Absolutely Do Not Touch Eldmia Egga

Chapter 20: Lagnis Lien da Levien

“What is going on here!”

The city patrol appearing was ten or so minutes after all of the situation had been wrapped up.

Seeing how they weren’t with the guards but had appeared together in a group of six at once, it seemed there was something like a planned timing. Looking at their expressions, I could tell they were panicking rather a bit at the unexpected outcome.

Well yeah, that was understandable considering that they saw the eight adventurers tied together like sausage links instead of me, who ordinarily should be dead or lying on the ground from getting lynched. After having cleaned up the surroundings with Alisha and the kids’ help, I had told them to all go inside for now and was sitting outside together with the bastard guys.

Interrogating them was already finished. Abnam and the rest of the guys couldn’t even dare think of lying, after all. Really thankfully, the story they coughed up wasn’t very far from what Lagnis and I had speculated.

Incapacitate me, kidnap Lagnis, and then go outside the city with the help of the city patrol. After that, their work was finished once they went to the rendezvous location in a nearby forest. It wasn’t clear yet if there was a drake or they planned to ride horses, but that was something I could check later with my own eyes.

Since they said their employer went ahead first to the rendezvous point after only leaving behind a pressuring attitude saying not to make a mistake since it was a very time-sensitive issue, it definitely felt like there wouldn’t be any separate agent keeping watch. So long as I just clean up here properly, there shouldn’t be any issue even if I left Lagnis in the inn.

The good thing was that there wasn’t a single patrol here whose face I knew. I would’ve been really infuriated if there was a son of a bitch like that among my acquaintances, after all.

“W, we got a report of violence. Looks like there isn’t anything to ask. Disarm yourself and surrender. Arrest him away immedi…”

“Oh bullshit. What fucking patrol sons of bitches do arresting? Hurry and go get the guards if you got time to bullshit.”

“Wha, what?!”

Arresting criminals wasn’t the duty of the patrols. The guards were soldiers, but patrols were merely local vigilants that received pay and worked with equipment provided by the guards. The only thing they could do was do the first response if an event occurred and send notice to the guards so that people like the 5-minute standby squad could be dispatched. 

Just the talk of arresting me was merely a bullshit in the first place to cover up the situation in any way. Because of that, I could boldly threaten them.

“It’ll be better for you to hurry before I get to you and tie all of you up right here.”

“Do you dare ignore the patrol’s order and resist arrest right now?”

When the guy furthest out front spoke, the rest of the bastards pulled out their swords. It was understandable. They got some armor on, and their swords were shiny too, so they must be feeling really confident. They also wouldn’t want them accepting bribes to get known, too.

But so long as the things they held weren’t spears, which were illegal to use within the city, there wasn’t any threat.

Spears just by themselves were a symbol of the law. The kingdom wasn’t forbidding everyone but regular soldiers from holding spears for no reason. If the guards came holding spears, then I couldn’t resist even if I had proof that they accepted bribes. Doing that would become an act that completely turned the city against us.

But swords were something you could buy as easily as you wished so long as you paid. It was the most common weapon adventurers lying all over the land were carrying, after all. Basic armors too, you could find as many as you’d want if you searched armor shops.

That was the difference between the patrols and the guards. The way for those bastards to prove their status was, in fact, only the patrol badge provided by the city.

A single patrol badge, that anyone could counterfeit if wished.

“You dare pull out swords even when I made a legally flawless statement just now? You sons of bitches, are you fakes posing as patrols and not the actual patrols? You’re bullshitting to untie these bastards, right?”

“Stop with the nonsense! Do you not see this patrol ba…”

“Even the dogs and cows out in the fields can counterfeit something flimsy like that. You guys not doing the work you’re supposed to do is clear evidence, so what does that sort of thing matter?”

The bastards that had been blatantly confident slightly faltered. They should be feeling that something was up since the swaggering they’d done with the name of patrol until now didn’t stick, but honestly it’d become tiresome for me if they didn’t fight me. After all, my goal was to tie all of them up, too, and then catch the source of these events at the rendezvous point. Why would I leave them alone while not knowing what these sons of bitches that ate bribes would do?

And so, I didn’t pull out my sword. I shook my hand as if exhausted while intentionally acting tired. Because I’d have to at least pretend like I’d got all spent while catching the eight adventurers for the bastards to get overly confident they could take me down and commit an overreach of their authority.

“Words aren’t getting through him! We’ll take you down with force now that you’ve resisted arrest!”

Like that, the bastards wrapped themselves with confidence and took a step forward.

“Fucking well caught, sons of bitches.”

“What?”

