Absolutely Do Not Touch Eldmia Egga

Chapter 2: Eldmia Egga

   “Fuck fuck what do we do? What do we do?”

   Three of them remained. The ones behind me seemed already dead, and although the one that just now had his neck cut was flamboyantly spasming, seeing as the alive ones didn’t seem to have any thought about helping him, he’d probably die soon.

   I pretended to rub my eyes with my bloodied hands and took a look at them.

   Even though the things turned into “this”, they were neither running nor trying to rush and kill me. It was a clear proof that the thing called a devil sword had that much of a substantial value and that their skills were lacking.

   I had no plan of letting them live. Fucking shit, you dared come to loot here, where there already was nothing left? Already in my eyes those things weren’t humans but sons of bitches less than animals.

   “Fucking shut up alr…!”

   As I loudly cried from the side and one guy was about to lose it from the chaos and shout, a guy at his side quickly stopped him.

   “You fucking maniac! Don’t agitate him! Hey, hey! Kid. C, could you please put down that sword?”

   The sight of the filthy-looking bastard forcibly smiling even while he gushed cold sweat was simply revolting. Yeah. Was about time they would think up the thought that it’d be fine if I put it down since shit happened from me holding it.

   “Hick… hick… i, it’s not coming off.”

   Now, for just this moment I was a pantomime in whole. Showing off a round of method acting to make it seem as if the sword wasn’t coming off even when I used all my strength, I then loudly wailed again.

   “Huwuuung moooom.”

   Mom! Dad! Please take a look from there at your son curb stomping those sons of bitches into the contorted hell! Your son would show you he could live on strongly in this harsh world!

   There was still enough magic power. My body too was manageable due to having shoved in the magic power while expecting my joints to lacerate. I kept sobbing and tearing and walked towards the grave where I had rested my parents.

   The sword I held was the sword my mom held. And dad too was holding an identical looking sword. If the bastards were eyeing the devil sword, then their eyes would flip the instant they saw it.

   “Hey! Where you going!”

   “Huwuung!”

   You should follow if you’re curious. As I thought, they, even while hesitating, in the end dragged along the slave and hesitantly walked up to see what I was doing.

   “Fucking hell this is nu… eh?!”

   With a Papack! sound, I heard one of them sprint out. When I quickly turned my head, his eyes were already turned to the longsword in dad’s hands, so I directly thrusted the sword towards his heart.

   – Puuhk!

   “Ggeueueu…!”

   I nearly lost the sword from my hand at the resistance that differed from that of slashing, but I gritted my teeth and held on. I could feel all of my blisters popping, but it was better than dying. When I forcibly held back the body leaning towards me, with a plop sound it bent its knees and the bandit’s breath stopped.

   In that second I pulled out and hid in my chest the dagger in his belt and then loudly wailed.

   “Maaaark!”

   “Huwaaang!”

   The other two panicked and flailed again without grasping the situation… but the leashed woman was calm as if she was on a different planet.

   Looked like she noticed.

   “Hueh, huuh, eh?”

   Pretending to panic. Pretending to be confused, I let both my hands off the sword. At that sight, both their eyes opened wide.

   “Heuuuh daaad!”

   There were two swords either way. And in my chest there also was a dagger. I directly went to my dad’s corpse and gripped the sword while pretending to kneel down.

   “Oi fuck pick that up quickly!”

   When I actually distanced myself from the sword, both of them simultaneously ran up and crouched at the corpse of the guy called Mark.

   Were they idiots? A tiny kid was murdering everyone that came close while holding it, but could they not think that the other one could die the instant one of them grabbed it? I wondered if they were perhaps instantly going into a fight for it, but even that wasn’t it.

   They were just a friendly idiot duo. I immediately ran up with the sword and thrusted it into one’s neck.

   “Hukugh?!”

   “Eh? Eh?!”

