My Beloved Concubine Only Wants to Eat Melons

At the emperor's command, Yanshu's new novel manuscript reached the booksellers that very afternoon.0

After a hurried printing process by the publishing house staff, "The Two-Faced Scholar Dies Under the Flowers," the latest work by the Carefree Genius, went on sale early the next morning.0

Needless to say, it sold out immediately.0

The booksellers rushed to print two or three more batches, yet still couldn't meet the demand.0

In the morning, after drafting an imperial edict for the emperor, Hanlin Academy scholar Zou Mozhong saw the emperor had a free moment. He quickly took out a bank note from his pocket and presented it, saying, "Your Majesty, this is the Carefree Genius's manuscript fee for this month. Please pass it on to her."0

As her novels continued to be bestsellers, Yanshu's value had also risen sharply. Now she could earn fifty or sixty taels of silver for a single novel.0

In a month, she could easily make two or three hundred taels.0

For such a large sum, it wasn't convenient to handle actual silver, so the booksellers had started paying royalties with bank notes.0

Yuwen Lan accepted it and casually asked, "How are sales for the new book?"0

Zou Mozhong replied, "You mean 'The Two-Faced Scholar,' Your Majesty? Naturally, it's selling extremely well! The bookseller who brought me the bank note earlier said they've already sold over a thousand copies."0

Over a thousand copies? And it was only morning.0

Yuwen Lan raised an eyebrow and asked, "So, what's the reaction from those who've read it?"0

Scholar Zou immediately replied, "It's excellent, of course. The Carefree Genius's books always spark widespread discussion among the people, but this time even more so. Readers are exclaiming in wonder - who could have imagined there were such two-faced people in the world, if it hadn't been written in the book?"0

Ahem, this was of course just polite official speak. What Scholar Zou was really thinking was:0

[They're all trying to guess who it's about, my dear emperor! Some even suspect it's about the Eldest Princess and her consort! After all, he's both a scholar and from a wealthy family - can someone tell me if it's true?! Is the princess's consort really so daring???]0

[Tsk, of course, the most important thing now is, I wonder how the Eldest Princess will react when she reads it.]0

[But I've heard that princess doesn't like reading books, she only enjoys socializing and entertaining. I guess it'll be a while before she sees it!]0

Yuwen Lan, who was listening silently, thought the same, so he said, "Bring me two copies of the printed novel."0

Zou Mozhong was startled, somewhat puzzled. Didn't His Majesty already read the original manuscript? Why did he want the printed version?0

Nevertheless, he quickly agreed. Upon leaving the imperial study, he immediately went to the street to buy two newly printed copies and delivered them to the emperor in the palace.0

Yuwen Lan received the new novels and flipped through them, feeling that the printed text was indeed clearer and easier to read.0

Ahem, it was much more comfortable to look at compared to Yanshu's crooked handwriting in the original manuscript.0

It seemed he should make her practice her calligraphy.0

Just as he was thinking this, he was informed that officials from the Ministry of Justice and the Court of Judicial Review were seeking an audience.0

He set aside the novels and had them brought in.0

After the two men paid their respects, they reported, "Your Majesty, after interrogation and investigation, we have confirmed that those who caused a disturbance at the Imperial Academy's notice board yesterday were all candidates from this examination. Most of them were resentful about failing and joined in when they saw others causing trouble. However, about five or six individuals started spreading rumors as soon as the results were posted. Upon careful investigation, we found that these few were extremely poor students, and some didn't even qualify to take the Imperial Academy exam."0

It should be noted that not just anyone could take the Imperial Academy exam. For instance, this second batch of candidates all needed recommendations from local education officials or famous academies to be eligible.0

Yuwen Lan asked, "Then how did they participate in the exam?"0

The Vice Minister of Justice hurriedly answered, "These individuals confessed after some interrogation that someone had helped them secretly manipulate their way into the exam. They were instructed that if they saw Li Tianrui's name on the results list, they should immediately spread rumors and cause a disturbance to create trouble."0