I instantly ran up with magic power wrapped around my body and planted a fist into a face. They were absolutely flimsy bastards, so there wasn’t even a need to raise up the magic power’s output very much.

There were many reasons why the patrol didn’t have the authority to arrest, but one of the biggest reasons was that they didn’t have the ability to in most situations. The armor and swords they wore were more a decoration for making threats.

These guys were just civilians who were a bit strong. Since resisting the city authority itself was a stupid plan, the citizens meekly followed even if the city merely dressed up one’s outer appearances. Because of that, it gave patrol badges to simple civilians with extra strength and nothing to do, and merely used them as patrol squads for a cheap cost.

That’s why they were this careless.

“You fraudster sons of bitches who don’t even know the law! I’ll knit all of you together and hand you to the guards!”

“Aaaghh!!”

Even the swords they swung wavered and were so slow that it wasn’t dangerous in any way. Even the adventurer bastards would be elite soldiers when compared to these guys.

Like that, I put the bastards whose jaws might have shattered behind me and shouted.

“Alisha! Levi! Help me tie up these sons of bitches with the kids. Jinn! You go and report to the guards for us.”

Once I cleaned up the situation like that, the kids came out of the inn and moved along my directions. Jinn, even as he looked at the patrols with a serious face, asked me once more.

“Would this be okay, big bro? They’re still the patrols, aren’t they?’

“There’s more than enough reason for it. Just how dare the patrol try to arrest a citizen? If we tell the guards, they’ll instead take away their patrol badges.”

“Hmn… even so, it’s a bit…”

“It’s fine. Since either way I’m going to go catch the bastard that gave bribes to these guys right now. It’ll get resolved fine if we just make sure they don’t die.”

Jinn, who had calmly grasped the situation unlike the other kids and was helping me, raced to the guards right at my answer. Really, what did that guy do before this?

“Eldmia. Just what is going on here?”

Alisha asked with an absolutely serious face unlike the usual, but however I saw it, it seemed like leaving it to Lagnis’s judgment was the right choice here.

“Levi will explain it to you. I still have to clean up things, so I’ll be back in a bit.”

Alisha didn’t particularly stop me and ask or anything similar. Thinking that it was because she had understood well enough what else needed cleaning in a situation like this since she was once an adventurer like she had said, I raced towards the place I heard from the bastards. Needing to pass through the city gate at a late hour was the biggest issue that dragged on my mind, but there wasn’t even a need to worry once I actually got there.

“Hm? Halt! Who… what the. Eldmia? What are you doing here at this hour?”

“Big bro Alec?”

Shockingly, the ones guarding the gate were Alec and a guard I’d seen for the first time. I didn’t know about the unfamiliar face, but I know exactly the way to go through Alec.

“I was worried about how to explain this, but this is a relief. So some fucking garbage of bitches were trying to kidnap the girls at Aunt Alisha’s inn, and I just crippled all of them just now, right?”

“W, what?! W, what about Remiri?! And are the other people fine?!”

Wow, this actually got solved like this.

🔷

Obviously the bastards’ target was only Lagnis, but who cared?

In front of the danger of the girl he was interested in, Alec ferociously raged and permitted my exit with a very generous manner.

“Just go and kill them halfway to hell!”

Putting the passionate cheering behind me, I quietly headed into the forest. Finding the path in the forest where the night was settling just now wasn’t something easy, but that was the same for the bastards, too.

“From the mouth of the forest facing the city gate, about three steps inside… underneath… so it’s this. Luminous spores.”

It wasn’t difficult to find the clue left by rubbing on luminous spores. The spores, which normally would lose their light less than an hour after getting dug up from the ground, were clearly glowing as if they had gone through magical processing. Following along the signs that helpfully showed the next location with arrow symbols, soon a rather artificial camping ground and lights came into my eyes.

Abruptly an unease spiked up.

Was this a camping ground originally in the forest? Or was it artificially made?

Both didn’t look good. If they prepared detailedly enough to finish preliminary investigation of the nearby terrain, didn’t that mean they’d already been aware of Lagnis since a long time ago?

But then they’d moved this sloppily and hurriedly this late? When I continued moving my steps while organizing my tangling thoughts, an unfamiliar voice was heard from inside the quiet forest.

“…ow do you think it’ll go?”

When I forcibly suppressed my unease and continued closing the distance, the words they were busily chattering slowly entered my ears.

“…what he said, he wasn’t as easy a brat as we thought. Sir Delt said his strength seemed to be about that of an apprentice knight.”

“If that’s true, then those morons should all get sliced up.”

“That’s expected of all the so-called adventurers hired with petty coins. By now, wouldn’t they probably be tattling our location?”

