A Wish to Grab Happiness

Volume 2, Chapter 29: A Lawless Person

「I’m extremely worried about Filaret at this precise moment. I’m so worried that I feel like my chest is ripping apart. There’s no way that I can calm down in a situation like this. So, I’d like to tell you this. If by any chance he does something bad to Filaret…I’m going to make him my enemy.」

The underground temple was a dim and gloomy space. Only a little light illuminated the immediate surroundings. Caria Burdnick was looking at her little white fingers. Upon hearing those words, Caria twisted her eyebrows.

It was strange. No, or it was rather normal? However, she couldn’t understand his feelings completely.

Helot Stanley. He was, undoubtedly, a man of righteousness. His words were made of authenticity. If one had to choose between trust and doubt, trust would be the correct answer.

However, they’ve met only a few days ago. This was the first time they had the opportunity to have a serious dialogue. Nevertheless, it was strange and confusing. She wondered why she felt like this. Why did it feel as if his words were so correct? The moment he declared that Lugis could harm Filaret La Volgograd, Caria’s brain began questioning if his judgement were true.

「…Let’s not jump into conclusions yet. If that really happens, then I’ll give him the necessary punishment he deserves.」

「Let’s pray that my sincere words are justified. 」

Despite his words, Caria was not easily swayed. Decisions had to be made only when necessary.

What an outrageous remark. This ambiguous, misdemeanant and odious conversation was something she truly hated. Weird feelings indeed. How could their conversation turn into something so serious? And why was he so confident of his distrust. The exact reasons seemed a bit irrational.

Just like Helot declared, Lugis wasn’t in fact, a good person. He did great things, yes. But, he also did questionable things as well. It seemed that Lugis knew how to trick other people. Helot expressed his feelings by saying that it was odd for a commoner like Lugis to accompany someone from a higher class like me. The relationship that we shared was indeed a strange one. It was as if Helot was implying that Lugis had ulterior motives. As if he had a different purpose to stay by my side.

Ah, the confusion came again. What if, what Helot Stanley said was correct?

This was not something to be resolved by intuition. Everything was puzzling. The best approach for this type of situation was to follow the path that seemed the most righteous one to follow.

「What’s wrong, Miss Caria? 」

She was deeply immersed in her thoughts, when something happened abruptly. Her feet stopped naturally. A little light shined upon a shadowy figure exposed on the cobblestone.

She tried calling out the figure, but nothing came out from the wall. There was nothing there. Or so, it seemed. They were the only ones there. Of course, there wouldn’t be anyone else here. Besides Caria, only Helot’s presence could be seen from the little tiny light coming through. In this dim light, it wouldn’t be uncommon for the eyes to see what wasn’t there. Yes, that’s right her eyes were playing tricks on her. They were the only ones there… Could that assumption be wrong?

When Caria lifted her face from the ground, something moved from the corner of her eyes for a very brief moment.

It was a shadow. The shadow moved and defied the light. It formed a silhouette that Caria’s eyes could grasp.

…What a wonderful occurrence to be able to hear the words of those who receive the favor of God.

It was really a shadowy figure. That shadow spoke directly to Caria. She understood its words as they echoed inside her ears.

It was impossible. Caria blinked her eyes and her throat swallowed dry.

…If you’re going to push yourself to the limits, then have your way, Caria Burdnick. Be like a domesticated sheep that will follow the shepherd blindly and fall directly into a cliff. Don’t think about anything and don’t question anything.

The shadow’s words were rough, like they were spoken in rainy storm. It was as if something impossible was happening right in front of her eyes. Like a dream, or a nightmare. Her body didn’t move, it was frozen still, and words didn’t come out from her mouth.

Yet, the words coming out of this shadowy figure were unperceivable. In her mind, Caria gritted her teeth even though she couldn’t move at all.

…That path would be full of bliss. Drown. Just make yourself drown. Okay, let’s do it together. Let’s throw away any reasons or confusing feelings!

Shut up. That’s what she wanted to say, but her words didn’t come out from her mouth. Still, her mouth trembled slightly.

Caria’s body burned like poison from the tip of her toes to the end of her hair. Her heart boiled with heat. Her expressionless face tried to move desperately.

Her silver eyes were undeniably burning with rage. Yes, this was a desperate situation. Unwanted feelings kept entering Caria’s earlobes. What was that shadow? This was ridiculous. Yes, an extremely ridiculous occurrence.

Words kept coming. They were far from being pleasant. They didn’t get out from Caria’s mind. Her head hurt. It didn’t stop. It told her that she broke the rules of her Guild by entering the forbidden forest without permission. As someone from the Knight class, she had been living an excessively free life. A liberated life, unbound by rules and orders.

Inside Caria’s mind. She heard ridicule laughing from all over the world, mocking her.

…Who do you think I am? I know everything about you. Caria, the one who abandoned her home. The lawless one Foolish Caria.

Caria screamed inside her mind. She despised the shadow’s words and tried to get it out from her head.

Caria moved her shoulders slightly. Strangely, her body started to move once again. The shadow stopped speaking inside her mind. Was it an auditory hallucination? Or was it really the words of a shadowy figure? What was the truth? She didn’t know what on earth just happened.

Everything was dubious. But, what was said about her was the undeniable truth. Everything that happened to her was correct. But, she heard her deeds in a very mocking, confusing and hateful way. It sounded as if the shadow tried to break down her self-confidence.

「…Okay, I decided about what you said early on. If Lugis had bad intentions, he would’ve done something to her already.」

Caria started to move forward and spoke directly to Helot. Still, she was still feeling confused about the weird occurrence that happened moments ago. Her existence itself was godly and it radiated with an unmistakable heat.

「I guess so. But, because of that oath, Filaret won’t be able to do anything against him. No matter what other people may say, I think this is not a laughable situation. I should have been the one to take responsibility during that time. I should have stopped Filaret from accepting that oath. I blame myself for it…I really didn’t want to be involved with you people.」

「I see. 」

So, that’s how he truly felt. Caria moved her body. She touched her silver hair and swayed the sword at her back.

「I’m sorry but I can’t agree with everything you said. I won’t argue about what you truly think of him. But, that person saved my life and defended my honor.」

Lugis helped Caria during the fight against the large beast monster. Besides that, he stood by her side against her father in Fort Colliden… And then, he managed to get her out of confinement from the Burdnick house.

If this was put in perspective, then one could say that everything was too lawless. Really, he was far from being a righteous and good person. But, Caria smiled because she knew about Lugis’ good side too.

It was a graceful and genuine smile. A smile that softened a person’s heart. It was indeed a warm and sunny smile.

It was odd coming from a person like Caria. But, if she truly felt that way, then it was real. She pulled out her silver long sword.

「I’ve decided. He is the person who brought me this far. And I was the one who decided to take his hand. That means that I’ve chosen to take his side…because we are comrades after all.」

Her heart burst. Caria expressed her true feelings. Yes, that’s how she really felt about Lugis. Her confusion about this matter disappeared as if heavy shackles were taken off from her body. However, if it was not love per se, then it was some other sort of affection. An affection hard to express in words or colors. That’s why she said they were comrades. She believed in that and it was an easy way to express her affection for him.

Inside the dark and dim underground passage. Caria pulled her silver sword and Helot looked astonished at her with wide opened eyes. Both of them were quietly facing each other.

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