Just as suspected.0

Yuwen Lan asked, "Have you found out who's behind this?"0

At this, the Vice Minister of Justice and the Junior Chief Justice exchanged a glance before replying, "It was a senior servant named Feng Dejin, who works for Consort Zhao in the Eldest Princess's mansion."0

Hmph, Zhao Chengwen's subordinate?0

Yuwen Lan had already guessed what was going on.0

The one who had been caned was his nephew, and Consort Ning was his niece. It seemed this was deliberate retaliation against Yanshu.0

He said sternly, "Go to the Eldest Princess's mansion and arrest this person. Continue the interrogation to see if someone was directing this servant's actions."0

The Vice Minister of Justice and the Junior Chief Justice immediately agreed.0

Since it involved the Eldest Princess's mansion, they initially didn't dare to make arrests rashly.0

Now with the emperor's direct order, they had nothing to fear.0

After the two officials took their leave, it was already noon.0

Yuwen Lan had lunch in Qianming Palace. Not feeling sleepy, he decided to take advantage of the momentary lull in urgent matters to bring the bank note to Ganlu Palace.0

Ahem, today was the day the booksellers paid royalties, and that money-loving girl must be eagerly waiting.0

However, when he arrived, he found her casually eating melon seeds on the warm couch, seemingly not in a hurry at all.0

Seeing him arrive, she quickly put down the melon seeds, stood up, cleared her throat, and said, "This concubine greets Your Majesty."0

Yuwen Lan made a sound of acknowledgment and sat down at the table, asking, "Not writing a novel?"0

Yanshu replied, "This concubine was tired from writing yesterday and wanted to rest today."0

Ahem, mainly she was focused on waiting for drama to unfold today, how could she have the mood to write?0

Come to think of it, it was strange. It had been most of the day, and many people in the city had already guessed that the new novel was about that consort Zhao Chengwen, so why hadn't the Eldest Princess shown any reaction yet?0

It left her with no desire to do anything else, truly making her anxious.0

Yuwen Lan, listening silently, "..."0

Glancing at the melon seed shells on the table, he was convinced that she was indeed wholeheartedly waiting to watch the drama unfold.0

To help her shift her attention, he took out the bank note and said, "This is your manuscript fee. It was just delivered today."0

Sure enough, her eyes lit up, and she happily accepted it with a smile, saying, "Thank you, Your Majesty."0

Hehe, another three hundred taels in the account, money truly brings comfort!0

Yuwen Lan found her reaction amusing and asked, "You don't need to spend money in the palace, and your monthly allowance is enough now. Why are you still so fond of money?"0

Yanshu pouted and said, "This concubine didn't live very comfortably before, so I think money is a good thing. Your Majesty wouldn't understand."0

Hmph, anyway, this is all money she earned herself, so what's wrong with liking it?0

Especially since there seemed to be fewer and fewer people in the palace, who knows when the emperor might not need her as a scapegoat anymore and kick her out.0

Of course, she had to ensure her own security!0

Yuwen Lan, "..."0

How could she still think he would abandon her after everything that had happened?0

He wanted to have a good talk with her about this issue, but before he could speak, someone announced from outside, "My lord, Aunt Zhu Shu from the Palace of Benevolent Peace has arrived."0

The Palace of Benevolent Peace?0

Yanshu was startled, looked at Yuwen Lan, and quickly said, "Please show her in."0

Soon enough, the Empress Dowager's lady-in-waiting, Zhu Shu, entered the hall.0

Seeing Yuwen Lan was also present, Zhu Shu hurriedly bowed, "This servant greets Your Majesty."0

Yuwen Lan made a sound of acknowledgment and asked, "Does the Empress Dowager have some matter?"0

Zhu Shu said, "The Palace of Benevolent Peace has just made some water chestnut cakes, which are very refreshing. The Empress Dowager said to invite Consort Yi to come and taste them."0

Water chestnut cakes?0

Yanshu wondered to herself if the Empress Dowager wanted to probe for information again, so she called her over?0

Just then, she heard Yuwen Lan ask, "I'm also in the mood for water chestnut cakes. May I come along?"0

Zhu Shu smiled and said, "Your Majesty is joking. If you were to visit, the Empress Dowager would be delighted."0

