Bamboo Forest Manager

Chapter 90: Dick Party

Isn’t there this saying?

I’m unsure as to where it originated from, but it says that men become friends after fighting. Whether it was spoken by our ancestors, or whether it’s a line from a movie or a drama.

Strictly speaking, it doesn’t seem to be entirely off the mark.

Perhaps it’s not about becoming friends after fighting, but the act of fighting itself which brings people closer?

Because if you’re about to smash the other person’s head in with an alcohol bottle, it’s not about fighting and becoming friends, but rather ending up in the hospital or police station.

“Hey! Hey you bastard!”

“Whoa! Calm down!”

I try to stop Chan-woo, who is about to smash Pyo Jinho’s head with the empty bottle.

Honestly, I was a bit embarrassed because, although Chan-woo was the one who decided, the pork belly at this place was really bad.

“You know it! It’s because of that jerk!”

It seems my friendship with him isn’t strong enough yet to say that he looks handsome even when he’s shouting loudly when drunk. Anyway, I’m trying hard to calm him down, but the actual target is sitting there, drinking and crying.

Yes.

“Waaaah! Arin-aaaaa!”

This bastard, pretending to be all manly only a day before, is now just crying his eyes out.

I’m not sure what kind of image Pyo Jinho has for Yu Arin and Jeong Chan-woo, but to me, he’s just a pushover.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Looking at Han-kang and Ahn Hyeon-ho comforting Pyo Jinho, who is crying and suffering,

I felt like it was going to be a very tough day.

About two hours had passed since we were at the pork belly restaurant. The soybean paste stew was getting cold, and the meat was hard, but the glasses were still moist, never cleaning out.

Before we knew it, enough bottles had piled up for us to play dominoes with, and the shop owner’s face was blooming with a beaming smile.

“Hey, youuuu! Did Iiii! Ever tell youuuu? That I like Yerin!”

Because of Han-kang, who kept talking to me, my head was throbbing and I felt dizzy.

I don’t usually get drunk on soju or beer, but maybe because I drank too much, I felt more nauseous than I thought.

Ahn Hyeon-ho has already been in the bathroom for 30 minutes without coming out.

“You bastarddd! I’m telling you! I’m telling you!”

Han-kang is completely drunk and acting like an old retard now.

“Did I, did I say that? That I like Yerin.”

How can someone become such an idiot in just two hours?

It seems like the problem was that we kept drinking non-stop to break the awkward atmosphere.

I wish I could have gotten drunk too. Taking care of these close to blacking out drunks is more than annoying; it’s infuriating to me.

“Exactlyyyy!”

“Seriously! Arin-aaaa! I loved youuuu!”

“Ughhhhh! Arin-aaaa!”

Watching from the opposite side, Pyo Jinho and Jeong Chan-woo, who seemed like sworn enemies just moments ago, were now hugging each other tightly, sharing the pain of their heartbreak.

“Shit.”

I could feel my tongue getting slightly loose, but with a mindset of not caring anymore, I just grabbed the soju bottle and gulped it down like mouthwash.

“Ugh.”

A headache that feels like it’s going to split my head open wakes me up, signaling a red alert from my body. My eyes won’t open properly, and twisting my body around, it almost feels like someone glued my eyes shut last night.

Flailing my arms around, my hand finds my cellphone.

As soon as I barely opened my eyes, I checked the time on my cellphone, and it was already lunchtime.

Considering there were lectures in the afternoon today, I should be rushing right now, but…

‘No, can’t do it today. I give up.’

It seemed like I had to declare a personal day off today.

This is what being a university student is all about.

Anyway, it was a relief that the ceiling was familiar. I was proud of myself for making it home despite drinking enough to split my head open.

As I slowly woke up…

“…Whose phone is this?”

I began to sense something was off.

The moment I realized the phone I was checking the time on wasn’t mine, I abruptly got up.

“Ugh!”

Suddenly moving violently, I rushed to the bathroom, overwhelmed by dizziness and nausea.

“What the hell is this!?”

Ahn Hyeon-ho is sprawled next to the toilet, asleep. After kicking him and vomiting into the toilet, I leave the bathroom.

Only now do I see the true state of the room.