   There wasn’t even a need to pull it out again. I directly pulled out the dagger in my chest and thrusted up with all my strength from the bottom of the panicking guy’s chin at my side.

   “Kkugh!”

   Having thrusted with all my magic power clawed together just in case considering it wasn’t a longsword, even the handle went through. Only after falling together with the guy that fell backwards to the ground, a deep sense of relief rushed in.

   “Fuck! I thought I was seriously gonna croak! The fuck is this life!”

   Even hardcore had a limit, seriously!

   If it wasn’t for the mage that taught me magic power manipulation, I would have croaked or be crying and tearing up in the mountain from the sorrow of even failing to protect my parents’ corpses.

   “Aaaaack!”

   Though of course, I was still screaming from the welling sorrow even now.

   But since I still had a good long while of life left, I stopped fucking around about there and decided to dust off my butt and stand up. And I then turned my eyes towards the slave who was staring at me.

   With a dirty looking one-piece dress, calm eyes between disheveled light blonde hair were staring at me.

   “You noticed, right?”

   “…Yes, sir.”

   She’s using honorifics. Was it because she’s a slave? No. Even I couldn’t have helped but speak honorifics if my hands were uncomfortably tied while there was a child psychopath that killed 6 people before my eyes.

   Because she could try to kill me, I pulled out the longsword I stuck in the bandit’s neck and approached while staying alert, and only then noticed that she was an elf. I had only now seen it due to her disheveled hair and drooped ears.

   “Elf?”

   At the same time, that was also incredible good news to me.

   “…that’s correct.”

   On the chains on her neck and the shackles that restrained her arms and legs were etched unintelligible patterns and shapes. Unless that was a decoration, there should be only one reason for fastening that sort of thing.

   “Are you a mage?”

   “……yes.”

   Instantly it felt as if the grimy and emaciated elf woman had a halo shining behind her, and I reflexively kneeled and shouted.

   “Thank you god! You actually exist you son of a bitch!”

   A mage! An elf mage at that! An elf mage restrained with magic at that!

   As I thought, life definitely wasn’t a one-way highway to hell. Good things did come too after shitty events! But perhaps because it simply looked like I was having a seizure from the outside, the elf exceedingly raised up her guards and stepped back.

   At a Neeeigh! sound of a horse, I came back to the present and then jumped and grabbed both of the elf’s hands.

   “Kyaaah!”

   “Let’s make a deal!”

   “Eh?!”

   “A deal!”

   Mages couldn’t lie.

   It was the unchanging truth confirmed by the mage who essentially saved my life and both my parents’ mouths.

   I would make a deal she couldn’t refuse.

   🔹

   “So… in exchange for freeing me, you want me to raise you until you’re 16?”

   “That’s not a technically wrong expression, but to be precise, I’m asking you to teach me the survival skills and all the wisdoms of life you know.”

   She was an elf named Asileye. An adventurer, she said.

   I couldn’t understand just how she got caught by those morons, but apparently those morons dusted a different slave trader and merely took Asileye as a loot. And she said that, while cheering at the unexpected loot and going towards a city looking for a slave market, they had found our village.

   Just how the peak morons who got dusted by the morons managed to capture an elf was an even bigger mystery, but I decided to just accept it.

   “As you can see, I have nothing left due to the Demon King Army’s attack. But how could a kid that just turned 8 survive this harsh world? 8 years might not be a short time, but Asileye is an elf, right? If you can exchange getting dragged around as a slave your entire life or worrying about dying at any moment with just 8 years of being bound to me, isn’t that more than a profitable trade?”

   Every condition was perfect. One could wonder whether or not she was an even bigger moron since she got caught by the morons, but neither the race called an elf nor the title of a mage was something trivial.

   Rather, the chance of a miracle that didn’t come easily even to truly kind people somehow making it through and through and causing an elf slave to enter into the hands of the morons was higher than the chance she was a moron elf mage.

