Chapter 196: Nevertheless.
Chapter 196: Nevertheless.
"Yes. I will do that. Alyssa, please take care of yourself. Our encounter has been pleasant." Estelle smiled before leaving the building and going out to find Theo.
She couldn't spot him with her bare eyes, so she resorted to using magic to find his location. After detecting his presence, she immediately rushed to the place. Theo was sitting by a small hill, looking out to the bright sky with glazed eyes that held an indescribable feeling to them.
Deep in thought, the boy who was supposed to be alert did not even notice that she was approaching him.
"Theo." Estelle called out to him.
"...Eirlys." Theo finally addressed Estelle's arrival.
Estelle's eyes drooped as she heard the name. She sat down next to the younger boy and hummed.
"Call me Estelle when we are alone. Since you are becoming my disciple, I thought that you should know at least this much. Your teacher has already known this fact from back when she introduced you to me, you know?" Estelle chuckled. "Just don't get too used to calling me that. I won't forgive you if you said my name out loud in public. Better yet, just call me teacher."
"Estelle? That's your real name?" Theo questioned.
"Yep. I originated from Alfheim, from my beloved family.. Then, I had to leave because I had a purpose to fulfill. I travelled to Sylvania, then to Alfheim.. The documents that I now present to everyone are made in Alfheim. I got the Queen to give me the stamp of approval for this fraud. And now, I am here. In Vaitral. Aren't I great?" Estelle laughed heartily.
"..Are you sure you are fine with telling me this? I am just a little boy who you coincidentally met in a foreign country.. Don't you think that I can betray you in a single go?"
"Oh, my dear. Am I supposed to be scared that you are going to reveal me? I want to think otherwise. I have a lot of secrets, ones that you might not get to hear for the rest of your lives. This matter of my identity is just something trivial, something that was created to make my journey easier. Besides, am I not doing this to make us closer? If we, as a master and disciple aren't close, how are we supposed to proceed in the future?"
"T-then, suit yourself. Can I ask a question?"
"Ask away."
"Why did you run from Alynthi? What happened there for you to go in such a long journey? Your purpose.. You said that you had a beloved family in Alynthi. Why didn't you stay with them?"
Theo was curious. Because this was his first time having to make a huge decision for himself. Tertia's protection was taken away from him, it was like his home had been snatched. He was clueless and torn between what he could do.
"Oh, that's one of the secrets that you would have to reveal. Only time will tell. Perhaps, if one day, you are able to match up to me and become my equal, then you can ask me one more time. But for now.. I'm way stronger than you are, so I will gratefully take the liberty to not answer your question."
Theo did not object and kept his silence.
"...How are you feeling? I saw that you were dozing out." Estelle asked, initiating the conversation once more.
"Hah. Were you worried about me? Was that why you revealed.." Theo showed a wronged expression as if he didn't agree with what Estelle just did.
"Well, yes and no. I did plan to tell you about my identity one day, but seeing you so not in focus made me want to take your attention and place it elsewhere. Especially if you're thinking about a painful thing."
"Did you have painful experiences?"
"Wow! Getting straight to the direct parts. Painful experiences, hm? I have a plethora of them. If it wasn't because of my will and strength.. Oh, I guess luck played a good part as well. If it weren't for those, I would've died a thousand times over. A nasty death. I literally bent over my back just to come here and live on." Estelle burst into laughter as she reminisced her own fate.
"So much.. Then, were you able to recover from them?"
"No. I would say no. I thought that I would never fall into traps again, but then fate decides to fuck me over one more time, and a second, third, and fourth time. At this point, I know that I should just stay alone. But fate won't even let me do that, it requires me to select teammates that I have to fight with. Which means that I would be creating an opening for whoever betrays me in the future. This kind of shitty thing, how am I supposed to recover from them?"
"I see.. I don't really get it, but it seems serious." Theo mumbled, burying his head into his knees again.
"It is serious, it is painful. But such is the way of life. Who am I to disobey? I do plan to fight my fate one day, but for now.. I'm not in a position to do that. One day. My goal is clear, and I am going to run for it."
"You.. sure are brave. Or should I say, you seem to not be bothered by anything."
"Ha, is that right? I always get scared over many things. Betrayal, pain, anguish, whatever it is, I do feel scared. I do cower. But I just slide them off, try to push forward because I know that if I just hide, nothing will change. Isn't that right.. Theo?"
"..!" Theo now finally realized why Estelle was speaking in this manner, and what her intentions were. She was aiming to make Theo think about his feelings and what he should do in the future.
His head was swirling with the thoughts to quit. Even though he was offered with this golden chance of staying with Estelle and not giving up. It wasn't easy, he felt like a baby bird who was left along by the mama bird. Clueless, helpless, in tears.
What did Tertia think when she did such a thing? How could she bear to do this? It was nonsensical in his own brain, but he would never get a chance to glimpse directly into Tertia's brain.
Thus, he could only stare off into the unknown, contemplating his worth and what he did in order to deserve being abandoned. He couldn't find a good reason.
Then, Estelle suddenly came, swooped in, and told him stories about herself. It was probably just a careless attempt to cheer him up and more importantly, make him consider. Make him fight.ChπΓͺck out lπtπst ππvπlπ on n/o/vπ/l/bin(.)c/π/m
It was hard to believe that the young girl who was sitting next to him right now was someone who had undergone the harsh trials and tribulations like the ones she vaguely spoke about. She also had a beloved family, something that Theo never had. Her eyes were mystical, they held so much secrets but seemed so clear and transparent.
She sounded like she had a mountain of experience behind her back even though she was just a teen.
"..I think I get it now. You are not brave, you are just desperate."
"Apply that to your own situation. Do you think you are desperate enough to seek Tertia out? Do you want to see her? Do you want to ask her your questions? Those things, you can't achieve them unless you face your past and be desperate. Just like me. You are right, I am the most desperate person ever. I'm desperate because I know I have been wronged. Because I want to prove to them that they did wrong. That this kind of thing shouldn't have happened. It's not revenge, but for my own self justification." Estelle spoke.
"It's a bullshit excuse, a sad one. But if this kind of thing is what works for me, then I will gladly take it. My options aren't much." Estelle ended her speech.
"Yeah. I know." Theo answered without much thought. "I won't ever get to see her unless I work to death. You know, talking with you feels like I'm talking to an adult.. and not a human child."
It was widely known that Alynthi was like the easy mode for living in the world. Although Elysium could be equated to the perfect utopia, Alynthi did provide survival for most people. You did not need to fight, and could just live on if you were at least a peasant. Those who had the worst conditions were the exception, but Estelle did not seem like someone from the lower caste at all.
"...Then? What's your answer? I think that it's almost time for us to train." Estelle giggled, not minding the comment.
"Thank you, teacher." Theo did not directly answer her question, but he stood up and turned around.
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