Han-kang is asleep, embracing a mannequin wearing fishnet lingerie he must have picked up somewhere.

Pyo Jinho is slumped over, draped across the window like laundry.

And finally, Chan-woo is.

“…Who is that?”

He’s asleep, hugging some bald guy I’ve never seen before…

It seems necessary to sort out what exactly is going on here.

Excluding the bald guy, everyone sat around with bird’s nest hair.

Every breath was so reeking of alcohol, I wanted to ask them to hold their breath.

“Get lost.”

I had gathered them to sort things out, but for some reason, I ended up telling them my true feelings to get lost from my place.

“You’re the one who grabbed me.”

Still feeling nauseous, Ahn Hyeon-ho’s face is pale he tries to breathe regularly.

“We were all leaving, and you sat down on the street saying let’s sleep over at your house and.”

“……”

Having done the same thing to some girls before, I had no choice but to keep my mouth shut.

Anyway.

“Let’s try to sort this out. Yesterday, at the pork belly restaurant… Did we go to a beer place for a second round?”

I ask, frowning because my memory is all fuzzy, and next to me, Han-kang mumbles while patting his forehead.

“Hunting bar.”

“Ah, that makes sense.”

For some reason, Chan-woo sighs as he takes his phone out.

“There are tons of messages from people I don’t know.”

I sneak a peek and there are 13 new friends. Each and every one of them is asking Chan-woo if he’s okay, if he got in well, if they’re meeting again today? I almost smashed my phone with these kinds of messages.

Han-kang and Ahn Hyeon-ho seem to be in a similar situation, frowning deeply as they all sneak a peek at their phones.

“……”

Only Pyo Jinho and I have silent phones.

“Ah, my damn contacts.”

“Putting on an act.”

I tried pretending as if I received a message from some unknown girl, but it didn’t work, so I decided to just keep my mouth shut.

“Where did we go next?”

As I try to recall and ask, out of nowhere.

“We went to karaoke.”

The bald man naturally included himself in the conversation and answered.

Our gazes instantly shifted to him. The man, who appeared to be in his mid-30s, was for some reason clinging right next to Chan-woo.

“Um… but who are you?”

I cautiously asked, and the man responded with a bright smile.

“The person you guys picked up at the hunting bar.”

“Ah, damn it!”

“Crazy bastards! What have you done!”

“Ah! Lord! Oh Looord what is this!!!”

Sighs floated up from all around. The uncle seemed embarrassed and lightly grabbed Chan-woo, but Chan-woo jumped back in surprise.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“Chan-woo said he can’t trust women anymore and asked me to come along.”

“Jeong Chan-woo, you crazy shithead! Get lost! Don’t ever come to my house again!”

“No! It’s not true! Ah, really, it’s not!”

Chan-woo suddenly stands up, denying it with tears welling up in his eyes. The uncle, worried he might be hurt, gives him a reassuring smile.

“It’s okay, a night’s dream isn’t too bad.”

He’s a bald uncle who’s been through everything.

Although I wanted to kick him out immediately, I manage to hold it in for now.

It seemed that the uncle remembered the most among all of us, after all.

“What did we do at the karaoke?”

When I asked cautiously, the uncle answered with a smile.

“We just sang military songs for an hour straight.”

Military songs?

I wondered who among us, having served in the military, would go to karaoke and sing military songs like that.

“Huh? What’s this?”

“What’s going on?”

Han-kang and Pyo Jinho screamed at the same time.

• Military Manpower Administration Notification.

  Mr. Han Kang, Mr. Pyo Jinho, regarding joint enlistment…

There was a text message from the Military Manpower Administration giving detailed information about joint enlistment.

“We’re enlisting together?!”

“Me? With him?”

“Congratulations.”

“You’ve become best friends overnight.”

Ahn Hyeon-ho and I even clapped our hands and congratulated them as is. It seems they drunkenly applied for joint enlistment with their phones last night and then sang military songs at the top of their lungs.

“What next?”

As Chan-woo, who had kept a distance from the uncle, cautiously asked, the uncle pointed to the large black and red envelopes in the corner.

“We went to an adult store.”

“Why did you go there?!”

As I yelled in annoyance, the uncle awkwardly answered.