   And I, who could make a deal with her right now, was basically holding a chance of a lifetime.

   “I’d like to learn magic too, but truthfully I don’t even consider it something I can learn simply because I wanted to.”

   She was an elf that lived 120 years. 120 years! She said she also knew how to shoot a bow and knew a little bit about swords despite being a mage, but elves’ “little bit” was only a “little bit” in name, and they were a race that didn’t even consider handling something 1 or 2 years as “having learned it”. From survival skills to key tips as an adventurer, she was essentially a living and breathing encyclopedia bursting with knowledge.

   “Please big sis! This poor tiny human boy dies within this year without big sis!”

   I did say I’d make a deal she couldn’t refuse, but I was afraid she would refuse. In the end, I kneeled down and even bowed my head begging and begging again.

   “…can’t you just take me around as a slave for that, sir?”

   “Eh? No, what are you talking about? What do you take me for?”

   This sis talked some dangerous words. For an instant my mood soured so rancid even my face crinkled up.

   “Do I look like a son of a puppy-fucker? A slave, really? I didn’t see you that way, but your thoughts are really violent. Do even elves perhaps have slavery?”

   “No of course not!”

   “Then why do you even say such a thing!”

   She shamelessly got angry instead, so I shouted her down. The hell were you doing mentioning and yapping about a slave when you didn’t even have slavery!

   “…are you really a human? You’re an 8-year old?”

   She looked at me like I really couldn’t be even more disconcerting, but I disinterestedly replied.

   “You should’ve already seen a lot of weirdos in your life, so just accept it as is. It’s the unchanging truth, after all.”

   What more would I have to hide by acting young when I already killed up to six people? Though, there also was no reason to blabber “I actually reincarnated and whatnot” and have my sanity doubted.

   Eyes weirdly full of suspicion but with the wariness gone stared at me for a long while.

   “Alright. I’ll accept it.”

   “…really?”

   “Really. I swear on the name of mage Asileye Endelinia of Green Ivy. I will aid you for the next 8 years and help you survive by yourself.”

   I lived! I nearly teared up from the elation, but I quickly stood up and untied the shackles on Asileye one by one.

   It wasn’t very difficult since the bandit chief had the key. But Asileye, who for some reason formed a weird expression during the entire time I removed the shackles, opened her mouth.

   “You just untied me like this?”

   “Eh?”

   “No, eh, pact and whatnot…”

   “…eh?”

   The hell was she saying…? Wait…?

   “What are you going to do if I just take the goods and run? Normally you have to put your hand on the shackles and renew the contract when you unbind someone with a slave’s shackles on a condition.”

   “Hiick!”

   Instantly my thoughts bleached white and my eyes nearly rolled back.

   “P, please! Help me sis! Please!”

   I clung to her shins and flailed even as my tears almost filled up my eyes. I was fucked! Fucked! I thought I just need to free her!

   “No, wait a sec! I’m not running! I have honor too, you know!”

   Thankfully Asileye was an elf with honor and common sense. Calming me down from nearly falling into panic, Asileye brushed my head and spoke.

   “Don’t worry. Whatever happens, you saved my life. Elves never repay kindness with betrayal.”

   “Like how mages don’t lie?”

   “Actually there are indecent ones among mages who lie.”

   “Hiick!”

   It… wasn’t a truth…!

   “Puhp. No, of course it’s common not to lie. But it’s just not universal. So you shouldn’t blindly trust a mage to not lie too much.”

   To think such diabolical bastards would be given the giant power called magic. This really was an unfair world.

   But separate from that, Asileye held my shoulders with both her hands and looked straight at me as she spoke. Her two eyes shining with emerald light were brimming with clear life unlike at the first.

   “But there are no elves who repay kindness with betrayal. You don’t have to worry about that.”

   “Huuh… thank you very much.”

   I really thought I was gonna get fucked straight away, but it looked like I at least dodged a hardcore survival in a foreign world.

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