Beacon of Light in the Dark Sea

Chapter 128

I remember the people crushed by cars. And those who died from gunshots in a place filled with groans and screams. The sound of bodies hitting the floor from the recoil of bullets lodged in their heads. I spoke in a daze:

“People actually died. They died miserably like trash!”

“When?”

At John’s curious question, I felt like someone was choking me. Should I say what I experienced was in the future? Or in the past? Does it become non-existent because it hasn’t happened yet? I’m the only one who remembers those deaths.

My voice must have been quite loud because Seo Jihyuk approached and grabbed John’s head with one hand, instantly pinning him to the floor. The man fell to the side with a choked sound.

“Are you okay?”

Seo Jihyuk asked, quickly scanning me with his eyes, but in reality, nothing was okay. My head was tangled like a mess of threads.

Why do Infinity Church people all say different things? Is the goal just to go to the past, as Canoe said? Do you go to the past if you offer money and jewels and wait? Then what about those Infinity Church bastards who were shooting people with guns? Why does the research center need to be destroyed with torpedoes? And what about the engineers walking around the 4th Underwater Base with guns?

…Why is this so complicated? I’m a simple human being. A human who can be happy with just a cup of coffee.

I was afraid of what Seo Jihyuk might do to that man if I said I wasn’t okay, so I swallowed my depression with an inhale and answered:

“I’m fine.”

Seo Jihyuk didn’t release his grip on the man’s head pinned to the floor. Then he glanced at me and said:

“Don’t listen to what these cult bastards say. It’s just the talk of desperate people trying to lure others in.”

The more I hear about Infinity Church, the more I feel like I don’t know what’s what. People are actually dying, so either that religion is internally in complete disarray, or some of the people I’ve met are lying. It feels like my insides are being scraped raw.

“Someone… seems to be lying, but I don’t know what’s a lie and what’s the truth.”

Seo Jihyuk answered me without taking his eyes off the other person:

“A cult religion? That’s possible. My father was a pastor of a pretty big church, but cults completely disintegrated the church. They didn’t even need guns. They came with just their tongues, and it disappeared.”

Can a church disappear? Well, I guess. If a four-story underwater base can collapse, a church could disappear even more easily.

Thinking about it now, what does it mean to treat people humanely? Does that mean if we ride up the central elevator and obediently lie face down on the floor in the 2nd Underwater Base, they’ll spare our lives? It’s laughable for people with guns to talk about anything humane in the first place. If you need power to forcibly handle others in order to show mercy, that mercy isn’t for others. It’s probably just part of the process of the powerful gaining benefits. How can you trust in peace achieved through someone else’s generosity when the situation can change at any time? And should I be grateful that they’re not shooting me? …Crazy cult fanatics. Why do they all say different things, confusing me?

“I don’t know what to believe.”

“Ah, there’s an answer for that.”

Seo Jihyuk said that and then called out to Lee Jihyun, who was looking at the underwater base bulletin board on her pad.

“Jihyun!”

“What!”

“When you don’t know who to believe, what should you do?”

“…What are you talking about? There’s no one to trust but the Lord!”

“See?”

Seo Jihyuk shrugged at me. …Where’s the answer in that? Is it saying not to trust anyone?

The fortunate thing was that thanks to Seo Jihyuk’s distraction, my thoughts about Infinity Church were somewhat diluted. The emotions that had overflowed in my chest from tension and sadness diminished as time passed, and now only sighs remained. If all the sighs I’ve let out in the underwater base were collected, I feel like they would have already shortened my lifespan.

I heard crying and turned my head to see that Henry had woken up and was crying.

“Daddy! Mommy! Mommy! Where are you! Mommy!”

Yoo Geum-yi and Tumanako, who were next to the crying child, were flustered and at a loss. Yoo Geum-yi made a hissing sound like a snake and said:

“Calm down. Stop! Stop! Stop crying. Shh! Shh! Don’t cry.”

“Yeah, stop crying. Your mom isn’t here.”

“Why isn’t Mommy here!”

“Aah! No, no. Your mom must be somewhere around here. I’m sorry! I said it wrong!”

Tumanako joined in, but it didn’t have much effect in comforting the child. Waah! The child started crying more pitifully while flailing backwards. The two were trying their best to stop the crying child somehow.

Watching this, I rummaged through my bag and took out a few sugar-free candies. It would have been better if there was a doll.

I slowly approached, picked up the crying Henry, held him tight in the darkness, and slowly patted his back. Kids are surprisingly strong. I remembered when I was trying to dress the paw of my friend’s 20kg large dog when it got injured. It’s better to hug a dog from behind. Kids can even kick because they’re bipedal. I tried to make my voice as soft as possible and said:

“It’s scary to wake up and see only strangers around, isn’t it? Yeah, yeah. I know it’s very scary. Mom and Dad aren’t next to you, and there are only strangers all around. Right?”