Ahem, actually, the Empress Dowager knew His Majesty was here, which is why she sent for Consort Yi.0

Yuwen Lan understood. It seemed the Empress Dowager's real target was him.0

He made a sound of acknowledgment and said to Yanshu, "Then let's go together."0

Although Yanshu didn't quite understand, she thought it would be much better to have the emperor accompany her, so she agreed and left with him.0

When they arrived at the Palace of Benevolent Peace, Yanshu paid her respects to the Empress Dowager. Yuwen Lan took the initiative to say, "I heard there were water chestnut cakes to eat, so I shamelessly came to partake. I hope Mother Empress doesn't mind."0

The Empress Dowager smiled and said, "How could you say that? I'm more than happy that Your Majesty has come."0

She then instructed the palace servants to serve tea and snacks.0

In her heart, however, she snorted with amusement, [I knew you wouldn't be at ease letting Consort Yi come alone, so you came along. What, did you think I would eat her alive?]0

Soon, the water chestnut cakes and hot tea were served.0

Yanshu observed that the pastry was semi-transparent and tea-colored, resembling jelly from modern times.0

She tried a bite and found it soft, smooth, and chewy, with the sweet fragrance of water chestnuts.0

She had heard that the best pastry chefs in the palace were in the Empress Dowager's quarters, and it seemed this was indeed true.0

However, she wondered why the Empress Dowager had summoned her.0

Feeling cautious, she didn't dare to eat too much for the moment.0

Looking to the side, she saw that Yuwen Lan had also eaten a piece of water chestnut cake. He nodded and said, "It's been a while since I've had water chestnut cake. It's indeed excellent."0

The Empress Dowager smiled and said, "If you like it, eat more. It's moisturizing and noise-reducing, perfect for spring consumption."0

Then, changing the subject, she said, "Speaking of which, I just read the Carefree Gentleman's novel this morning, and somehow the characters seemed a bit familiar..."0

Before she could finish, a coughing sound interrupted her.0

It turned out Yuwen Lan was drinking tea and had choked on it.0

The Empress Dowager hurriedly asked, "Is Your Majesty alright?"0

Yuwen Lan composed himself and said, "I'm fine."0

He glanced at Yanshu, only to see her carelessly picking up another piece of water chestnut cake and putting it in her mouth.0

[Oh, so the Empress Dowager wants to inquire about the novel. Since the Emperor had it written, it's got nothing to do with me. I'll just keep eating.]0

Yuwen Lan: "..."0

She really knew how to dodge responsibility cleanly.0

But before he could respond, Xiao Shunzi came to report from outside the door, "Your Majesty, the Eldest Princess and her consort are seeking an audience at Qianming Palace."0

Suddenly, two voices echoed in his ears.0

Yanshu: [Huh? The Eldest Princess and Zhao Chengwen came together? Could it be that I'll get to witness some drama in person today?! Quick, tell them to come here, Emperor!!!]0

Empress Dowager: [Why are they coming at this time? Could it be that they've read the novel and are here to confront the Emperor? I thought that rascal resembled Zhao Chengwen!]0

Yuwen Lan: "..."0

Before he could speak, the Empress Dowager said, "Your Majesty hasn't finished the pastries yet. Why don't we have them come directly to the Palace of Benevolent Peace?"0

Yanshu: [!!! The scene will be even grander then? Wonderful, I'll get to witness some drama in person today!!! The Empress Dowager gets me!!!]0

Yuwen Lan: "..."0

So there's another person eager to watch the show?0

However, the Empress Dowager was after all an elder, and it might be good to discuss some matters in her presence.0

So he ordered, "The Empress Dowager is right. Have them come here, it's a good opportunity for them to pay their respects to the Empress Dowager as well."0

Xiao Shunzi acknowledged and hurried off to relay the message.0

Yuwen Lan then instructed Fu Hai, "Go to the imperial study and bring those two novels."0

Fu Hai also acknowledged and quickly went to fetch them.0

Soon after, Eldest Princess Yuwen Yan and her consort Zhao Chengwen arrived at the Palace of Benevolent Peace.0

