Apocalypse Cockroach

Chapter 46: Generation Gap?

“How are you? Does it hurt? Are you ok?” Yang Ke’er helped Zhang Xiao Qiang up, allowing him to sit up.

“Hiss~~” He hissed in pain as Yang Ke’er’s action caused the pain all over him to ache. She quickly minimized her movement in order to relieve the pain.

“Do you know how bad guys in movies usually die?” He leaned on her as he looked at the bonfire in front of him.

“......”

She didn’t speak, remaining silent as her tears streaked down her face, dripping onto Zhang Xiao Qiang’s face.

“It’s because the bad guy usually talks too much!” He mumbled.

“Do you know why the female leads in movies are always so sad?”

He turned his face slowly to look at Yang Ke’er, tolerating the pain.

“It’s because those silly female leads always believe what the bad guys say!”

The back of his head was resting on Yang Ke’er’s quail-egg chest as he spoke, his expression wooden.

“Did you think that once you satisfy that pervert, he will really let us go?”

As he spoke up to here, his tone became less steely.

“I couldn’t bear to watch you being beaten up ah! I was worried about you!”

Her voice became smaller as she spoke, her words revealed a sour grievance.

“................”

Zhang Xiao Qiang became speechless and felt that it was really hard to communicate.

This Xie Yuan Shan was such a deranged maniac, what else would he not do? He even raped and killed his rescuer, would he just change or give up just because of a half-cripple and an adolescent?

Thinking up to this point, Zhang Xiao Qiang dared not continue his thoughts. A layer of cold sweat broke out behind his neck. “We were too careless.” He quietly assessed. Watching the flickering fire in front of him, he started questioning himself, when was it that he allowed himself to be this careless? Was it the peaceful fortnight in the cave that whittled his sense of caution? Or was it because Yang Ke’er had become so strong that he had subconsciously thought that she could handle everything? Or was it the fact that he had sewn in a layer of mutant beast-hide inside his clothes.

When they were suddenly attacked by those mutant weasels, he had not been on guard, nor thought to check carefully, nor was there a sense of danger. At that point, he didn’t even have the time to grab a weapon, if it wasn’t for Yang Ke’er, his throat might have been ripped already.

The funny thing was that he had truly become conceited after a few close brushes with death. He had been the one to cross the territory of the mutant weasels, that was why they were attacked. Why didn’t they think to use the binoculars to check it properly first? Had he really thought that once he had the inner armor he had become invincible?

Even funnier was that after that injury, he still kept his guard down. The world was still dangerous, Xie Yuan Shan could not be trusted, yet he still carelessly got Yang Ke’er to stand guard. She was boisterous and still young, yet he had been the one to sleep like a log.

Thinking back to when he first left house, he had been extremely cautious every step of the way. Every single blade of grass that was blown would arouse his suspicion. How did he become so careless?

As he assessed himself, the more he felt gripped with tension. The rules and society norms before the apocalypse had already broken like glass. People were capable of all sorts of things now due to the virus and breakdown in society.

He remembered reading something called the Freudian Psychoanalytic Theory of Personality*, where it talked about three fundamental structures of the human mind: The id, the ego, and the superego.

The id was concerned with the instant gratification of basic physical needs and urges, it only cared about exerting of self, regardless of principle.

The ego was the rational, pragmatic part of personality. It is less primitive than the id and is partly conscious and partly unconscious. It mediates between the ego and super-ego, and it sought to balance satisfying the id, and avoiding conflicts through the superego. One would gain gratification, even it was delayed, but making the moral decision and according to societal norms.

As for the superego, it was the saint part of everybody. Those people who wanted to continue to be moral even in the face of death in movies were considered to have a stronger superego.

People from before the apocalypse knew to abide by rules and laws, maintaining order in society. However, in the apocalyptic setting now, everyone is just concerned with their own survival, and there was a disregard for the law, and order. Before the apocalypse, it was the ego that ruled. Now, it was the id that ruled.

“I can’t be like that anymore! I’m not a savior, and I should stop thinking of being the good guy!” He came to terms with his thoughts and now wondered if he should just become a bad person entirely.

“Ah~~~~Oh~~~~”

Xie Yuan Shan was like a dead dog, lying at a distance, moaning and groaning from time to time. His limbs had been smashed thoroughly by Yang Ke’er. His body was twisted in all sorts of angles, and it was hard to tell which direction he was actually facing. For example, if his face was towards the ceiling, his feet should be pointed the same way. However, it was his heel that was pointing to the sky.

His pants were drenched, and there was a strong stench of urine. He must have relieved himself uncontrollably after being taken care of by Yang Ke’er.

She could smell the sour piss smell from him and frowned as she placed Zhang Xiao Qiang down gently. She then walked over to Xie Yuan Shan’s side and grabbed him by the clothes before tossing him a distance away. He flew across the warehouse and disappeared into an unlit corner.

“Putong” The sound of something heavy landing sounded.

“AHHH~~~~!!!” His tragic scream of agony sounded out.

Yang Ke’er then walked back to Zhang Xiao Qiang’s side and hugged him in her embrace, as gently as she could. It was a huge difference from her usual self.

Zhang Xiao Qiang laid against her and received her warmth while hearing the occasional moans of pain in the background.

Zhang Xiao Qiang made the decision then, he won’t be a nice guy nor a bad guy. The good guys get taken advantage of, while bad guys usually faced a worse ending.

“How did he get the sniper crossbow?” He suddenly piped up, breaking the silence.

“It must be, must be, when I was doing my small business!” She lowered her head as she spoke, after which her chin almost touched her chest.

“Why didn’t you call me up when you wanted to go to the toilet?” He continued to ask with a mild expression as he watched the fire.

“Because you were sleeping so soundly, and I didn’t want to disturb you...” She found her reason and lifted her head again.

“Ai~~~~” He let out a long sigh. No matter what, she had good intentions, although it had made things worse.

“Do you know what to do in the future?” He felt like he was teaching a wilful daughter.

“En! I know la! Next time, I will report everything to you!”

Yang Ke’er’s expression was extremely docile now, like those little kids from kindergarten that promised their aunts not to be naughty anymore.

“Oh yes! What do we do with that Xie-guy? Shall I kill him?”

Yang Ke’er thought of Xie Yuan Shan still lying a distance away and asked Zhang Xiao Qiang for his opinion.

“Forget it, killing him would just dirty your hands, wait till tomorrow! We’ll feed him to the zombies!”

An otaku does not know the meaning of “repay evil with good”.

“You want to kill him, don’t you feel scared? Don’t you feel like vomiting at the thought of ending someone else’s life?” Zhang Xiao Qiang asked her curiously. How was it that the guts of the girls nowadays were so daring?

“Not really! After killing the first monster, it felt pretty good, in fact, it felt better than play games at home!”

Yang Ke’er seemed to unfazed by the question, in fact, she looked at him like he was silly.

“Maybe, after playing so many games, they’ve become numb to killing?”

Zhang Xiao Qiang grew up under the Red Guards and had no idea how to handle the younger generation.

“Shit! Last time, there was a gap between my dad and me, now there’s a gap between this lass and myself?!”

He finally felt that he wasn’t that young anymore.

*Source: Boundless. “Freudian Psychoanalytic Theory of Personality.” Boundless Psychology Boundless, 17 Aug. 2016. Retrieved 26 Jan. 2017 from https://www.boundless.com/psychology/textbooks/boundless-psychology-textbook/personality-16/psychodynamic-perspectives-on-personality-77/freudian-psychoanalytic-theory-of-personality-304-12839/

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