“Well, you said you wanted to go.”

Me? I did?

“What’s the big deal about being dumped by a girl. You can solve everything by yourself anyway.”

“……”

“Buy whatever you want there. The soulmate you’re looking for might not be as far away as you think.”

“……”

“Sex is nothing special. Insert, shake, and release, that’s what sex is. So, if you buy an onahole, that’s sex.”

Suddenly, the resentful gazes of four people were directed at me.

“Cough.”

Awkwardly clearing my throat, I checked the payment details that had come through on my phone.

• Adult Store

  Kim * Jin

  773,500 won

“Fuck, what did you buy that cost seven hundred thousand won at an adult toy store! Crazy bastards!”

Dumbfounded, I stride over to check the items inside.

Four Tengas (adult toys company items), no less.

And condoms bought by the boxes.

From risqué underwear to vibrators for women and plugs that go into buttocks…

“What’s this, a bug?”

From a bizarre tool that looks exactly like a detached female genitalia, to a vibrating dildo that I can’t even think of why it was purchased.

A whole array of crazy items spilled out like sausages in a row.

“So that was bought from there.”

Han-kang mutters, pointing at the mannequin he had been hugging in his sleep. I glare at him, as if to say, ‘Good for you, that was such a great realization’.

“Take all the onaholes when you leave.”

Their supplies.

“Chan-woo, take the dildo and plug too.”

“No way!”

Anyway.

Hearing the story, it seems that we went to an adult store, then bought beer from a convenience store nearby and came to my house, where everyone just collapsed.

After hearing the entire explanation from the uncle, I asked cautiously.

“Sorry, but could you leave?”

“Ah, right. I have to go to work.”

The uncle cheerfully smiles as he gets up.

“Don’t worry. I didn’t do anything strange. I’m quite the gentleman myself.”

Saying so, he heads to the front door and gives us a wink.

“It was a fun night, friends. Let’s hang out again later.”

Thud.

“I feel like my butt hurts.”

“Because he’s bald, he doesn’t need to wash and can just leave like that.”

“What if there’s a senior like him in the military for you to handle?”

After the bald uncle left, we sighed and slumped down in our seats.

Last night.

Chan-woo became secret friends with the bald uncle.

Han-kang and Pyo Jinho ended up enlisting together.

I swiped 700,000 won at an adult store.

“Am I the only winner?”

A sly smile from Ahn Hyeon-ho.

He gleefully checks his phone, claiming he hasn’t made any mistakes.

“……”

Suddenly, his face turns pale, and I quickly rush over, ready to tease him.

• From: Choi Yiseo (73 calls)

“Holy.”

An insane record of calling Choi Yiseo 73 times was left on Ahn Hyeon-ho’s phone.

“Ah, ah, no! Just a moment!”

He desperately tries to call Choi Yiseo again.

• The number has been blocked by the recipient…

A de facto death sentence was pronounced on Ahn Hyeon-ho’s love life.

But it seems like Ahn Hyeon-ho wasn’t the only one who made calls and messed up.

“I-I also called Arin five times…”

Thanks to Ahn Hyeon-ho’s overwhelming call log, Jeong Chan-woo’s feels somewhat cute after five times.

“…I called seven times.”

Thanks to Pyo Jinho’s interjection, Miss Yu Arin received a total of twelve calls last night.

“Shit.”

I thought senior Han-kang did it to Seo Yerin, but it turns out he did it quite evenly to everyone.

Excluding Ahn Hyeon-ho, they all laughed together looking at the record of him calling each of his ex-girlfriends once.

“Ugh, idiots.”

I was relatively better off.

I did spend 700,000 won, but at least I didn’t tarnish my social honor, did I?

Choi Yiseo: 1 call.

Yu Arin: 1 call.

Seo Yerin: 1 call.

There were call logs, but on the contrary, they were incoming, not outgoing.

It was a bit unsettling that all three had called me.

“Let’s go get some hangover food!”

Just when I thought I was the ultimate winner and was about to put my phone away with a grin.

At the very bottom of last night’s call log, there was a name that shouldn’t be there.

• Oh Yoon-ji

  Outgoing call, 3 minutes 47 seconds.

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