pale green liquid rained down on us. A massive gust of wind screamed from Copperpot’s whirling beanie and blew the acid away. It sprayed indiscriminately around the room, and one of the gnomes behind us fell back holding his face and screaming. A few flecks landed on my armor and I watched with horror as the metal sizzled and melted. To my relief the liquid boiled away a moment later, leaving scored metal.

Copperpot flicked his finger while shouting ”[Arc Welder]!”, and white hot fire sliced through one of our attackers, promptly separating them into two.

Had… had I just watched someone die? I felt my stomach turn, but there was no time to think about it.

Five daggers were already in the air, but they were blown away in the gust of wind. Another three followed an instant later. My [Flash of Insight] saw them coming and told me what to do.

One dagger tunked into Copperpot’s chest, but everyone wore armour down here.

Annie swore as I kicked her feet out from under her and a knife whizzed past her nose.

I thought [Flesh of Stone] just in time for the last dagger to punch a bare millimeter into my neck before clattering to the ground.

*Bing!*

Quest Updated: Deadly Ambush Part 1/2

You’ve been ambushed! Defeat your attackers or live long enough for help to arrive!

Time Remaining: 35 seconds

Attacker’s Slain: 2/4

Rewards: +0.2 Agility, +0.2 Perception

*Bing!*

Condition Gained: [Poisoned: Minor]!

You have gained the [Poisoned: Minor] Condition!

The world went dark, but I could still see the [Minimap] in my subconscious. When I’d first used [Flesh of Stone] I’d been left in a dark world, so the added outside perception was nice. Two red dots indicating living ambushers rocketed across the room towards Copperpot ingnomishly fast; probably a [Charge] Ability of some type.

One of the red dots immediately flew in the opposite direction then blinked out.

*Bing!*

Quest Updated: Deadly Ambush Part 1/2

You’ve been ambushed! Defeat your attackers or live long enough for help to arrive!

Time Remaining: 32 seconds

Attacker’s Slain: 3/4

Rewards: +0.2 Agility, +0.2 Perception

The third paused on top of Copperpot’s dot as my Ability ended and I could move again. The last standing Titled [Assassin], if that was what they actually were, happened to be the one who’d attacked us first. He was wrestling with Copperpot in a puddle of Copperpot's [Lubricate]. Copperpot screamed as a dagger buried into his hand, but in return a spike sprang out from his chest armour and pierced into the shifting mass of colour that was his attacker. Blood oozed from both, but their desperate grapple continued.

Annie was running for the door we’d come in from, having made the decision to flee now that the majority of our attackers were dead. Or maybe not; she grabbed a bottle from a nearby rack and tossed it at the final [Assassin]’s head. They vaulted backwards in an impossible feat of gymnastics, dodging the bottle, and Copperpot stumbled away.

The [Assassin] swung his blade in an arc that I recognized as an evolved form of my own [Basic Slash].

Copperpot’s body twisted to the side as though pulled by invisible strings; a [Dodge] Ability.

The Assassin’s foot lanced out in a practiced, flowing, follow-up, and landed on Copperpot’s torso. Copperpot flew across the room and into a fermentation tank. He bounced off the metal with a decidedly ugly *THUMP* sound and fell to the floor. The Assassin rushed at his prone form, but was forced to stop by a deluge of glass as I joined Annie in tossing bottles. Almost contemptuously, the shifting figure dipped and dodged, and emerged from the sharp rain unscathed.

Time Remaining: 20 seconds

Copperpot stirred on the ground, and rolled an Aetherstone across the floor onto the puddle of lubricant. It ignited and spewed noxious black smoke into the warehouse. Copperpot and the [Assassin] were suddenly separated by a wall of fire. Copperpot pulled himself into a seated position with a groan, blood dripping down his forehead.

There was a brief pause as the two glared at each other over the licking flames. Then, with a flicker of movement, more green liquid arced over the inferno and onto Copperpot.