Upon entering the hall, they first paid their respects to everyone present.0

Zhao Chengwen, as always, hid behind his wife, looking very simple and honest.0

Moreover, he seemed to carry a hint of grievance.0

Yuwen Lan observed this and asked, "What brings Elder Sister here so suddenly?"0

As soon as he finished speaking, Eldest Princess Yuwen Yan said angrily, "Your Majesty and the Empress Dowager may not know, but just now, people from the Ministry of Justice and the Court of Judicial Review came to the Princess's mansion to arrest someone. They claimed that someone from our household had instigated trouble at the Imperial Academy and wanted to take them back for interrogation."0

Yuwen Lan said, "I ordered them to do so. Yesterday, someone caused trouble in front of the Imperial Academy's notice board, attempting to disrupt the court's prestige. The Ministry of Justice and the Court of Judicial Review discovered that it was the consort's personal attendant who was behind it, so they went to your mansion to make the arrest."0

He then asked, "It's just the arrest of a servant. Why has Elder Sister come to me for this?"0

Yuwen Yan faltered, but still said, "I'm just worried they might wrongly accuse an innocent person. They're investigating Feng Dejin now, but who knows if they'll implicate the consort next?"0

Yuwen Lan smiled and gave Zhao Chengwen a meaningful look, "The court would never wrongly accuse an innocent person. If the consort hasn't done anything, naturally, he won't be implicated."0

As soon as he finished speaking, Zhao Chengwen hurriedly said, "I beg Your Majesty to be clear-sighted. I have never been involved in court affairs, how could I possibly commit such a heinous act?"0

These words sounded as if he was complaining that the emperor hadn't given him any official duties.0

Sure enough, the Eldest Princess immediately said, "Exactly, how come we never get any good opportunities, but bad things are arbitrarily pinned on us?"0

As she said this, Zhao Chengwen tugged at her sleeve, appearing very timid and afraid of trouble.0

Yanshu couldn't help but marvel inwardly, [Damn, he's quite the actor! He's fooled the Eldest Princess so thoroughly, she'd probably still count money for him even if he sold her out.]0

However, upon hearing these words, the Emperor's face showed a hint of anger as he said, "What do you mean by 'good opportunities'? Many people exhaust themselves working for a year just to barely feed themselves, while you receive an annual salary of thousands of taels of silver and spend your days in leisure and pleasure. Is this not considered good enough?"0

His voice had become sharp, and everyone in the hall was startled, lowering their heads.0

Yuwen Yan also paused, then said, "I misspoke. Please calm your anger, Your Majesty. I'm just worried about the consort. You know he's not good with words, and I fear he might not be able to defend himself if wrongly accused."0

Wrongly accused?0

Yuwen Lan couldn't help but laugh bitterly.0

He gestured for Fu Hai to bring the recently fetched novels forward and said to Yuwen Yan, "There's a story here that Elder Sister might want to read."0

But Yuwen Yan said, "I don't like reading such idle gossip written by commoners."0

Before Yuwen Lan could say anything more, the Empress Dowager spoke up, "You should take a look. These novels are quite interesting, and the events described in them are quite accurate."0

Yuwen Yan laughed and said, "Mother Empress has been confined in the palace for too long and must be quite bored. Such vulgar tales are nothing but sensationalism, how could they be accurate?"0

Yuwen Lan didn't argue further and simply instructed Fu Hai, "Tell the Eldest Princess about this story."0

Yanshu: "?!!!"0

Having Fu Hai tell the story to the Eldest Princess in front of so many people?0

As expected, the Emperor knows how to handle things! This method is excellent, having the entire hall of palace servants listen to the story of the consort keeping a mistress! Hahaha! Brilliant, brilliant!!!0

Yuwen Lan: "..."0

She really didn't mind stirring up trouble.0

Fu Hai acknowledged the order and began to tell the story from the novel.0

"There was a talented young man in the capital, born into a wealthy family. He was intelligent, studious, and naturally gifted. At the age of nineteen, he took the imperial examinations for the first time and immediately stood out..."0

Hearing this, Yuwen Yan said proudly, "This person seems quite similar to the consort."0

The Emperor, Empress Dowager, and Yanshu all remained silent, but they couldn't help looking at Zhao Chengwen.0