It doesn’t matter whether the child understands or not. First of all, scared children need time to calm down. I hugged the child tightly and patted his back diligently. I could feel my chest getting wet with tears and snot.

“Mommy! Daddy.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay. Are you very scared? It’ll be alright. I’ll find your mom and dad for you. Even if I can’t find them, the child protection law will work hard to find your parents for you. It’s okay. Don’t worry. Henry doesn’t need to worry. We’ll find your mom and dad somehow.”

As I patted his back at a steady pace while holding him tightly, his intense emotions began to subside bit by bit. Even adults would be incredibly scared if they woke up in an unfamiliar place surrounded by strangers, so this reaction is brave for a 7-year-old child.

The gym was still dark, with only a few people’s faces glowing ghost-like from the light of their pads, and the surroundings were filled with bizarrely stacked exercise equipment. The walls had large diagrams of how to use the equipment or pictures of the Ophion snake. If I had woken up in a place like this instead of my room, I would have screamed loud enough to shake the gym. I kept explaining while patting the child’s back:

“We’re going to find your mom. We’re going to find your dad too. Our brave Henry needs to lead us to find both of them.”

When the child’s crying subsided a bit, I put him down on the floor and met his eyes up close. His face looked like he wanted to cry out loudly and demand his parents right away, but I quickly unwrapped a candy and said:

“I’m a dentist. I’ll watch to make sure Henry eats only 3 candies. After eating the candy, we’ll go find your mom and dad. Eat the candy, Henry.”

“Mom… Mom said I shouldn’t eat it because it rots teeth…”

As the child spoke tearfully, preparing to load and fire another bout of crying, I simply said. This is the most important part. Speaking with a firm expression that leaves no room for wavering:

“You have to eat all the candy. We’re going to find your mom and dad. You have to eat all the candy. You must eat it all. We’re going to find your mom and dad.”

After this was repeated twice, Henry put the candy in his mouth while tears streamed down his face. He stopped crying faster because I’m not his parent. Children cry differently depending on the person and situation.

Doing this for 5 minutes is really draining. Actually… this is just a stopgap measure. He’s bound to cry again later. It seems like crying because I lied to him is already a scheduled step.

At the dental clinic, kids start crying from the front door. Many parents either lie to their children and bring them, or if it’s their first visit, they come without knowing anything. Sometimes parents have to run a marathon to catch a child who runs away after hearing the sound of a hand drill. Some kids clean the entire floor with their tears while struggling like possessed octopuses.

“Our Henry is so brave. Let’s go find your mom and dad after you finish the candy.”

Quickly, shower him with praise! Following my cue, Geum-yi and Tumanako praised Henry with voices that sounded like their souls had left their bodies. Yoo Geum-yi spoke in an even more tired voice:

“Henry eats candy well. Let’s go find your mom. When we find your mom, I think I’ll have a lot to say to her.”

“…I’m going home with Dad.”

“Oh, sweet Henry. Is the candy tasty? You’re eating it well. Yes, let’s go home. When I find your dad, I’m going to shave all his hair off.”

Tumanako whispered the last part through gritted teeth. Suppressing the laughter that was about to burst out at those words, I stroked the head of the child who was trying hard to dissolve the large candy in his mouth.

Even though the child just cried, I felt like my head had unexpectedly cleared up. Let’s just think about going back. What does it matter if it’s Infinity Church or whatever? Let’s just think about going home. Let’s just think about leaving this underwater base. Why should I care how messed up their religion is?

Kang Soojung looked at Henry, who had stopped crying, with a complicated expression and said to me:

“You’re good with kids.”

“It’s rare for a child with perfectly healthy teeth to come to the dental clinic.”

I answered with an awkward smile. A few weeks ago, a 6-year-old who came to the clinic had fallen hard, breaking his front teeth and splitting his lip. The child didn’t stop crying until he left the clinic. The child’s mother left the clinic like a zombie, carrying a siren that wouldn’t stop wailing no matter what she did. Kang Soojung spoke to her team leader with an uncomfortable expression:

“…Is it a good choice to take such a young child with us in this situation? He’s not even a Korean national. That kid’s father is that bastard Leonard from the American team.”

Shin Hae-ryang took his eyes off the map on the pad and said to Kang Soojung:

“We’re taking him.”

Kang Soojung sighed deeply enough to sink into the ground. I felt my damp chest and around my shoulders with my hand and said:

“I’ll take care of him.”

“To defend my humanity a bit, if this child were a Korean national or born to good parents, I wouldn’t be saying this.”

Neither of those is something that child could choose.

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