“[Neutralize], [Move Furniture].” Copperpot said with a note of finality as the acid splashed over him. And then the ENTIRE GODDAM FERMENTATION TANK behind him flung across the room and smashed into the [Assassin].

There was a *CRASH!!!!* and the screech of tearing metal. Dust and debris exploded around the room and Annie yelped with pain. It was impossible to see through the dust, but in my [Minimap] the red dot of the [Assassin] fled as a dozen other dots descended on our position.

*Bing!*

Quest Complete: Deadly Ambush Part 1/2

Pathetic performance. But hey, at least you're alive!

Gained 0.2 Agility! Your new Agility is 12.2!

Gained 0.2 Perception! Your new Perception is 18.4!

*Bing!*

New Quest: Deadly Ambush Part 2/2

Find the bastards that dared to try and kill you. Make them pay!

Attacker Unmasked: 0/1

Attacker Slain: 0/1

Rewards: [Perceive Ambush]

Do you accept?

Yes / No

My vision went red as I mentally hit Yes. ThEy woULd PAy!!

—

The guards formed a ring around us while one of them wrapped a bandage around Copperpot’s hand. Not that he seemed to need it, as his skin was already nearly stitched back together. A couple were finishing extinguishing the fire.

“Ah, truly we must thank Barck. Without [Regeneration] more of our curious inventors would surely have killed themselves throughout history.” Copperpot muttered while staring at his bloody hand. “Pete, were you poisoned as well?”

“Aye, but it says ‘Minor’.” I was still feeling… shocky? Maybe? This whole night felt surreal, like I was watching a movie. A bad movie, where every second I was being forced to watch it made me angry and antsy. I was probably going to have nightmares for years.

“Is your Vitality over 18? If so, [Regeneration] will keep you from keeling over. No need for an antidote. It’ll help train your Vitality.”

“What about you, Copperpot?” Annie asked, a note of worry seeping into her voice. “You, uh, don’t look very good.”

Indeed, black veins were running up Copperpot’s arm from the cut on his hand. Pulsing black veins that were slowly creeping towards his chest. His skin was white and waxy, and he was tipping over.

“Ah yes. I’m going to die in a few minutes.” Copperpot closed his eyes and sighed. “I have the [Fatally Poisoned] Condition.”

“Then why aren’t we running for the nearest [Healer]!?”

“There’s no way that we’ll get to a [Healer] or [Toxicologist] with an antidote in time. Additionally, we don’t know what I’ve been poisoned with, and I don’t want to run out into an ambush.”

Annie was hyperventilating. “This is crazy! You’re crazy! I can’t believe I almost died to gnomish [Assassins]! Why can’t you just battle each other in the field like decent folk! And now you’re just sitting here waiting to die!?”

“And how did yer guards not catch them?” I complained. “Shouldn’t they have been, I dunno, checking every shipment that came in here?? Someone should be fired. Out of a cannon. Oh, and I’m miffed that you didn’t better explain the sheer magnitude of these ‘Gnomish Assassins’ you’ve been alluding to. What if they’d attacked me or Annie somewhere else!?”

Copperpot shifted, then coughed. He wiped his lips. “They wouldn’t have gone after you. You're dwarves. Those were highly Specialized stealth combat operatives. Likely [Toxic Assassins] based off of the [Rogue] Title. They’re Blessed by Yearn and Lunara and have an advanced form of [Nothingness] called [Emptiness] that allows them to avoid detection and fit in places you wouldn’t normally expect them to. I admit, I wasn’t expecting to fight four. That represented a significant amount, if not all of someone’s elite fighting force. They went all in. Idiots.”

I sneered. “How in tha Nether do a bunch of killers have tha Blessing of the Goddess of Law and Order?”

“Loyalty and dedication to a creed or greater authority.” Annie replied. “It’s actually easy to get Lunara’s Blessing if you do it right. Why are we discussing this!? Copperpot, can we do anything for you?”

“What’s a cannon?” Copperpot hacked and wheezed. “Tell a dying old gnome?”