He was looking down, lost in thought.0

Fu Hai continued, "A wealthy merchant family noticed his talent and took him in as a son-in-law. From then on, he lived a life of luxury and success... However, his in-laws' business was so vast that they didn't need him to work hard. The talented young man found his abilities wasted and gradually became frustrated. He could only secretly keep young and beautiful women as mistresses behind his wife's back, indulging in carnal pleasures to vent his frustrations..."0

Hearing this, the Eldest Princess finally began to sense something was amiss. She thought for a moment and glanced at Zhao Chengwen.0

She saw that Zhao Chengwen's eyes had become panicked...0

"Having tasted the sweetness of beautiful women, the talented young man's appetite grew insatiable. Not satisfied with six mistresses in the capital, he also lavishly purchased mansions in Jiangnan, keeping countless beauties for his own use. The grand scale of his harem rivaled that of the imperial palace..."0

Yuwen Yan paused again—0

Zhao Chengwen traveled to Jiangnan several times a year under the pretext of business...0

While she was in shock, Fu Hai had already reached the crucial part, "His mistresses were deeply in love with him, and most importantly, they had borne him two sons. How could he bear to let his sons live in obscurity? After much difficult deliberation, he finally made up his mind to get rid of his wife..."0

Yuwen Yan's heart skipped a beat. She could no longer care about anything else and snatched the book from Fu Hai's hands to read it herself.0

The more she read, the more her face turned ashen.0

Zhao Chengwen's face had already turned pale. He hurriedly said, "Your Highness, this is all fabricated by the novel writer... You mustn't take it seriously!"0

As soon as he finished speaking, the Emperor suddenly asked him, "If that's the case, why are you so nervous?"0

Zhao Chengwen quickly replied, "I, I'm not nervous..."0

But before he could finish, the Eldest Princess suddenly threw the book to the ground and said, "Zhao Chengwen, could this book be writing about you?"0

Zhao Chengwen hurriedly said, "Of course not! This is clearly malicious slander. The person who wrote this novel has evil intentions!"0

Evil intentions?0

Yanshu, uninvolved, ate another piece of water chestnut cake.0

The Empress Dowager glanced at Yuwen Lan.0

Suddenly, Zhao Chengwen threw himself before her and the emperor, saying, "I beg Your Majesty and the Empress Dowager to see clearly. This storyteller's baseless slander is truly despicable. He should be arrested immediately and not allowed to spread more lies!"0

Yuwen Lan smiled and said, "It's just a story, naturally it's fiction. Why are you so agitated?"0

Zhao Chengwen hesitated, wanting to say he wasn't agitated.0

But the emperor continued, "Speaking of which, when I went out to observe the people's conditions on the fifteenth day of the first month, I happened to run into you."0

At these words, Yuwen Yan looked at Zhao Chengwen with suspicion.0

Zhao Chengwen hurriedly said, "This subject didn't know Your Majesty was there. I was disrespectful."0

Yuwen Lan went on, "You bought some snacks from Tianjing Lane, then visited five or six homes. What was that about? Were you visiting friends?"0

Before Zhao Chengwen could answer, Yuwen Yan frowned and said, "I didn't know you had friends living near Tianjing Lane. Tell me, what were you really doing that night?"0

Zhao Chengwen struggled to lie, "There's a famous snack shop there. I thought the princess might be hungry after drinking, so I wanted to buy some snacks for her."0

Yanshu, sitting nearby and eating water chestnut cake, thought to herself —0

[He's still lying even when he's about to die. Those snacks were clearly for his two mistresses.]0

Then Yuwen Lan said, "Didn't you deliver the snacks to the second house? I heard a young woman lives there with two boys."0

At these words, before Zhao Chengwen could say anything, Yuwen Yan's eyes widened in shock.0

"Two boys? So the story was true! Were you planning to get rid of me so you could bring that whore and her three children into the family?"0

Zhao Chengwen hurriedly shook his head, "No, no, no, how could I dare do such a thing to Your Highness..."0

Before he could finish, Yanshu quickly interjected, "So the mistresses are real, you just weren't planning to harm the Eldest Princess?"0

