Chapter 130 - Moments Of Truth And Lies - I
BG Music recommendation: Another day in Paradise - Acoustic by Victor Sommers
---------------
Channing was deliberately slow to turn around, and he pulled his breath, watching me stand close to him. My eyes lowered as soon as I saw him look at me. It was heart-clenching to look into his eyes when I knew he was hurting.
Channing did not speak for some time before his voice came low, "Okay, do you want to me come with you now?" I raised my eyes to look into his grey eyes and I saw how he was still being considerate about the way I felt heavy about it. Channing smiled his usual friendly smile, and I wondered how he managed to do that when he carried all the hurt in his heart. His eyes brows raised, questioningly.
I shook my head, "Come with me now."
Channing had a smile on his face as he replied, "Okay." He turned around to start walking and I couldn't lift my foot from where it was. It was now that I realised how much I myself had unsolved feelings in my heart about Channing. "Coming?" Channing asked, breaking me out of my daze.
I nodded and walked with him. Throughout the way, I walked a step behind Channing and saw him walk calmly ahead while here, my heart twisted with thoughts.
There were feelings in my heart where I wanted to try how it would go ahead with Channing, and there were parts that told me it would never end up well. With Channing, it was not the physical attraction or liking that started it all for me. He had been the first person who had fulfilled my trust and showed me the world was a beautiful place once again. The time I had seen it that way was when I was a ten-year-old.
We reached my now renovated house, and I hoped I would get used to it sooner, but every time I came here, it reminded me of Fang. I just wanted to shift sooner into my condo now that Fang had renovated this.
I opened the door lock for Channing to enter first and closed the door behind me.
"You did a great job with the renovation here," remarked Channing, "looks expensive."
If it was some other time, I would have reminded Channing of how he was supposed to renovate everything here and should now make up to me in some other way. But that thought just made me want to tell the truth more to Channing. "Fang did everything," I spoke, looking everywhere before I met Channing's eyes.
Channing stared at me as if waiting for me to continue, but I couldn't. I was the one who had brought him here to ask questions and clears things and I was the one with a sealed mouth.
"Is he the who marked you?" My eyes went wide at his question. This sudden straightforwardness from Channing was unusual.
Channing wore a passive expression, and yet I saw the heartbreak he was holding inside him. It was always better to tell the bitter truth than to wrap things in pretty lies just for them to fall apart later. For me, if I would have gone ahead with Channing's desires that day, then that would have been a beautiful fleeting lie in my life because my truth was a very harsh one. I was promised in a political marriage to a vampire and now I was even marked by my soulmate, who was possessive about things that belonged to him.
Distrust weighed heavily with Fang while with Channing it was like he was the only person I would trust to stand by my side in the outside world. But Fang wanted me. For his revenge, or just because I was his soulmate, but that was not I was going to be his.
"Yes," I answered Channing. This was a truth I had to tell him, "unfortunately Fang is my soulmate."
It truly was unfortunate that Fang was my soulmate. It would have been even if I had got the weak Omega as one I wouldn't have minded. Best I would have had no soulmate like rumoured about us Warchilds that we were cursed to not have soulmates. Fang and I had one, and from what Arina had said, I had to confirm from Channing whether he had one too. I wondered who the other two Warchilds were and did they have a soulmate as well, like the common populace.
My eyes took in Channing's every expression and body language at this moment. Even if Suzan was like a best friend to me in such a short time but Channing was the only person who knew my secrets here.
I couldn't tell things to Suzan directly even if I wanted to. She was my comfort person, and I always wondered was I the same for her.
But with Channing, it was a different bond, something where the hearts did the talking. Channing could have been only my guilty pleasure, where in the end his heart broke because I knew my parents won't take it well. But irrespective of the what-ifs, Channing held heavy feelings for me and I had to specifically ask him to push them down. I think with Channings Blood Noesis it would be tough for him, but it was better today than tomorrow.
"Channing, I have so many things in my life I can't tell you," I finally spoke the main topic we were here to talk about. My voice was low and my eyes took in Channing's face that showed how he hated what was coming. "There are very thin chances that whatever we ever try having between us will work in the future," I said.
I was waiting for his answer, anything that would tell me he was on the same page as me.
Somehow Channing was finding it easy today to not beat around the bush while I was having a tough time talking about everything. The topic was hard for me, but more than that I knew exactly how hard it was for Channing because he carried far more feelings for me in his heart than what mere I had in mine.
THIS CHAPTER UPLOAD FIRST AT NOVELBIN.COM