Annie’s face was drawn and haggard, but I rolled my eyes and said, “I know what you’re doing. You’re way too nonchalant about this, and you’ve been expecting something to happen. There’s no way you don’t have a way to deal with it.”

“Ah, pity. [Tool Bag].” Copperpot pulled a glowing bottle out of nowhere and drank it down. The black veins on his arm immediately receded, and his skin quickly grew rosy again.

“Slagit.” Annie swore, with quite a bit more vehemence than usual. I added the word to my growing list of dwarven swears.

“If it makes you feel better, that Panacea potion cost more than this entire enterprise combined.” Copperpot gestured around the room. “It represents a serious loss, and is almost impossible to replace.”

“Yer life is worth it.” I pointed out.

“Hmmm… arguably.” Then he smiled, wickedly. “However, three dead elite enemy operatives more than outweighs the cost of any potion. All I lost was money tonight, but an enemy lost loyal and powerful assets. Tonight, someone became weak and vulnerable.”

“The Mine Corporation.” I hissed.

Copperpot nodded. “Most likely. Now, one moment. [Major Repairs].”

And with that, the fermentation tank righted itself and was rapidly made whole. It was in the wrong spot, and the floor was still scorched and pitted, but in a few seconds it was as though the metal tank had never been damaged.

“You, send for our carpentry crew, and you, run to Pot Manor and tell my father what happened here. We need to strike back while the iron is hot.” Copperpot commanded a pair of junior guards, who saluted and ran off.

“Is anyone gonna tell me who I can hit after I’m done smashing in Copperpot’s knees?” Annie asked sweetly. She was lazily swinging a long wooden stir stick in one hand. “Are you sure it was the Mine Corporation?”

Copperpot took a hesitant step back. “They’re the only ones desperate and stupid enough to throw away resources like this. But then, I really don’t think they were here for us. I think they were going to destroy the building with those acid bottles. You forced their hand, Pete. They must have had an Ability that notified them that you’d spotted them and changed their plans. Honestly, Corporate Combat is not usually… this over the top. How did you do that, by the way?”

I shrugged. “An Ability. I’m not telling you more than you deserve.”

Copperpot shrugged back. “I suppose I deserve that…”

“Oh, you deserve far worse.” Annie said, and hit him in the knees with her stick.

While she chased Copperpot around the room and the guards considered whether or not they should intervene, I walked over to where a pool of blood sat on the floor. I stared at it, thinking of my new quest.

“Hey Copperpot, is there a way of finding someone with their blood?” I eventually asked.

Copperpot waddled over, wincing in pain. “Yes. A Titled [Hexer] could. However, that’s a banned Title and I honestly don’t know one.”

I hrmed. “Can I have some tea?”

“I already have a pot going. Are you thirsty, or just needing some comfort, like me?” Copperpot groaned.

“It’ll definitely make me feel better.”

A guard soon brought over a pair of teacups, and I reached down to dip my finger in the blood on the floor. Then, to Copperpot’s horrified surprise, I dipped said finger into my tea and stirred. Then took a sip.

“What - what are you doing!? I’ve heard some dwarves revel in the blood of their enemies, but you never struck me as the type, Pete!” He choked.

“I’m making a soothing tea. And intentionally adding an extra ingredient.” I said offhandedly, and took a sip of the tea. My attention was on my [Minimap], where the filters listed every ingredient I’d ever used. I spun through them, until I reached a brand new entry - Gnomish Blood: Ambermine. My vision turned red as I flicked it to On.

GOt YoU, ASsHOle.

*Bing!*

Quest Updated: Deadly Ambush Part 2/2

Find the bastards that dared to try and kill you. Make them pay!

Attacker Unmasked: 1/1

Attacker Slain: 0/1

Rewards: [Perceive Ambush]

I took another sip of the tea, victoriously, then my eyes widened as I came to my senses. I spat an atomized spray directly into Copperpot’s face. “Agh!!!! That’s disgusting!”

Copperpot screamed and pawed at his eyes. “MY FACE!! THIS IS NOT A SOOTHING TEA!!!”

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