Chapter 46
However, she didn't even care about his hatred.
Gu Wan discovered that after his previous mood swings, Lu Yu's attitude towards her had changed again recently. At first, Gu Wan was even startled by his sudden coldness, thinking that he must have finally come to his senses. After all, passion is a consumable thing - no matter how much passion there is, it will eventually be used up one day.
Gu Wan was already very satisfied that it had lasted this long.
Although there was some regret and reluctance, it was... not unacceptable.
So, in just a few short days, Gu Wan quickly withdrew her own invested tenderness, as if nothing had ever happened.
The previous sweetness and affection were like a fleeting epiphemeral flower.
However, from time to time, Gu Wan could see Lu Yu's increasingly dark gaze when he looked at her inadvertently.
For a moment, Gu Wan even felt that he hated her.
But so what?
When Gu Wan first noticed this, she was indeed a little nervous, afraid that he would recklessly take revenge on her. But thinking carefully, Lu Yu came from a wealthy and powerful family, so he certainly wouldn't jeopardize himself over such a small matter. Gu Wan no longer felt there was anything to worry about.
As for Lu Yu's love and hate, that was his own business. He could love if he wanted to love, hate if he wanted to hate. She didn't guide him, she didn't force him, so what did it have to do with her?
Hearing her say this, Xia Qianqian couldn't help but exclaim: "Wow, why do I suddenly feel a bit sorry for that guy of yours?"
Although she verbally condemned Gu Wan, Xia Qianqian didn't actually think Gu Wan was going too far.
While Gu Wan's attitude could indeed drive a person crazy, Xia Qianqian had never been someone who saw things in black and white.
As long as her best friend felt happy and content, that was enough.
After all, she hadn't committed murder or arson, she hadn't even broken the law. There were so many terrible people in the world, Gu Wan's behavior didn't even rank among them. Why should she hold her to such high standards? Moreover, Gu Wan hadn't even used this affection to deliberately harm him - that was already extremely upright!
Even Gu Wan felt a bit embarrassed by Xia Qianqian's blatant favoritism.
So how heartless can a person be when they don't love another?
Probably just like her, able to be completely indifferent.
Indifferent to whether he's happy or not, indifferent to his love, indifferent to his hate, indifferent to whether she's in his future, indifferent to how well he lives after leaving her, indifferent to whether he marries or has children.
Even when Lu Yu was at his coldest towards her before she lost her memory, he had never been like this.
But who said Gu Wan couldn't be worse than Lu Yu?
She was truly awful, so awful that Lu Yu wanted to devour her flesh and drink her blood, so awful that Lu Yu wanted to tear apart her bones to see if she even had a heart.
Lu Yu had no doubt about the truth of her every word, and no doubt that after they divorced, she could really do everything she said.
It was never a threat; her mouth was just speaking the truth.
Once the remaining shackles were opened, she really would never come back.
At that time, he would just be an ex-husband. She didn't care about things during their marriage, let alone after divorce. Gu Wan had only lost interest in romance and love, not in the bodies of other men. Just thinking about her leaning into another man's arms, or another man leaning into hers, in any corner of the world he didn't know about, made Lu Yu hate so much he wanted to kill.
But what he couldn't accept most was that Gu Wan would completely cut off contact with him, just like she had done with He Minglun.
Just thinking about it, Lu Yu's chest couldn't help but be filled with panic.
"You're not allowed to leave me!"
Hearing him say this, Gu Wan couldn't help but frown.
Seeing his eyes constantly changing, warm one moment and cold the next, warm enough to want to melt her into his own body, cold enough to be full of hatred, like a madman.
To be honest, Gu Wan didn't like him like this. It cast a shadow over his entire face, making him suddenly not so good-looking, really not interesting at all.
But Gu Wan wasn't someone who liked to criticize others, so she just tried her best to ignore this change in him.
Perhaps sensing something from her increasingly cold attitude, a few days later Lu Yu finally returned to normal.
At least on the surface, he seemed normal.
Gu Wan didn't care whether this normality was real or just an act, as long as she felt comfortable.
Gu Wan's attitude softened considerably.
Lu Yu, however, felt he was probably really going crazy.
Soon after, Lu Yu suddenly became superstitious. Originally, Gu Wan didn't want to indulge his nonsense, but Lu Yu refused to give up no matter what. After a long time, Gu Wan just went along with it.
Fine, fine, let's just consider it a trip.
The Daoist priest Lu Yu found was quite famous in this circle. Fortunately, although the priest lived on a mountain, that mountain was now a tourist area, equipped with cable cars and elevators, and even had roads built. Otherwise, Gu Wan feared she would have had to climb for two or three hours to reach the place.
The area was full of green mountains and clear waters, almost untouched by pollution, surrounded by mist, like a fairyland.
Gradually, the slight dissatisfaction in Gu Wan's heart also dissipated.
The car slowly stopped in front of the Daoist temple. After Gu Wan stepped inside, she could see the undisguised devotion on the faces of the people around.
Incense smoke filled the air, and everyone's eyes and hearts were filled with desire and supplication.
Gu Wan felt this scene was strangely familiar, as if she had seen it somewhere before, as if she had done the same thing in the past - trying her best but unable to get what she wanted, so she could only pin her hopes on intangible deities.