It felt like blood was disappearing from the fingertips. At the same time, my instinct rang a warning that I didn’t even have a second to think. I’d thought I was reading a step ahead, but they were talking right now while even predicting my coming to them.

It was a trap. There was a guy smarter than me above my head.

I wrapped magic power around all of my body, then kicked the ground and rocketed out with full strength. At the sound created while brushing past the grass, the bastards’ gazes swarmed towards me.

“What the, animal agai…”

“Fuck! It’s him!”

“Already?!”

One specialized drake-transport carriage. And a drake on top of it. One guy turning his body as if to run towards that drake. Three around a campfire moving to pull their swords while widely opening their two eyes towards me. One still showing his back and hadn’t quite turned his head all the way. Up to that point wasn’t a sight that largely deviated from my predictions.

But the words of their conversation proved that I was wrong.

The bastards read a step ahead of Lagnis and me. They’d assumed the adventurer bastards would fail, and that I’d come all the way here. Based on that attitude, their goal should’ve been to either kill or neutralize me when I came like that.

That meant, in short, someone was continuously aiming for Lagnis who was defenseless at the inn right now.

Ignoring even the cold sweat flowing, I pulled out my sword and leaped into the nearest bastard’s back. The maximum output magic power layered over my tightly stressed muscles and the tip of my sword instantly pierced through the bastard’s heart at a speed incomparable to the usual speed.

Everything could reverse and fail. I was sorry to Asileye, but I couldn’t help but fail to avoid murder due to my inexperience and incompetence.

“That bastard’s an aura user!!”

“Fuck, he came too quickly!”

The guy running towards the drake must definitely be the pilot. If that guy untied the drake and climbed aboard, I couldn’t chase him.

Even the second to pull out my sword was too invaluable, so I directly charged with the pierced corpse and then twisted my sword and took out the sword by cutting outward from the body to the side.

Three guys’ swords almost pulled out. And the one guy a distance apart from the two that were slightly near each other entered my sight. What should I do?

My body pushed and threw the corpse towards that one bastard first before my thought and directly leaped up towards the two.

“Fuck…!”

Holding the pommel tightly instead of the longsword’s handle to cut even a little further out, I extended my body as if casting a fishing pole and attempted a slash. For just that moment, my sword I’d swung with full strength to slash the two’s necks together flashed like lightning.

“Uaaahh!!”

The scream rang from behind me. Without even a moment to admire the two heads falling off at the horizontal cut that was more a trick than technique, I corrected my stance and stabbed the guy struggling at the corpse I threw together with the corpse itself. I wondered if my big toes’ nails would get ripped out from forcibly correcting my balance, but it had the effect.

“Gheugh…!”

It was a thrust done with all my body, and I directly fell together with the bastards.

But because I was certain I’d at the least neutralized them, I directly rolled up and then shouted as I threw my sword towards the one bastard that now had nearly arrived at the drake.

“Fucking get your hands off unless you wanna get killed!”

– Puuck!

When the sword that actually flew like a throwing spear stuck into the carriage holding the drake, the surprised drake flailed around. When the drake pilot got hit on the chest by its tail in that process and rolled over and over towards my side, I couldn’t help but sincerely exhale a sigh of relief.

“Huuhh! Cough! Cough!”

Having unhesitantly walked to my thrown longsword and controlled my face while pulling it back out to laboriously hide that relief, I stepped on the drake pilot’s chest who was still fallen and struggling in pain. As much as my goal was to merely press with my weight to immobilize him, it shouldn’t hurt very much.

“Talk what’s going on right now or else you won’t ever…”

“I, I’ll talk! So please, just not my life!”

I didn’t know if there would come a day I would like having my words cut off. But of all things, today became that day.

“It’s nice that you’re quick with your judgment. Untie the drake right now.”

“Eh?”

“I might’ve gotten fucking fooled until now, but I can guess the rest ’cause I got a head, you know? Unless you’re gonna bravely sacrifice your life for the diversion plan that bastard called Delt came up with, hurry and get ready to fly ’cause I’ll listen to your explanation on the way. Don’t even think about doing anything else. Because even if I can’t kill you since you have to pilot the drake, I can erase your fingers one by one.”

“I, I’ll do it right now.”

   My plan failed, too. I’d spoken big and swore to Asileye, but even ended up murdering people. And if my prediction was correct, by now Lagnis was actively being kidnapped by a mysterious someone.

Laboriously pushing down my boiling up anxiety, there was only one thought that came up in my head once I maintained my calm and climbed aboard the drake following the drake pilot.

Tonight felt like it’d be a really shitty night.

TL note: Thank you very much for your patience. And the eta for the next chapter (Ch.21) is 10/02~10/03.

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