Hearing this, Yuwen Yan's face turned ashen and her eyebrows furrowed in anger.0

Her gaze swept around the hall, suddenly spotting the exorcism sword hanging on a pillar. She strode over, pulled out the sword, and swung it at Zhao Chengwen.0

"You dog! I'll kill you today!!!"0

Zhao Chengwen was so frightened he turned and ran.0

But Yuwen Yan pursued him relentlessly, shouting in rage, "Mistresses? Courtesans? Even buying a house in Jiangnan to keep beauties!!! If I don't cut you down today, I'll have failed my Yuwen ancestors!!!"0

Everyone in the hall was shocked and terrified, except for Yanshu who watched intently, thinking excitedly —0

[Now we'll see if the Eldest Princess's swordsmanship is accurate enough to hit him! Tsk, she won't really cut off his thing right there, will she? So exciting!!!]0

Just as she was thinking this, the Eldest Princess's blade swept across Zhao Chengwen's arm. The man let out a howl as blood immediately began to flow from his arm.0

Yanshu froze, then suddenly felt weak all over, nearly falling off her chair.0

She was fainting at the sight of blood again.0

But how could she faint at a time like this?0

She mentally screamed at herself, [No! I absolutely can't faint now!!! Pull yourself together, you can't miss this exciting scene!!!]0

Yuwen Lan: "???"0

Her face had gone pale, yet she still wanted to watch the commotion?0

He immediately stood up from his seat, walked over in a few steps and pulled her into his arms, saying to the two, "Stop."0

The Empress Dowager also hurriedly said, "His Majesty is present, how can you behave like this? Stop immediately!"0

However, Yuwen Yan's eyes were red with fury, as if possessed, and she showed no signs of stopping.0

In the blink of an eye, she swung her sword at Zhao Chengwen's face again, instantly causing blood to gush from his face.0

Seeing this, Yanshu felt even weaker, and nearly rolled her eyes back.0

Yet her mind was still clinging to the last shreds of consciousness —0

[Don't faint!!! Stay awake!!! He might really lose his precious part!!! This is a once-in-a-lifetime scene!!!]0

Yuwen Lan: "???"0

He could feel her fainting more severely and didn't dare delay any longer. He quickly said, "Guards, stop her immediately!"0

The guards rushed into the hall and finally restrained Yuwen Yan.0

Meanwhile, Zhao Chengwen knelt on the ground, howling and covering his face.0

Yuwen Lan said, "Elder sister, don't be hasty. I've already ordered an investigation. If he has truly wronged you, he will be dealt with according to the law and family rules."0

Yuwen Yan's hair was disheveled, her jewelry scattered on the ground. She pointed at Zhao Chengwen, panting with rage, "You dog! I've spoiled you all these years! Your father's marquis title, your niece's consort position - I should have fed them to the dogs instead!"0

As she finished speaking, Yanshu, still in Yuwen Lan's arms, mustered her fading consciousness to yell internally, [That's right! So two cuts aren't enough!!! One more strike, aim for his vital spot!!!]0

Yuwen Lan: [...]0

This girl was beyond saving.0

He ordered, "Escort the princess to rest, find an imperial physician to bandage the consort's wounds, but don't let him leave the palace."0

Everyone acknowledged the order and escorted the couple out of the hall.0

The hall finally quieted down. Yuwen Lan asked the Empress Dowager, "Did this frighten Mother?"0

The Empress Dowager sighed, "I'm fine. This girl's temper hasn't changed one bit!"0

Yuwen Lan was about to nod when he heard the Empress Dowager think, [That Zhao boy got off easy today!]0

"???"0

Then he heard the Empress Dowager sigh again, [Ah, the princess has it good, being able to cut men as she pleases.]0

Yuwen Lan: "???"0

The Empress Dowager then asked him, "What's wrong with Consort Yi?"0

Yuwen Lan snapped back to attention and said, "She faints at the sight of blood. I'll take her back first."0

The Empress Dowager quickly nodded, "Poor dear, go quickly then."0

Yuwen Lan acknowledged and carried Yanshu away.0

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