Although Gu Wan could no longer remember exactly what had happened, she seemed to faintly feel that sense of despair.
Such intense emotions didn't move her, but rather made her feel a pang of heart palpitations. So when countless images began to flash through her mind, she subconsciously suppressed them with all her might.
Don't remember, don't remember, absolutely do not remember!
Gu Wan screamed silently in her heart, showing an unprecedented loss of composure.
As if sensing something, the emotions that had been surging finally subsided reluctantly.
Gu Wan had just breathed a sigh of relief when she looked up and saw the Daoist priest standing there, who had appeared at some point.
The priest was only in his forties or fifties, not like the ethereal, white-robed figures in TV dramas. In fact, if it weren't for his Daoist robe and long hair tied up, Gu Wan would have thought he was just an ordinary middle-aged man.
At this moment, he was looking at them, and the anxiety in Gu Wan's heart gradually faded.
She was a bit worried, but still took the initiative to step forward.
The three of them sat by a table, with lush ancient trees overhead. As Lu Yu handed over the paper with their birth dates and times written on it, Gu Wan hadn't even had time to take a sip of the clear tea beside her when she heard the Daoist priest say, "There are a few jasmine flowers blooming nicely in the back garden. If the benefactor is interested, you can go take a look."
June and July are the peak seasons for jasmine blooms. When Gu Wan first came in, she had smelled a faint fragrance and wondered what it was. So it was jasmine in bloom.
To be honest, Gu Wan had never seen what a jasmine tree looked like in her whole life.
What Gu Wan didn't know was that after she left, the Daoist priest suddenly sighed, then put down the paper with their birth dates and times.
Actually, when the man before him first contacted him, he had already looked into their situation in advance. But the results were not good, and since the man before him was unwilling to accept such results, he suggested the two come in person, saying there might still be a chance for change.
Besides birth dates and times, a person's appearance and personality also have more or less influence.
But now the Daoist priest felt there was no need for that anymore.
Any flower or blade of grass could attract her attention, showing she no longer cared what he was about to say or what the results would be.
She had completely lost interest in any future with this Mr. Lu before her.
Love or lack thereof cannot be hidden.
"Fate and destiny - first there must be fate, then there must be destiny. Neither can be missing; without either, nothing can come to fruition. Fate is determined by heaven, destiny by people. The conditions are strict, which is why it's so precious."
In his view, the two of them had a deep connection and should have been a perfect match, meant to love each other until old age. Unfortunately, they encountered sudden changes, and from that moment on, the trajectory of their fate began to move in a different direction.
As he spoke, the Daoist Priest's gaze gradually became complex: "Things are in human hands. If humans don't act, even heaven can do nothing."
In other words, the reason Gu Wan couldn't remember for so long wasn't because of physical reasons, but because deep down, she didn't want to remember.
Lu Yu's face turned pale in an instant.
In the end, the Daoist Priest only said, "Even I am powerless in such matters."
"Benefactor, please go back."
On the other side.
Gu Wan, who had walked out of the courtyard, soon found the two jasmine trees. The jasmines were in full bloom, their fragrance strong but not overpowering.
It was a pity she could only look but not pick. After Gu Wan had admired them enough, she originally intended to go back, but when she reached the courtyard gate, she really didn't want to go in. So in the end, Gu Wan hesitated for a few seconds, then turned and headed towards the main hall.
Although she wasn't very interested in the development of their future relationship, since she was here and had heard that this place had quite an efficacious spiritual presence, and she currently had nothing else to do, Gu Wan thought about whether she should also offer some incense.
However, when Gu Wan actually came to the main hall, the thoughts that had flashed through her mind gradually dispersed.
Her own body was very healthy, Qianqian's family was harmonious, her work was also good, and as for Beibei, although gradually getting old, this was also inevitable.
She seemed to... have nothing more to ask for.
Lu Yu came over when Gu Wan was sitting under the towering ancient tree, lost in thought.
Seeing that Gu Wan indeed didn't ask what the two of them had just talked about, Lu Yu's eyes darkened, followed by a bitter smile.
He should be used to it by now, shouldn't he?
So when Gu Wan asked "Shall we go?", he just nodded.
Now, Lu Yu had truly given up hope.
Just as they were about to walk out of the main hall, Gu Wan finally couldn't resist and looked back.
The deity's statue sat high on the platform, looking down on all living beings, with what seemed like compassion in its eyes.
Gu Wan suddenly felt that after returning to City A, she should go back to that temple to take a look and offer some incense.
The car slowly drove along the mountain road, with rocks and trees on both sides continuously flashing past Lu Yu's vacant eyes. After a moment, he turned his head to look at Gu Wan beside him, and the words the Daoist Priest had said earlier inadvertently floated into his mind again.
He had asked if there was any possibility of her remembering again.
The other replied that she might, or might not, it all depended on Gu Wan's will.
"It's alright, I will wait..."
A few days later, staring dazedly at the airplane taking off once again, Lu Yu found that he had unconsciously muttered these words.
Looking at the tablet in his hand again, he realized it was filled with Gu Wan's name, written without him noticing.
Lu Yu closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, he had regained his composure. Then the driver followed and drove away.
Gu Wan likewise withdrew her gaze from the window, pulled down the shade, then lay down and fell asleep.
The End.
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